I used to love living so close to work. My commute was 2 minutes, give or take, depending on whether I walked or biked that day. I could come home for lunch and take a nap if I so desired. Save money on gas and get some exercise at the same time. Lots of benefits, I tell ya.

I don't love it so much any more. It's not "MY" work anymore, its merely a past tense now. Living so close to your previous place of employment has its ups and downs. Mostly ups though. I still run into co-workers every now and again at the grocery store or crossing the street, or even randomly at Corner Bakery. I worked with a bunch of amazing, great people, which is why I love to run in to them when I do. And especially since I don't have much human encounter during my days anymore, seeing a familiar face is always exciting. But afterwards, it always reminds me of how I'm no longer there, part of that group. So the initial "Hey! How are ya! It's so good to see ya!" in the beginning is a great high until we both go our separate ways, and I realize that I'm not going to see them again in 5 minutes back at the office. It's quite a downer really. Especially when I come home and find myself in mid-conversation with the cat...that's trouble.

And running into management is always AWKWARD. The other day I found myself on the opposite side of the street just as the owner, Mr. X, happened to be walking towards my direction. My heart raced, my palms sweated. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't possibly turn and run away, that would've been too obvious. Yet there was no large hole in front of me to fall into. What was I to do? Afterall, this was the man who is essentially responsible for my unemployment. Probably not directly, but he had to ok the deal. So you can see how a large hole in the ground would've come in handy at this moment in time. And all I could think to do was smile and wave to him across the street, and quickly continue on my way. To this day I still can't think of another thing I could've done, though I wish I could.

It's time to move. Especially with this heat...

I love Grey's Anatomy. I really do. Being lost in a great show for three hours really makes you believe you're living their lives, instead of your own. Oh boo hoo, you say. Not that my life is all that bad, but its just that you end up experiencing all the ups and downs, the tension of the drama followed by comedic relief...all within 2+ hours, give or take some commercial breaks. I'm sure I have just as much drama and comedic relief in my life, its just stretched within a longer period of time so I don't notice it as much as the season finale of a wonderful show. But still, even in TV, things get resolved. Even if they leave you with a cliff hanger, you know that you can count on them to resolve the issue next season. Even if someone dies...that is a resolution in itself. And you have the writer to thank for it.

In my life, I'm my own writer, I have to depend on myself for conflict resolution, next steps, who to assassinate, who to vote off, who to come back to life, and so on. And most of the time, I don't have the answers!! I don't have a team of assistants to research assassination attempts for me, or write and write and rewrite the perfect line of dialogue in that not so perfect situation, or create the perfect wedding scenario so that the pariah cast member can finally leave the show in peace. After all, this isn't the Truman Show....or is it?

Question: How embarrassing is it to be crying over a book, at Starbucks, of all places?
Answer: Very.

Which is why I didn't. But I did have the overwhelming urge to tear up as I got to the end of my book. Then the music of Jack Johnson snapped me out of it as I suddenly realized I was at Starbucks, and not the comfort of my own home. Oh, how I do enjoy a good book with coffee on sundays.

Speaking of starbucks, my neighbor pissed me off today. Ok, pissed off is a bit harsh, I would maybe turn that down 60%. My neighbor, who practically lives at starbucks, who I see everywhere and can't seem to get away from, today became annoying. There's been several times when I've been reading on Sunday mornings at Starbucks where he would come over to me and try to make conversation. Usually, I would return the usual chit chat, ALWAYS feeling quite uncomfortable, but would be polite nontheless, even as he interrupts my Sunday morning reading time, even as it is perfectly obvious that I am engrossed in my book and do not care for conversation or interruptions, except for the occasional sips of coffee. During the silences between our chitchat, I'd usually continue to read my book, trying to make it obvious that I'm reading, while he hovers over me thinking about the next question to ask me. Usually, I'll somewhat engage. Today, he crossed the line.

As I was walking towards starbucks, he already saw me and said hi to me. I did not take this to be a good sign. Usually I'm not even aware that he's there until he creeps up on me, today, I was aware of his presence even before I started. However, by the time I sat down with my coffee, he was nowhere in sight in the store, so I got a good solid half hour of time alone. That is, until he came in and said hi. And then proceeded to hover over me as he talked about how nice the weather is. Yes, its quite nice, a bit hot now, I say. More hovering. Would you like something to drink? he asks. No thank you, I said, as I pick up my coffee cup to show him the obvious: I already had one. So he leaves to purchase his beverage. During this time, my sister calls me, and now my attention is on our conversation, not my book. My neighbor then decides to pull up a chair next to me, and proceeds to sit a little too close next to me as I'm having a conversation with my sister. It was at the moment that he sat down that I began to cringe and become highly annoyed. Let's go down the list, shall we?

Did I invite him to sit down next to me? Nope.
Did I invite him to engage in conversation with me? Nope.
Did I want him around while I was on the phone, possibly on a very personal conversation (which it wasn't, but it could've been!)? Nope.

He proceeded to sit there until I got off the phone. Even while I was on the phone I contemplated leaving the store, making up some excuse about having to be somewhere suddenly due to the phone call, and it was while I was on the phone that I became angry. Why should I be the one to leave? Why should I have to stress over making up an excuse to leave? Why should I always let him make ME feel uncomfortble? I got to Starbucks first, and I wanted to finish my book in peace, dammit!

So I got off the phone. Picked up my book, and in the politest way possible, said to annoying neighbor, who now seemed to have gotten comfortable sitting next to me with his coffee in hand, ready to pry in on my personal life as soon as I hung up: Do you mind if I just read?

To which he said, sure, but had a look of hurt in his expression. And after a few minutes, said goodbye to me and left.

Of course I feel bad. Of course. I know he's just an old man wanting some conversation and contact with another human being. And yes, I know that I'm not some rock star diva that no one can look at or talk to (a la Dr. Phil). But still, when I want to read, I want to read. Is that so bad?

How the heck did Felicity get in with the wrong crowd? She was suppose to go to med school, marry Ben, and live happily ever after in NYC with her cute tanks and jackets. Of course hang out with Noel from time to time cause they're best friends. But Ben wouldn't mind cause they have an understanding now (well not really, but Ben has always been about the coverups anyways).

'Cept now she's all filthy and kicking ass all the time with the looney. And she's doing it with straight hair! Dammit! Thanks alot JJ Abrams. Thanks for nothing. (Except for LOST. Thanks for LOST! Oh, and Felicity...of course, but that was a given. Duh.)

Guilty Pleasure #56:
Smoothing out the hard edges with your lips on a new tube of chapstick. Egad! Exciting stuff.

**Extra points for: getting a new tube of chapstick not because you lost yet another one before its days were up, but because you actually finished the last one! Hooray for me!

You know, there's one thing I can't stand about TV or films, is when theres an actor or actress who is suppose to be some great violin player, or cello player, and when you finally see them play, they can't even hold the bow right! Or they tuck the violin under the right chin instead of the left. It just disgusts me to the core. Not that I'm trying to be all high and mighty about this issue just because I play, but really, if you're an actor/actress playing a string instrument, take the bloody half hour to watch someone play it the right way, because when you're playing a character that supposedly can play the violin, and you can't really play the violin, you lose all your credibility as an actor. That's just my word of advice.

Moving on.

A couple weeks ago I was standing in line at Ralphs in hollywood, and low and behold, who gets in line right behind me? Snow white. I tried not to stare too much, because well, I was in hollywood, these types of things should be expected, right? So while I was putting my wallet away, I happen to catch a glimpse of what Ms. White was buying: a single red apple. For real. Snow White bought an apple....I just knew she was up to no good again...killing people left and right with her poisonous apple. And! At such a public place like ralphs...what was she thinking?

Man! I was on a roll in rehearsal tonight! And I haven't even practiced for 2 weeks!
And by "on a roll" I mean, I didn't suck. Not sucking means playing 80% of the notes. Ok, maybe 75%, but who's counting? Well, other than Tom my stand partner. But other than him, who's counting?

I've been spending alot of time up in the beverly hills area, due to these jobs. I'm always amazed by how glitzy everything is. And today, I realized that the Mondrian is a hoax. I've always passed by it, thought it was some cool ritzy hotel, and then you get inside, and you start seeing the cracks. Their modern/futuristic furniture in weird shapes is really just hard plastic, with chipped corners from the ages. Their elevators are tiny, theres nothing hanging up in the rooms, the halls are dark and ugly, furniture seems to have alot of wear. And I think their valet guys wear sweats. I mean, they wear all white, to continue the theme of the all-whiteness of the hotel, but really, they looked like sweats to me. It's all just hype...and I don't buy it.

So, interesting topic. This kid began a huge controversy over there in canada. Apparently, all sikhs receive a dagger when they get baptized, called a kirpan, and they have to wear it at all times. One day the kid is playing during recess, and the kirpan falls out. Someone at the school sees it, and bans the kid from having it in his posession, so the kid refused to go to school. Now there's this huge controversy over school safety vs religious freedom. Parents are afraid of what the dagger represents, sikhs see it as an attack on their religious rights.

So I see both sides of this case. I might have to agree with the schools just because I don't know or understand the importance of a kirpan in the sikh religion. But, I don't think I have to. If it's important to them, then it's important to them. So what does one do when both sides may possibly have a strong case?

Anyways, just thought I'd bring that up...

I'm freeeeeeeeeee!

Ok. But not for long.

The world of fashion photography is quite an interesting one. I can't quite put it into words right now, but it was a fun experience.

I had no idea that dogs snore. I'll miss them puppies.

Working with a bunch of guys can be annoying and lonely at times, but other times, man, it just doesn't matter because you're surrounded by a bunch of cute guys! The kind where you have to ask them to repeat something because you clearly were just staring into their lovely face instead of paying attention. Clearly. And when theres more than one around, it can get kinda dizzying.

The end. For now.

so much to say...too tired to write..goodnite.

Tales of the Employed Unemployee, Episode 2

I feel like I've been out of contact with the world for a week, but in fact it's really only been two days. You spend 2 days in a house up in the hills, and already I feel as if I've been away on vacation...except not as fun as vacation...though perhaps just as interesting.

I'm currently working as a PA on a photo shoot with a really famous photographer, the details of which I probably can't get into until I'm done. (well, ok probably not, but it sounds cooler that way, no?) He has these three large great danes. And by large, I don't mean shaggy dog large, I mean LARGE. As in, they come up to my stomach. As in, if they were to stand on their hind legs, they might be as tall as me. As in, they can probably take me down if they wanted to without trying too hard. But they're so sweet. We're currently occupying a side room as an office, and according to their caregiver, its their "lounge." Geez, I don't even have a lounge. They'll just come in and stare at me, or my boss, as if they're saying, "Strange beast, what are you doing in my lounge? I'd like to lounge now, can you please get out or move?" And I just look at them straight in the eyes (its easy because the chair I sit in is so low that its at their eye level), pat them on the head, and just smile. Sometimes I bring out the baby talk...cause I'm sure that really annoys them. So since we strange beasts won't budge, and they want their lounge, they'll just plop down right next to us. Haha..suckers.

Beasts: 1.
Great Danes: 0.

And now, the sidelines:

Rumor has it that my Idol nemesis, ACE, is finally off the show. Thank god! This fact has yet to be verified, which I will do after this blog.

Ok, so how many of you want to see American Dreamz, raise your hands? Higher....higher...! YOU in the back, I can't see your hand! Yea, you all know you want to go see Mandy Moore. At least I do. :-( I thought I had grown out of Mandy Moore, and sometimes I really can't stand her sweeter than candy demeanor, yet I always want to see her movies. And buy her albums (the last one sucked big time by the way!!!). So, as dumb as this movie may look, I'm DYING to see it. Plus Hugh Grant is in it, it's got to be good! I love Hugh, I really do, love Hugh.

(Haha...I just thought of this really funny scene for a situational comedy where...well, this is how it would go:

Girl: I love Hugh.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yes, really and truly.
Guy: Well...I don't know what to say...
Girl: Don't say anything, I just needed you to know...
Guy: I never thought I would say this to anyone but...I think I finally realize...I love you too!
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yes, really and truly.
Girl: Wow, I never knew.
Guy: Well, you're the first person I've ever said that to.
Girl: But I love Hugh.
Guy: Yes. And I love you too.
Girl: So what do we do now?

And yak yak yak, blah blah blah. The rest is where the hilarity will ensue...promise. Yea ok, needs some work...but boy, I can drag that on forever! Moving on.)

I missed out on the wondrous day that is 4/20. I didn't even realize it til 10pm. I have 12min left to celebrate. And when I say celebrate, I don't mean "celebrate" with equipment and all. I just mean, a little, "yay hooray, its 4/20 day" in my head. And I just did it. With 10 minutes to spare...whew.

Kelly Clarkson performing in Irvine in AUGUST!!!! OMG!! Do I dare go? She speaks to me, she really does. Well, through her music, not the mobile or anything like that. I have some time to decide.

WELP. I think that's all for now. I'm tired. I hope I don't die these next couple of days. If I do, someone finish my situational comedy for me, please. And make it good.

Good Night.

I always have this self conscious feeling of not knowing enough information about anything and everything. Sometimes I wish I was E.T. and can just absorb knowledge with a snap of a finger. And, I'm not even talking about the important stuff. I mean, important stuff like world news and politics is good to know, and I'd love to absorb that too. But I don't even know the unimportant stuff-like Sanford and Son? Ok, just googled it. Looks familiar, but never seen it. Jefferson Airplane? Is that 1 person or a group? Though I am a child of the 80s, I missed out on most of the decade, due to the fact that I was out of the country in my early years. I barely caught the New Kids on the Block craze, I didn't know who Tiffany was til freshman year of college, and I can't even name 1 Billy Idol song. Sure, these facts aren't that important, but people bond over things like this. And when it comes up, I feel like the non-smoker in the smokers' circle: so uncool.

So help me out readers. Give me some factoids. People to know, incidents that happened, songs to listen to. Pass the cigarette and light me up, I WANT IN!

PS!

May I introduce (ta da!) Ms. Sarah Parker's new/old Blog, as well as Mel and Jyvonne's Blog, over there, to your left!
Let's all welcome them to the Blog World! (applause)

Thank You.

Taxes: finally sent. Hooray!

This leaves me more time for:
*Taking over the world: Check.
*Blogging: check.
*Being unemployed: check.
*Hula Hooping: check.
*Eating: double check.

Knowing I won't have to do it all again for another year: Priceless.

:-)

Tales of the Employed Unemployee

Today, I realized how many people in LA don't work. I know everyone says that about LA, but actually seeing it still amazes me. What amazes me even more is that everyone looks like they're being paid not to work. Everyone just looks like they have so much time on their hands, not a care in the world, except for maybe whether or not they really got the nonfat milk they asked for in their lattes, or if indeed! it was replaced by whole milk and that no, the barrista was not paying attention after all.

Maybe they're not unemployed. Maybe its their day off. Maybe its their lunch break. Maybe they're on vacation. But all I can say is that these people who are not working between the hours of 9 to 6 for the most part, all look GOOD. The guys look good, the girls look good, even the babies and dogs look good. Boy, that's LA for you.

Today on my one-day-job, I went around LA gyms and fitness clubs trying to get people to audition for a print ad. Boy, people in LA sure work out ALOT. Not only do they work out, they work out at HUGE fitness centers that have valets dressed all in white to greet you when you get out of the car. Whatever happened to that diet tip where you're suppose to park as far away as possible so you can get a mini work-out from the walk? But I guess if you can afford it, you just pay to have someone do the mini work out for you BEFORE you actually work out yourself.

I also listened to bits and pieces of the same newscast on NPR oh about five times in my car. I can't stand the other radio stations now...whatever happened to all the good stuff?

I'm currently doped up on caffeine. Caffeine and sugar. I've had nothing in me all day except for coffee, and a piece of cake. Chocolate cake. Good cake. And now, my fingers want to type faster than my brain can process. It's really such a shame, to put all this energy to waste. If in an alternate world, the ability to type faster than fast is equal to that of a surgeon's skills here in this world, I'd be saving more lives than you can count right now. One two three four five. More lives than you can even read this sentence.

I must go. My friend the microwave is calling me. It plans to cure my faster than fast typing abilities by putting some sustenance in my body. You know, to counteract the drugs. I hope, in our world, that micro wave succeeds, though I can't say the same for those on the other world.

Until next time these fingers hit the keys, and save lives in the process (should we be on that OTHER world),
Ciao.

Dear friend,

I'm sorry you've been neglected lately. It's not you, please don't think it's you, you're wonderful. Thing is, it's me...or rather, myspace. No, you're not encroaching upon it, like I've said, it's not you, you're wonderful. Its myspace, and it's evil. I'm weak, and I'm easily tempted by others to spend more time in myspace than what is really necessary (which, in truth, is NOT AT ALL). I know you're always here for me, so I will make more of an effort to spend more time with you. Especially since our anniversary is coming up in a few months. No, I haven't forgotten. It'll be our 5th. See? I do love you after all! So please, forgive me, I've returned to you.

Sincerely,
SH

Wow.

Today has turned out to be quite the interesting day.

The End.

But also the beginning of a new chapter.

Man...I get so jealous when I find out about people going to grad school. It seems so big and important. Not to mention exciting. I loved school...well, college is more like it. I didn't really love learning until I got to college. Highschool was just a mandatory social experiment that I happened to survived through. Oy...

College was where I actually learned. And looking back on it now, I didn't want to leave. As much as I loved San Diego, I liked it as much as I did because of school. And because of the people at school. Not just for the social aspects, but well...there were so many smart and interesting people in college. And professors too. I remember having the BEST last quarter ever. I was stimulated and challenged. I was learning about things I was interested in. And some that weren't so interesting, but for the most part, it was. But for some reason I graduated a quarter earlier than everyone else, I guess hoping that I'd get a jump on the industry competition before everyone else in my major graduated. Not a lot of good that did. Yea. If I had known then what I know now, I would've stayed that extra quarter, taking classes that I didn't really need to but wanted to, and just enjoy the good hearty edumacation (not to mention the shuttle rides).

Maybe I should go back to school?

Goodbye Ace, Hello Chris!

Dear Ace,
It was either me or the hair, and it seems as though you've decided on your hair...so I'm moving on- with the baldy.

Regards,
SH

Dear Katherine,
You're beautiful. We're practically neighbors! Let's do lunch.

Best Wishes,
SH

Holy Cow.

I drove by a Baja Fresh yesterday and did a double take as my eyes skimmed over a sign that said: Now serving Breakfast Burritos. Now, Baja Fresh isn't exactly my favorite, I prefer Rubios, especially after those days in Hollywood where we would end up eating Baja once or twice a week, just because it was convenient. But now that they serve BBs there, I may have a different outlook on Baja. Then again, I really should try the BBs there before I jump to any conclusions.

So last night, as I stared at this sign, I realized something. You know how sometimes you wonder what you're doing here? You know, those big questions about life, and who you are, and what your purpose is, yadda yadda. Last night I realized that I am here to spread my love of Breakfast Burritos to the masses. (At least those who read my blog.) See, its all very simple. I try the Breakfast Burritos from all over, I tell people about them - which ones were great, which ones to stay away from, etc, and I pass that information on to YOU, the masses, so that you can share in the joy that is: The Breakfast Burrito. I'm not here to serve god, I'm here to serve YOU, at least the part of your taste buds that enjoy Breakfast Burritos.

Holy Breakfast Burritos Batman!

Try saying that 3 times fast.

No Ace, YOU give ME butterflies...

Man, every time I see that guy smile I can't help but smile to myself. It's contagious. He can stand to lose some of that hair, but, no matter. Yummy.

My American Idol fun fact of the week: One thing people may not know about me is that I can recite the entire greek alphabet, from Alpha to Zeta. If you're lucky, I'll recite it through song.

My American Idol performance for the week: Katie Melua's "I cried for you." I can't get enough of that song.

Randy will say: Yo yo, listen, listen, that one goes straight to the dog pound...woof woof.
Paula will say: It was a big risk because Katie's voice is so good, but you made it your own. I can't wait to see what you do next week.
Simon will say: I like you SH, I do, but that song just didn't do it for me. (And...cue boo hiss from the crowd)


And that is how I participate in my own American Idol.

Oooo woah woah.