Well, leave it to the incredibly gay man-boy to give me a fantastic new cut. Or at least I thought it was fantastic at the time. Why is it you can never replicate your freshly cut salon hair? What was fantastic when he spun me around in my chair before we both jumped like little girls at my glee has now turned into this...mullet-esque wig like concoction. No, it's not him at all, it's just my hair. My uncooperative hair. So, as always...I'll give it a few more days to let the new DO settle in. In the event of any long term uncooperativeness - I've got several winter hats in queue.

So I have returned from the far east. Nothing to blog on that yet...if ever. My inner blog voice rarely emerged on this trip, therefore, little writing was done. According to my sister, I am still suffering from jetlag (as i write this at 1:24 in the AM.) At first I thought i was over it until she said, really? Don't you NOT want to wake up until late in the morning? (why...yes!) And, don't you NOT feel like sleeping until late at night? (why...yes yes!) The diagnosis? Jet Lag. That explains it! It seems as though i've been suffering from jet lag for several years now.

Why is it in the movies or on tv, people always fall in love so quickly? It's always love at first sight. To answer my own question: for practical reasons, i guess. No one's got the time to sit through a whole courtship, especially when dramas are only less than an hour. But in movies, many times: boy sees girl from window, girl sings song, and boy immediately falls in love with her. I'm talking about one movie in particular, but you can apply this formula to many movies. And then yknow, drama ensues, boy loses girl, ffwd to the end, boy reunites with girl, all is grand, and they live happily ever after. I'd like to see about movie about the ever after part. The part where they move in together to their new castle loft in the downtown village, and then really start to get to know each other. He finds that she has bad personal hygene (which is unfair to be critical of since everyone back then had bad hygene), and she finds him to be just a farm boy, not fit for the hip castle loft in the village. They find out that they're not so hot for each other after all, and that maybe their love was soley based on that first "look" and that first song. And then maybe they'll have wished that they didn't rush into things so quickly and that their love maybe wasn't based on that first glance, but rather, on his delutional state from not having eaten for days, and from her lapse of judgement due to not getting enough oxygen to the brain after being locked up for so long. (Plus she was singing at the time, which takes more oxygen away from the brain and uses up what little energy she had from not getting out and doing her daily calisthenics.) Then they'll have to go their separate ways, but not before deciding who gets to stay at the castle loft. But i digress.
My point is: ok. I lost my point. Perhaps i'll circle back to this another day.

So, last day of the year. I probably should spend some time on goal setting and personal achievements for the upcoming year...but I'm not going to. At least not today. I already know this year will start with a less than stellar start. But that's not to say I'm letting that dictate the direction for the rest of the year. There is hope that things will turn out fine, if not better than expected. Stellar could still very possibly be on the horizon.

For now, I'm wishing on the stars, and hoping for the best.

Happy New Year.

Ok so i realize haven't been keeping up with this. And, I'll also be out of the country for the next two weeks or so, so this could be my last post for a while. So let's make this worthwhile, yea?

First things first.

The Chipmunks movie. I KNOW it looks horrible. I KNOW it looks like another Garfield movie. I KNOW that animated creatures should not live on the same frame as live actors (except for Roger Rabbit, which I haven't seen, but heard was good?). I KNOW that we've all heard the alvin...Alvin...ALVIN!!! bit and know it all too well and it's..well, it's kinda lame. I know all this BUT. But i just have to say that the way they animated the chipmunks make them look really darn cute, and..and c'mon it's the chipmunks! Who didn't love the chipmunks? Who doesn't have their christmas album? Don't lie, you know you did. Mine is on tape, and if i still had a tape player, I'd be playing it right now as I type. So, even though I probably won't be seeing it in the theatres, I may..MAY just have to put it in my queue when it comes out on DVD.

Still no luck with writing that one great song. Or even a good song. Several band names in the queue though.

Geez, this is sad. My last post for a while and all I've got is chipmunks and no song? Boy this blog has hit rock bottom. Please come back in the new year. I promise it will be better. It'll be filled with new adventures overseas, movie reviews, what LAX is really like on Christmas eve, and perhaps a review on a toilet themed restaurant. Yes, you read me right. You'll just have to come back to see whether i'm pulling your chain or not. But really, I can't make that stuff up by myself, as great as you think this blog might be. I just really can't.

Happy Holidays to All, and to All a Goodnight!

Wow. How great was this years Victoria's Secret Fashion show???

For those of you that missed it: They had a whole collection dedicated to my man Magritte, and Dali!! A bunch of eye ball, umbrella, top hat, clouds type of images incorporated into their outfits. So awesome. I love weird shit like that. And the show is not just women walking in underwear. Ok...it kinda is. But they really think about each outfit, they're almost like costumes. Really well designed costumes that show off the VS line really well. It makes their stuff look really cute, not kinda tacky like when you walk in the store. This model had a green cape on that made her look like a christmas tree, so her sparkling bra and underwear were like ornaments on the tree. It's brilliant!! It's really a great marketing idea.

And, um, how much do we all want to be Heidi Klum? Geez! She's a gorgeous model, she has her own hit show, she looks fantabulous after having 2 kids, and she can actually sing! She did a duet with hubby Seal, it was pretty good.

Ok, I'll stop gushing now.

Also, today I received an email from a Dr. Sung Puckett who informed me that "Girls do not like you because your dick is too small." Thanks for the heads up Dr. Puckett. I can't believe you would actually take the time to tell me something so pointless. It's like making a housecall! Swell. I hope you enjoy your vacation in the Deleted Items folder.

How do people write songs? And not just any song, but a GOOD song. I just can't figure it out.
I wrote a song once. It was crappy.
So then i tried to disguise what i was actually writing about in the form of...cars? Was it...selling cars? Maybe I was a salesman selling a car? Buying a car? Something like that, I can't even remember what the metphor was about.
Then i wrote another song about boys. Or was it dancing. Or dancing with boys. Who knows.
Cady and I were suppose to write a song about surfing...I don't think we ever made it to the chorus.
This American Life had an episode about writing songs. It was funny and entertaining and inspiring. But still...nothing comes to mind.

And it's not like I haven't tried to study my favorite artists or songs to see what they're all about. But even the greatest songs, even my favorites...when you strip lyrics of its melody, and all you're left with is words....sometimes you're left with a beautiful poem. Or most likely, the poem sounds like crap too. But somehow...somehow the music hides the crapiness of the lyrics and it becomes a great song. Where is this going you ask? I haven't got a clue.

Wow. Can i just say AGAIN: askWoolyM. The link is right there, to your left. Just go and start reading. She answers so many good questions that I am always wondering about! I'm sure she can answer some of yours too. I emailed her to tell her what a great service she was providing, and she speedily replied. It's just fantastic, really.

Currently: waiting on an excellent dinner I made to heat up.

Next week people! Next week is the week!! Today in the elevator I suddenly thought I missed it, but then realized it's next week. What is it you ask? Victoria's Secret Fashion Show!! I accidently discovered this last year, as I had not thought much of models with oversized angel wings parading around lingerie in the past. But it really is a very entertaining hour or two of tv. And besides, everything else is reruns anyways, right?

I recently got the new ipod nano as a gift...and BOY is it a step up from my shuffle! Actually, it is several steps up. I'm still not used to it, its my first real ipod. First the space. 4 g's may not seem like much, but..BOY O BOY, its so much more than 512mb! No more deciding which albums are my favorite, and which one i'll have to leave out. And theres even room for podcasts!

Speaking of podcasts, i can WATCH them!! The other day at the airport, i was being a total nerd by watching a free podcast of FCP tips and tricks on my nano. Hooray for being a tech geek! (ok, not really)

And THEN! I can pick which albums i want to listen to! By artist, by album, whatever, I CHOOSE! Again, this may not seem like much if you've had an ipod since the beginning, but coming from Shuffle Land (aka, land of mentally noting what you've put into the shuffle, and then "next next next next next-ing" until you find that song you want), this is HUGE!

I can also load my address book from my computer on my nano? What? You mean have people's information on me when i travel? What? Stop it! But i can't! It keeps going!

A calendar? A clock??? You know how many times i've wanted to know what time it was on the plane but couldn't because the only time i had was on my turned off cell phone?

CRAZY!!!!

It's the little things I tell ya. Theres so much more, but I'm starting to sound like an ipod commercial.
Dinner is calling me, I must go give it some love.

Dear Mervyns and Coles:

What is wrong with you people? Doors open at 4am? Seriously? SERIOUSLY??


In other news: our apt. complex is now officially enrolled in recycling, to begin in 6-8 weeks. Next up, I will conquer the 16th floor suite, and perhaps...THE ENTIRE BUILDING. Muwahahahaha. Stay Tuned.

Dear Milo,

There are reports that you are getting snuggly with Hayden, that dolphin saving cheerleader costar of yours. Sigh. Ok. It's not like I ever really thought the idea of the two of us were in the stars. Really. And honestly, I don't really know Hayden, I'm sure she's a swell girl and all that (even though I cannot tell what all the hubbub is about for the life of me). But I loved the fact that you were with Rory G. And even though I know couples break up and move on...can't you date someone more like Rory than Hayden?? Puh-lease? For the sake of your fans! Not that it's really any of my business.

Sincerely yours,
SH

OMG, i just ran across this great site called askWoollyM. I have made a link to it on your left. Please go and read everything you can there, it's awesome!!!

Coincidentally, today I called my apt. manager to ask her to fix a lightswitch (for the xth time) and also to tell her about FREE LA city recycling for multi family complexes. She was interested and actually said she already looked into some recycling services but the property owners didn't want to pay for anything. In flies SH to the rescue, just in time! Of course, when I emailed the city they said they were backed up, and so we probably won't get this service for a while...but at least it's on its way. Hopefully. Fingers crossed!

Currently listening to: Cranberries. Boy they were great, whatever happened to them??

Sometimes my deep manly voice likes to emerge from a place of hiding, but it usually does so late at night. Once in a while though, it emerges in the day time, much to my chagrin. While my deep manly voice goes great with my manish PJs during the PM, it does nothing for my pretty pretty heels in the AM. It's wrong. All wrong. You know how when you talk you hear yourself one way, and then when you hear your recorded voice, it sounds completely foreign to you? Well, not only is my deep manly voice manly, it is smart too. It knows how to bypass that register where you think you sound fine, and manages to penetrate my ear sounding like my real recorded voice. My manly voice is a real pain in my ass.

In other news, it seems as though a lot of writers are comedians. They're just so funny! But i guess you have to be when you're writing for conan or steve carrell. I say, if this whole strike thing doesn't go well for them, they may be able to find some work in stand up. Maybe? Maybe? Bueller?

Oh joy oh happiness! Who would've ever thought I'd be this excited over email? Just found out that hotmail fixed their bug on reply emails. Before when you reply to an email, it was a block of garbage that no one can sort out. Now it is legibly formatted, much to my relief. I didn't want to have to give up my hotmail account over something silly like formatting! Now if only they would fix my send and receive time. It is currently 8 hours ahead of real time. I've tried looking into settings. Perhaps I have checked on the wrong time zone box? Nope. My emails are just 8 hours into the future. Annoying, but idealogically cool.

Punctuation is a funny thing. It can say so much without actually saying anything at all. See, i could've ended that last sentence with an (!) to further extend my excitement on punctuations, but instead I ended it with a (.), carrying an air of nonchalant coolness, as though I had my nose in the air while holding an extraordinarily long cigarette. AND THEN I CAN DO THIS AND TO YOU IT MAY SEEM LIKE I'M SHOUTING AT YOU, even though, all the while, I could've accidentally hit the CAPS lock. Or, I can type, OMG, MYOB, INBD! And you will know what I am trying to say. Well, some of you. Hahaha. The evolution of the written word these days amazes me to no end.

In other news, stayed home from work today to find that daytime TV is still just as bad as I remembered. Except now, it is even worse! With the writers on strike, Ellen is not so funny anymore. But then again, I've never found her THAT funny...so maybe she doesn't need writers after all? Also realized that the weather woman on kcal 9 has an enormous rack. I mean they're gargantuan!! They're never gratuitously displayed, in fact I think they're almost always covered, but they are still huge! Boy o boy.

Oh I also called in today to cancel my identiy-monitor membership, only to be talked out of it by the operator. Boy, he was slick. So I called back after I checked some information out, only to get a incoherent operator who just did not respond to my several "hello? hellos?" even though I could hear noise in the background. And then I think another woman took over, mumbled an entire paragraph into the phone which I couldn't understand, due to her mouth being too close to the phone or her not articulating certain words correctly, or SOMETHING! In any case...I think I succeeded. I think.

That's all for today.

Hello everyone! I'd like you all to welcome Tess to the blogging circle. She's my first fashion/crafts/cool stuff blog. I'm so excited! I'm awaiting all the cool stuff that she wants that she'll introduce to us in the future. Huzzah! Find her link on your left.

Currently: debating whether to call in sick tomorrow. Body aches, head hurts, warm face, and I'm constantly craving ice cream. Yup, I'm sick.

And you see, its not like I don't like christmas. In fact, I have the charlie brown christmas album, and the chipmunks christmas album! (well, more like on tape) It's just that I'd rather people give each holiday their due time and space, and not rush into things. But it's too late.

I've been pondering whether or not to start posting pictures up on my blog. Would be nice to see some pictures, like my martha stewart flowers i made for the shower. And my polka dot dress wore to said shower. Or the twice worn red hooker heels I have that are oh so uncomfortable but look oh sooo chic. Or the new BLACK** music stand with new magical books. But it's such a hassle to load them from the camera and post. Oh what to do. Be less lazy I guess, and more proactive? Nah.

**Forgot to blog about the new music stand that only vonne may appreciate. So i got a new music stand. And it is black. And I am crazy about it. Y'see, ever since I was a kid, all I had were those silver cheapo looking music stands. They like to shout obscenities like "student!" or "beginner!" or "lame-o" at me when I look their way. But no more! I recently haven't been able to find my old silver stand. (hmm...gee...too bad.) So i got a new one. My new music stand is still the cheapo kind, but now in BLACK! Now it whispers "sexy" and "oh mama" when I give it the come hither look. And then I drive it crazy by making it hold my new sexy books of Positions on it. Boy, wait til I get to those 9th positions. My stand will just self collapse and fall to the floor. I can't wait. It's going to be grand.

Maybe that'll be the first picture I post? ;-)

Yesterday I heard my first christmas song in a store. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! Let us have thankgiving people!! I was so mad I almost grabbed the store clerk next to me by the collar to ask "Why? WHY??? Why now, on November 3rd?" But I didn't want to get kicked out. But really, I almost turned to her and said, "Seriously? SERIOUSLY??" Then i realized, she probably has no control over what the store plays. It's not her fault. Besides, this song wasn't one of those blantantly obvious christmas songs. It was one of those peripherals ones, only slightly alluding to the holiday. So i took a deep breath, and let it go. Could've been a fluke. After that a hip hop song played. That's more like it, I thought. Even though I hate this song, its still better than christmas in november. I silently apologized to the store clerk in my head, for what I almost would've done. So i continued my shopping, having forgotten about the whole debacle, when BAM! On comes another christmas song. This time, one of those BLATANTLY OBVIOUS ones. Ooooh, they are sneaky like that, trying to hide amongst the hip hop and top 40. Who the hell do these christmas songs think they are?!??!?!

Ok. Deep breath.

So i recently watched Swingers. I know, I know, i'm like a decade too late on the swinger craze. In my defense, I tried to watch it when it first came out on video, but after 20min, me and the bf at the time had to turn it off. We were just so bored. Plus we were naive kids in OC, unaware to the culture on the other side of the curtain. But now, living in LA, especially in the city, and after everyone always making references to it, I decided to pick it up again and give it a second shot. Not too bad i'd have to say. A little too much talky talky but it had some good moments, and good lines. I would've loved to have known Los Feliz before it was invaded by hipsters though. That would've been nice. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Oh, and only in LA would you see 2 guys underneath a junkie, messy, but colorful freeway overpass on an early saturday morning. One smiling dashingly while the other took pictures of that dashing smile with a very expensive looking camera. I'm not hip with it, but didn't someone tell me that headshots are obsolete now because they never look like the real person (it's true, they never do)? But then again, i guess they'll never die out, people will always like to look pretty on paper and have hundreds of copies of them. I know i do.

And only in LA do you hear conversations about "that show getting picked up" at starbucks.

The P's and GP's are here, gotta run!

In the background: It's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown! I love charlie brown. I can totally relate.

Last night at the grocery store: stuffing for turkey.
Tonight at Target: Christmas and Hanukkah on the shelves.

What is wrong with these people? Can't we just have each holiday in peace? Without all the other holidays creeping in, trying to take over? Good grief Charlie Brown.

Today I learned that the Intern might go to the playboy mansion tomorrow, but she might not, she's already been there twice. Zut! The closest i'll ever come to the playboy mansion is to watch Weezer's Beverly Hills video.

Crap. Just saw a commerical for Shrek the Halls. Shrek and Christmas. Geez louise my knees and honeybees. Let the craziness begin.

So the wedding is finally over. Whew. What a whirlwind. Have yet to see pictures, didn't have time to get my hair done. What was suppose to be a great "do" turned out to be just a pony tail. Phooey.

Haha. Charlie Brown just got a rock.

Ok, too many things going on. Must go download some pictures now. Be back later with more coherent intelligence.

OH! How i love the sweet smell of a violin shoppe. I'm not quite sure what the smell is, probably wood polisher...but ahhhhh, it is so sweet. Or maybe i'm just getting high off the toxic fumes, who knows. This morning I took a field trip to metzler to hunt down these books someone in orchestra had recommended. I have this fantasy that once I master these two books, I will be THE GREATEST VIOLIN PLAYER EVERRRRR!!! And I mean, EVERRRRR!!!! OF ALL TIMEEE!

Volume 1, third and fifth positions. I should have these down by now but, what do you know, I don't! Volume 2, second fourth sixth and seventh positions. Seven? I didn't even know positions go up that high. It's all squeaky eek eek eeks after fifth for me. Ha. But I realized the reason I'm always so timid with my playing is that I don't really know my positions. I half learned them way back when, never really mastered them. So now's my chance. Wait for my comeback people! It's gonna be great! Ah...new books.

And yes, i realize all this probably means nothing for most of you, except maybe vonne and christine. And....they're both currently in nyc. Hope you're having fun vonnie!

I'm off to sniff some polisher...

Holy Crap!

2.5 months later am I only realizing that I've forgotten about my own anniversary. My own 6 year anniversary! I can't believe it. The thought didn't even come up. Not even close. I'm sorry blog. I've been doing shitty things like this to you lately. I know I've apologized before. But happy belated birthday anyways. At least we celebrated your 500th post with cake and ice cream.

What? We didn't?!?

Well. Well I'll just have to go make that up to you right now!

I am in love with aphorisms! And more specifically, chiasmus. This is a wonderful exciting discovery which i hope to share more of in the future. It's so fitting for a blog, too. Perhaps one day, I'll be able to communicate solely through aphorisms, like how people communicate with their hands. I'll be spitting them out one after another. That would be awesome. For now, I am just a young grasshopper, learning the ways of aphorisms.

Wow, my 500th post. If this was a TV show, you'd be watching the cast cutting an enormous cake while the credits rolled right now. I've always wondered if there was enough cake for the audience to have a piece too. But the credits never rolled long enough for me to find out.

So this is not a TV show. It is just my blog. Read by an audience of less than 10, but more like 4. So thanks for being here. If i had cake, there would be enough for y'all.

There's so much I want to write about tonight, to get out of my system. But it's really hard for me to expose myself on a blog such as this. Also the reason why this is not a TV show. Though, some of the things that go on in my head makes for good TV. At least I think so. And you've been privy to it. Just read the archives.

Instead, I'll write about something I just thought of at this moment. Something I'm slapping my hand to my forehead for doing. Or rather, not doing. My friend steven moved away today. We've been trying to get together before he left, but it just didn't happen. I told myself to call him today, and the day happened and I totally forgot. And now he's gone. He's such a great guy and we've just kinda lost touch in the past year or so, but there were always the occasional emails or calls. We shared a love for pie and the bookstore. He had an infectious smile and bought shirts he never wore. He was one of the first friends I made when I came out here. Steven, I know you don't read this, but I'm sorry I'm such a bonehead. I'll miss you.

This month in my Working Mother magazine:

Get over your guilt: Why it's time to let go.

as well as

Catch it early: Is your daughter anorexic?


Egads. It's tough being a working mom.

It's beginning to get cold. Yesterday was the first day of fall, and what a beautiful day it was (or so it seemed from our 16th story windows). I love this time of year. I'm getting ready for my heavy blanket, warm sweaters, and hot soupy ramen noodles. (Ok, who am i kidding, i eat that stuff year round. But it tastes better when its cold.)

Speaking of marshmallows: Mallomars. H introduced me to them at the C a few years ago, when she came back from her trip to NY. Back then, I ate in wonder at this cookie that was so befitting of me. So I took another. And another. I've recently forgotten about them until about a week ago. And suddenly I'm having this craving. I don't know why they only sell these on the east coast. Maybe the warmer weather here makes for unsatisfactory marshmallow conditions? But still. There's ways around it. I know you can get them online, but I need a local store where I can just walk in any day and get my fix. I told H about my craving, and that it was her fault because she introduced them to me, like some sort of drug pusher doing business. She laughed and said her mom will send some. Oh happiness. I cannot wait. Next time I go to the east coast, I will leave as myself, but return as a mule...A MULE OF MALLOMARS. muahahaha.

Now the thing I'm not sure about is whether they're all over the east coast, or just in NYC, where H got them, or maybe in select states of the west coast as well? Would they be available in Dallas? Chicago? Seattle? Miami? Beuller? Beuller? I need to do some more research, but your help is kindly appreciated.

Anyone know where I can find a mini skulls and bones patch?

I have a hole in my shoes. My very simple, black canvas flats that I got from target 2 years ago. The left shoe has a hole right where my pinky toe is, so very often, my pinky likes to peep out for some sun. I really like these simple shoes and I don't think its quite their time to go yet. But at the same time, everyone also likes to point out that i have a hole in my shoe, plus its probably not work appropriate now with the hole. Many have already told me, "Those are very basic shoes, I bet you can find them anywhere." Wrong people, wrong! I cannot find them anywhere. They were so last last season.

Which is why I think a mini patch would do just the trick. But it can't be any patch. It has to be the right patch. It has to be skull and bones.

I was just at the grocery store, where this lady approached me out of nowhere, and asked me if I would like to get my fortune read, as she had picked up good energy from me. Now, she wasn't just soliciting everyone, she was actually grocery shopping with what seemed like her mother, and while she waited for her mother, I happened to walk by her, and that's when she asked me. I said no thank you, though as i walked away i wondered if she really did pick up good energy, or if it was just some pickup line she uses on all her potential clients? And, if i didn't possess this so called "good energy," would she still have wanted to read my fortune? Who knows.

Lately, I've been wondering about the outside life. As in, life outside the entertainment industry. I'm always curious as to how people outside of this industry spend their weekends, or in their spare time. Aside from the regular 9-5 job, it seems like everyone in LA always has some project they're working on. Whether its their latest script, that short film to edit, preparation for the next short, acting class, band practice, orchestra rehearsal, singing lessons, dance class....on and on and on. Like today, I drove by these three kids (ok, not kids, they're like my age) on the sidewalk, with a very fancy camera in hand, probably shooting some comedy. They're working on a sunday, like most of us do. So, let's say I was a dentist in Kentucky. Imagine all the free time I'd have on the weekends!

No no, I take that back, I guess its not true. I guess it's not just us here in this industry, everyone has some sort of side project they're perpetually working on. Takes away from the lull of the work week, I guess. I don't know what I was thinking.

I guess I was just thinking about how nice it would be to lounge around on the weekends and do whatever I want. And yes, I'm free to do that. In fact, from time to time, i DO do that. But how nice would it be to be able to do that without having this constant nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me: what are you doing lounging about when you have x, y, z to do??? But that probably goes for everyone, eh?

I'm giving myself 15 min. of blog time before i set off to engulf myself in a few hours of work.

I don't know what it is with me and cravings. When I crave something, I must have it right away. I crave lemon bars, so I make them. I had the sudden urge to watch this movie I loaned to a friend, so I had him bring it back. I had a craving for pho, so I had pho. If i have an idea for an art project, I must start it right away, even though its 10pm and all the supply stores are closed. I guess I just need instant gratification?

This morning, I got out of my car and saw a couple walking towards me, holding hands. I suddenly had an urge to have my hand held. Whenever I read people write about this or that "wave" of something "washing over them," I always think, yes yes yes, blah blah blah you crazy writer, just get to the point. Ok, now I get the point. I apologize to all crazy writers with waves. This morning when I saw the couple, I felt the "wave" of something "wash over me." It was a longing to have my hand held, nothing more, nothing less. I could've just walked up to them, and put my hand into his, or hers. But then that would've been weird, right?

Currently: sudden case of the sniffles.

Just had to get up and get a tissue after that sentence. Hopefully these sniffles are just on holiday in my nose, and will be on their merry way again soon. Hopefully by tomorrow. By the time i wake up. You hear that sniffles!!

The apartment is in a state of shambles from a week of neglect, and a prior week's full of stuff in preparation for a shower. Stuff will hopefully be returned to their proper origins this weekend.

I received a phone book in front of my door two days ago. Came at a weird time since C had just recently asked, "Who uses phone books anymore when there's the internet?" To which I replied, "Lots of people! Especially for businesses, like when you're at the dentist and you want a pizza..." Shortly thereafter, I realized that perhaps not many people have the sudden urge to order pizza when they're at the dentist. They're most likely to do so when they get home.

So fast forward a week, and I get this phone book on my door step. One with the same information I can get on google. One that, along with its brothers and sisters, could have saved an entire forest of trees. So I'm left with a dilemma. Trash the freshly printed, unopened, still-in-plastic-bag (again! useless packaging!), already-killed-a-tree book that I'm never going to use again? Or keep it around so at least this already made useless thing of a book can feel like it had some sort of purpose? Perhaps I'll have small guests over someday that will need to sit on one. Perhaps my world will befall on some disaster where the only way to keep warm will be to burn things. Or my internet will be down one day and I'll really need to order pizza. Actually, no, I never order pizza. Sigh, what to do?

After throwing this bridal shower, I've come to the realization that I may turn out to be one of those evil brides if I ever plan my own wedding. I was easily agitated, tired from running to this store and that store, and stressed out all week. The pimples on my face are still around, laughing in my face...that is, MY face, that surface which they are currently so attached to, and have been all week. Thus, no wedding. Simple!

Over the weekend I had my first encounter of: "When's it your turn?" Ugh. I wanted to punch him. But it came from my older cousin. So I wouldn't have gotten away with it. Had to do the polite, haha-laugh-it-off bit. I feel as though that will get old real soon. Reeeeeal soon. As in, it's already old. Puh-lease. Just save me from kicking you in the face, and don't ask me such questions.

Oh orchestra...how I love thee. Let me count the ways....

1. no outwardly annoying types yet.
2. awesome music, challenging, yet playable.
3. i love my violin
4. all that counting and paying attention really works my brain. in a good way. and you know how hard it is to work my brain...

*Correction on previous post: I'm 26, not 25. Shit. I'm already slipping.

I'm not a competitor by any means. But when it comes to certain things, especially things that don't really matter, I find myself competing even when my competitors aren't the least aware that we're competition. I guess in this way (this way as in, the they-don't-know-we're-in-competition way), I've got a leg up! Today I found myself thinking about this girl I went to HS with, thinking about everything she accomplished in school, and gee golly, look at her now. I started comparing all the things that shes done, and all the things that i've done, even though- we don't talk to each other. I have no idea what goes on in her life. And vice versa. And I find myself competing and comparing secretly with people all the time. "She has nicer hair, but at least I have bangs. Ha! Take that, girl on the street I'll never meet!" And so on.

What is that all about?

I just need to chill out and remember that my life is pretty darn good. I always forget that. Why is that so easily forgotten? Especially in this world of drunk driving, jail, rehab, and bombed comebacks (sorry, just had to add that), the life I have is pretty darn good. In my 25 years I haven't been to jail yet (though, knock on wood and wait til i get this unending traffic violation resolved...), the only drug i'm currently doped up on is Nyquil (knocks you out, wake up refreshed!), and and...wait for it wait for it......

And i've got my bangs.

So...really. Life is good.

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a preachy blog. I just found my mind drifting about this person or that person and comparing myself to them that I needed to take this time and reassure and remind myself of my awesome-ness.

Therefore, dear reader. Please please please take this moment to think of three reasons why you're awesome as well. Put it in my comments so everyone else can see, because everyone should. I promise I won't compare my awesomeness to yours.



Really, you're just cheating yourself and the world if you don't do this. Besides, nobody reads this blog except for you anyways. ;-)

Conversation recently heard though my open window:

Guy 1: ...that girl? She's a married woman!
Guy 2: Dood! Did you ask her out?
Guy 1: Yea!


Didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation. The things I hear with the window open. People also like to sing as they walk by my window. Sometimes they're good. Mostly they're not.

Thank goodness for nyquil.

Currently: Pondering going out for ice cream, but that would mean getting dressed. Been holed up in the apt all day, scantily clad, joined by a broken AC and one small fan. Nonetheless, I still got alot accomplished. Of course, not as much as I wanted, but still has been a productive day. Debating whether to take another shower before bed. In the background: bad weight loss reality TV, not even the good one. Can't stand it, so lame, will turn off. Almost forgot, popsicles in fridge. On top of beer. Beer: cold. Me: hot. Apt: oven. Can't complete full sentences...

Yes. Yes I can.

I could go be more productive and hot, or I could just go sit in front of the fan, subject myself to more bad summer tv. Oh boy, the choices.

Bangs have been put away under these circumstances. They could never hack such weather. Ha. Sorry, anonymous, for there will be no pictures of them tonight! I hope you cry yourself to sleep!

Gotta go, beer and popsicle are waiting for me to kill them off. It's gonna be grand.

Bangs.

That's been the topic of conversation this week. I got some bangs last weekend. I don't know that I've ever gotten so many compliments on something before. Who knew? Who knew that if i revert back to my look from freshman year (thats highschool, not college), that I'd get so much positive feed back? In fact, so much that I'm a little bit jealous of the bangs. It's just hair, big deal, why do THEY get so much attention? What about me?? ME ME ME! No one cares about lil' old SH now that new bangs are in town.

SH made dinner!
Who cares, let's look at her bangs.

SH had to stay at work late.
But how are the bangs holding up to the stress?

SH banged (no pun intended) her head on the low tree branch.
Are the bangs OK??

SH is down on the ground crying in pain.
Stop writhing so much SH, we can't see the bangs.


Sigh.
"With great bangs come great responsibility. It is only to be used for Good, and big foreheads. Nothing else." - a wise dood


That's it for this post. Next post, I will attempt sarcasm.

So the other day i was in the grove parking lot, circling around, trying to find parking. I finally followed a lady who was going to her car, only to turn the corner, and see that another car was waiting in the vicinity.

Now what are the rules on parking spots? Do I get it because I followed her? Or do they get it because they're waiting right next to where she parked?

In any case, had it been a family of 3 or more, or even a cute looking couple, I would've just let them have it without giving it a second thought (even though i'd been circling around and around for a while). Instead....it was a white top down bmw. With two girls in it. Two 18-ish rich snobby girls who were dressed like they looked snobby. And while the lady pulled out, it was me vs. them. And they won. They took the spot. Partly because I'm a pushover, and partly because there's two of their snobby little asses, and I was only one. And yes, even in their short shorts and long hair, the two of them could've kicked my ass. Ugh. I hate these situations. i know this is prejudiced, but i hate when priviliged people get what they want. It's like they won. And I hate it when they win.

I wish i could've pulled a Kathy Bates ala Fried Green Tomatoes. In fact, while we waited for the lady to pull out, during the minutes when there was a staring show down between me and the girls, I thought about pulling the Kathy Bates. But...again, two of them, one of me. And I'm not as old as Kathy Bates was in the movie, I don't know that I'm more insured than the girls.

Ugh, things like this piss me off. Especially when I pass by the same girls in my cirlcle around the parking lot for the Xth time, who now have gotten out of their BMW and is now putting their designer sunglasses on and tossing their gucci bags over their shoulders.

What is a girl to do? Nothing. Keep looking for the next empty spot.

Just finished up adding some ram to my computer. I feel like such a cool nerd. Hooray for ram!!

Word of the night: Offen Bach. Not sometimes Bach. But Offen Bach. hahahahahahha. awesome.

So, final word on HSM. You should definitely see it......................IF you are between the ages of 5 and 12! If you don't fall between that...or within a year or two, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT touch it with a ten foot pole. And this is coming from someone who often acts as though she is between the ages of 5 and 12 (but...more like a mature 13). I'll let the teeny bops have Zack Efron. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Mmm...fish........fried.........

Whoa whoa.

Why didn't anyone inform me?? Apparently, I'm a working mom. Today I received the Aug/Sept issue of Working Mothers. It wasn't even a mistake, it had my full name and address printed on it and everything. Geez, time flies. Suddenly I'm getting married, having kids, and working on m career all at the same time, without knowing it. I wonder if my kids resent me for working a full time job? I know my dead plants do. Muahahaha.

Haven't had time to flip through it yet, but it IS the back to school issue. That's huge for moms, isn't it?

I wonder if they have any "easy packed lunch" ideas in this issue. I always try to steal those from Good Morning America segments, or random articles on the net around this time of year, and apply them when making my own grown up lunch. Except...these easy lunch ideas always involve some sort of carrot sticks or string cheese combo...both of which I hate. Why can't they ever be: Insert Ho-Ho, snack-sized Flaming Hot Cheetos, V-8 Splash with mini vodka bottle into lunch bag, shake well, serves 1? Easy peasy, ready in 2 minutes.

dammit...suppose to be in bed 1/2 hour ago and i'm still here!! so much for the pep talk...now i'm listening to the rest of the album...AGAIN!

I can't stop listening to sia. I'm in love with her music. I've been meaning to wean off these two albums and move on to something new but I just can't part with such sweetness.

Tonight I'm going to bed early. Currently listening to sia's "I Go To Sleep" for inspiration, and as a pre-bed pep talk. Tired. Tired. But so many potentially exciting projects in queue! I want to start immediately. But I must go to sleep. Better to start fresh. Ugh, but its hot. Speaking of queue, High School Musical is off of mine, as an email told me it has shipped, and will be here tomorrow. Oh, the anticipation. I will need some privacy this weekend (if not sooner) to be alone with this disc. If you don't hear from me, I'm probably unavoidably entertained by said disc. Check in to find out!

I don't know what it is, but I do not want to go to bed! I'm tired and sleepy...but the idea of bed right now seems so anticlimatic to yet another anticlimatic day. Maybe its the august heat. I'm parched as a fish. But I guess fish don't get thirsty. I'm parched as a piece of parchment. The kind that makes the scratchy noises when you write on it with a feather ink pen. Kinda antsy too. Already thinking about my cup of coffee tomorrow morning. Geez, that's such an addict thing to do.

Yesterday I saw ugly betty at whole foods in the fruit section. I should've taken a picture of her and sent it off to US WEEKLY with the headlines "Celebrities: They eat fruit like the rest of us!" I was eyeing her from the mangoes when I realized, I don't even want to buy mangoes. So I moved over to the nectarines and she walked by me there too! So I started to fruit stalk her. Then I realized, this is silly, I stopped watching the show mid season, I need to stop stalking mid fruit section. As I moved along, I noticed that blonde beach boy 2 of blond beach boy 1 and 2 was doing the same thing I was. He was in no way interested in those lemons. He was just using them to get a good look at her. Just another day in the 'Woods.

Maybe before the summer's over, I'll pull one of those all nighters, where I get to hear the birds chirp and see the sun come up. For now its bed time.

OMG! Why didn't anyone tell me????


The best show I have NOT been watching all summer: So You Think You Can Dance. I caught the finale tonight, and realized that I've missed a great great show. And I thought nothing was on during the summer. Oh sadness, oh woe. But goooo Sabre! (Except that fanning yourself when you cried thing...perhaps you need to work on a new "Oh my god I can't believe I won" reaction.")

And to top it off, I've just added High School Musical to my queue. What has the world come to? But I must find out the intrigue that is behind this so-called Zack Efron. I MUST! Will report back later.

Does anyone listen to Martini Shot?? Man there was a great one tonight, his stories are the stuff great blogs are made of! I only wish I have my own 5 minutes on the radio. The things I would rant about!

Like online dress shopping. Normally I wouldn't do it. But in this situation, I had to. And of course, it doesn't fit quite right. But i guess at least it fits, maybe I can get it tailored.

I would rant about (oh, there goes the neighbor upstairs...tromp tromp tromp...and his little dog too...humph)...well, I guess I would rant about neighbors! But i've already done that.

I'd rant about how orchestra people are usually annoying. We are, we really are. Maybe its because we were all nerds in school. Maybe we're so super intelligent that we don't know how to talk to the common man and have to belittle everyone else because we went to schools like Juliard. Woooo...Juliard. We know everyone else doesn't really care where we went to school, but I guess when we pay so much for it you have to name drop once in a while. (Ok, that's uncalled for, I know. But i am on a roll.) For some reason we ALL feel the need to blurt out stuff to the conductor. "Where where where?" Maybe if we just shut up and paid attention we would've heard what he said the first time. We think our non-sensical jokes are funny when they're not. We feel the need to keep playing and hold everyone else up when the conductor has obviously stopped. And, last but not least, we always feel the need to rush. Fast fast and faster. Those are speeds which we operate on. Go us.

Been doing some wedding type stuff recently. About ready to send out about 30 invites for a bridal shower. This whole process is quite interesting. I WANT to get into it. All the frills and pink and princess ways of thinking and whatnot. Not that it has become a chore because its not and because I've chosen this position, but I just can't seem to get excited about it and get REALLY into it. It's become a task. A task that I will do a kickass job in, but nothing like the thrill of working with a pen and paper, or molding some clay, or heck even editing! I guess it is mine to do what I choose to do, so I should change my attitude, and make it fun and exciting in my own way. But really...the idea of sitting with 30 other women coo-ing over stuff is just well...I'll leave it at that. And what about decorations? I didn't decorate my 2 yr apt, and its taken me months to finish my current bedroom. I don't decorate. I can organize and stack and make things nice and neat, but....to decorate a whole party? oy vey. Off now to lick some envelopes.

What to do??

Ok, i'm posting this to the internet void in hopes that my readers (those who are left) can help me. I have this neighbor, you see. This upstair neighbor. Who...just walks extremely loud. Granted, we all have wood floors. That probably doesn't help much. But still, he walks as though he is 300 pounds. I've never seen him, so maybe he does weigh 300 pounds. But most likely not. Once in a while he drops heavy thing or two or three, and that makes a loud thump. And the thing that annoys me the most...he seems to like to walk over to the part of the floors that creak the most, and enjoy being able to sway back and forth over the creaky floor area.

Ok, no. I'm sure that's not what he's doing, but that's what my imagination is telling my brain. I'm about 70% annoyed, yet 30% curious in what exactly he is doing when I hear these noises. I like to make up things in my head when I don't know the facts.

I've been living with this for months, but haven't exactly been able to get myself to knock on his door. I just can't do it! Help me people! What do i say to this guy? "Hey, stop walking around your apt?" What if he yells at me? What if he retaliates back by walking louder? What if he turns his TV up louder now after midnight? Oy vey. The joy of upstairs neighbors.

Last week, I did something HUGE! I gave blood for the first time ever. I've just always been scared to death of doing it, the needle, the blood (ohhh the blood), the questions...everything. But our building was having a blood drive and I finally decided it was time. And you know what? It was NBD. I was nervous walking in, but by the time I left, I was feeling good, and even got some cookies (and a coupon for a pint of ice cream! Pint for a pint, they call it. Though...apparently 12oz is a pint in California..?). I did feel a bit woozy and tired for the rest of the day, but I think next time I do it, I'll do it towards the end of the day. I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I just looked away and squirmed a little, but here I am, still alive, and probably saved someone's life too. Hooray beer. Hooray ME!

Somehow, watching a movie set in nyc just makes everything better again. Especially when they're about a cute girl realizing she's a lesbian, and then coming out, which is first triggered by kissing her brother's wife on their wedding night.

I should never write movie reviews. "Y'know, the one with that guy from that movie who saves that girl from that show who starred in the movie with her ex-husband's wife." The End.


Today was a crappy day. I can admit it. Crappy crap crap. Nothing in particular or out of the ordinary happened. It was just one of those days. It was beyond one of those days. It was one of those "I need to take a breather and hide in the bathroom for just a sec before I lose it all over ..."nothing." But, it's ok. I've had my dose of nyc, pretty girls in pretty outfits and ballroom dancing, and now, off to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Upper Dryer Instructions:
1. Make sure there are no small children, pets, or foreign objects in dryer.

Good thing I read instructions...not like those damn kids from jumanji.

Why aren't pretty girls ever happy?

I just passed by this girl on the way out of the laundry room, and smiled at her, tried to be polite and say hello. Beautiful, gorgeous girl, and she just glared. Well ok, she barely looked at me. But she didn't look like she was very happy. And the fact that the likes of me in my laundry gear was even passing by her seemed to piss her off even more. If I looked like I belonged on Dawson's Creek, first of all, I'd be wondering why I wasn't on The Hills instead, but second of all, I'd be happy all the time!

Ok, fine. I'm exaggerating a bit. Her anger probably had nothing to do with me, and I would never want to be on The HIlls. But really, why are all the pretty ones always wearing a scowl with their gucci? Are happy smiley faces soooo last season? Maybe they're not eating enough. If i wasn't eating I'd be angry like them too.

But if I have any power in this world, I'm declaring smiles a thing of the future! It'll be the next IT item. It'll be on every "gotta have it" section in the magazines. By golly, it will be required on every pretty girl in the world!

Oh to play my violin again! All that silent counting in my head. All those flats and sharps. The thrill of playing a measure correctly. Vonnie laughing at my blank stare when everyone else laughed at the conductor's joke. (Tell me you didn't know what he was talking about either vonne, TELL ME!!!) It's all so thrilling. I may even practice before our next rehearsal, that's how pumped I am. I wish I had a button that said "I Heart Orchestra." I wouldn't wear it, but I'd be happy that I have one.


And, WTF is all this with JJ Abram's secret project??? I need to know! I love JJ! Too bad the only time we met, I just happened to be wearing that ugly page uniform. What a waste of a good meet.

Question: What does SH and Al Pacino have in common?

Answer: A love for TARGET.


Possibly? Is it possible that I shop at the same Target as Al Pacino??? Sunday when I was there, I happened to pass by a lady who, with a knowing smirk on her face, ask this very hairy man, "Are you who I think you are?" She said it in a tone as if they were old friends who happened to pass by each other at the grocery store. So upon hearing this, I quickly turned around to see who she was talking to. The man smiled a guilty smile, but didn't say much. At least I don't think so, or couldn't hear it. So I went about my line, looking back every now and then wondering, is it him? Is it him? I think it was.

You'd think Al would have assistants. But it was a Sunday so maybe the assistant had the day off. OR! Maybe Al just runs his own errands? After all, he is human, and humans shop at Target. Not knowing very much about him, he SEEMS like the low maintenance type....the type to run their own errands. But, I can also see him having someone do his errands for him, to avoid crowd commotions and whatnot. I mean, can you imagine? If one day at the bank the man in front of you who turns around to borrow your pen turns out to be Al Pacino? Boy, that'd be awesome.

So, who knows. Who knows if it was really him. It could've been a look alike who loves that type of attention so he dresses more like Al, and lets his hair and facial hair grow out like Al. Or, maybe it was really AL. I guess we'll never know.



Hair update: 5 inches!!! Halfway there!! Ok, maybe 4 if I want to avoid a boy-bob. But...there is progress.

So, after dropping Fern off after a great night of salsa, I passed by the Burbank Kwik E Mart to see if i can get a peek. After all, it was 1:30 in the morning, and who would be there right? WRONG. So wrong. There was a line out the door and around the corner! To get into the Kwik E Mart! Geesh. I guess everyone had the same idea I did. It's too late to have any duff beer right now anyways.

And...I feel silly for saying this.........................but I kinda want to go to the Justin Timberlake concert. Is that wrong?

The gym is what happens when you breakup with the chiropractor. Breakups really shouldn't be this hard.

So I very very very recently joined a gym. Today, I decided to go for the first time, and took a class. Boy, was it an hour of comedy. Forget Everyone Loves Raymod. A full hour of watching me in this class would've been enough laughs for 2 full episodes of that show. But..at least I can admit that right? I feel like i get myself in these situations A LOT. Situations where I'm not completely comfortable, look incredibly dorky while being uncomfortable, and feel like I'm 30 years older than my real age, while standing next to a blonde bubbly younger Tiffany with very...incredibly pliable legs. Ugh. Seriously. Maybe her name was Jane, who knows, but she was very blonde, (the cute curly kind...OF COURSE!) and was doing very well in class. How is it that these girls can keep their hair down when they know they're going to be working up a sweat!
At least I was moving...(so I keep telling myself).

AND! Only in the Wood can men look 50 times better doing what I can barely do. We had to break off into men and women groups, and OMG, all the guys were so incredible. Will I take this class again? Most likely. But I think I need to work up to it first. Though, I don't think I can ever get up to the level of these boys. Neh-vahhh...

AND! Walking through the gym was like a treasure trove of blogs. Every corner I turned, every man or woman that walked by me, was a blog waiting to be written. So, yes, I was a little bit (ok, ALOT bit) intimidated today in the gym. But I'll make this blog my motivator. If ever I'm low on blogs, I'll tell myself that posts upon posts are waiting for me at the gym, and that I MUST go to the gym, no excuses, as I cannot let down my readers. Yes. That's it! Bada bing!

Food and I have not been on friendly terms lately. For some reason, I get this odd feeling that food wants to....wants to kill me? I can't imagine food doing such a thing, as we have been lifetime buddies. It's been with me through the good times, and the bad. And when bad times do roll, with food around, its really not that bad! But in the past 2 or 3 weeks, we've had a falling out, and I can't imagine what I did to make food angry with me. It makes me very sad. I miss food. I miss lots of food. I hope we kiss and make up soon. Hopefully over a good hearty meal.

As for being tagged, well, I feel as though I've been tagged before. In fact, I know I have. In fact fact, I don't even think i fulfilled my last tag...as I couldn't think of a last thing. But I think this one is a bit different, so once again, here they are, 8 things you don't know about me (and hopefully they're not repeats of the last tag!):

1. I've never broken a bone. Knock on wood. I just did.
2. I think carrots are evil. You laugh, but they are.
3. I'm afraid of butterflies. (But i think everyone knows that by now.)
4. I can sing the greek alphabet fowards, and say the latin alphabet backwards, up to M, and then it kinda slows down to a halt.
5. I mistakenly put a North Carolina quarter in the South Carolina hole on my quarter map, and now I can't get it out.
6. I wouldn't be able to tell you where all 50 states are if given a blank map. (...thus my quarter map)
7. Ok, I just lied, I have a quarter map because I just like to collect those nifty state quarters. I STILL wouldn't be able to tell you where the states are.
8. I once went to a John Tesh concert, and then shook his hand.

The End.

Tagging....(gosh, who still reads this blog?)
Miss Parker? The Warrens? Pen and M? E? Jenn? Missy? (oh missy, you're such a tease.)

The Lake House is actually a pretty good movie. I know I made fun of it in a previous post, and I even thought about that as I watched it. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm not saying you're great, but I'm saying you were, hey, not bad. Things didn't quite make sense, but hey, I went along with the whole thing, and it was actually pretty good.

Summer is here, where did the time go?

Missy...!!! You don't even know how happy i am to hear from you! And then to read a new post! Holy cow, that was a real treat. Its funny, because I've been thinking about you lately, and what you're up to and how you're doing. You know the poster you got for me in spain? The old moulin rouge one with the couple dancing? I got a frame for it at ikea a while ago, and it fit perfectly. (I guess they have standards for these things, but i'm always amazed when things fit perfectly.) It's in my room and I see it every day. And i always think, what a perfect poster missy got me. It is so me. I love it SO MUCH.

Get this: At my last apartment i was in for 2 years, that was the only thing i hung on the wall. So much wall space...just one framed poster. And now, in my new apartment...hm...ok, so I have 1 other thing up in the living room, my painting from college, and your poster sitting in its perfect ikea frame sitting on my dresser in my bedroom. I actually just finished decorating my bedroom this weekend. It was my mission to decorate this time around, and so far I've only been able to complete the bedroom. A friend came over before I decided to decorate, and apparently, he said I lack a woman's touch. I know! Whack, right? Right. But really, I'm like a man when it comes to decorating. Which means, not at all. Actually that's not true. I think most guys can decorate better than I can.

So congratulations on your adulthood. I hope to be joining you sometime...in the near future? Eh...just the future.

I'm glad to see you're back on the blog wagon. And for those of you who thought I have fallen off...I know i keep saying i'll come back, but dang, they sure make it hard! Everytime i try to sign on i have to reset my password. What a pain. But whatevs. I can't use that as an excuse forever now can I? INBD.

Miss, my email's still the same...holla back.

Utter disgust and horror.

So from time to time, I've been giving my readers an update on my boy Milo. In recent days, I was abhorred to find that he is now the male lead in Fergie's latest music video. After I finished retching in my mouth, I tried to compose myself enough to finish watching the rest of the video. They're on the bed making out, nearly naked. Really Milo, really? He's got ugly tats all over himself. Necessary Milo? Really? The lyrics to the song is horrible. What were you thinking Milo, and who is your agent? Cuz Imma gone kick his ass. "And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"? Seriously Milo? More like, I'm gonna miss you like I miss you in Gilmore Girls. Or, I'm gonna miss you like I miss Beverly Hills 90210, the highschool years.

And ok, somebody's gotta tell him, the bad boy image is getting OLD. Really, isn't it the goal of an actor to get as many diverse roles as possible? Wouldn't that make one TRULY a great actor, being able to chameleon yourself into different personae? Rather than always playing the same old boy with teen angst. Really milo, you're not a teenager anymore...

If you're reading this Milo, I still love you. I just wish you would make better choices. Heroes? That was a great move (though i've yet to see you on that show, i hope when the dvds come out you don't disappoint me like you did in this video). Gilmore Girls? That was a good stepping stone for you. A music video with FERGIE? Nuh-uh. Back up. Back waaaaaay up, and re-evaluate.

I've cringed so many times watching this video that I'm devloping premature wrinkles. You know how many times I deal with this video a day at work? Ugh, you don't want to know.

I hope you read this. You can do so much better. I know you can. Do it for me.

Thanks.

I don't know where i've been lately. Out in la-la land I suppose. And since i now live in la-la land, it makes sense, no? I can't really say i've gone on hiatus to do some deep soul searching, or self help, though there have been some of that in the past months. I guess i'll just say i left on hiatus, and leave it at that.

Only a few weeks left before the Sound of Music sing along! Going with the fam this year, and i just can't wait. The last time i went, it was such a magical experience that i thought i'd take the fam this time. For those of you who haven't been, its fantastic, and I highly recommend it. If you love the movie Sound of Music, if you love singing outloud in the shower, car, or public, if you love talking to movies as though the characters can actually hear you if you yell at them enough, if you love the whole experience of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then you will love this. That's my 30 second ad. Go to hollywoodbowl.com to learn more.

Friends. I miss my friends that moved away. It's good to hear they're doing well though. Today I read this:
"When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absense, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

So true...so true. But then again, the reasons I loved them was clear before they even moved away...so what of that? Who knows.


On to more significant matters: my hair.

ha.

my hair, oh my hair. I don't know if it will last to 10+ inches. But it must! But it won't. But it must! Oh, i'm torn. I need motivation. Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Something that will stop me from randomly cutting it on a hot summers day in august, like a drunk dialing his ex at 3am in the morning...because inevitably, I will wake up with regret's nasty morning breath in my face. sigh. 3 inches down...7 more to go. Ok, who am i kidding, its really only at 2 right now. Damn. Damn that lady who even repeated my request: "just a trim, right?" A trim my ass. I could be on my way to 6 right now...instead i'm back at 8. 8 more to go. LE SIGH.

Tuesday night- note to self: I will not be Prufrock. I will be better than HE.

So it's true what they say about asparagus and pee.

Ok ok ok.

I know I've been absent. If this blog was my job I'd be very unemployed by now. But professors can take a hiatus, so why can't I, right? Granted, I'm not off vacationing in the tropics or writing an important paper that would change lives...I've just been busy. With stuff.

Between being sick alot, moving to the city, going to Vegas, taxes, rock and rolling with the band, car troubles, birthdays, and of course, work, I haven't had much time or energy to stop and write it all down. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the swing of things very soon.

Stay tuned though, for the next post: Life after Burbank; A tale of the big city.

Fantasy #24

Magritte and I are great friends. How we became friends in the first place is a bit unclear to both of us, since we are of completely different social circles. Him being an artist would never think twice to hang out with the likes of me. But he finds in me: a connection, an understanding of his ideas. I find in him: pure brillance. Thus, our friendship.

We are in Paris, sipping on our caffés. He normally doesn't like to come to Paris, he finds the city too bougie. But at my insistence, he agrees. He rings me at my flat which overlooks the city, and wonders to himself how I could ever live in such a city. He shakes his head in pity.

As we sit and sip, he tells me about his latest painting. I tell him he's used the umbrella too many times, though the apple looked delicious enough to eat. He smiles, taking in my criticism, and I smile in return, knowing he will do what he wants. We spend the next hour discussing different possibilities on the perfect title for another painting. I tell him about the latest song I am writing, and he gives me suggestions for lyrics. All the while, a gentle breeze blows across a perfect spring afternoon. Before we know it, the day is over, and it is time for us to part, with promises of meeting up again real soon.

The End.

Tonight I said goodbye to a dear dear friend of mine that is moving away. He is moving up first to start a new job while she stays and looks for a job, sell their home, etc. So there was no finality. No grand goodbyes. He'll be back soon to move them both up, a party will be had, and so on and so forth. It's not really the end End. Unless we keep telling each other that to make ourselves feel better...

So we went and had dinner, went back to their place, then I said goodbye as I do everytime I'm at their home, and when I left, it almost felt like a typical night out with them. Until a few steps later, when it hit me again, and tears welled up as I quickly walked to my car. Sure I'll see him again. And she'll still be here for a while. And they won't be TOO far away. But I just know it won't be the same. My dear friends, my married couple of fun, strength, love and friendship, will soon be gone, and our relationship - though it will still be there, won't be the same. I guess proximity does really bring people together. These are the changes I don't look forward to. 3 Extra weeks of daylight savings time? Yes. Good friends moving away? No.

I want to be a LION, but most times I am a mouse. And I don't even like cheese. I want to be strong, ferocious, fearless, QUEEN of the jungle....instead, I fret and eat my pointless cheese. Today I realized I fret too much. Ok, that's a lie. I KNOW I fret too much. I've known. I'm what they call a worrywart, whoever they are. I hate them.

Today I almost signed myself up for a year of who knows what. I was <-> that close to putting money down for an apt. But at the last minute...more like half hour ago, I backed out. It just didn't feel right, as much as I wanted it. I went back and forth all day about whether my hesitation was due to fear of change. Though it makes me uncomfortable, I am welcoming change right now, I'm open to being open. So if it wasn't that stopping me, and since I couldn't quite point my finger on what was, I opted out. The whole day I fretted back and forth. Yes or no. No then yes. Yes and no. Now I feel better. Plus, it was as if my yahoo horoscope knew what I was going through! It said not to rush into a decision today. Of all days I could've gotten that message. But it was delivered today. What would I do without yahoo horoscopes to tell me how to live my life??

Changes are coming. People moving hither and thither. The weather. The daylight. Lots more to come, I feel it.

Hello Friends!

No, I have not disappeared. I've just been tag teaming 2 jobs for the last week or so. But I'm back. Slowly but surely.

So I'm not an Oprah fan. I know shes done great things, and has come really far, and is a powerful woman and so on and so forth. Everyone knows that. I just never knew why people in her audiences...all these middle aged women, LOVE her SO MUCH. She's not really funny. Not that she's NOT funny, she's just not particularly funny, like say, an Ellen Degenerous. She's seems really into herself..she's always checking to see how she looks in the monitors. She cuts off her guests...sometimes kind of rudely. And she made her live studio audience (and anyone who tuned in to this particular episode - of which I am particularly guilty of) endure a 20 min segment on her getting her ears pierced. Now just having gotten my ears pierced for the first time myself recently, I know it can be pretty exciting. But dozens of millions of women have gotten their ears pierced, its nothing new. It's not like she was building the Atom bomb or baking a secret recipe chocolate cake from scratch. NO, she was just having her ears pierced. Big whoop.

Anyways, I"m getting off track. Like I said. I'm no Oprah fan. But tonight I caught her one hour prime time special on that all girls school she built in Africa, and suddenly, I have this new found respect for her. Sure, the special was a bit self promoting. But if one woman who builds a school in a third world country that helps hundreds of little girls in said country wants to promote herself and how great she is, ON TOP OF what an awesome thing she did for those girls, then go ahead, Oprah. Be my guest!

I'm sure there's lots of negative controversy surrounding this school that I don't know about, and I still have to think more about what the repercussions and consequences- good or bad- are, but on the surface, it seems like an awesome thing that she did. And she genuinely (and genuine is the keyword here, often times I really don't find her to be genuine) sounds like building this school has been an incredible dream come true for her. I mean, wouldn't it be for anyone? To have that much power to change so many lives, for the better? One can only dream to have such a dream.

I was on the verge of tears watching this special. These girls have gone through so much, and here I am, living in LA, working in entertainment, complaining about my commute. I'm so lucky I have it so good. And I really do try not to forget that.

Sometimes I wonder if I should move away somewhere and help little children, or the very poor. But in reality, I wouldn't be able to hack it. I'm too spoiled in my life with running water and flushing toilets.

But enough complaining. I know what I've done and what I have yet to do to further myself, my neighbors, my planet. Are you able to say the same for yourself?

V day is almost upon us, and I simply refuse to even acknowledge its existence, other than in the form of 2 v-day cupcakes that the lady at starbucks forced me to pre-order by smiling politely and telling me that both flavors are yummy. But i figure, pretty cupcakes are sustenance for the body, and I simply can't get through the non existent holiday without sustenance, thus, picking up these vday related cupcakes do not in any way reflect my acknowledgement of the day, I simply need it for survival purposes.

Now that we've gotten that straightened out...

Ok ok, i realize my readers don't like it when i make large generalizations when they clearly know i'm implying a specific story that I'd rather not share. But you have to understand...sometimes i simply cannot share. "Then don't blog about it!" you say? But but...blogging is my one way of venting to the internet void, so please let me have just that, and for a few posts every couple weeks or so, just live in ambiguity whilst you read my blog? Pretty please? Only after I vent can I then get on with more random and pointless stories, as so many people tell me my stories are.

So now, a story for you, in the form of a letter to the culprit who left me very disgruntled this weekend:

Hey JERK!!!

To the bastard who stole my wallet out of my purse saturday night, have you no decency? You could've easily taken just the cash, bought yourself a nice drink and some smokes, but no, you had to take everything out of the wallet. I hope this hangs in your conscious for the rest of your life, but seeing how you could even go into a girl's purse in the first place and steal her wallet just shows that maybe you have no conscious at all. If you're reading this, congratulations for even knowing how to use the computer, next time use your head and think about what you're doing. Yea, I'm also stupid for leaving my stuff unattended, so thanks but no thanks for teaching me a lesson. But still, that was a shitty thing to do to someone who was just looking to have a good time, SAME REASON why you were there that night. I hope you're reading this because I have one word for you: KARMA.

Randomness

My oh my. My readers are getting testy...that is troubling. Do you want that I put a cork in it? Or do want that I offer my readers some metaphorical dope? Please be less vague next time, I am at a loss for how to proceed. And what's with all the commentators with no real names?

In any case, I feel like I haven't mentioned my boy Milo in a while. Just because I don't talk about him doesn't mean I don't think about him. Yes, yes, I realize he's on a hit show now. A hit show that I have not been able to catch...perhaps in DVD form somewhere down the line. But I am so very happy for him. It must get frustrating for him to be on show after cancelled show, so I'm glad he's found a permanent home now. At least for a few seasons more right? Keep up the good work Milo V.

I went to catch a show in silverlake on Tuesday night and realized that, if ever I decide to move there, I'd need to have lots of hair to fit in. More than I have now. I mean lots. In the form of a full on beard. Like the kind that connects to my Dylan McKay sideburns. Or I'd need to be half my size and wear skinny jeans all the time. That seems like too much work, so I'm gonna have to go with the full on beard- I wouldn't have to do anything to it except let it be. Hipsters are always trying to be cool by being anti-cool, so if I'm anti-hipsters, does that make me anti-anti-cool, therefore, making me cool by being myself? Awesome. Actually, I love you hipsters, I really do. I'm just jealous I can't look like you.

Speaking of skinny jeans...who the heck came up with them? Don't they know that only a certain type of girl (and boy) can wear them, thereby leaving out the other 90% that can't? Really now. This is something that John Stossel would be outraged about. At least, he should be. For the sake of us, the 90%.

In conclusion, NPR and PBS are in trouble. You can do your share and save them HERE.

Thank yee kindlee.

Despite my very best efforts to be the smart, sophisticated, modern, PC, cosmopolitan girl of the 21st century, I still fall short sometimes. Everyone does, I'm sure. But I don't want to be like everyone. Most of the time I know better NOT to do something, but I do it anyways, thinking that it won't affect me, but it usually does. Why do we go against our better judgement? Because it's enticing, that's why. Oh...the joys of being human, and not a robot.

I bet if I was a robot, I'd do a killer lock n' pop. Being merely human, I won't even attempt it.

Thanksgiving

Tonight I am feeling extremely thankful for everything I have in my life. Yes, we should all be thankful everyday, yes yes. But we're not. Sometimes I complain about this. Other times I bitch about that. Sometimes I'm jealous that people have what I want. Other times I'm filled with an overwhelming need to just...want.

Tonight I ask for nothing.

Tonight I went over to the drugstore to buy soap. I was thankful to have money to buy the soap. And a big drugstore to buy the soap. A drugstore!! With enough drugs to keep a whole town painfree. And then I drove home. In a car!! In a vehicle that actually takes me places, and takes my friends places. A vehicle that gives me freedom. And then I came home to my apt...a roof over my head. A head which, is full of hair! I should be so lucky to have so much hair, while people are losing handfuls of it by the minute, whether it be cancer patients, balding men, or even balding women! I have gas to cook food and keep me warm, a fridge full of food. A TV! A computer!! I have a computer to blog with. I have a full time job to wake up for. With people that I like. People that I look forward to seeing. I work with music videos all day for crying out loud. How many people get to do that??? I have my family, my dear dear friends, and my health. (ok that last one is a bit shaky, but for the most part it's there) I'm thankful to be of normal height, to have a functional brain (though some may argue otherwise, but for the most part, its functional), to have all my extremeties available to me. I'm lucky that this week, I have no annoying little papercuts on my hands. I mean really, I can go on and on.

Tonight, I am overcome with a sense of gratitude and appreciation. Most people know who to ultimately thank in situations like these. But alas, I am not tight with God, or God Jr. Allah does not come over for tea. The last time Buddha and I had a heart to heart was probably in my past life, if I had one. For me, I do not know who is responsible for my great fortune, except possibly myself. But all this seems to be bigger than I, and way beyond me and my magical powers. So I will send it out to the great internet void who, with all its spam and viral video capabilities, will surely find whoever or whatever is responsible, and let them know that I'm grateful, I'm thankful, I'm appreciative, for everything I have tonight.

Am running out of DVDs to watch while I camp on the couch.

Interesting fact: did you guys know that Dr. Callie Torres, before working at the Seattle Grace Hospital, was actually THE grocery checker Rose "what-a-beautiful-name-Rose" in you've got mail? It's always nice to see people move their way up. I mean really, from the grocery checker to surgeon? That is quite the jump.

I've always thought I had a good solid DVD collection. I only stock it up with movies I know I will watch over and over, in case of rainy days, sick days, or an emergency broadcast system type of lock-yourself-in-your-house days. And of course, the collection has its share of chick flicks, which I always thought were solid well made chick flicks until I recently re-watched some of them.

Take The Wedding Singer, for instance. Instantly, you think: classic, right? It's got the funny, it's got the silly, it's got the romance, its got the Billy Idol, a rapping granny with meatballs...what more can you ask for? But after watching it again recently, I think I fell out of love with it. This last time, it struck me that Drew Barrymore's character must have been written by a man. And you know what? I just imdb'd it, and surprise surprise, I'm right. I'll save you some time, and not get into my "closet feminist" tirade, but just watch the movie, you'll know what I mean.

And then there's You've Got Mail, my absolute favorite chick flick of all. I still think its wonderfully written and executed and all that, but the ending always leaves me a little perturbed. So Kathleen Kelly finally realizes that the man she's been exchanging emails with is actually her business nemesis turned friend turned possible love connection Joe Fox. And what does she say in this moment of realization? "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly." Which, yknow, is kinda sweet in the moment since we know that her relationship has blossomed with Joe Fox. But seriously, does she not see that he's been manipulating her throughout their whole relationship? He pretty much tricked her into liking him.

Someday I'd like to see the "After Ending," the story that doesn't get told as the credits roll. If I ever run into Nora Ephron, which I hope I will someday, I will have to grill her about this ending.

Until then, the balcony is closed.

Yesterday I decided to have some hot water and honey, and as soon as I had my first sip, I was reminded of New Jersey. Other things that remind me of new jersey? Raisin bran, and cheesy doritos. Funny thing how these memories work.

Yesterday I sneezed in the morning and I swear, it felt like a bomb went off in my head. I had to take several seconds to gather myself and my composure. I vowed then never to sneeze again.

8 hours later, I forgot my vow, and sneezed again. Another bomb off in my head, and another few seconds to regroup, plus another few more seconds to reprimand myself for breaking the vow.

Sneezing is the worst when you're trying to drive. Do you realize that you always sneeze with your eyes closed? And now that I've said that, you're going to try to sneeze with your eye open, just to prove me wrong. Well don't, they'll pop out. Just take my word for it. Whenever I sneeze in the car I feel like I'm going to get in an accident. For that few seconds I am in the dark...unable to see the baby in the street, or the car merging into my lane, or that sudden red light. Imagine if everyone in their cars sneezed at the same time. There would be pure chaos. Pandemonium. Someone should make that into a movie...

I'm not a smoker, so I'm not the most knowledgeable about these sorts of things, but,

I was just at the gas station, behind a guy who bought 6 packs of cigarettes from the attendant, stacked them up, and then went on his merry way. And while I was watching him stack the packs, it suddenly dawned on me: why would they sell such thing as cigarettes at a place loaded with fuel where anyone can just light up and possibly blow themselves - as well as others -up into little bitty pieces? Grocery stores, yes. 7-11s, yes. But gas stations?? I guess its not like anyone would light up at the gas station, but still, it boggles my mind.

So while people are quickly going down one at a time around me in this sick season, I thought I was untouchable, with some sort of super immunity system. I wash my hands, I take the nasty zinc pills, I remain in a positive mental state of non-sickness.
Well, turns out that I'm just slow...as with everything else. Joke's on me - haha.

Ok.

I just realized something: I've lost my inner dialogue.

No. I mean, its still there. I hear it all the time. I just lost the ability to blog my inner dialogue, and I think i know what happened. I used to blog alot more when I was living sex and the city (as in, living vicariously through dvds). I'd picture myself as carrie bradshaw, posing big questions, wondering why people do this or that, narrating my own life, my friends lives, the lives of people next to me in line at the grocery store. I didn't have a snazzy laptop like she did, but I had my thoughts, and I'd blog inside my head all the time, and thus the plentiful posts.

So what happened, you ask?

An American Girl In Paris, that's what. Big season 6 finale, mr big vs petrovsky, and of course, of course, Paris. And then that was it! The girls were just like that, *poof* gone from my life. Suddenly, my inner thoughts to myself transferred into words and sentences and paragraphs into this box with wires and googles and mice suddenly seemed completely ridiculous. It's because I didn't have carrie's inner dialogue anymore alongside mine, to justify my own inner dialogue so i don't seem all THAT crazy. And slowly, slowly, i stopped watching TV.

And I know what you're thinking. The fact that I'm even bringing up sex and the city is really ALL THAT CRAZY. But can it be? This crazy invention that we call television has become my muse?

No, it can't be. Because the things I blogged about were still drawn from life experiences, it wasn't all TV related.

So what really happened?

I don't know. I guess I'm still trying to figure that out. But for now, this is what I've got.