Case of the elephants.

Boy, i haven't had time to do anything lately. The apartment's a mess, the tulips have died, my clothes are strewn about, i can barely find this keyboard i'm typing on. I can't wait til the day when i have nothing to do. When i can just sleep all day and wake up and eat and then go sleep some more.

But in all this busy-ness, i have had time to think. And this thought randomly popped into my head yesterday as i was driving into topanga canyon:

Carrie Bradshaw loves designer labels. But her wedding dress...the dress she ended up marrying Mr. Big in, was purposely a no name label. It just doesn't make sense! Or maybe it made some writer sense, something like, "when it comes to love you don't need labels." And I just couldn't get this thought out of my head at that moment. Why would the writers do that. They must've had a reason. Did they talk about it in the movie? Was it in the dvd commentary? I can't remember now, and I couldn't remember yesterday either. And i didn't know who to call to find out because I don't know anyone who loves the show as much as I do, who would care enough to know what the answer to that was in order to give me the answer and not think it was silly. Because i need to know, dammit.

Or i should just rent the movie again. I never need an excuse to watch a little carrie. (Which, btw, they stopped showing at midnight on the cw...without notice. This made me sad and a little angry.)

Omg omg

This huge thing just happened at work, but i can't talk about it. Or better yet, I shouldn't. But, OMG. I hope my friend is ok.

That which we call a rose...

Every once in a while, i seek out the opinions and advice of my readers. Things like, what color klean kanteen should I get? But today, dear readers, i come to you with an important matter.

My mom sent me an email recently about changing my name. I just now got stuck in a long conversation on the phone with her in best buy. She seems to think that I should have an aka name, one that i introduce myself as. Usually i shrug off her crazy ideas, but this time it's not so crazy.

"Hell, nice to meet you, I'm Sam."

(Think less of Who's the Boss, and more of Country Bear Jamboree)


Now before you think this is a crazy idea as well, try to put yourself in my shoes. I've often felt like people (teachers, employers, new acquaintances, hot crushes) have passed me off because they couldn't pronounce, remember, read my name correctly. And to save themselves the embarrassment of getting my name wrong, it's just easier to ignore me altogether. I've been through enough of these to know the signs. And sometimes it makes me a little self conscious. This hurt me a lot as a first grader at the local library in new jersey, when I should've gotten a prize for a reading program and instead went to my sister...long story.

Anyway, the idea of changing my name is not so crazy, because well, people just don't seem to get it sometimes, and often I'm one of those people too. Which is why whenever someone has an unusual name, I try to make it a point to remember.

But! The counterpoints.
When people do take the time to get to know me, they often love my name. It's unsual, it's unique (but it's very hard to spell...don't forget the dash). I wrote my college essay all about sticking true to my name, and to change it now would seem like i'm going backwards...like my college is going to evoke my diploma or something. And all the important people already know me as my current name, to change it now would be to change into a completely different person! It'd be easy if i was moving across the country, starting a new life. Changing a name wouldn't be so bad. But i'm not. And i'm probably going to stick around here a while...

Sure, it's easy to say, screw the ignorant people who can't remember you. Who say your name wrong even after you've said it for them 3 times already. Why do I have to change something about me to suit the rest of the world? Sure, it's easy to say that. I wish I was strong enough to carry it out. But when you actually live it it's a different story.

The funny thing about this is that my mom thinks my current name is too androgynous. It's too vague on a resume whether i'm a guy or a girl. I told her it works to my advantage...if people think i'm a guy and i get called for an interview because of it then even better, right? She didn't seem to agree. Little does she know that the name sam is pretty androgynous as well...but let's not bring that up.

Maybe I just don't make good first impressions. Maybe if i had a more memorable personality it wouldn't matter that my name isn't so memorable...

What do you think dear readers? If I were to do this it wouldn't be an overnight thing...it'd probably be pretty gradual...but still i wouldn't know how that would work. My first inclination is to dismiss it, and carry out my life spelling my name for everyone. But again...my mom does have some good points that I agree with.

Good think i'm having this identity crisis now, as opposed to later when i'm having my midlife crisis. One at a time, right?

Work is killing me.

I'm exhausted, and I can't seem to catch up on the weekends. I miss long deep sweet sleep. Last night I went to bed thinking about the horrors that awaited me this week, and had a mini nervous breakdown. I then ended up dreaming about working the whole night, and couldn't get into deep sleep all night. I woke up exhausted. I feel like an old woman. I feel like I LOOK like an old woman. Withered and weathered. I'm in a frump slump. Even today in my nice bow tie sweater I felt frumpy. I need to go to the gym, and some new clothes. Maybe some heels. But even the mere thought of heels exhausts me right now. Oh no...this is not good. I can't afford to be an old woman at my age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much needed post...

It's way past the time I want to be in bed but...I had some things to post about...three...from what I remember.

1. I started reading this new book from my used collection, and realized it had an inscription in it! I was so excited! It wasn't the most exciting of inscriptions though, but at least the book is good. The inscription says:

August 1991
Kathy - (the bestest drama coach)
Something to remember SF by. Congratulations on your show. Wishing you lifelong success.
Love, Jennifer

My question is, why would you ever sell a book that someone wrote an inscription to you...in? How is Kathy ever going to remember SF without this book? Lucky for her that SF is pretty unforgettable. But still. I'd always keep inscribed books. At least ones to me. I wonder if Kathy even read the book...

2. I saw my favorite character from my favorite show at coffee bean during my lunch break on friday, further proving the fact that this show and I have it in the stars...together. Whatever that means. Favorite character other than Rob of course, but he is new, and she is permanent. I saw her right away when i walked in, and turned around and gave steve my "omg" eyes, which he didn't catch on to and just gave me a weird look back. So I turned to gawk at her again, not really sure if it was her because she looked a little different, but then the barista called "Lucy" and she picked it up, and that validated my suspicions. I love star gazing at the grove! Of course...no one around knew who she was. Heck, at my age, I shouldn't really know who she is. But still, I love her character on the show.

3. How did daylight savings time get past me this year? It totally crept up unbeknownst to me until this morning, when a friend who was suppose to come over at 10am called me at 9am, already parking her car outside. Technology is so tricky...our cell phones were way ahead of the game and had adjusted the time for me, as well as her. She had no idea it was day light savings either! There was a long minute of confusion after I hung up with her, looked at my clock radio, looked at my phone, back at the clock radio, wondered if power had gone out in the middle of the night for an hour, back at the phone, then out the window, back at the clock radio....you get the idea. I was a confused and groggy bear this morning.

And then I turned into an angry bear after realizing I just lost an hour and didn't even have time to prepare for it!

And that, dear readers, are your three things I needed to post today. Thanks for reading.