This very early morning, at about 6am, I happened to witness the funniest thing on the morning news. They showed a clip of this little monkey, dressed up in cowboy gear, riding a dog like a bull. This monkey dude had chaps. CHAPS! I thought the only people who looked good in chaps were hunky beefcake cowboys and Christina Aguilera, but I stand corrected. Monkey looked good in his chaps. And he was waving his little cowboy hat in the air as the dog went crazy like a bull on crack, tossing the little monkey hither and thither. Ahhhh man....something so funny should not be allowed so early.

So today was another adventure in the city of the angels, as i tried to trek across Hollywood to Santa Monica and back to Hollywood during traffic. Got lost once, took a potty break once (thats how long it all took!), and paralled park once. They should call it the city of devils....thats what traffic feels like...THE DEVIL.

I've been missing all my American Idol episodes this week...boohoo. These first couple shows are the best ones, and then once the competition really starts....well, thats when it gets boring. Oh well.....less TV is good for me right?

So it gets really scary when people out of nowhere tell you they read your blogs (this means you, Bright). Not that I don't want people to read them, i do. And i actually appreciate people who appreciate my blogs (thanks Bright!). Thats why its out here. But, its just scary not knowing who is reading your blog other than the customary 2 regulars (this means you, Smith and Staff...and maybe a couple others once in a while). So all you mystery blog readers out there, please, just show yourselves. Write me an email and tell me you're out there. Maybe i can even write about something you'll be interested in, once i know who my general audience is. Hm....but maybe i don't want to know....hold up....

...thinking....

Ok, you know what? I can't decide whether or not i want to know who my readers are. So just hold off on your emails for a while until i figure it out, ok? Thanks. Especially to any oklahoma readers out there (not that i would even presume this would travel that far...)....Oklahoma is a-OK with me!

Ok, so what if that was lame. So sue me. buggah.

I smell hints of it through the breezes in the air: summer.
Is it possible? It's not yet February, but already there's wafts of sweet summer lurking under my nose.
Oh my nose...my nose that is currently adorned with a coat of red glow from too many attacks by unlotioned 2-ply tissues, but nonetheless, still necessary for combatting that annoying and incessant moisture that keeps convening there at the end, as if to remind me that it is still winter, despite what the Gap has out on their oh so pastel shelves...oh my nose.

So this was my second year going to Chinatown and coming back turtleless. I've always been so tempted to buy those pairs of turtles they have in the gift shops all over chinatown, but every year i leave empty handed. Perhaps next year, i say to myself. But really, i start thinking about a turtle's life. What is the purpose of a turtle's life, as cute as they are? They're boxed in these tiny tiny plastic pet aquariums, swimming in a centimeter of water and a few green miniature rocks. What would I be able to provide for these turtles? A better life? But what's a better life with no purpose? How would i ever know what their purpose on earth is? To be able to take home 2 cute turtles but end up leaving them in an environment with no real purpose seems a little sad to me. And then i think about the zoo and all those animals locked up in there. Do i want to support that by boxing up two turtles of my very own? Or would i be setting them free? Free from the oogling of daily tourists. Or maybe they like having different kinds of visitors everyday? All i would be able to give them is my gi-normous face peering into theirs everyday. And that could get kinda tiring for anyone, let alone turtles.
So...i left with no turtles, and too many thoughts in my head that i have still yet to figure out. Maybe next year?

It's saturday once again. I'm doing a little bloggin before my parents come pick me up. We're going down....to china town!

Just a side note: NEVER have someone read your blogs outloud in front of you. It's quite embarassing, and you'll want to just crawl under your covers and stay there. Not that you would read this, but you know who you are.

hehehe.........suddenly i had a mental image of cady and a cheese mask. looks good on ya baby!


Mmmm........i just got a white chocolate chip cookie from someone in the office. It's thick and loaded. Yummmmmmmmm.

So, its such a nice day outside and i'm stuck in here, in an office, bloggin. I'd rather be outside, lying underneath a huge oak tree, chewing on a stick of straw, trying to make animals out of puffy clouds.

moo....there goes the cow....

Aw...reading cady's blog, i am reminded of the fun days at muir woods. I think that was my favorite job of all time. There's not much i'm good at, but i think i can safely say i was damn good at making a latte, or any caffeinated beverage that we sold there. There was good music, great people, and of course, coffee, at muir woods. It was like the Peach Pit, or The MAX, or Sharkey's of our generation. And once in a while, a cute boy would come in. Yay! Followed by their girlfriend! Boo. Or who i thought was the girlfriend! Yay! But turns out to really be just a friend cause cute boy is gay! Boo.

Ok, i just made all that up. Not the muirwoods part, the cute boy walking in part. I mean yea, they would come in once in a while. But it was all good. Muirwoods was not about the hookups. It was about harmony...peace...and a very legal substance called caffeine! Oh how i loved muir woods.

I watched Mona Lisa Smile last night. And it wasn't half bad. At least not as bad as the trades and reviews were making it. But then again, i am a sucker for chick flicks. It was a cute little movie with lots of cute women, who can complain? And it wasn't too cheesy either.

Tonight: The Last Samurai. Oy...that'll be hard to sit through...

So i read this article today about Mel Gibson's new movie, and what the pope thought about it. They mentioned that the pope screened the movie at "his apartment." That's when i chuckled. I suddenly had an image of an old guy dressed in white with a little cap on his head, sitting in a green lounge chair with a remote in his hand, watching Mel Gibson. Then i wondered, why is the pope living in an apartment? He's the pope for pope's sake! They couldn't have put him up in a house? Or a condo? All he gets is an apartment? I live in an apt! Unless in rome, apartment means great big mansion...? Anyone? Anyone?

So this chimp decided to escape from the LA zoo today. I wonder what he must've been thinking as he hopped the fence. Is he happy in his jail cell among his other chimp playmates and just decided to be mischievious for the day? Or was this escape his social comment on the inhumane institutional practices of the present day human species? The world may never know. So I salute you, Mr. Chimpanzee Escaper-er....Real Monkey of Genius. May you have more luck in future attempts...after you come out of your tranquilized coma, of course.

And alas, our cable is no longer. I never got to take full advantage of this fleeting luxury we had. I did, however, sit on my ass for more than 2 hours catching up on episodes of the Newlyweds this weekend. Watching that show for the first time, I was quite disappointed. But i still manage to sit through 2+ hours of it. Damn that MTV and their marathon tactics! They just play episode after episode, one right after the other. They are so sneaky. To the point of smarmy, they is. Why I oughta...

Anyway, so last night the cable was acting up, and continued through today. So already it was unwatchable. I go to the Style channel only to find something from the Food channel. I go to a movie and it gives me Soul videos. It was a mess. And a large percentage of the channels were not working. So i decided to call up Adelphia to cancel...and to my surprise, they said that to avoid paying fees, I had to cancel today, as opposed to the end of the month as I anticipated earlier. And because it wasn't working anyways, I decided to go through with it today, rather than having to risk paying more fees.

So goodbye, Real World San Diego. Now I'll never know the ways to party it up down there. Goodbye queer guys, oh how i'll miss you and your gay ways. Goodbye Carrie, and the rest of the girls, whom I never got to catch up with during this short time of cable bliss. And soon you and your sex will be gone forever, perhaps only to be rented out at the local video store in chronological seasons. Goodbye MTV music videos all day everyday. My love for you is like whoa.

In brighter news though, the new season of American Idol is tonight. If only we can get the regular channels working again. Damn you cable! I knew you were no good from the start.

On a sidenote, ye old webpage is back in action in a new home. Still the same old webpage, but if you haven't seen it, it's new to you! And if you have seen it and then forgot about seeing it, seeing it again will still be new to you! Either way, its a win win situation really.*

*I love the way my logic works. If i say it works, then it works, even if it doesn't really work. Which is why, Penano, if you're reading this, our bet is still on. I've tried thinking about it, and something about it doesn't quite make sense, and it makes my head hurt trying to make it make sense. But because it is my logic, I say it makes sense. Unless you can prove to me that it doesn't make sense, it's on. Ohh.....it's still on alright. It's already been broughten.*

And with that, ladies and gentlemen....I bid thee adieu. To yeu and yeu and yeu.

Ohhh, i haven't eaten all day. And if you know how I eat, you'll know that's a big thing. But i just haven't been able to stomach anything. I can't wait til i can sink my teeth into something juicy once again. Mm.....juice. Maybe i'll get some juice...

So cable is not all that it's cracked up to be. So many channels....but really, nothing's on. I have been able to catch up on some of my music videos though.

Ooooh.....so hungry.

Ok world, its once again to get back into bed. Hopefully i can eat again tomorrow.....before my stomach eats me! Goodnight!

Being sick is no fun. Not that anyone ever said it was, but you really don't realize how bad it is until it happens to you. Your body aches all over, you're nauseous all the time, one minute you're sweating cause you're so hot, the next minute you're freezing cold. The bed is your only friend.

Ok, thats enough whining from me. Let's move on.

CABLE. We got it, its here. (for a month.....but at least its here) So far I haven't been able to enjoy it. But perhaps after this blog I'll go veg myself in front of the cable. So many channels.....how do you pick?

Oh, i know, lets talk about my boy Milo. MILO! I guess he never did get his own show, cause now he's coming back to the old one. Hooray! I never did send my stalker-esque fan mail to him. It's just sitting on the side of our fridge. Maybe someday...

I really like Jason Mraz, despite his annoying appearance. One of these days i'll have to go see him live again. I haven't seen Ozma in a while either....

Ok I can't think anymore....back to bed for me.

It's 12:30am. Tomorrow morning, we're getting free cable for a month. Woohoo! I'm too tired to think about all the consequences and hassels that come with signing up for a free trial. I'm just gonna go to bed and dream about what i'll have by tomorrow: the queer eye guys! Hooray!

Damn right, its better than yours!

My blog, that is. Mr. Smith should put a blog up himself, so i can have something to read now that cadybug, the only regular blogger, is on vacation. It's really not that difficult. "I can teach you, but i'll have to charge." Ha ha. I kid, i kid.

Suddenly i have a craving for milkshakes...mint oreo ones...mmmmm.........

I'm still trying to figure out what the milkshake song refers to. My brother tells me one thing, but i think its another. He might be right though, who knows.

Hear ye, hear ye.......anyone out there know about Macs? If so, please contact me. I'm looking to get one soon.

Oh yea, Mr. Smith also accuses me of lying because contrary to my Blog title: Daily Banterings, i do not blog everyday. To those who side with him, I now would like to direct you to my archives. It's right there, to your left, at the bottom...just scroll down!
"If you haven't read it, its new to you!"

It feels like somethin's heatin' up...

Ok ok, after all the prodding by Mr. Smith, I will now blog.

Blog.

So you want to know whats new, do ya? My best friend just got married, thats what! Mr. and Mrs. Warren should be returning from their honeymoon in SF tomorrow. The bride was beautiful, and the groom was handsome, as expected. The weather was perfect down in SD by the temple, aka, my old hood. Although, the rain put a damper on things once we got back to OC. What sucks even more is that the next day, it was sunny and beautiful.

So, right as the couple came out of the temple, it suddenly hit me that they're actually married. But that realization quickly disappeared as the day went on. By the time the reception was underway, it just felt like a big party of sorts. Kinda like prom, if you will. I don't know whether it'll hit me again or not. Maybe when i see that they're actually living together...? Who knows.

In other news, i got a haircut. The day after the wedding, Saturday morning, just like I've been saying i would for about 4 months. It's not as great as my last haircut. Man, i loved my last haircut. I just want to bottle it up and save it forever. Oh well.

So its the new year. I spent new years eve in bed. No, not getting action. I was trying to sleep off my fever and my burning sore throat. Sad, ain't it?

I've come to the realization that my older blogs are much more entertaining and amusing than my recent blogs. It's cause i'm getting old. Once you get old, everything reverses. It's just like how back in the fourth grade, i thought i was the best speller ever of all time. But now...oh its sad. Now i can't remember if its "recieve" or "receive" unless i write it out, or say the little "I before E except after C" ditty silently in my head. Sad sad day.

I will now take this time to publicly thank Christine and Chris for getting me the Coldplay Live dvd. I haven't been able to watch it til today due to trips back and forth to OC and wedding stuff and holiday stuff. But to be able to watch that Mr. Martin gyrating on his piano is a real treat, not to mention being able to watch it over and over and over and over again! Damn that Paltrow for taking him away before he was able to meet me.

Cadybug, i hope you are having the time of your life on the shores of paradise. One of these days, i hope to be there too.

Oh yea, attending the whole wedding thing reminded me: I'm never getting married. And if i do, i'm never having a wedding. And if i do, its because i married some rich millionaire that hired a personal wedding planner (I wonder how much JLo goes for these days...) to plan the wedding, and i wouldn't have to lift a finger except to toast my ass off with champagne. And if i can't, then i'm eloping. Please send all gifts c/o Szu-Hua Wang. That's right. Wang. Cause my last name is damn cool, even if the Simpsons use it to reference male genitalia from time to time. (And really, how many times do they use Taylor or Smith or Kim? Nunce!) Anyway, a salad spinner would be cool.

**NUNCE is a registered trademark of SH. Combining the word "none", and "once," it is often used by SH to refer to something "not even once." Someday it'll be in the dictionary, with SH's name next to it, so don't even think about ripping it off. However, occassional borrowing is allowed to place emphasis when proving a point or settling an argument in front of worthy adversary, at which time, said adversary would be overcome by shock of such a well crafted word that worthy adversary would, at that time, concede to any prior arguments, allowing the user of the word "Nunce" to come out victorious.**

So Jamie and I made a bet as to who would get married first, allowing a 3 year leverage either way. I said 30 for her, she said 29 for me. This means, if i get married before 26 and after 32, i get $150. If she gets married before me, i get $150. If I don't get married at all, i get $150. To me, its a win win situation. Hooray!

As i sit here, i'm having a coughing fit, spreading germs and other yummy things into the air. At least my voice is coming back. I'm gonna go have a ricola and chug some tea. Hooray ricola! Hooray beer!

Gentlemen, goodnight.
Ladies...........good morning. ;-)