Oh orchestra...how I love thee. Let me count the ways....

1. no outwardly annoying types yet.
2. awesome music, challenging, yet playable.
3. i love my violin
4. all that counting and paying attention really works my brain. in a good way. and you know how hard it is to work my brain...

*Correction on previous post: I'm 26, not 25. Shit. I'm already slipping.

I'm not a competitor by any means. But when it comes to certain things, especially things that don't really matter, I find myself competing even when my competitors aren't the least aware that we're competition. I guess in this way (this way as in, the they-don't-know-we're-in-competition way), I've got a leg up! Today I found myself thinking about this girl I went to HS with, thinking about everything she accomplished in school, and gee golly, look at her now. I started comparing all the things that shes done, and all the things that i've done, even though- we don't talk to each other. I have no idea what goes on in her life. And vice versa. And I find myself competing and comparing secretly with people all the time. "She has nicer hair, but at least I have bangs. Ha! Take that, girl on the street I'll never meet!" And so on.

What is that all about?

I just need to chill out and remember that my life is pretty darn good. I always forget that. Why is that so easily forgotten? Especially in this world of drunk driving, jail, rehab, and bombed comebacks (sorry, just had to add that), the life I have is pretty darn good. In my 25 years I haven't been to jail yet (though, knock on wood and wait til i get this unending traffic violation resolved...), the only drug i'm currently doped up on is Nyquil (knocks you out, wake up refreshed!), and and...wait for it wait for it......

And i've got my bangs.

So...really. Life is good.

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a preachy blog. I just found my mind drifting about this person or that person and comparing myself to them that I needed to take this time and reassure and remind myself of my awesome-ness.

Therefore, dear reader. Please please please take this moment to think of three reasons why you're awesome as well. Put it in my comments so everyone else can see, because everyone should. I promise I won't compare my awesomeness to yours.



Really, you're just cheating yourself and the world if you don't do this. Besides, nobody reads this blog except for you anyways. ;-)

Conversation recently heard though my open window:

Guy 1: ...that girl? She's a married woman!
Guy 2: Dood! Did you ask her out?
Guy 1: Yea!


Didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation. The things I hear with the window open. People also like to sing as they walk by my window. Sometimes they're good. Mostly they're not.

Thank goodness for nyquil.

Currently: Pondering going out for ice cream, but that would mean getting dressed. Been holed up in the apt all day, scantily clad, joined by a broken AC and one small fan. Nonetheless, I still got alot accomplished. Of course, not as much as I wanted, but still has been a productive day. Debating whether to take another shower before bed. In the background: bad weight loss reality TV, not even the good one. Can't stand it, so lame, will turn off. Almost forgot, popsicles in fridge. On top of beer. Beer: cold. Me: hot. Apt: oven. Can't complete full sentences...

Yes. Yes I can.

I could go be more productive and hot, or I could just go sit in front of the fan, subject myself to more bad summer tv. Oh boy, the choices.

Bangs have been put away under these circumstances. They could never hack such weather. Ha. Sorry, anonymous, for there will be no pictures of them tonight! I hope you cry yourself to sleep!

Gotta go, beer and popsicle are waiting for me to kill them off. It's gonna be grand.

Bangs.

That's been the topic of conversation this week. I got some bangs last weekend. I don't know that I've ever gotten so many compliments on something before. Who knew? Who knew that if i revert back to my look from freshman year (thats highschool, not college), that I'd get so much positive feed back? In fact, so much that I'm a little bit jealous of the bangs. It's just hair, big deal, why do THEY get so much attention? What about me?? ME ME ME! No one cares about lil' old SH now that new bangs are in town.

SH made dinner!
Who cares, let's look at her bangs.

SH had to stay at work late.
But how are the bangs holding up to the stress?

SH banged (no pun intended) her head on the low tree branch.
Are the bangs OK??

SH is down on the ground crying in pain.
Stop writhing so much SH, we can't see the bangs.


Sigh.
"With great bangs come great responsibility. It is only to be used for Good, and big foreheads. Nothing else." - a wise dood


That's it for this post. Next post, I will attempt sarcasm.

So the other day i was in the grove parking lot, circling around, trying to find parking. I finally followed a lady who was going to her car, only to turn the corner, and see that another car was waiting in the vicinity.

Now what are the rules on parking spots? Do I get it because I followed her? Or do they get it because they're waiting right next to where she parked?

In any case, had it been a family of 3 or more, or even a cute looking couple, I would've just let them have it without giving it a second thought (even though i'd been circling around and around for a while). Instead....it was a white top down bmw. With two girls in it. Two 18-ish rich snobby girls who were dressed like they looked snobby. And while the lady pulled out, it was me vs. them. And they won. They took the spot. Partly because I'm a pushover, and partly because there's two of their snobby little asses, and I was only one. And yes, even in their short shorts and long hair, the two of them could've kicked my ass. Ugh. I hate these situations. i know this is prejudiced, but i hate when priviliged people get what they want. It's like they won. And I hate it when they win.

I wish i could've pulled a Kathy Bates ala Fried Green Tomatoes. In fact, while we waited for the lady to pull out, during the minutes when there was a staring show down between me and the girls, I thought about pulling the Kathy Bates. But...again, two of them, one of me. And I'm not as old as Kathy Bates was in the movie, I don't know that I'm more insured than the girls.

Ugh, things like this piss me off. Especially when I pass by the same girls in my cirlcle around the parking lot for the Xth time, who now have gotten out of their BMW and is now putting their designer sunglasses on and tossing their gucci bags over their shoulders.

What is a girl to do? Nothing. Keep looking for the next empty spot.

Just finished up adding some ram to my computer. I feel like such a cool nerd. Hooray for ram!!

Word of the night: Offen Bach. Not sometimes Bach. But Offen Bach. hahahahahahha. awesome.

So, final word on HSM. You should definitely see it......................IF you are between the ages of 5 and 12! If you don't fall between that...or within a year or two, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT touch it with a ten foot pole. And this is coming from someone who often acts as though she is between the ages of 5 and 12 (but...more like a mature 13). I'll let the teeny bops have Zack Efron. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Mmm...fish........fried.........

Whoa whoa.

Why didn't anyone inform me?? Apparently, I'm a working mom. Today I received the Aug/Sept issue of Working Mothers. It wasn't even a mistake, it had my full name and address printed on it and everything. Geez, time flies. Suddenly I'm getting married, having kids, and working on m career all at the same time, without knowing it. I wonder if my kids resent me for working a full time job? I know my dead plants do. Muahahaha.

Haven't had time to flip through it yet, but it IS the back to school issue. That's huge for moms, isn't it?

I wonder if they have any "easy packed lunch" ideas in this issue. I always try to steal those from Good Morning America segments, or random articles on the net around this time of year, and apply them when making my own grown up lunch. Except...these easy lunch ideas always involve some sort of carrot sticks or string cheese combo...both of which I hate. Why can't they ever be: Insert Ho-Ho, snack-sized Flaming Hot Cheetos, V-8 Splash with mini vodka bottle into lunch bag, shake well, serves 1? Easy peasy, ready in 2 minutes.

dammit...suppose to be in bed 1/2 hour ago and i'm still here!! so much for the pep talk...now i'm listening to the rest of the album...AGAIN!

I can't stop listening to sia. I'm in love with her music. I've been meaning to wean off these two albums and move on to something new but I just can't part with such sweetness.

Tonight I'm going to bed early. Currently listening to sia's "I Go To Sleep" for inspiration, and as a pre-bed pep talk. Tired. Tired. But so many potentially exciting projects in queue! I want to start immediately. But I must go to sleep. Better to start fresh. Ugh, but its hot. Speaking of queue, High School Musical is off of mine, as an email told me it has shipped, and will be here tomorrow. Oh, the anticipation. I will need some privacy this weekend (if not sooner) to be alone with this disc. If you don't hear from me, I'm probably unavoidably entertained by said disc. Check in to find out!

I don't know what it is, but I do not want to go to bed! I'm tired and sleepy...but the idea of bed right now seems so anticlimatic to yet another anticlimatic day. Maybe its the august heat. I'm parched as a fish. But I guess fish don't get thirsty. I'm parched as a piece of parchment. The kind that makes the scratchy noises when you write on it with a feather ink pen. Kinda antsy too. Already thinking about my cup of coffee tomorrow morning. Geez, that's such an addict thing to do.

Yesterday I saw ugly betty at whole foods in the fruit section. I should've taken a picture of her and sent it off to US WEEKLY with the headlines "Celebrities: They eat fruit like the rest of us!" I was eyeing her from the mangoes when I realized, I don't even want to buy mangoes. So I moved over to the nectarines and she walked by me there too! So I started to fruit stalk her. Then I realized, this is silly, I stopped watching the show mid season, I need to stop stalking mid fruit section. As I moved along, I noticed that blonde beach boy 2 of blond beach boy 1 and 2 was doing the same thing I was. He was in no way interested in those lemons. He was just using them to get a good look at her. Just another day in the 'Woods.

Maybe before the summer's over, I'll pull one of those all nighters, where I get to hear the birds chirp and see the sun come up. For now its bed time.

OMG! Why didn't anyone tell me????


The best show I have NOT been watching all summer: So You Think You Can Dance. I caught the finale tonight, and realized that I've missed a great great show. And I thought nothing was on during the summer. Oh sadness, oh woe. But goooo Sabre! (Except that fanning yourself when you cried thing...perhaps you need to work on a new "Oh my god I can't believe I won" reaction.")

And to top it off, I've just added High School Musical to my queue. What has the world come to? But I must find out the intrigue that is behind this so-called Zack Efron. I MUST! Will report back later.

Does anyone listen to Martini Shot?? Man there was a great one tonight, his stories are the stuff great blogs are made of! I only wish I have my own 5 minutes on the radio. The things I would rant about!

Like online dress shopping. Normally I wouldn't do it. But in this situation, I had to. And of course, it doesn't fit quite right. But i guess at least it fits, maybe I can get it tailored.

I would rant about (oh, there goes the neighbor upstairs...tromp tromp tromp...and his little dog too...humph)...well, I guess I would rant about neighbors! But i've already done that.

I'd rant about how orchestra people are usually annoying. We are, we really are. Maybe its because we were all nerds in school. Maybe we're so super intelligent that we don't know how to talk to the common man and have to belittle everyone else because we went to schools like Juliard. Woooo...Juliard. We know everyone else doesn't really care where we went to school, but I guess when we pay so much for it you have to name drop once in a while. (Ok, that's uncalled for, I know. But i am on a roll.) For some reason we ALL feel the need to blurt out stuff to the conductor. "Where where where?" Maybe if we just shut up and paid attention we would've heard what he said the first time. We think our non-sensical jokes are funny when they're not. We feel the need to keep playing and hold everyone else up when the conductor has obviously stopped. And, last but not least, we always feel the need to rush. Fast fast and faster. Those are speeds which we operate on. Go us.

Been doing some wedding type stuff recently. About ready to send out about 30 invites for a bridal shower. This whole process is quite interesting. I WANT to get into it. All the frills and pink and princess ways of thinking and whatnot. Not that it has become a chore because its not and because I've chosen this position, but I just can't seem to get excited about it and get REALLY into it. It's become a task. A task that I will do a kickass job in, but nothing like the thrill of working with a pen and paper, or molding some clay, or heck even editing! I guess it is mine to do what I choose to do, so I should change my attitude, and make it fun and exciting in my own way. But really...the idea of sitting with 30 other women coo-ing over stuff is just well...I'll leave it at that. And what about decorations? I didn't decorate my 2 yr apt, and its taken me months to finish my current bedroom. I don't decorate. I can organize and stack and make things nice and neat, but....to decorate a whole party? oy vey. Off now to lick some envelopes.

What to do??

Ok, i'm posting this to the internet void in hopes that my readers (those who are left) can help me. I have this neighbor, you see. This upstair neighbor. Who...just walks extremely loud. Granted, we all have wood floors. That probably doesn't help much. But still, he walks as though he is 300 pounds. I've never seen him, so maybe he does weigh 300 pounds. But most likely not. Once in a while he drops heavy thing or two or three, and that makes a loud thump. And the thing that annoys me the most...he seems to like to walk over to the part of the floors that creak the most, and enjoy being able to sway back and forth over the creaky floor area.

Ok, no. I'm sure that's not what he's doing, but that's what my imagination is telling my brain. I'm about 70% annoyed, yet 30% curious in what exactly he is doing when I hear these noises. I like to make up things in my head when I don't know the facts.

I've been living with this for months, but haven't exactly been able to get myself to knock on his door. I just can't do it! Help me people! What do i say to this guy? "Hey, stop walking around your apt?" What if he yells at me? What if he retaliates back by walking louder? What if he turns his TV up louder now after midnight? Oy vey. The joy of upstairs neighbors.

Last week, I did something HUGE! I gave blood for the first time ever. I've just always been scared to death of doing it, the needle, the blood (ohhh the blood), the questions...everything. But our building was having a blood drive and I finally decided it was time. And you know what? It was NBD. I was nervous walking in, but by the time I left, I was feeling good, and even got some cookies (and a coupon for a pint of ice cream! Pint for a pint, they call it. Though...apparently 12oz is a pint in California..?). I did feel a bit woozy and tired for the rest of the day, but I think next time I do it, I'll do it towards the end of the day. I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I just looked away and squirmed a little, but here I am, still alive, and probably saved someone's life too. Hooray beer. Hooray ME!

Somehow, watching a movie set in nyc just makes everything better again. Especially when they're about a cute girl realizing she's a lesbian, and then coming out, which is first triggered by kissing her brother's wife on their wedding night.

I should never write movie reviews. "Y'know, the one with that guy from that movie who saves that girl from that show who starred in the movie with her ex-husband's wife." The End.


Today was a crappy day. I can admit it. Crappy crap crap. Nothing in particular or out of the ordinary happened. It was just one of those days. It was beyond one of those days. It was one of those "I need to take a breather and hide in the bathroom for just a sec before I lose it all over ..."nothing." But, it's ok. I've had my dose of nyc, pretty girls in pretty outfits and ballroom dancing, and now, off to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Upper Dryer Instructions:
1. Make sure there are no small children, pets, or foreign objects in dryer.

Good thing I read instructions...not like those damn kids from jumanji.