Ursula vs Ariel

Today I signed away my soul.

I finally signed and faxed in my offer letter and accepted a full time job. Though the whole event didn't come without its difficulties! Perhaps a sign from the gods that I shouldn't have? Anyway, I tried faxing over the letter twice and HR didn't receive it on either occasion. So the third time i decided to go use the upstairs fax, only to discover at the upstairs fax that my two previous faxes somehow transmitted to the upstairs fax and were just sitting there! How that happened, I couldn't tell you. I even checked to make sure I dialed the right number the first two times, both with HR, and with the fax report printout (which is such a waste of paper, let me tell you....). The number I was trying to fax to wasn't even in the same area code, so how the heck could it have gotten sent upstairs? Very mysterious I tell ya.

And no, I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I know I'm really lucky to have gotten this job, and the particular position I'm in. I've had enough conversations and overheard conversations to know that lots of people would love to be in my particular situation right now. I know i have it good, other people should be so lucky as me. And deep down, I kind of feel like I should hand over this job to those people, not that they're more deserving, but those who would appreciate it much more than I do. But I'm going to do this job, and I'm going to do it well. At least until the economy gets a little better.

I just wish I was more excited about a new job. It's a big deal, starting a job. And usually you know you're going to stay for some time. But i'm not excited about this job like i should be. I'm doing it because its the practical thing to do right now. I think i feel so guilty because in the beginning i told myself that i wouldn't just take a job out of practicality, that'd it'd have to be something where i can learn and grow exponentially, and yet, here I am, signing away my soul. I probably wouldn't feel that way if i was doing something I loved.

But alas, we can't always have what we want. And if there are any co-workers reading this blog (ha! so very unlikely), please understand its nothing against you personally, you guys are great. It's just the nature of the work. And it's my blog, and my daily banterings, so i can do whatever i want! But in all honesty, I just need a forum where I can be honest about how i feel and not pretend like everything is peachy keen.

So i just gotta suck it up for a while, and know that i'll get as much out of it as i put in, as they always say.

That's all for today. Stay tuned next time, for my rant on High School Musical, the reality show. I know you can't wait, so come back soon!