Do the ice cream and cake.

Had dinner with B tonight. He took me out for an early early birthday dinner since he's leaving in 2 days and will be gone most of the summer. (And actually, I got to have my spicy ginger ale after all, with dinner, hooray!) I'm sure it'll go by in a flash, but for now it seems like a long time to be gone. He is about to embark on a new chapter in his life, and though I'm excited for him, it makes me kind of sad too. Who knows what will happen, him and T will have lots of discussions on this trip I'm sure, but change always takes a while to get used to. Especially when they involve good friends possibly moving away. He's been such a good friend for so long. I've learned a lot from him. If they have a kid, they should name it L, so together they could be the BLT's. I should tell him that.

I hope to stumble upon this post in two to three years, and be able to look back to tonight's uncertainties and be happy for where things have led him. Hopefully I'll still be posting blogs in two to three years.

Wow, I just realized, in a year and two days, I will have been blogging for 10 years. 10 YEARS!! That's a big freaking deal. That's longer than most friendships I've had, and 10x longer than any relationships I've had. That is wild. It's a big deal. I think even bigger than me turning 30. I must not stop now. Must keep blogging regularly so I can say I've blogged a long and full 10 years. At least for another year and two days. After that we'll re-evaluate.

Over and out.

All things considered...

Last night while I was going to sleep I suddenly had this idea. You know how people have a bucket list of 100 things to do before they die? I never made such a list. I think I tried to start one, and just never finished it. Well last night I suddenly wanted this to be on the list: I want to get mentioned on NPR. And not just the local npr, but the NATIONAL npr. That's right folks, I think big. Maybe it's an interview, or a photo I took that gets posted on their website, or an article I write, or something that I'm a part of that gets mentioned on npr, or maybe I am the story. But I'd love for Terry Gross or Robert Siegel to mention my name at some point over the air. That's a good goal to have right?

Ugh

I hate people.

Can't get myself to work....

So I'm looking at thread porn:

Music notes!!! It's got freakin music notes!! GAH. Oh baby. Oh yes.

And...back to work.

Wheeee!

Odd, my last post included the picture but not the text...

In any case, just got back from salsa class. Haven't gone in a while and kind of missed it. And now that F has fallen into the gf abyss of no return, I had to go by myself. I'd ask someone else to join me but I'm in level 2 (not to brag or anything.....but yeaaaa level twwwwoooo), and they'd have to start in level 1. So I go and watching the end of level 1 class, I suddenly got really nervous. Why am I here by myself? What am I doing here? But then 15 minutes into class, I was so into it, and by the end I was back in action!! Everyone was sweaty and hot but having fun nonetheless. Afterward, Alan and I practiced a little bit (have to write his name down so I remember) and I think we both got the steps down. I should go practice so I don't forget it, because it's a long time until next week. I was watching this girl dance while I waited for the next partner, and she got all her steps down and hand flourishes and was chewing her gum while doing it as though she was vacuuming or doing light dusting. I hope to be as light on my feet one day. For now, I still don't know what to do with my hands, even after the instructor has shown us. Actually, I think that's the great thing about salsa, is that there is always something to do with your hands, and when there's not, you do these hand flourishes. For now, I'm still concentrating on the footwork.

Annnnnnd...back to work. Sigh.

They're here!

Rough night

Last night was a stressful night of sleep. I went to the wrong airport and had less than an hour to get to the other side of town to the correct airport. And the busses shuttling people from one airport to the other kept giving me the wrong information and time was a wasting. And then something about trying to rent a car to get to the airport with only five minutes left. And then having to book a second flight because I indeed missed my flight.

Can you tell I haven't travelled in a while? I'm having panic dreams weeks in advance of my trip. This is not good.

I've also started doing some freelance work again on the side, except, now that it's summer time, it's hard to work when it's so nice and sunny out. And when there's an invite to the pool. And when so many activities are going on. Seriously, there's so many things going on outdoors now that it's summer time.

I learned from my barber today that hair grows faster in the summer time because you're getting more Vitamin D from the sun. So simple, so obvious, yet it never really occurred to me WHY my hair grows faster in the summer, I just knew that it did.

I gave myself half an hour to goof off before digging in to work....time flies.

Awesome Blossom

I have gotten back in the vicious cycle of being very critical of myself. Comparing myself to others, doubting my judgements, undoing what I spent the last 29 years trying to build up. It's not healthy, it's not good for me, I know this.

And then I was re-reading some of my old posts and just happened to come across one back in 07 where I reminded myself of my awesomeness. How fitting, to come across such a post right now. It made me realize that sometimes we just get into funks and need some reminding.

Last time, only Ms Parker played along, which I'm so very happy she did. And though I can't physically make my readers do anything, I'm strongly urging and pleading with you, please, play along with me and tell me why you're awesome. Last time it was only three. This time I'm asking for five.

Your assignment for this visit:
List 5 (or more) reasons why you're awesome. And Ms Parker: no repeats.

Thanks for playing along.

Oh, YAY!

After the scientific findings based on my last post, it has been deemed [by me] that we are all a little crazy. Hoorah! I'm happy to call you all friends.

As I came home tonight, I was lost in thought about how summer's here because the air is smelling like fresh watermelons when suddenly I was again accosted by Mr. Stinkers. I think we both caught each other by surprise. His tail looked ready to aim and he made several noises that made me think he tried to attack me with his stink but then as he ran away...nothing, there was nothing but the linger of sweet watermelons. This is as close as I've ever gotten, and he is quite adorable.

Bang bang.

Just now, when I was trimming my bangs in the bathroom, I suddenly had this vision of the sharp scissor getting too close to my eye with a careless flick of my wrist, and sticking into my eyeball, the way you'd stick a fork into a meatball to eat it. And then in my panic, I'd pull out the scissor and my eyeball would come out with it, and make a little suction sound, like when you snap your gum or make popping sounds with your lips. And then I wondered if without an eye, I'd still be able to make phone calls to dial 911, or if I'd be in too much pain to do so. Or! Would I even find the phone, because if I lose an eyeball and the phone is located on the edge of my lost eyeball's peripheral vision, I'd never be able to see it.

These are things I imagine and think about while trimming my bangs.

You don't want to know the things I'm imagining while I'm driving.

The Streamer Frock Grosgrain Giveaway

The Streamer Frock Grosgrain Giveaway

I don't usually do this, but Sara got me hooked on this site, and now the site is giving away this dress that I absolutely love. It's so perfect in so many ways. It really is her best one yet. Chances are slim that I will win this dress, but I'm already thinking of the jealous sighs of girls everywhere when I wear it around town. A girl can dream, can't she? Grosgrain, if you're reading this...please pick me!!! I promise I will take good care of your dress and show it off to the best of my abilities. Thanks.

Shoes. Omg! Shoes.

I always feel a little overwhelmed when I look at shoes. As much as I love girl stuff, shoes are not my specialty. They always look so tacky and odd-looking when I see them in stores. And then trying them on also make my feet look odd and tacky. Maybe because I have large feet. But then when I see them on other women they look cute and funky fresh. I just don't think I'm able to separate out each pair on its own. All I see is a cluster of...shoes.

Lately I've been a little concerned (obsessed) with keeping my current shoes clean. Mostly because...I can't. It's so hard to keep my shoes clean! I don't know how women who buy $500 shoes do it. Mine all have scuff marks and dirt and material is always coming off. I even bought shoe cleaner to try and clean them but it's not working so well. I guess I don't tread lightly.

However, today while getting a father's day gift, my eyes did wander just a little bit over to these. I've been eyeing Tom's shoes for a while now and today I tried them on and fell in lurve. I've been looking for a comfortable yet stylish pair of shoes to walk around in for my dc/nc trip in a few weeks, and this is the top contender. I was able to try them on in the store today and they were so comfortable. I love the wedge but the flats are probably more suitable for the trip. Unless I get both, but that would be pricey. These shoes I feel are pricier than they should be for the material, but Tom's whole philosophy is: for every pair you buy, they give a pair away to a needy child. I've watched a few videos of the CEO explaining his business model and it's a great idea. And I guess the idea justifies paying a little more for shoes. Or does it? I dunno, I'm still debating.

In the mean time, shoes.

The No Title Title

Today I spent 15 freakin dollars to pay my library fine. Usually you can opt to pay it in installments, but they won't let you check out books with a fine over $2. And they took only check or cash, no cards. And I had this book in my possession that I had carefully planned out my morning to get, and I didn't want to just let it go. So I paid the fine, the whole thing, with my last twenty dollar bill. :( Good thing I even had a twenty, otherwise I would've had to walk out empty handed. Then again, I probably could've used that $15 to buy a copy of the very same book to keep, at some book store. You win this time library fees.

Right before all this happened, I was just thinking about how much I love my neighborhood. Everyone that you pass by says hello. Even the guy running. Why, just this past sunday at the neighborhood birthday party, there was even a train taking the kids around the neighborhood. They waved. I guess this isn't a novelty, but it does take some time to get used to if you're coming from Hollywood.

Off to read my library book and call it a night. (NIGHT!) Ender will be on hold until indefinitely.

Ketchup

Currently: waiting for the water to boil so I can cook down some mung beans. Mung bean soup works great as a pimple reducer. Sounds grosser than it is, but can actually be quite tasty with some sugar.

I bought a basil plant. I love basil in the summertime. It just smells like summer. However, I'm running out of things to make with it. And knowing me, the plant will probably die soon, before I can use up all the leaves. I looked up recipes that call for basil, most of the results lead to some sort of basil/pesto sauce, which I also love. But alas, I do not have a blender. I don't really have much use for a blender other than to make pesto sauces, so it doesn't seem to be worth it. Also, it would be a whole other gadget taking up space in my little kitchen. If anyone has any easy recipes that call for basil without putting it in the blender, please send it my way.

Target is a dangerous place to go sometimes. Reaaally dangerous. They know it too. And now they're starting to have fresh produce. Which seems really weird. But it actually didn't look too bad.

I spent most of Sunday cleaning the house. In between that I had brunch at my favorite bakery, a stroll around my neighborhood's 100th birthday party, and watched the lakers game. But for the most part I cleaned. I vacuumed, dusted, mopped, moved furniture around, and sprayed bug spray around cracks and corners. So far, I have no new bites. But it's only day one. We'll see who wins this battle.

Also, while strolling around the birthday festivities, I decided to get an ice cream cone, which I haven't done in several years. I'm not a big fan of cones, so I always get my frozen treats in cups when I can. But this time around, I didn't even think to ask them to put it in a cup and the exchange happened so quickly that suddenly there was an ice cream cone shoved in my hand. It was a hot day and the ice cream was melting fast, so I started...well I started the effort to contain the melting mess, if you will. And suddenly I felt very self conscious having my delicious treat out in public. But then that guilt quickly turned into anger. Angry that the media has turned something so innocent and delicious into a sexual innuendo. That forever in my mind, the image of young girls with pigtails having an ice cream cone in the park will be followed by a pair of eyes across the street, belonging to a man. It's awful I know. I wish I hadn't watched Little Children when it came out. Great movie, just very disturbing.

In any case, all that anger just made me eat my cone quicker, and by the end of it all, I couldn't tell if I felt very sick to my stomach, or very happy from good ice cream. I think a combination of both.

I started re-reading Ender's Game. I found it odd that I have copies of the following 2 sequels but not the original, so this time I actually went to the bookstore to pick up my own copy, because it's the kind of book that everyone should own, and also because I wanted something small enough that would fit in my purses. Didn't want to ruin any library copies, since I tend to stuff my stuff. It's one of those books you get something different out of, every time you read it. Highly recommended.

What books are y'all reading this summer?

Do I wake or sleep?

There's this song I have in my music library that I love so much. It's not really even a song persay. It's a Keats poem being read with music behind it. From the movie Bright Star. Every time I listen to it I'm brought back to the world of that movie. I love when it randomly comes on in shuffle mode, after a little Kanye or some Ting Tings. It's always such a nice surprise. If I knew how to post audio I'd share it with you all, but I don't, and am not in the mood to look into it.

Ah, well, here it is on youtube. Not the greatest quality but please enjoy:


It's intoxicating.

Last night I went to see a Thao show. She's a pretty good artist too, y'all should look into her. There was a violinist on stage too, and that combined with the recent violin playing of Andrew Bird made me want to be back on stage again, amongst the mess and tangle of cables and cords and chords. I stood in the front row and watched as they set up, wondering how many squares of persian rugs are in stages across the country, and what percent of the persian rug business is musically related. There's always one on stage! And then I watched as the violinist played with such...such confidence and skill. Both of which I lack on my own instrument. I guess that's what practice is for. pancakes. Although it would help if I had some coaching. Maybe I should look into that again.

In the mean time, enjoy some Thao:

Es la verdad.

I just came home from a concert and realized that I am OLD. OLD OLD OLD. Young no mo. My youth, where did you go? You're not in the laundry, I looked, and all I found was an old dryer sheet. You're gone, and in your place stands tired feet and nonchalant humming. Goodbye, goodbye.

The Verdict

I love the Bird. He was so awesome. I can't believe I haven't seen him earlier. He's so up my alley! The whole violin and the whistling deal? That's so up my alley. And after seeing him, I know I still have far to go before my professional whistling career can take off. I thought I was good. But I need to learn how to be louder. I think I have the precision down. But I just need to have a stronger and louder sound. The Bird has taught me a valuable lesson. I wonder how one trains for a whistling career. I shall begin by playing "Eye of the Tiger" to pump myself up.

Onward and upward.

Ants in my pants.

I don't know why, but I'm just antsy. I can't sit still. I feel like I have stuff to do but can't think of what. I have work but I can't work on work. I'm restless and anxious. My legs feel like tap dancing even though I don't know how. I tried to go running earlier this week to work off the anxiety. It just made my legs hurt. (This time I drank some gatorade afterwards. I don't know if it worked, my legs still hurt.) Perhaps I need to channel this energy into a new hobby. Skating has fallen off the radar, sadly. I should go back. It's just that I feel like I can't get ahead in those classes. My poor skates, they've been neglected. Maybe I should take up boxing...like real boxing. None of that sissy aerobics boxing stuff. Maybe a trampoline workout? Hm...I think i'm on to something...

So I know a lot about life through movies rather than, well, life. Such as, everyone from small towns move to the NYC to change their lives. Not moving to the city because of things like oh, job relocation. But moving to NYC to start their lives, find their love, pursue the dream. I just had this thought the other day...I wonder how many people actually do that? And how many people succeed at it? In my life, I know of two. But they just kind of ended up there for other reasons. Chick flicks aside, I wonder how many people are doing that. Must be a lot right, if there are so many chick flicks based on it?

I'm antsy.

A dmv kind of morning.

I'm having a less than spectacular hair day today, and on top of which, I had to take my drivers license photo as well. However, I was able to hit 2 dmvs this morning AND get to work early. It was amazing.

I had to drive by, circle, park at the first dmv. Get in line for 10 minutes only to be told that what I needed was not being done there and I had to go to another dmv. So I had to walk back to the car, drive to the other one, and get in another line. Fortunately, lines were short and moved quickly at this second dmv so I was able to be in and out in 20 minutes. Amazing. Except I didn't realize I was taking a photo so now, for the next three years, I'll be stuck with a license photo from a bad hair day. Poop.

All this to renew the license that is about to expire on my birthday. Another birthday, another year, another sigh. I think I shall like to have a quiet birthday this year. I was so sure that I'd feel like an adult by the time I got to this age. But then again, I thought I'd feel like an adult in highschool and boy was I wrong (no thanks to Bev Hills 90210, the original).

Maybe if I'm ever married with kids and a house and job all at the same time I'll feel like an adult. If that day comes maybe I'll blog about it.

So long, vanilla bean dream!

Three day weekends are great, but they always throw me off. For instance, you start thinking that Tuesday is Monday. And because of that, you forget that Wednesday is street cleaning day.

This morning I woke up to what sounded like a knock. I brushed it off thinking it was just animals. But then I heard another. And this one woke me up for real. Then i wondered who or why would anyone be knocking on my door so early? I sat in bed for a while thinking it over, and then jumped out when I realized it was street cleaning day.

My landlord has these cronies. Ok, they're not really cronies, more like his workers. And a lot of times, they meet at the house. So it was one of them coming to warn me. Which I thought was so sweet of them to do. But by the time I was decently dressed and walked out there, they were all shaking their heads at me. "You missed her by two minutes! We tried to stop her." Her being the meter maid. But really, how nice is that of them to do? So neighborly.

Ultimately, I still got the ticket. I was thinking the good old days back in Burbank a parking ticket used to be $25. That is manageable. Not desirable but still manageable. And then I'm thinking that was a few years ago, inflation + a broke california proabably = $50 for the ticket. But nope. It was a freakin $60 ticket. Ugh, stupid california and its broke ass.

So yesterday I went shopping downtown with C during lunch. Downtown is suppose to have some good deals. She picked up a few things and I saw the most amazing dress, this dress I've been thinking about getting from online for a while now, what are the odds that they have it downtown? But I passed on it, not knowing when and where I'd have the occasion to wear it. And I thought, well if it comes up I can always go back and get it. But thanks to this ticket, the dress will not be purchased now. Are you happy california? Are you?

Ok ok, fine. It really is my fault for forgetting street cleaning day.

Here it is, so we can all ooooh and ahhh it:



VBD, that's really the name. How precious.

The science of talk

I'm going to a last minute Andrew Bird show on Friday, pretty exciting.  Except that it's with ex-coworker x, whom I've never hung out with alone.  X is nice, we get along fine, but we don't exactly know each other too well.  A few weeks ago coworker X and Y and I went to another concert and we had ourselves a good time.  Coworker Y was suppose to come to Andrew bird as well but turns out Y will be out of town and there is only one ticket left anyway.  Y and X are good friends, Y and I are great friends, and together the three of us would have a great time, but now that Y is (literally) out of the equation, I'm a bit nervous about going w just X.  And let me say that I'd be nervous whether X was a boy or a girl.  It's just that when I have to get to know a person one on one I feel more of a pressure to be "on".  Like I have to be charming and entertaining and tell great stories and oh! but what if they find out I'm really just a bore?  What if we have nothing to talk about?  This is just like ms parker's predicament with hiking and everyone bailing out.  

I don't feel like I'm socially awkward, just socially quiet.  Is that the same thing?  It bothers me sometimes but other times I'm ok with it.  It's funny to me how to some people I can seem like a social butterfly and to others I'm more like a wallflower.  I'd say majority of the time, wallflower.  I won't lie, im still trying to be ok w the wallflower part.  I'd like to think of it as "contemplative."  But whatever its called, someday someone will love me for it.  Until then, I have Andrew bird to go see.