Orchestra is cool because its the only place you can say "ritard" without offending anyone.

Thats about the only thing going for orchestra right now. I'm this close to calling it quits. The conductor dood still hates me. I still suck. It's like my fingers are broken or something. And then i find out that everyone's not in it for the love of music. Of course, everyone says they are, and they may even mean it, but there is dirty money involved. Ok ok, so its not actually dirty. It's probably a nice chunk of change. But who knew people get paid in orchestra! Now that i have this knowledge, i feel like the whole thing's been tainted. We have a concert next week. I'm thinking of not showing up. I just don't feel like a part of this group. But if i don't show up, i may be proving to the conductor guy that i'm a flake. In which case, i do want to show up, just to prove him wrong (yes, i'd still love to confute him...is that the right word? i do love to confute...). But if i'm not wanted? It's not like i'm playing so well that i'm adding to the group's overall quality. In fact, i may be bringing it down. Who knows. I guess it'll be a last minute decision.

Thanks for the new comments. It's nice to know i have readers. Mendacious are you who i think you are? And yes, the valley has traffic. But because of its wider streets, the ratio of cars to road space is not as intimidating or annoying as the city. And finally, Bruckner is Bruckner. He's quite an interesting fellow, and though he is a heartless quarter taker, in all seriousness, i find it a shame that not everyone is as lucky as i to know this incredibly cool individual. Maybe one day you'll see me reading one of his books as you pass me by on the corner cafe: Bruckner for One- The Education of Being Bruckner.

Tonight, i ended up doing some much needed catching up with an old friend and thus, I missed most of the presidential debates. I did hear some of it on the radio on the way home. Sometimes i empathize with Bush, because i feel like both of our public speaking skills are not up to par. But then again, I'm not the leader of a country. (Although one day i'd like to be the leader of my own island, in which case, i guess i better start practicing my public speaking now.) So speaking isn't his thing, but i wonder how he would do at blogging?

I'd like to end tonight by reminding you of an old saying in Tennessee, i know its in Texas...probably in Tennessee: " Blog me once, good for you. Blog me twice...great for me.

I can't believe it.

Ozma has broken up. How did this happen? Tonight, i play the Doubble Donkey Disc in tribute. Will i ever get to see them live again? Perhaps in a reunion tour in 5 years?

And thanks bruckner, for your disparaging comments on my last post. I guess you were the type of bully to shove a little kid to the ground. And then kick them a few times while they're crying. And bleeding.

Anyway, now its time to get down to business: the business of getting down...

Things have been crazy busy lately. Work, life, elsewhere. But between all that, i
1. got to see a cool Pixies concert at the Greek on thursday, compliments of desk buddy mitch.
2. was asked if i was in highschool by another highschooler.
3. watched a Grand Prix of horse jumping. Y'know, if you stare at a horse's head too long, they don't look like horses so much anymore.

Ok, i guess thats it. But with everything else going on, it seemed like alot.

Some of you may or may not know, but i am moving soon. Cruising around today trying to get to Fairfax HS, i realized that i DO NOT want to live in the city. I was stuck in this horrid traffic near Third and La Brea that made me clausterphobic. Perhaps i am a valley girl after all...? Like, cool. (And to be fair to those readers who do not live in Los Angeles, people in the valley don't really talk that way. Like, its just me, k?)

In loving memory of:
OZMA (1995-2004)

I'm still at 299. Does life not go on after 299?

The original star wars trilogy came out on DVD today. To tell you the truth, i've never really gotten into star wars. I know its a cultural phenomenon, and i'm committing some sort of crime by not knowing which episode is what (i was tested today by the VP at work...boy, i failed.) But! I can tell a wookie from an ewok, so there. Speaking of chewie wookies, i believe Chewie is making an appearance on jimmy kimmel tonight, for those of you who read this blog in time. I kinda want to get the trilogy to watch all the extra features though. Maybe that'll get me into the movies.

Speaking of which, i saw Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow this weekend, and there was a scene that seemed very similar to a scene from star wars. I'd like to hear what people have to say about that, if you've seen the movie. Sky Capt was actually very good. It doesn't take much to for me to like a movie. I mean, i like chick flicks for goodness sakes. I mean, i LOVE them. Not to say chick flicks are below the standards of a good movie. I just mean, i don't criticize character developments or writing or actors the way some people do. I like to take them for what they are: pieces of entertainment that can sometimes take your breath away, or sometimes not. Anyways, this could go on forever. What i'm trying to say is, Sky Capt is good, go see it. I've still yet to see Garden State. Le sigh...

Today i realized i've been with my blog for over three years now. (Don't tell my blog, but i think we're getting serious.) We don't see each other all the time, just when i feel like it, which i think is a nice balance in this sort of relationship. But i'm starting to get a little too attached. Sometimes i blog in my head when i don't have a computer around. (Especially in traffic.) And i tell myself to remember my headblogging but i usually never do. I always come back to this blog. So even when i try to cheat on my blog i can't actually go through with it. I think this is that time in the relationship when that darn four letter word enters the relationship...

i BLOG you.

To celebrate this moment, here are my Top 5 Magical Moment Songs in the order they should be played:
1. Teardrop- Massive Attack
2. Where is my mind?- Nada Surf version
3. Let Go- Frou Frou
4. Do you realize?- Flaming Lips.
5. Light and Day- The Polyphonic Spree

*This list is not to be taken lightly. It is not a love song list, I said they're Magical Moment songs, dammit! Please use at your own discretion.*

Alright, i just don't know anymore. The blog machine keeps saying i'm on my 299th post, meaning my next post should be the 300th, but i've done it twice already, and i'm still on 299. I feel a little like Bernie Mac. Will I ever reach 300? Mrs. 300?

Heard two really cool stories on NPR yesterday.

#1. Extreme Ironing. It's a sport! It's like extreme snowboarding or extreme downhill skiing, but instead you're ironing. To be exact, its "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt." Those crazy brits are bloody GENIUS! You climb up Mt. Everest and rather than just stand around to enjoy the view, you iron a shirt. Its going a step beyond extreme sports. I thought simple at-home ironing was tough enough, but this sport pushes you to the edge of ironing. And you get to take home a souvenir with you when you go home - a crisp, unwrinkled, newly ironed shirt.
It doesn't get any better than that.
Anyone want to try Extreme Blogging with me?

#2. People are building movie theatres underneath the city of Paris. The police found the theatre, came back three days later, and it was completely gone. Read more here. It's cool to think what could be under the streets of Paris (other than bones and skulls in the catacombes, that is). I'll definitely have to make that a destination spot when i go.

And yes, i know my robot pictures didn't show up. I'm working on it.

Ok, ok. So i lied. That last one wasn't my 300th, this post is my 300th. But hey, nothing wrong with celebrating twice right?

Boy, do i know how to call the shots. A week after my kabbalah blog, i'm sitting there watching TV, and what do they talk about on Will and Grace? No, not my blog. Kabbalah! Does that mean i'm as cool as the characters portrayed on that show? Boy...i wish.

I lost a lunchtime game of poker today within 15 min. Dammit! Next time i gotta at least hold out for 20 min. And damn that velasquez for taking all my money. He was like some school bully taking all my lunchtime poker money. Except instead of trashcanning me or holding me upside down over the toilet and shaking me til my money fell out of my pockets, he made me go all in. But to be fair Bruckner (I know you're always out for my quarters), I have stayed in much longer in the past, its just that we played a fast lightning round game that only lasted an hour, and that threw my game off. But if we're talking about the relative ratio of my playing time to overall gameplay period compared to previous games played, i think i did ok. (And btw: which accent of mine are you referring to? The Irish, or that of Eliza Doolittle's cockney in My Fair Lady?)

Dang, i'm always talking about math. Ratios here and there, math in food, math everywhere. You would think i did better in math classes by the way i talk math. And boy can i talk math. The sum of the squares of the...

nevermind.

Ok, so i never post pictures up for good reason. And now, here are...

Top 5 reasons why SH never posts pictures on her blog, in no particular order:
1. People should use their imagination.
2. I don't have a digital camera.
3. It adds a little mystery to my blog.
4. I'm lazy.
5. It gives me a reason to blog about why i don't post pictures up on my blog, thus allowing me to make yet another top 5 list to add to my list of top 5 lists.

But now i'm going to break all the rules. The Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow premiered across the street the other day. As i sat in a meeting in the conference room, i witness the birth of a giant 50ft robot right outside the window. It was like a scene from a movie where people are sitting in a conference room talking seriously and only the audience notices that outside the window, a huge gi-normous robot is growing bigger and bigger, about to attack. Except only this time, I was the audience who noticed the huge robot outside the window. Ok, so maybe there isn't a movie like that (if so, please let me know!), but thats what it seemed like as I sat there. It was one of the coolest things they've done out there on that street. So i just have to share.

Robots Attack Hollywood!

That would be cool if just for that day, I was Yoshimi. Then i would bypass all the security and take on those robots single handedly. Cause if i was yoshimi, i'd have a black belt in karate. And yes, i would let them robots eat you. And laugh a hearty laugh, loudly.

Wahahaha.
Yoshimi.

Hey hey hey! Welcome to my 300th post.

People who first meet me always like to comment on how quiet I am. Why is that? What is this need to be talkative? People who know me will know i'm not that quiet. In fact, sometimes i don't even shutup when i should. But yes, there are times when i am quiet. But why is that considered as such a bad thing? I'll talk when i have something important or significant to say. I don't want to just talk out of my butt just for the sake of talking, do i? Why waste words when i can get just as much out of listening to everyone else around me? Does anyone else agree with me? Or do i need to start seeing the other side of things and really need to talk more just for the sake of talking? Its not that i have a problem with me being quiet. Its just that everyone else does, and i have a problem with that.

La Dee Da.

It's weird. I've had my current job for a while, but sometimes when i pass by a coffee shop with a help wanted sign, I still get the urge to "inquire within." I don't of course, but i just think about it. Once in a while i'll think about Muir Woods, and how great it was to work there. I was surrounded by this legal substance that when made right made me very happy. (And i make some damn good coffee.) I worked by myself with no bosses breathing down my throat (even though my boss is hardly the type). There were always friendly people coming in, and interesting people to chat with. I got to read when it was slow. I got to listen to mixes of music i enjoyed, and force it on the coffee drinking people during my shift whether they liked it or not, though they usually told me they love my mixes. All in all, it was a wonderful place to work.

So, to end my pretty uneventful 300th post, here are top 5 songs for a lazy sunday afternoon, in no particular order:
1. Love and Happiness- Al Green
2. Painter Song- Norah Jones
3. These Days - Nico
4. Sunday Sun- Beck
5. a?guas de marc?o- Elis Regina

Who does Zach Braff think he is?? Just because he wrote a script for Natalie Portman, and actually casted Natalie Portman in said script, doesn't mean he has the right to date Natalie Portman on the first shot!!! Sure we all love him in scrubbs, and sure he might be a brilliant writer and first time director, but that does not mean that he can just go and date Natalie Portman! It all seems too easy...And what about my boy milo?? I guess that moment we shared on New York Street meant nothing to him, since he's now dating Alexis Bledel, his gilmore girls COSTAR! I thought we really had something that day- him looking all good standing there, me looking all good in the blazer driving that matching blue cart...We made eye contact for goodness sakes! Does that not mean anything to anyone anymore? I almost crashed that cart and the passengers on board because of him, and what does he do? He goes and dates a costar. Yea, whatever.

Is this some sort of new kabbalah-esque train that i should be jumping on? Is hollywood trying to tell me that, IF i write a script, and direct a movie from said script, not to mention star in the movie of said script that i directed, i'll end up dating my hot costar? Yes, if hollywood could talk, i believe thats what it would be trying to tell me. I shall now go spread this gospel throughout the land.

From henceforth, all ye who wisheth to date hot celebrities may do so by joining a WB drama or writing your own feature film with said celebrity in mind. It worked for Zach, it worked for Milo, it'll work for you too. All you have to do is buy a $50 green sweatband and wear it on thy head for continuing prosperity and date-ability, for we are all out of those expensive red strings.

I once heard someone somewhere say that they really enjoy a nice pair of pants. Perhaps it was in a movie. I'm not really sure where i heard it, but when i did, i felt like i couldn't agree more with another person on a statement. Abortion, religion, politics, these are all things i can get in debates about for hours on end. But enjoying a nice pair of pants? To that i can't say anything more than "Amen, brotha."

I don't know what it is about pants. Especially a nice pair. Jeans, cords, slacks, you name it, i love it. Except of course, for the ones that don't fit me. But i also enjoying seeing a nice clean cut pair of pants on another person. Strange, i know, but i'm sure you've read stranger things on this blog. Perhaps this love for pants stems from the fact that i have a hard time finding a good pair. Finding a nice pair of pants is so hard to come by these days. Either they're all taken, or they don't fit me. My problem is: short legs and the refusal to wear heels. Most pants my size are all 3-4 inches too long for me, and i'm just too lazy to wear high heels to even them out. A key ingredient to a nice pair of pants is that they don't drag when you wear them. So, the day is good when i find short pants. As in, ones that come in short, regular, and long. They say "short" but to me its just the right length. Does that mean i'm short? Or! does that just mean i have a long torso and my legs are short in relation to said long torso? Eh? Didn't think about that, didya? But really, it's amazing how excited one can get over a little five letter word. You know, like jello, crazy, pants, sucka, paris, nunce*, and of course, short- these are all words to get excited about.

But i digress in the land of short pants. The point is, i really enjoy a nice pair of pants.

*As you may remember from the 01.05.04 archive: **NUNCE is a registered trademark of SH. Combining the word "none", and "once," it is often used by SH to refer to something "not even once." Someday it'll be in the dictionary, with SH's name next to it, so don't even think about ripping it off. However, occassional borrowing is permitted to place emphasis when proving a point or settling an argument in front of worthy adversary, at which time, said adversary would be overcome by shock of such a well crafted word that worthy adversary would, at that time, concede to any prior arguments, allowing the user of the word "Nunce" to come out victorious.**

Today i went to get my violin fixed and found out its going to cost me $140. Yes, that includes new strings, but i wasn't prepared for everything else to be so much. And who knows whether i'll keep playing or not? But i think in the end, my violin deserves a good tune up, even if i only end up playing it a couple times, so i went ahead with it. In the very least, the sound coming out of it will be better.

I was chatting with nick, the guy fixing my violin, and he confirmed that the other community orchestras in the area consist of mostly seniors too! (He's checked out the scene.) We both found it odd. Where are the post college graduates and the pre mid life crisis people our age that want to play? Where could they be hiding? Not in the valley, that's fer sure.

I must go to bed now so that i can wake at the butt crack of dawn to get to the airport along with thousands of other people only to wait and wait and wait and then board the plane and land in sj from where we will drive to napa to hopefully taste some yummy wine.

Mmmm...wine=grapes. I love grapes. I wonder if the winery people ever just go out into their grape fields and sit down with handfuls of grapes to stuff in their moufs. Hmm...probably not. But i bet it would be fun to. I would. Especially if someone fed them to me. And i was sitting on a great big throne. With people fanning me.
Boy, i love grapes.

Hey...no fair. If you're going to post a comment, you can't post as "anonymous." Whatever! If you're going to do something, do it right. Names people! Come on now.

So i had my class last night. It didn't go as well as i had hoped. When i showed up, most everyone was already there, so I had to just find a place to sit down. The one thing i noticed immediately: 80% of the class was over 50. Interesting, i thought. I sit down next to this girl sitting by herself, who also happened to be my age. She asked how old i was, and i asked how old she was. She whispered back and either said, 13, or 30, i could not for the life of me figure it out. You'd think one would be able to tell a 13 yr old from a 30 yr. old....but nope, i couldn't. I didn't want to insult her either way so i tried to ask her more questions. I've deduced that she is 30. Or, almost 30.

Anyway, so one bad thing happens after the next. First we tune up, and i realize that my violin has rusted. Well, not literally, but my pegs were stuck and i couldn't turn them to tune. So by the time everyone was well into the first piece, i was the only one still tuning. After a while, i just gave up, because i couldn't hear myself over everyone else playing, so i kinda just sat there, listening to everyone else. During pauses i would quietly try to tune, and i was able to somehow finally tune up. It wasn't perfect, but it was close. So i try to play but i haven't played in forever and a year, so my fingers were rusty too, and they weren't doing what my eyes were telling my brain to tell my fingers to do. I end up faking half of it.

THEN. During the break, the conductor guy comes up to me and says he hasn't seen me before (apparently he knows everyone else there, no one else is new?) and starts asking me some questions. How long have i been playing? How did i hear about this class? Where else have i played? Do i go to this school? What was the last orchestra i played with. Last orchestra? You mean i had to have played in a real orchestra??? "Um...highschool?" was my stupid reply to that last question. His face then turned doubtful. He said, since he doesn't know me, he has to hear me play to know where to place me (I had sat myself down in the first violin section. Thats just where i'm used to sitting!). He asked me to play a few measures of a piece. So then i panicked. I tried. It sounded horrible. And it was break time so the room was pretty quiet with people just milling about. I wanted to tell him, my violin's on crack and it doesn't want to tune right! I haven't played in years! This is my first time looking at the music! All these excuses were running in my head, but he didn't seem to have heard me mutter them. So i played once. Mess up. Played again. Mess up. After that i was determined to play the best messed up measures EVER. And i did. Boy, it was horrible. I think even people stopped practicing to themselves just to hear me, because all of a sudden it got really quiet. And that made me more nervous. So finally he stopped me and said, well, based on your experience (i think he meant LACK of it), you should really be sitting with the 2nd violins. And sign these forms, and yadda yadda. Ok, fair enough. I didn't mind sitting with the second violins. I just wished i had played better in front of him. Now he's going to think that i'm some ammateur-straight-out-of-HS-violin-player. Well, even though i am. But, i just wished i was able to fake my inabilities more so i could impress him. Oh well.

Since i had started with the first violins, i decided to stay there (even though he had already told me i should be with the 2nd violins). I didn't feel like moving, and i didn't know where to get 2nd violin music. And really, it'll probably be my last time ever in the 1st violin section after my horrible 2 minute audition. So then we tune up again, and OF COURSE, when i put my violin away during the break, it had untuned itself again, and once again, i was sitting there trying to adjust my pegs while everyone started playing. This time, i couldn't tune it as close as i did the first time, so i just said screw it, and played. For those of you who don't know, you can still play the right notes if your violin isn't tuned 100%. You just have to shift your positions a little. So thats what i attempted to do. ATTEMPTED. I mean, it was ok, it didn't sound completely right, but it wasn't completely off either. Once in a while i would hit the wrong note. So, i'm sure the conductor could hear me playing out of tune. I just wish i could've told him that my violin was out of tune, and i KNEW i was playing out of tune, i'm not tone deaf. Well, not completely. ;-) I played about 30% of the music, and faked the rest.

And then, when the whole thing was over, i went up to the conductor to ask if there was anything else i should do. He emphasized again that i should be getting 2nd violin music. It might be just me and my paranoia, but i just got the feeling that he wasn't too happy that i was there. He didn't seem entirely welcoming to a girl who just wants to play her damn violin. But then again, what was i expecting? A red carpet welcome?

Now i can't back out. He said he'll call people if they don't show up. Plus i took a copy of the music home with me, so i'd have to return it eventually. I've got nowhere to hide. Ok, so first day of school didn't go too well, and i'm feeling a little dejected. But i'm determined to just brush it off and just keep going.

Cut to: SH in a light blue sweat suit combo gear with worn in new balance running shoes, a sweatband on both head and wrists, running in place. She then turns to face the sun, so all you see is her dark silhouette...She runs off towards the morning sun - images reminiscent of Rocky 1, 4, and 5. V.O is heard offscreen: Just shake it off SH, shake it off. A soft "Eye of the Tiger" fades up in the background. Dun! Dun dun dun.... Dissolve to:

But ok really. To tell you the truth, a part of me wants to go just to spite the conductor. Y'know, cramp his style. Make him a little nervous about me ruining his precious orchestra. Maybe after some practice and rehearsals i'll be back up to speed again, and i can prove him wrong. Boy, I love to prove people wrong. Maybe a little too much. So, it's not exactly the greatest reason to want to go back, but hey, its a reason right?

So now i'm Risin' up, back on the street...