Happy New Years Eve

Been listening to adele all day. I think i've gone through the cd 4 times already today. It's too bad her show at the wiltern is already sold out. With James Morrison no less! Would've been a great show. Sigh...

I made a coffee cake for tonight. I messed up on the crumb topping this time for some reason...because instead of crumbly goodness, it looks like little pieces of poop. Poop. What a shame.

I also just finished making some stuffed mushrooms...don't know how those are going to turn out. Not a good day for cooking it seems.

Boy, cooking is tiring!

I hope you all have a fantabulous new year's eve, and a wonderful year to come!

Ugh

I hate when I think I'm just going to run out for a few quick errands looking like crap, but its ok, its only for a few quick things here and there, and they turn out to be long ordeals through lines and traffic, and I run into MULTIPLE people I wished I had looked fabulous for.

And then I hate when I'm looking fabulous for no good reason, and I'm out and about, but my errands only take me 10 minutes, and I don't run into anyone that I can show off my fabulousness to.

Life is sneaky like that.

My hair is starting to do a funky thing that is not agreeable to me. Makes me want to cut it right off, and start the new year with a fabulous new do. But alas, its not time yet. Instead I'm hiding it under a few lame hats I have, not trying to be hat trendy, just trying to hide the weirdness.

The jury is in...

Got the final word from the actual source:


Hi.
I am doing a film now.
But I'm afraid your mom must mistake me with someone else.
I never do anything acting in China yet.
:p



yesssssssssss.

The latest on my $50

Decided to take things into my own hands....I just looked up the model, sent her a message via facebook. I hope she writes back soon. $50, here you come!!

Luigi Pizza Pasta

I was just going through some of my old posts, and I'd have to say, some of them are pretty darn good. Or, are they just good because I'm reading about my own life, and laughing at my own lame jokes? But I'm allowed to do that.

I hope you readers know that I try very very hard to write a good title. Something clever that sums up the post, or foreshadows a theme in the post, etc. Sometimes, i have to admit, they're not so good, especially if i'm in a hurry. But usually I take the time after a hearty post to come up with something good, for you, dear reader.

I'm finally back in LA from the OC. It's good to be back, amongst my own things. Besides, the OC gave me a zit for christmas, so, I was ready to quit it. Also had a lovely chat with my mother, who continues to remind me that I need to have babies. Because I am a...baby machine? Must've lost that memo. I can only handle one bump at a time, and right now, I need to handle this bumpy zit on ma face, ace.

Things on my mind this morning...

*Does Yoyo Ma ever get tired of people asking him to play the bach cello suites? I'm guessing no, because it's so pretty that he probably enjoys playing it over and over.

*It's amazing that my eyes can focus on foreground and background, whenever I tell it to. In focus, out of focus. In focus, out of focus. Now you're blurry, now you're not. I tried doing it without thinking too much about it, but soon realized that ultimately, my brain is the boss of me.

*When will I get to collect on my $50 from my mom? We are both 99% sure of ourselves, but still have not been able to find out for sure. Perhaps monday.

*What kind of person would I be today had I stayed in taiwan and grew up there instead? Would i be blogging in chinese? Or if i had grew up in france? I would definitely not be the person I am today. Or would I? It'd be nice if I could visit another version of this world and find out.

SH needs a new pair of shoes!

Somehow, i've entered into a bet with my own mother. One that involves money. She swears this actress on a chinese soap drama is one person, while i swear that it's not. I then asked if she cared to put $20 down. She raised to $40. I raised to $50. And there you have it. She tried to do some research on the internet and couldn't find anything to back it up. I think we're waiting til tomorrow when the show is back on to check during the credits. This is what boredom has come to. At least i'll make some money off of it.

Mind if i rub up on ya?

Merry Christmas y'all.

Today I came across two great pieces of information.

First, I found out that some dear friends are having a baby soon. Finding this out nearly moved me to tears. The first babies of a young couple are always exciting, for the couple who have always wanted to have kids. But I was always under the impression that they weren't planning to have kids, so I had tucked that little piece of information away in my head. And then to find this out was so...surprising and unexpected. But in such a good way. I think it really gives me hope, not necessarily for them or for me, but for the unknown. You just never know what's going to happen, as much as you plan, or don't plan for things. But things just happen, and sometimes they're shitty, and sometimes they're wonderful, like babies. (Babies who might share my birthday!) So here's to the new year and to the dozens of unknowns that come with it. I'll bear and grin through a few shitty things, if it means that i'll get a few wonderful things out of it.

Then, I found out that another dear friend spent a wonderful holiday with both her family and significant other. That's, TOGETHER, under one roof. That might not sound like anything out of the ordinary for some, but for me, to have people i love and care about get along and like each other is very important. There's also deeper points to this story for her and I that I won't get into here, but let's just say I was living vicariously through her for this event, and I'm so glad to hear that it turned out not just well, but stellar. Again, it gives me hope. Hope for good things to come.

I figure, if great things are happening to those around me, the excess will surely rub off on me, right? Let's just hope they appreciate all that rubbing up I'll be doing on them.

The British are coming, the British are coming!

And boy, they sure use some funny language. There's no meat in their mince pies, and blood pudding is a tasty treat for breakfast. Hm...yea.

And why is it that my british accent sounds so good in my head, but once transferred through my mouth into reality, it sounds like crap?

Scrooge McDuck

Something's been bothering me lately. I get that it's christmas time and all the charities are out and about, saving christmas for all the little poor kids. But it seems like everywhere i go, everyone wants you to donate toys.

"Give a kid a christmas this year, donate a toy."
"Get into the christmas spirit this year and donate a toy."
"Thanks to your generous toy donations, little boys and girls everywhere will have a christmas."

What are we teaching kids these days? That christmas=toys? These charities seem to be telling me that if kids don't get toys, then christmas is completely ruined! Whatever happened to just spending time with family, having a meal that's not boot soup? Maybe i don't really get this holiday at all. I totally get that gift giving is a large part of this holiday, and of course parents want to give their kids toys for christmas, I don't see anything wrong with that. What annoys me is when people want you to think that the holiday is completely ruined if kids don't get toys.

Someone who celebrates this holiday more than I do, please tell me: are toys really that important in making christmas?

What about the other kids who don't celebrate christmas?

Mmmmminty

Mint seems to be the official flavor of Christmas. I love that during christmas time, all the chocolates in stores have a minty cousin that visits. And there's peppermint mochas and mint flavored whip cream and well...I've yet to have some peppermint schnapps. I rhetorically asked myself why this was, but apparently did so aloud, because someone said, "Because mint is cool and reminds people of winter." Made sense to me!

Note to self: Addedum

Renew those damn library books!! No more fines on your card!! You just missed the due date by 35 minutes. DAMMIT.

Note to self:

I just need to chill out sometimes and be at peace with awkwardness in life. Awkwardness in my actions, Awkwardness with people interactions, Awkwardness in general.

Embrace it, know it exists, and move on. Breathe, and let go.

Just call me S-Lo

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it...

I'm still known as Ms. Lopez at the grocery store. Must...update...rewards...card!

I feel so CSI when they call me Ms. Lopez...like i'm living someone else's life, in order to figure out what happened to them. And yes, there is a Mr. Lopez in the picture. It's kinda nice to be faux married. I pretend like I'm going home to Mr. Lopez, to make him some Lean Cuisine, or some other type of dinner that sinGALs eat. (Wow, I just coined a term. Single gal=sinGAL. You heard it here first, ladies and gents.) On second thought though, my sinGAL grocery purchases might give my identity away!

After we finish our frozen meals, he's going to go smoke his pipe while smoothing his mustache by the window (Mr. Lopez just sounds like he would have a mustache), while I go off to my corner and stitch. And we'll make small talk about our day. He'll tell me about business things that I won't care for, but I'll smile politely about. And I'll tell him about the neighborly ladies that came and sat with me today, and relay the gossip of the neighborhood. He'll roll his eyes and disapprove, as Mr. Lopez does not care much for gossip. I'll then ask him whether he thinks my dress is smart enough for dinner at the Westerly's next week.

Ok, i need to stop reading books altogether. Or any books that make the voices inside my head read with an english accent.

Jolly good.

I'm cheating on you...

Yes, it's true. I recently bought myself a new journal, and began journaling, like I did before blogs were invented. At around the same time, I happened to find this book at the library by Anais Nin, called Henry and June. Basically her diary during the time of meeting these two people. So, i've been reading other people's diaries, and writing my own. Some things are just too personal for blogs. Maybe someday when I die, someone will find my journals, and publish them as well. Although I do have to say, they're not as insightful as Ms. Nin's. It's more of an exercise for me to organize my thoughts and remember what's happened in the past so I can learn from them in the future. The latest lesson? Articulate and Communicate. I'm still working on that one.

The other day I was at the store, and Christmas Time Is Here was playing over the loudspeakers. I thought everyone loved that song. I hear it and immediately think of my good pal Charlie Brown, and gives me warm feelings of Christmas. But not everyone seems to think so. As i was paying, the cashier sighed in annoyance.

"I hate this song," she said. But why, I asked. Everyone loves this song! "It's so depressing. And they're awful singers." She then mimicks the high pitched singing. "It's just horrible." I laughed, and went on my way. And as I listen to this song now, while I blog...she's right, it is quite somber and depressing. But I guess thats Charlie Brown. That's his schtick, and why I love him.

I watched SNL this weekend, and on one of their skits, someone mentioned that, in these harsh economic times, flirting is free. Why yes, yes it is. Although it might be more like credit, as in: flirt now, pay later. Depends on how you roll I guess. And that got me thinking...in these tough times, what else is free that you can give?

Hugs and Kisses
Genuine Compliments
Sing/hum/whistle a song
Friendship
Shadow puppet show
A great blog post
A firm handshake

What else?

Care to jump?

Today i discussed "jumping" with vonne over lunch. Jumping as in, screw the fears and doubts, and just jump in to what I really want to be doing. Always easier said than done. And then later, in the car, i started going over all the other times i've jumped in the past. And I realized that I've always landed pretty firmly.

In college i started as an econ major. That's ECONOMICS, yes you heard me. Even then i knew it didn't feel right (and yes, that was before I got the C in Intro to Economics...I can admit it now, but was horrified back then). It just seemed like something safe. And yes, having rob in my classes wasn't so bad either. **Nod wink poke....slobberrrr....** But thanks to a screening of Toy Story 2 at a small theater on campus, I finally figured out what I had to do. Jumping into the arts then was so daunting, full of what ifs and thoughts of "but i don't want to wear black all the time." Turns out it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I can't imagine being an accountant right now. No offense to accountants, I could never do what you guys do.

Lookey me now. I'm living quite comfortably and not out on the streets. It's been done before and I can do it again.

But still...for some reason that jump back then seems alot easier than the jump i'm about to embark on. It's easy to jump away from econ and the professor that i never respected. And not that what i'm about to do is such a jump anyways. More like a firm hop. But it still seems scarier than back then.

Still working through it all, but all's I have in my head right now is:

"...if you want more...More...MORE...JUMP!
For my love...JUMP IN! And feel my touch.
Jump, if you want to taste my kisses in the night then
Jump, jump, for my love."

Thanks pointer sisters. I do want to taste kisses in the night, so I will jump. Or, hop. Whatever.

Who's with me???

Prince Namor, The Sub-Mariner

It makes me sad that i'm using up all my superhero stamps on mailing my unemployment claims. Seems like such a waste. These stamps should be used on important, urgent notes, letters with messages of hope or loss, greeting cards for the unexpecting recipient, packages full of goodies. Instead they're going to some stuffy office that you can't even get through on the phone. These claims may even be opened by machine. Oh dread. Which means no one even gets to appreciate the superhero i've carefully plucked out and placed. I'm hoping that someone somewhere in that unemployment office notices mr. Sub-mariner, and that it brings joy to their day. Here's to hoping!

Christmas time is here...

It's amazing how we're already 9 days into December. I feel like thanksgiving was just last week. December's half over and I still can't get into the holiday spirit. I can't remember previous years, maybe I've just been a scrooge all this time. For records and archival purposes, I'll have to list myself as Scrooge for '08. Even after Charlie Brown tonight...he's usually pretty good at getting me into the holiday spirit: valentines, halloween...christmas. But this year it doesn't feel like the holidays at all, even though i see decorations all around me.

Breakups are tough, especially during the holidays. If only you could plan for them...but I've learned they just happen on their own. I've been doing a lot of thinking about things, especially being unemployed, I've got lots of time to do so. I guess i've just jumped ahead of the holiday season, and landed in new year mode, with all the self reflecting i've been doing. But they don't seem to be getting me anywhere.

Goings On

Lately I seem to get sick when I'm not working. And it always starts on a Tuesday for some reason...odd. This last one started with a scratchy throat, and turned into this THING. Now i'm spraying myself with nasty green colored chloraseptic every 2 hours. I have not spoken at all today except for a quick 5 minute phone call. And now i wonder if my voice exists at all....

Whew, its still there.

Today I was able to fill up my car for $20. Not too shabby. I feel like i'm back in college again. Ah, the good old days.

Last night, netflix informed me that i can watch movies on my mac. Oh what wondrous news. Another fabulous reason for me to become a hermit.

The last of my turkey sammich is calling me, i must depart.