Fantasy #24

Magritte and I are great friends. How we became friends in the first place is a bit unclear to both of us, since we are of completely different social circles. Him being an artist would never think twice to hang out with the likes of me. But he finds in me: a connection, an understanding of his ideas. I find in him: pure brillance. Thus, our friendship.

We are in Paris, sipping on our caffés. He normally doesn't like to come to Paris, he finds the city too bougie. But at my insistence, he agrees. He rings me at my flat which overlooks the city, and wonders to himself how I could ever live in such a city. He shakes his head in pity.

As we sit and sip, he tells me about his latest painting. I tell him he's used the umbrella too many times, though the apple looked delicious enough to eat. He smiles, taking in my criticism, and I smile in return, knowing he will do what he wants. We spend the next hour discussing different possibilities on the perfect title for another painting. I tell him about the latest song I am writing, and he gives me suggestions for lyrics. All the while, a gentle breeze blows across a perfect spring afternoon. Before we know it, the day is over, and it is time for us to part, with promises of meeting up again real soon.

The End.

Tonight I said goodbye to a dear dear friend of mine that is moving away. He is moving up first to start a new job while she stays and looks for a job, sell their home, etc. So there was no finality. No grand goodbyes. He'll be back soon to move them both up, a party will be had, and so on and so forth. It's not really the end End. Unless we keep telling each other that to make ourselves feel better...

So we went and had dinner, went back to their place, then I said goodbye as I do everytime I'm at their home, and when I left, it almost felt like a typical night out with them. Until a few steps later, when it hit me again, and tears welled up as I quickly walked to my car. Sure I'll see him again. And she'll still be here for a while. And they won't be TOO far away. But I just know it won't be the same. My dear friends, my married couple of fun, strength, love and friendship, will soon be gone, and our relationship - though it will still be there, won't be the same. I guess proximity does really bring people together. These are the changes I don't look forward to. 3 Extra weeks of daylight savings time? Yes. Good friends moving away? No.

I want to be a LION, but most times I am a mouse. And I don't even like cheese. I want to be strong, ferocious, fearless, QUEEN of the jungle....instead, I fret and eat my pointless cheese. Today I realized I fret too much. Ok, that's a lie. I KNOW I fret too much. I've known. I'm what they call a worrywart, whoever they are. I hate them.

Today I almost signed myself up for a year of who knows what. I was <-> that close to putting money down for an apt. But at the last minute...more like half hour ago, I backed out. It just didn't feel right, as much as I wanted it. I went back and forth all day about whether my hesitation was due to fear of change. Though it makes me uncomfortable, I am welcoming change right now, I'm open to being open. So if it wasn't that stopping me, and since I couldn't quite point my finger on what was, I opted out. The whole day I fretted back and forth. Yes or no. No then yes. Yes and no. Now I feel better. Plus, it was as if my yahoo horoscope knew what I was going through! It said not to rush into a decision today. Of all days I could've gotten that message. But it was delivered today. What would I do without yahoo horoscopes to tell me how to live my life??

Changes are coming. People moving hither and thither. The weather. The daylight. Lots more to come, I feel it.