Yesterday on the radio they were making fun of Nicole Kidman because she's afraid of butterflies.

All this time, I thought I was the only one!

There's just something about butterflies that doesn't sit right with me. They just give off a very evil sort of presence, but it's hidden behind their pretty little wings. It's kinda like how bugs are attracted to the zapper. The light seems so alluring, so beautiful, but once you get up closer, ZAP! You're dead. It's just like a butterfly. They seem so pretty, fluttering hither and thither. But once they attack,

ZAP! You're dead.

Ok, so it's not really like that. But it's kinda like that.

I like to feel as though I'm ahead of the game. I'm on to their butterfly secrets. I know them for what they really are: pure evil, while the rest of the world is completely oblivious, drawing them with crayon and tattooing their images on the body. But I know better.

And what about the ones with the eyes on their wings. Ew, creepy. Especially when there's a swarm of them on the trees. If I ever get caught in a butterfly storm, I think I would seriously start crying, in sheer terror.

AMEN.

Whoa! What is going on?

I feel like my blog woke up this morning and decided to recruit itself some readers. So this is what happens when you leave a blog alone for a couple days. I guess my wish of going national/international came true!

But really, how did my audience jump from 3 to 13? I still can't figure out that part. However, I'm enjoying the comments, thanks! I am quite confused, but so very appreciative.

That aside, let's get down to business.

Things I've learned over the past week:

1. Blanket covers are not called blanket covers.
Apparently, they are called "duvets." And no, not just "duvets," it's not that simple. Being a derivative of French, the word "duvet" has the fancy French pronunciation: Du-vay. Never again will I make that mistake, Ms. Aisle Number 6: Bedding. Thanks for saving me from a lifetime of embarrasment.

2. "No cuts, no butts, no coconuts."
I knew better in 4th grade. Cutting in line back then was a big no no. I forgot that very important lesson last night at the grocery store. I met up with Mitch there, and by the time we got in line, I realized I only had 2 items, while he had....a basket full. So I cut in front of him. Later, he informed me that the checkout lady told him he was a special customer who won a $10 gift certificate. It could've been mine, had I not cut in line.
Let this be a very important lesson to all of us.

3. You may not have control over certain situations, but you have control over how you react to them."
I definitely agree, but it's still something I need to work on. I tend to overanalyze and overreact in certain situations, causing myself unnecessary stress, and giving myself unnecessary grief when I should really just move on.


There you go. Three things I've learned this week, which I am now passing along to you.

May you learn from my ignorance.

And yes, I do wear a helmet.

When will this impetuous rain ever stop?

The rain is creating havoc in socal. For instance:

Today it took me an hour to get to work. My car and I were moving at the speed of a mule. I blame the rain.
Today it smelled like a dead rat in the women's bathroom. Don't ask me how I know what dead rats smell like. I blame the rain.
A few minutes ago, there was a loud gunshot like noise near my apartment. Everyone got out to figure out what it was. Our community of single apartments bonded over a gunshot that turned out to be just a transformer blowing up. I blame the rain.
My socks are wet. I blame the rain.
I can't ride my bike. I blame the rain.

I think the rain can hear my blogging, because it just started pouring like mad. Alright alright!! I didn't mean it!!

****
I've been watching movies. Eternal Sunshine and Life Aquatic come to mind. They're different. I like them. It's been a while since I've really enjoyed a movie. That makes me wonder...at school I majored in film. I came out here to be a part of films. And somehow I ended up where I am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I enjoy my job. I love the people I work with. I feel lucky to even have the kind of job I have. There's really not much for me to complain about. But every once in a while, I start thinking about why I'm doing what I'm doing, and what I want to do. Oh that dreaded question. "What do you want to do?" It's been haunting me ever since highschool. I was hoping by the time I graduated I would know the answer to that question. Well, I do know the answer, I guess I was hoping I would know a different one. The answer is: I DON'T KNOW.

It's like the opening scene in Reality Bites where Winona Ryder is making her speech and she loses her note cards, and her answer to this big question was: I don't know. And the whole crowd cheered for her for having such a wonderful answer to such an important question. Well, where's my cheering section, dammit? Everytime I'm asked that question, and I answer with "I don't know," I'm always secretly hoping for some magical crowd in a corner ready to burst into a standing ovation. And then I can walk across the stage, receive my diploma, throw my hat in the air, and go make out with Ethan Hawk.

So much for that.

In life, the "I don't know" answer always makes me sound incompetent and maybe even a little ditzy. The real answer to them is, "If I knew what I wanted to be doing, I'd be doing it. Or at least going through the necessary steps to get there." Is it so bad that I don't know what I want to be doing? Why would I want to put myself in a corner by giving a definite answer to that question if I want to do and experience everything? There's just so much out there.

But I guess there is a reason behind asking the question. I'm guilty of it myself from time to time. People need direction. Some sort of road map. And answering that dreaded question puts you closer on the map. Or something like that.

One day, I'd still like to become a professional whistler... No one would take me seriously if that was my answer to that dreaded question. But I could either be the next Gwen Stefani (of the whistling world), or I can get sick of it after a month. Who knows? Who ever knows what will happen? So why answer such big questions?

This blog blows.

Holy Cow.

I had no idea Alias was this good. Why didn't anyone tell me sooner? I've already missed what, 2, 3 seasons? Not only is it action packed and engaging, Jennifer Garner is always dressing up in really hot costumes. Boy am I late on this bandwagon.

In other news, I forgot I had 13 going on 30 added to my queue, and it just came today, so I get to watch more Jennifer Garner!

All my plans to take my blog international have now been upstaged by somebody else. Tonight, I'll cry myself to sleep.

I'm obsessed with looking for funiture on craigslist. I need a couch. My apartment is in a constant state of ambiguity due to a lack of furniture. Well, let me correct that, a lack of the proper furniture. I'm at odds with the apartment that is missing a solid foundation with which to begin a proper relationship; that is, a couch. Does my tv go on this wall or that? Depends on where the couch goes. Does my bookshelf go on this side or that? Depends on the couch. What will be the theme/color of my living room? Depends on the color of the couch. So many things are dependent on this couch i don't have.

And the fact that I just blogged a whole paragraph on my materialistic needs while thousands of people are without homes on the other side of the world puts me to shame....Must find a proper charity to donate some money to...

Is it just me, or is it everyone? I'm having trouble enjoying certain things these past few days. Sometimes i'll forget, but every once in a while, I'll remember, and feel guilty for enjoying something while thousands of people can't.

Less complaining, more appreciating.

Alas, it is once again, the new year. A time when people reminisce on the past year, make resolutions for the coming year, and all that bullshit. Well, since you didn't ask for it, here it is, my

TOP TEN SNIPPETS FROM BLOGS OF 2004:

January 19, 2004
In reference to canceling free cable:
"So goodbye, Real World San Diego. Now I'll never know the ways to party it up down there. Goodbye queer guys, oh how i'll miss you and your gay ways. Goodbye Carrie, and the rest of the girls, whom I never got to catch up with during this short time of cable bliss. And soon you and your sex will be gone forever, perhaps only to be rented out at the local video store in chronological seasons. Goodbye MTV music videos all day everyday. My love for you is like whoa."

April 13, 2004
"So i was at the bookstore with steve the other day buying a magazine when the lady handed me my change. I quickly glanced at my quarters and saw that in my pile of change, i had a michigan! And stupidly i yelled out "MICHIGAN!" a little too loudly only to realize too late that i'm suppose to be yelling out stuff like this INSIDE my head, not outside. The lady chuckled at me, i tried to make a joke of it, and was quickly escorted out by steve, who, being the good sport he is, is still my friend despite my embarrassing outbursts."

July 26, 2004
"Are real nerds ever really aware that they're a nerd? My theory is, if you have enough awareness of your nerdiness, then you are aware of your actions. To me, there are several levels of nerdiness, and a real nerd is one that is not aware of how others perceive them. Unless, you self-proclaim yourself to be one in order to fit in with the counter culture folks. Y'know, those who wish to be unconventional and unorthodox in their ways. So if you realize you are a nerd, maybe you're really not a nerd? But if you are a nerd, and you want to counter those who go out of their way to be unconventional, then aren't you really just plain conventional? In one word...normal?"

August 19, 2004
"Isn't it ironic that my initials, SH, coincide with the same initials as Straight Hood? Coincidence? I think not."

August 22, 2004
ALL OF IT

August 23, 2004
"My car, my lovely white corolla with the noise in the back, my place for solitude and safe haven is now SUFFOCATING ME to death with its scent. Everytime i get in my car i'm reminded that it has a new smell. And it's ok for the first 10 minutes or so when i first get in the car. After that, i start getting a headache! I'll either have to roll my windows down, or turn on the ac, but both just makes me cold. While innocent in name and intentions, i do believe this baby powder scent will be the death of me. As much as i love baby powder, whatever that poser scent is in my car is suffocating me, and perhaps i should've gone for the new car smell. I can't even cruise the right way now that i'm so nauseated by this baby powder. Damn you baby powder! I shake my fist at thee!"

August 31, 2004
"People should know when they serve desserts a la mode, that the pastry to ice cream ratio should be equal, if not include more ice cream. Yet, theres always only one scoop of ice cream. What's up with that? Especially if you're sharing...that brings your ice cream ratio down 50%. You would think that it would also bring the pastry ratio down 50%, but for some reason, it just doesn't seem to work that way. So when you're sharing, like we were last night, you just don't get as much ice cream as there should be with such a dessert. I just think people generally like their dessert with more ice cream than pastry. Am i right?"

September 7, 2004
"I once heard someone somewhere say that they really enjoy a nice pair of pants. Perhaps it was in a movie. I'm not really sure where i heard it, but when i did, i felt like i couldn't agree more with another person on a statement. Abortion, religion, politics, these are all things i can get in debates about for hours on end. But enjoying a nice pair of pants? To that i can't say anything more than "Amen, brotha."'

September 21, 2004
"Today i realized i've been with my blog for over three years now. (Don't tell my blog, but i think we're getting serious.) We don't see each other all the time, just when i feel like it, which i think is a nice balance in this sort of relationship. But i'm starting to get a little too attached. Sometimes i blog in my head when i don't have a computer around. (Especially in traffic.) And i tell myself to remember my headblogging but i usually never do. I always come back to this blog. So even when i try to cheat on my blog i can't actually go through with it. I think this is that time in the relationship when that darn four letter word enters the relationship...

i BLOG you."

September 30, 2004
"Orchestra is cool because its the only place you can say "ritard" without offending anyone."

"I'd like to end tonight by reminding you of an old saying in Tennessee, i know its in Texas...probably in Tennessee: " Blog me once, good for you. Blog me twice...great for me."