Happy 4th of July. I literally just found out 15 minutes ago that someone I had met once just passed away on Sunday. She wasn't an acquaintance, but also not quite a friend. More like a friend of friends whom I spent a few days with during the summer the past 2 years. I can't say I was close to her or her bf, but because my friends were close to her, and I'm close with these friends, and just the fact that I met her and have spent time with her, has made her passing impact me. SInce I didn't know her very well, I'm not devastated, but it does make me sad. And it makes my heart break to know her bf was there when she passed. For not knowing them very well I could tell he really loved her. And it must've sucked for C to have gotten this devastating news on his way down to a week long beach vacation. It just got me thinking that people come and go all the time. Babies are born, people die, couples get married, ALL THE TIME. That's life. Constantly changing. I just watched this piece on brian williams this morning about the highest observatory in Chile. They've got lots of satellites, high tech equipment, all to explore the universe. And there was this photo that they showed of just this small part in the sky, yet it held like 20 different galaxies. It's just interesting to me how deaths can be so profound, and yet we can be so insignificant in the universe, and both these things can be happening simultaneously at any moment of any day. It's all very mind blowing.

An LA Story

Tonight was a good night. I had invited a few friends for the atwater movie night's screening of LA Story, starring Steve Martin and even SJP. A few had said they would come, a few had canceled, a few didn't even respond. But overall it was a great night. Despite the movie being from the 90s, everyone still loved it. I had no idea what it was going to be about, I didn't want to read it and not be interested. But the fact that it was set in LA and had all these stereotypes about LA was so great! God I love steve martin. He even managed to make Fil love him, Fil, who had made fun of me all this time for my love of him. We ate, we socialized, we watched a great movie. This is the second movie I've seen this week that is set in LA. I wonder how many movies set in LA there are, I thought about doing a marathon of LA movies. I really do love LA. I haven't really lived anywhere else other than SoCAL, but I really love LA.

Polka Dot Summer

I've always wanted a mint green vespa with a matching mint green helmet. This dress would go splendidly with that.

Great Expectations

Changes are coming! Today President Obama did something very brave by coming out and supporting same sex marriage. I think whether you agree with him on this issue or not, I don't think anyone can deny that it was a bold and brave move. Sure, it may have been a calculated move towards his re-election, sure. But it also could be the issue that doesn't get him re-elected. He basically just opened up the flood gates for his opponents to attack him. But taking a stance like this is like standing up for the kid who gets bullied. It takes a lot of courage to stand up against a crowd and stand behind an idea that is unpopular. I give him props for that. I know I have been in situations where I probably could have spoken up about something but decided to stay silent because I wasn't brave enough to speak my mind, and stand up for what I believe in. (Except for that one time at a party when the cops showed up to tell us to keep it down and were actually being cool about it, and when they left all the party goers were badmouthing the cops. That one time I decided to speak my mind and said to all the stoned and drunk party goers: Well they're just doing their job! Not so popular after that...I really need to learn to pick my battles.) In any case...good for the ol prez. Maybe I need to take a note from him and stand up more for the things I believe in. Be a braver me.

Currently...

Exporting and admiring this dress.

I really do have too many dresses I already don't wear enough but then summer time comes and all these dresses appear. Must. Resist.

Thanks #6

Today. Today I am thanksful for: NOT COUGHING!

Ok I just coughed a little bit as I typed that. But! After 2 and a half months of hacking up my lung everyday, I think it is finally gone. Poof. Well, not poof. I'm sure there's still remnants. But I think by monday it will be old news. It has been a long two and a half months. Finally, I can sleep through the night. Not annoy my coworkers. Stop going to CVS for RICOLA and other assorted drug concoctions.

Today I am thankful for being...healthier.

I've been wanting to make this post for a month. But the cough just kept coming back. So for me to actually be finally posting this ...I feel good about this. Thanks.

Life

Big sigh.

Thanks #5: Cauliflower Soup

Today I am thankful for the introduction of cauliflower soup into my life. Hillzy made it for us the other night, along with a yummy yet simple pork sandwich, and I was in heaven. I love soup. Soupy soup soup. I love it to the bone. But I'm very particular about my soups. Who knew that such a simple soup made from a vegetable I've never liked that much could be so delicious? I've also had mashed cauliflower made to taste like mashed potatoes, and that was quite good as well. Cauliflower, you're a sneaky vegetable, but you're alright. In fact, you are quite delicious.

Valley

A slow panic set in today as I paid some bills and looked at my depleting account. The job I was suppose to start next week got postponed another week, and from talking to a coworker, it sounds like it's going to be a nightmare. It's just making me antsy because I want this job behind me so I can find something more fulfilling. But for now it'll pay the bills, so I can't really complain. But I probably will. It's just so easy to spend money you don't have when you have so much time on your hands.

But when you have time on your hands, cooking suddenly doesn't seem so time consuming (except when you're starving). I think I've made and eaten most of my meals at home this week, which I haven't done in a while. I've made three tasty recipes which makes me feel like an accomplished woman with gloves. It's also making me eat less (most of the time), so I can shrink the monster in my stomach back to pre-holiday gorging needs. It'll be too bad when I won't be able to keep this up when I start working. But I'm hoping my growing list of tasty recipes will help with some decision making at least. It's amazing that my job consists of making thousands of decisions but when it comes to what I want to eat, I can never decide.

A friend said to me today that 2012 is the year to take risks. I thought, heck, why not, I'm already 30, unemployed, I have nothing to lose. And also, the world is supposedly ending, so what better year to start taking risks right? I would like to take the jump, but I still feel like I have some preparations to make before the jump. But then again, is anyone ever prepared for risk taking? I guess it wouldn't be considered a risk then, if you're prepared.

I did apply for a job yesterday in NY. I guess that was some sort of a risk. But it was such a long shot of a thing that not doing it would've seemed lazy. I guess I'm just trying to be open to whatever opportunities are out there. Except, when I thought about how much of a long shot it was again this morning, along with my depleting account, I got somewhat discouraged and depressed at my upcoming prospects.

I'm hoping things will work themselves out, like they usually seem to...eventually.

Thanks #4

Today I'm thankful for things that don't seem to work out when you want them to but realize later that it led to something else that worked out much better later. I'm sure there's a word for that but I can't think of what it is right now.

For instance, to piggy back on thanks #2, had the burglary in my old apartment never happened, I would've never found my current wonderful apartment. Or is that just things working out on their own? I dunno.

I feel like most of the time things work out pretty well for me, from either me working really hard for something, or that I get lucky in a situation and they end up working out. Things like...my good parking karma. Skill or just good luck? Finding my apartment: good timing or good luck? Who knows. I just know that I've been in a few fortunate situations, so that is what I am thankful for today.

Thanks #3: Limbs

Today I am thankful for: my limbs.

I know that is a weird thing to be thankful for but I am SO thankful for it. My arms and legs, thanks for being there, and for working. Properly. I think this came from a time when I was younger and got hurt a lot more. There were times when I was bandaged up and couldn't get an arm or a leg wet in the shower. You know how hard it is to shower when you have to stick out a leg? Or when you soap up with only one arm? Well you can't really. And when those injuries happened enough, I always took the time to stop, and be thankful for the day when I would be all healed up and can lather with two hands.

You see people do every day things without limbs all the time. They paint, they drive. I saw this video of a really good looking guy with no arms or legs doing things you would never imagine. So I know its possible to live without them and life goes on. But I wouldn't want to. I'm too independent for that. I can't imagine having to rely on someone to wash me or feed me or clothe me. I hated asking for rides in high school. I like to live as a self sufficient woman. SSW, ftw!

Besides all that, I love my hands too much. I rely on them too much. I have urges. And no, I'm not going down that path. I just have these urges to create. Not all the time, but...a lot of the time. And it's always this deep seated urge. Like lately, I've been too static. When I get too static is when I feel the need to create. And when I can't think of anything, I end up cooking. To me that feels like creating. So I guess I've been doing some cooking lately. But I wouldn't be able to cook without my hands. It'd be hard. And I want to sew. And draw. And mold. And clean hard to reach corners that only my fingers can get to. And hold one pound weights. And play my violin, my keyboard, my guitar, my accordion. And type words into my computer for this post...

I am so thankful for my fingers and opposable thumbs and my arms and my legs and my feet so that I can wear my heels. Even though my toes crack whenever I walk across the warren's floor, I love them just the same.

And that is what I'm thankful for today.

Thanks #2

Today I'm thankful for: My awesome apartment.

About 2 years ago around this time, I was fighting my landlord over her lack of competency in dealing with the aftermath of my apartment getting burgled over the holidays. Finally, I decided to move. I didn't think anything of this apartment's listing when I saw it online. When I finally walked in, I thought it was nice, but something in me decided not to take it (that something turned out to be bad placement of furniture already in the apt). But when the landlord left, he didn't lock the place, so I went back to take a second look, and started seeing possibilities. I took pictures. Sure it was more than I wanted to pay, but still reasonable for all the amenities.

Two years later, I still LOVE my place to death. Sure, it's still not decorated (well, I did put one (1) thing up). Sure I still have one box that looks like it hasn't been unpacked. But I love my apartment. I love the amenities. I love the attention to detail that was put on this place. I love not having to share a wall (except with critters in the night). I love the neighborhood sooo much. I love that I'm in the back so, if people ever break in, they'd probably go to the front house first. Not that that's a good thing, but at least there's more of them there to call for help, unlike if they broke in and killed me, that'd be it. I love that I have an office like space and a living room space. I love that I can walk to coffee, bars, restaurants, the library, the post office. I love that trader joes is so close. I love that I have a little back yard with real actual fruit growing on the trees. The other day I actually went out and picked a real lemon to use for dinner. I love that my landlord is really cool, quick to respond, and lives close by for those few times I locked myself out. I love the houses on my street. I love that Hills and Chauncey live close by and that we've grown closer. Having good friends live close to you really makes a difference. I love that there is a farmer's market on sundays I can walk to. I love that LA people don't know where this place is (I'm talking about you, Santa Monicans!). I love that sometimes when I go to bed I can see the moon outside my window from bed.

Sure there are things that can be improved on, but for the most part, it's pretty perfect. I feel really lucky to have found this gem. And had I not been a single asian nonsmoking female with no pets, I probably wouldn't have gotten it. (The asian thing to blend in more with my front neighbors, so it doesn't look too obvious I'm living in a converted garage that is probably not too kosher with the codes. And female because the neighbors have little kids.) I'm trying not to think about the day I'll have to move for a job or something. From here I want to move into a house. This has been the most bestest apartment I've ever lived in. And for a homebody, that is a huge deal.

That is what I'm thankful for today.

Thanks #1

I'm gonna try something different...we'll see how long it lasts.

Today I'm thankful for my BFF who is currently in the hospital, maybe having a baby. BFF and I have known each other for a while now, and probably for the rest of our lives. It's nice to have someone like that in your life. Sometimes I wished we lived closer and had the same aged kids so that one of us can run out and run an errand while the other watched the kids. I know if I ever have kids I'm going to want a trusted babysitter (and watch her while she babysits so I know she's working hard). We've been through a lot together, and probably will go through a lot more. I love that we live completely different lives but still love getting together and sharing our lives. I know about her friends, she knows about mine. I probably have more pictures of her kids in my phone than any other person. Her littlest one picked out a christmas present for me. They play with me through barbie dolls when I'm not there. I'm so thankful that they don't forget me every time I leave. I could go on and on but I feel like we know our relationship so well that I don't need to. Besides, I'm gonna try to keep this series short and quick.

That is what I'm thankful for today.

So this is christmas

I don't like to blog when I'm sick, but it seems to be what I end up doing anyway. To me it's just complaining to people who come here to read about anything except complaints. Maybe that's why my readership has declined. But honestly, I haven't really done anything today except watch episode after episode of friday night lights, so a little change of pace wouldn't hurt me.

This holiday season started off strong. I made ornaments, I decorated. I bought holly barrettes to wear in my hair. But now with one more week to go, I've already lost the holiday spirit. I guess laying on the couch all day can do that to you. I was really looking forward to going to some holiday parties and dressing up a little and eating cookies and good food all weekend, but that didn't happen. I was going to make some avocado fries to bring to the parties but now all I'm left with are just avocados. I also have a bottle of wine staring at me giving me googly eyes, but I know I'll probably feel worse if I give in when I'm already feeling like crap. I guess there's always next year. And if I start now, I'm ahead of the game.

But I'm just really tired of this stupid cough. And I'm feeling quite pathetic and sorry for myself.

I'll allow myself to wallow for the rest of the night. Tomorrow is a new day to a new week. Tomorrow I'll wake up ready to hit the ground running. I'll wear something pretty, put my holly barrette on, and this sick lazy weekend will be a by gone. Good bye, bygone!

Oh yea, and Kim Jong Il passed away this weekend. Not sure how that'll change things this coming week. Should be interesting.

Oh and what is up with all these yearly lists coming out before Christmas? Usually they wait til Christmas is over I thought, and hype it up before the new year, but this year it seems to have come earlier than usual. A bit too early in my opinion. I'm not ready for this year to end yet.

I really wish I had some pie right now.

Blah

Instead of going out on a Friday night, I just spent the last few hours rearranging the furniture in my apartment. Moved the bookshelf thither to make room for more possible shelves. Spent the time taking all my books out of the book shelf to move it only to then decide I didn't like where I had moved it and so moved it back to where it originally was, and placed all the books back. And now my back is sore, and I'm back to exactly where I was a few hours ago. Oh well, guess no new shelves for me! I've been having this itch to redo my apartment somehow. But that involves money I shouldn't really be spending. I'm actually glad I did this tonight, to reassure myself that I can't buy those new shelves. These are the things I do instead of going out for human contact. Oy.

Oh yea, and looking at pretty things.



I'm so lame.