Life

Big sigh.

Thanks #5: Cauliflower Soup

Today I am thankful for the introduction of cauliflower soup into my life. Hillzy made it for us the other night, along with a yummy yet simple pork sandwich, and I was in heaven. I love soup. Soupy soup soup. I love it to the bone. But I'm very particular about my soups. Who knew that such a simple soup made from a vegetable I've never liked that much could be so delicious? I've also had mashed cauliflower made to taste like mashed potatoes, and that was quite good as well. Cauliflower, you're a sneaky vegetable, but you're alright. In fact, you are quite delicious.

Valley

A slow panic set in today as I paid some bills and looked at my depleting account. The job I was suppose to start next week got postponed another week, and from talking to a coworker, it sounds like it's going to be a nightmare. It's just making me antsy because I want this job behind me so I can find something more fulfilling. But for now it'll pay the bills, so I can't really complain. But I probably will. It's just so easy to spend money you don't have when you have so much time on your hands.

But when you have time on your hands, cooking suddenly doesn't seem so time consuming (except when you're starving). I think I've made and eaten most of my meals at home this week, which I haven't done in a while. I've made three tasty recipes which makes me feel like an accomplished woman with gloves. It's also making me eat less (most of the time), so I can shrink the monster in my stomach back to pre-holiday gorging needs. It'll be too bad when I won't be able to keep this up when I start working. But I'm hoping my growing list of tasty recipes will help with some decision making at least. It's amazing that my job consists of making thousands of decisions but when it comes to what I want to eat, I can never decide.

A friend said to me today that 2012 is the year to take risks. I thought, heck, why not, I'm already 30, unemployed, I have nothing to lose. And also, the world is supposedly ending, so what better year to start taking risks right? I would like to take the jump, but I still feel like I have some preparations to make before the jump. But then again, is anyone ever prepared for risk taking? I guess it wouldn't be considered a risk then, if you're prepared.

I did apply for a job yesterday in NY. I guess that was some sort of a risk. But it was such a long shot of a thing that not doing it would've seemed lazy. I guess I'm just trying to be open to whatever opportunities are out there. Except, when I thought about how much of a long shot it was again this morning, along with my depleting account, I got somewhat discouraged and depressed at my upcoming prospects.

I'm hoping things will work themselves out, like they usually seem to...eventually.

Thanks #4

Today I'm thankful for things that don't seem to work out when you want them to but realize later that it led to something else that worked out much better later. I'm sure there's a word for that but I can't think of what it is right now.

For instance, to piggy back on thanks #2, had the burglary in my old apartment never happened, I would've never found my current wonderful apartment. Or is that just things working out on their own? I dunno.

I feel like most of the time things work out pretty well for me, from either me working really hard for something, or that I get lucky in a situation and they end up working out. Things like...my good parking karma. Skill or just good luck? Finding my apartment: good timing or good luck? Who knows. I just know that I've been in a few fortunate situations, so that is what I am thankful for today.

Thanks #3: Limbs

Today I am thankful for: my limbs.

I know that is a weird thing to be thankful for but I am SO thankful for it. My arms and legs, thanks for being there, and for working. Properly. I think this came from a time when I was younger and got hurt a lot more. There were times when I was bandaged up and couldn't get an arm or a leg wet in the shower. You know how hard it is to shower when you have to stick out a leg? Or when you soap up with only one arm? Well you can't really. And when those injuries happened enough, I always took the time to stop, and be thankful for the day when I would be all healed up and can lather with two hands.

You see people do every day things without limbs all the time. They paint, they drive. I saw this video of a really good looking guy with no arms or legs doing things you would never imagine. So I know its possible to live without them and life goes on. But I wouldn't want to. I'm too independent for that. I can't imagine having to rely on someone to wash me or feed me or clothe me. I hated asking for rides in high school. I like to live as a self sufficient woman. SSW, ftw!

Besides all that, I love my hands too much. I rely on them too much. I have urges. And no, I'm not going down that path. I just have these urges to create. Not all the time, but...a lot of the time. And it's always this deep seated urge. Like lately, I've been too static. When I get too static is when I feel the need to create. And when I can't think of anything, I end up cooking. To me that feels like creating. So I guess I've been doing some cooking lately. But I wouldn't be able to cook without my hands. It'd be hard. And I want to sew. And draw. And mold. And clean hard to reach corners that only my fingers can get to. And hold one pound weights. And play my violin, my keyboard, my guitar, my accordion. And type words into my computer for this post...

I am so thankful for my fingers and opposable thumbs and my arms and my legs and my feet so that I can wear my heels. Even though my toes crack whenever I walk across the warren's floor, I love them just the same.

And that is what I'm thankful for today.

Thanks #2

Today I'm thankful for: My awesome apartment.

About 2 years ago around this time, I was fighting my landlord over her lack of competency in dealing with the aftermath of my apartment getting burgled over the holidays. Finally, I decided to move. I didn't think anything of this apartment's listing when I saw it online. When I finally walked in, I thought it was nice, but something in me decided not to take it (that something turned out to be bad placement of furniture already in the apt). But when the landlord left, he didn't lock the place, so I went back to take a second look, and started seeing possibilities. I took pictures. Sure it was more than I wanted to pay, but still reasonable for all the amenities.

Two years later, I still LOVE my place to death. Sure, it's still not decorated (well, I did put one (1) thing up). Sure I still have one box that looks like it hasn't been unpacked. But I love my apartment. I love the amenities. I love the attention to detail that was put on this place. I love not having to share a wall (except with critters in the night). I love the neighborhood sooo much. I love that I'm in the back so, if people ever break in, they'd probably go to the front house first. Not that that's a good thing, but at least there's more of them there to call for help, unlike if they broke in and killed me, that'd be it. I love that I have an office like space and a living room space. I love that I can walk to coffee, bars, restaurants, the library, the post office. I love that trader joes is so close. I love that I have a little back yard with real actual fruit growing on the trees. The other day I actually went out and picked a real lemon to use for dinner. I love that my landlord is really cool, quick to respond, and lives close by for those few times I locked myself out. I love the houses on my street. I love that Hills and Chauncey live close by and that we've grown closer. Having good friends live close to you really makes a difference. I love that there is a farmer's market on sundays I can walk to. I love that LA people don't know where this place is (I'm talking about you, Santa Monicans!). I love that sometimes when I go to bed I can see the moon outside my window from bed.

Sure there are things that can be improved on, but for the most part, it's pretty perfect. I feel really lucky to have found this gem. And had I not been a single asian nonsmoking female with no pets, I probably wouldn't have gotten it. (The asian thing to blend in more with my front neighbors, so it doesn't look too obvious I'm living in a converted garage that is probably not too kosher with the codes. And female because the neighbors have little kids.) I'm trying not to think about the day I'll have to move for a job or something. From here I want to move into a house. This has been the most bestest apartment I've ever lived in. And for a homebody, that is a huge deal.

That is what I'm thankful for today.

Thanks #1

I'm gonna try something different...we'll see how long it lasts.

Today I'm thankful for my BFF who is currently in the hospital, maybe having a baby. BFF and I have known each other for a while now, and probably for the rest of our lives. It's nice to have someone like that in your life. Sometimes I wished we lived closer and had the same aged kids so that one of us can run out and run an errand while the other watched the kids. I know if I ever have kids I'm going to want a trusted babysitter (and watch her while she babysits so I know she's working hard). We've been through a lot together, and probably will go through a lot more. I love that we live completely different lives but still love getting together and sharing our lives. I know about her friends, she knows about mine. I probably have more pictures of her kids in my phone than any other person. Her littlest one picked out a christmas present for me. They play with me through barbie dolls when I'm not there. I'm so thankful that they don't forget me every time I leave. I could go on and on but I feel like we know our relationship so well that I don't need to. Besides, I'm gonna try to keep this series short and quick.

That is what I'm thankful for today.