How does one sell oneself?

And no, i don't mean the type of transactions on the street corner, you dirty thing. I mean, how do you build yourself up into this great awesome person for other people when sometimes you really doubt it yourself? It's hard to do I think. Don't you?

Warm Weather

Today i walked out of the office after work and felt like it was spring time. It was oddly warm, and there was actually light out. What's going on? Is it spring already?

But i do love the later sunsets. You just feel like you have more time in the day to get your stuff done when its light outside.

And apparently, tuesday nights around 8:30 are when the cute boys shop at the grocery store. Perhaps their gfs have all taken over the tele for American Idol night, and they just need to get out for a breather, a quick smokey smoke, some ice cold beers to claim their manhood back. Perhaps? In any case, i was unprepared for such a barrage of dapper fellows milling about, so i quickly gathered my mango and apples and yogurt and Bass (on sale!) to make a quick exit, only to be slowed down by the self-checker...yeah, that self-checker that's suppose to let you check out quicker, make that quick exit easy for you in such situations. I had to wait to get the apples weighed and cleared and the mango weighed and cleared and my id checked and blah blah blah.

After all that though, I did get to leave with Ben and Jerry. I know they will make me very happy.

Random thoughts...

Is it weird that it kinda bothers me when I log on to my online bank account, and my bank greets me with, Welcome Back, Wang?
It really just puts me off for some reason. They obviously have my full name in the database, why can't they greet me with my first name? It would sound a lot more personal, don't you think? It just kinda creeps me out. Like my computer is my football coach or something, and every time i want to check my balance, my coach is there to greet me, but instead he is shouting it...using my last name. Maybe if i'm good and have a large balance when i log off, i'll get a slap on the ass for a job well done?

And...fruit on the bottom yogurt. Why? I pondered this as i ate my fruit on the bottom yogurt today...as i furiously mixed to get the fruit to mix in evenly with the rest of the yogurt. If they put the fruit on the top, by the time it gets to me, it'll practically be all mixed in already. If they mixed the fruit with the yogurt...wow, what a concept, I'd be able to eat it immediately! Not that its THAT hard to mix my own fruit in the yogurt from the very very bottom of the cup (where the corners indent out...blueberry likes to hide out there), but they very specifically include on the label "with Fruit on the bottom" as if its a big selling point. As if i would be more likely to buy the yogurt if i can mix in the fruit on my own? I just don't get it.

Other Random Banterings

Last night i realized that i kinda have a crush on Ira Glass. Sure he is my hero...but...part time lover? One can only dream. I really love him.

It's 7:43pm. The oscars are on in the background, and i will shortly be in bed. I've been up for the past 36 hours, with only about 1.5 hours of sleep. Things are starting to blur, and my eyes grow heavy. Aren't you glad, dedicated reader, that I'm even taking this time to blog??

"She has a proclivity for everyone else's shoes, and mischief on her face."
Perhaps that is how I will begin my greatest song of all time. By george, that's it!

Alright, time for the oscar for most original song...I hope ONCE wins!!

OMG! And they did!! No surprise, but gosh, how great for them! Golly gee...

LOST

I've lost it! I've lost my creativity! It's gone! It fell out of my pocket somewhere back in college, and now it's probably just sitting in the grass by itself, getting wet from the sprinklers, being sniffed by a dog...and then probably shat on.

I should be working on my website. My website that used to be endless joy for me to create...but now I'm stuck on little things...like color scheme and the perfect name and fonts and layout. Instead i'm here whine-blogging about it, procrastinating until who knows when.

This is exactly like my inabilities to decorate my apartment. Too many choices, can't make a decision. I just need to do and go.

Ok, here i go...

Gone Postal

I just spent 30min waiting in line at the post office for 75cents worth of postage. Yes i'm serious. I stood behind the cutest girl though, she was very nice, and we bonded after her cell phone attacked me. I think I wouldn't mind working at the post office after I retire. I mean, the hours are regular and you get all the government holidays. Plus those snazzy uniforms...I wouldn't have to worry about what to wear all the time then. I could work behind the counter, or be one of those walking postwomen and get exercise everyday. The only problem would be getting around those dogs....

Well, after all that waiting, I simply couldn't just walk out of there paying .75cents of postage. So i got me some superhero stamps. They're quite awesome I must say. Give me a reason to mail you something.

Words and words

Sigh...so i was this close to finishing a personal project 2 years in the making...and then I just found a major error. So i started to fix it and decided to procrastinate by blogging.

Blog blog blog.

So, one catchy candy jingle and a mediocre try at a song later, I still don't have that great song written. That one great belt out in your car, cry your heart out, can't get out of your head, I've gotta put it on loop song. There's already too many about unrequited love, love lost, crazy in love, heart break heart ache songs out there...maybe i'll write one about recalled beef, there's never enough of those...trust me, when I get it right you'll hear about it. Maybe you'll even sing about it.

Time to get back to work...I'm on a deadline.

Book parties and such...

Who would've thought that being at a party with my name is earl and hyde would be a snore in the land of doldrums? The event piqued Vonne and my own curiosity, but i soon learned that nothing really goes on at a book party. To be fair I only knew the author's brother (who himself had not read the book), and Vonne arrived way after us. If I had been friends with these people or made an attempt to start conversations with any of them, it might've been somewhat interesting. (The event, not the company i was with.) But instead i stuck to Y+T, discussing the merits of having large text on walls as an alternative to wallpaper. (Quite an interesting idea I must say.)

So instead, we bid the party adieu and sauntered over to Cosmo's for what turned out to be a fantastic night of ancient Japanese hiccup secret cures and drunken karaoke. And boy, what karaoke! Old japanese men crooning to old japanese hits, vonne's melodious rendition of jill scott, JV and I making THAT CHANGE per Michael J's request, Bryan Adams appearing out of NOWHERE, and on and on. Karaoke makes the world a magical place. It really does.

Next up: I really must unload my camera and upload some pictures. It's been months. I see other people's blogs full of pictures and videos, and it really just adds to the blog-mosphere. I know i'm trying to keep myself somewhat anonymous, but really, my two readers already know who I am and those who fall into the blog by chance...well, I'm guessing that they just pick themselves up and are on their merry little way very quickly. So if i'm hip enough to have an rss feed, I think its time to start putting up pictures...don't you think?

Ugh

AND! And i have a big zit growing on my face. It's annoying and it hurts. They always like to emerge from the same place. You think it went away or you killed it, but no, it just goes on vacation every once in a while, but it returns. TO THE SAME PLACE. GD it!

Thursday

Geez, i look like crap today. Especially more so than usual, just to spite this non holiday that is a pain in our ass. I nearly screamed when i saw all the teddy bears and flowers on the side of the road this morning. Stuffed animals are a waste of money. Especially when they're gigantic, and not going to a needy child. Especially when they're seasonal, and holding a red heart. I hate seasonal stuff....like plates. Like when you walk into Target or Linen's n Things, they always have plate sets for that particular holiday. Halloween plates and christmas plates and valentines day plates and fall plates and summer plates...ugh. You only need one set of plates!!!

Although this morning i did get some heart shaped candies from a fellow coworker, and for 2 minutes i was brought back to third grade when we made paper bag envelopes and suddenly i panicked cuz i felt like i forgot to write out HER valentine. But then i reminded myself, oh, its a non holiday, chillax. But still, it was very nice of her.

I'm in an awful mood today, unrelated to this non holiday, so I thank you for letting me rant. Perhaps there will be more later.

At last!!

The strike is over. Thank goodness.

Over and out.

Move along

Lately I've been thinking about moving. NY? SF? I know some people there. Out of the country? But it'd be hard to find a job and get a permit and all that. France? Australia? Canada? Too bad I don't know anyone in canada...it'd be a great mix of english, french, chinese....plus there's some production up there, so a job may be more likely. I mean, come on, Canada is the home of Degrassi the next generation, what could be sweeter? It's hard to move to a place where you don't know people. It's hard to move to a place when you DO know people! Moving is just hard in general. But it'd be a nice change of pace. Too bad I can't get myself on the production of LOST. I hear hawaii's nice this time of year...

This just in...

Oh my...what do I do??

So i just let my machine pick up two phone calls...first time the guy was confused, second time he left a message.

His name is robert, and he's making reservations for two for...VALENTINES DAY!!!!!! The second session, whatever that means. I wonder which restaurant he thinks he called....

Thing is, my phone is connect to the keypad to get in. So, i've gotten calls from people wanting to get in and stuff....so i just stopped answering my phone. And my message says, "Please leave a message." That's it. No name, no nothin. I didn't want to say my name on the machine because people who call from the keypad downstairs will get the machine message if i don't pick up, and know my name! Anyways, its a pretty intricate system of avoidance I've set up, don't question it.

But..so...what do i do? I don't want to call him back! But i also don't want to be the reason him and his date are stranded on valentines day! He spelled out his name and left a number and everything!

Thanks alot valentines day! If you didn't exist, none of this would've happened. You're not a real holiday anyway so stop acting like one!


*********NEXT DAY UPDATE*********

So i called the DOOD back this morning, trying to explain that he called me...the wrong number...valentine's day reservations? He either couldn't hear me, or couldn't understand me, so i guess the next logical thing to do was....hang up on me?

Thanks mr. Thanks a million. Trying to do you a favor and get you possibly laid on Vday, and what do you do? Hang up on me???

Sigh.

So in my quest to save their relationship, i texted him back. "You dialed the wrong number last night for your reservations."
And, let me just say, that is a looooong sentence to text for someone who is text handicapped, and running late for work.

And oh what's this??
I just got a text back! It wasn't in vain after all! (i wasn't even sure if i dialed the right number, couldn't tell if he said 310 or 210 on the message) So he just texted back "U r rite my apologiz"

Hooray! SH saves the day! Boy, I'm tired...now i know how Batman feels. That's enough good deeds for the day MONTH.

This played out in my head last night...dim the lights.

Lady with blonde curly hair, freshly done nails, snapping gum in mouth:
"Ugh, but Harry, you said you MADE reservations!!"

Man with open shirt, gold chains:
"But hon, i did, i promise. Check the list again will ya kid? I called and left a message last week!"

Red haired kid with freckles and suit:
"I'm sorry sir, you're not on this list, we didn't get a call from you last week. Please, sir, step away from the book...I can't take your money sir, we are all filled up, I really can't get you a table. Sir...sir, please, personal space..."

Lady:
"I give you one thing to do harry, ONE THING, and you can't even remembah to do it."

Harry:
zoom in on sad face....cue trumpet sound fx: wop wop wop wop wwwwwop!

AND SCENE.

Picture

I just got this picture from T and had to share it. It's a pretty funny picture of C and I, but...is that a fat long haired luke wilson sitting next to my presents?? Nice of him to show up to my birthday...hahaha. One year Dax Shepard was having dinner at the same time as my party, and then later, Jason Schwartzman came for karoake. I mean, the real guy! Not this luke wilson imposter. It's ok, the more the merrier.

It's always better on holiday...

Lately, i feel like a tornado, pretty much a wreck, mentally and emotionally. This year so far has been..tumultuous, to say the least. I've hit the lows and then climbed back to the OK corral only to go back down again. If it's not one thing its another. I'm tired from these spikes...I just want to plateau at steady and sip some champagne. But i guess all these emotional spikes just means i'm alive...not dead. I just want a vacation from my head. Like in cartoons when the ghost spirit steps away from the body. Then, i can just push the automate button in the back of my head, underneath all that hair, and just float away while my automaton body continues to be me. Just for a little while.

I had a lovely date tonight with the bff in the oc. The drive there was horrendous, worse than expected. But we rarely get alone time anymore so it was nice to just have dinner (though quickly cuz we were running late for the show) and chat. The show was BLAST, and it was pretty good, some parts better than others, but there were really some awesome amazing musicians I saw tonight. The drummers were pretty incredible, i just don't know how they do it. That's the one thing i don't care much for in Rock Band. I'll let the others fight over the drums as long as i can rock out to something else on...11.

Shadow of the Day

Normally I'm not a huge fan of Linkin Park...in fact I don't think i'm a fan at all...til this song. It's such a great song...so very U2 like. It's quite a change from the usual stuff. It's such a great song title too. I think i can write a novel titled, Shadow of the Day, and it'll be a best seller based on the title alone. Reminds me of one of the Enders game books...hm...kinda want to read that now.

Now one of the many things that really bums me out about the end of imf is the end of my world music knowledge. Where else now will i find out about artists like sia and miyavi and verdena? I had it all at my fingertips, and now, poof, it's all gone. And sure, i watched alot of really bad hip hop videos about hos in different area codes, but the good ones...the really good videos make it all worth it. You know what this is like?

It's like when the milkman drops off milk everyday for the little 5 year old boy. Orphan boy...of course. And suddenly one day, the milkman doesn't come anymore! Where will the little orphan boy get his milk? Sure they're out in grocery stores, but little orphan boy can't drive yet! He doesn't even know about grocery stores, he's only 5! And an orphan, of course. This is exactly what it's like.

Um..yea.

So you see, after that prime example i just made up on the spot, do you see how my novel would NOT be a best seller? I rest my case.

Elis Regina

Wow. I'm so in love. My itunes suddenly started playing Elis's Carinhoso...I've forgotten about this song and now I'm in love with her voice all over again. What is it about portuguese that makes it so romantic? It sounds like a very nasally language, which has the possibility to be annoying...but it isn't. Instead, it draws me in...and oh the guitar picking, oh this part is the best....and her voice is so sexy. I love you Ms. Regina.

Laws of Attraction

Some say it's all a numbers game. To me it's a very unromantic way to look at things. But then again, maybe romance was created in movies, made up by people who have now affected my ways of thinking. Who knows.

Going back to things being relative...I still can't quite put into words this relativity i think about all the time. Like distance. Hm..it's all up in the ether and I can't quite pull it down to articulate it.

I just wonder...

People who are married. People who have this person that they love, they get along great. Sure they have arguments here and there, but for the most part, this is the person you want to be with. What about the other love of your life that you've never met because he was hundreds of miles away on the other side of the earth? He could possibly be the love of your life except you'd never know it because you've never met. So all these people in love....they're in love with the one that's closest in proximity with them at the time. Sure there are lots of instances of people meeting their loves while on vacation on the other side of the world. But for the most part, people meet people they live close to. And yes, i know there's lots of long distance dating...and this is where it starts getting hazy for me and i can't quite explain what i'm thinking.

This business of being single...sometimes it's crappy, but other times, its the most wonderful thing in the world! Once you're in a relationship, you're closed for business. You're no longer open to the world of people. When you're single, everyone's a possibility. Then again, i'm sure you'll argue with me on this. Please do so.

Tomorrow is another day. A day where I will bring in my own half and half for my coffee. No more of that powder crap. You'd think that a company with fancy coffee machines would have some real milk somewhere, but alas, its all powder creamer. This makes me angry. But then again, just being in this new place makes me kinda angry. However, anger aside, i really do have it good right now, which is why i'm bringing in my own h/h. No more yelling at the powder creamer inside my head. It's not its fault. It's only fault is trying to be delicious when it clearly cannot. But then again, we all strive to be better in life, why shouldn't powder creamers do the same, right?

Right.

Elevators

Everyone in every big building always think they have shitty elevators. Thing is, i think elevators just break easily in general. I keep hearing the same kinds of conversations with elevators everywhere i go. The on at the apartment was down for a month, and before that probably once every week. (They recently got it fixed, we'll see how long that lasts.) The one at the old work was breaking down all the time. Today i got in the elevator here at new work with some pretty angry people. I just wanted to tell them, look, it happens everywhere you go. But I didn't. I just let them rant instead. I think they need that.

Just got a notice this morning...turns out my rent is going up. Oh joy.