Why aren't pretty girls ever happy?

I just passed by this girl on the way out of the laundry room, and smiled at her, tried to be polite and say hello. Beautiful, gorgeous girl, and she just glared. Well ok, she barely looked at me. But she didn't look like she was very happy. And the fact that the likes of me in my laundry gear was even passing by her seemed to piss her off even more. If I looked like I belonged on Dawson's Creek, first of all, I'd be wondering why I wasn't on The Hills instead, but second of all, I'd be happy all the time!

Ok, fine. I'm exaggerating a bit. Her anger probably had nothing to do with me, and I would never want to be on The HIlls. But really, why are all the pretty ones always wearing a scowl with their gucci? Are happy smiley faces soooo last season? Maybe they're not eating enough. If i wasn't eating I'd be angry like them too.

But if I have any power in this world, I'm declaring smiles a thing of the future! It'll be the next IT item. It'll be on every "gotta have it" section in the magazines. By golly, it will be required on every pretty girl in the world!

Oh to play my violin again! All that silent counting in my head. All those flats and sharps. The thrill of playing a measure correctly. Vonnie laughing at my blank stare when everyone else laughed at the conductor's joke. (Tell me you didn't know what he was talking about either vonne, TELL ME!!!) It's all so thrilling. I may even practice before our next rehearsal, that's how pumped I am. I wish I had a button that said "I Heart Orchestra." I wouldn't wear it, but I'd be happy that I have one.


And, WTF is all this with JJ Abram's secret project??? I need to know! I love JJ! Too bad the only time we met, I just happened to be wearing that ugly page uniform. What a waste of a good meet.

Question: What does SH and Al Pacino have in common?

Answer: A love for TARGET.


Possibly? Is it possible that I shop at the same Target as Al Pacino??? Sunday when I was there, I happened to pass by a lady who, with a knowing smirk on her face, ask this very hairy man, "Are you who I think you are?" She said it in a tone as if they were old friends who happened to pass by each other at the grocery store. So upon hearing this, I quickly turned around to see who she was talking to. The man smiled a guilty smile, but didn't say much. At least I don't think so, or couldn't hear it. So I went about my line, looking back every now and then wondering, is it him? Is it him? I think it was.

You'd think Al would have assistants. But it was a Sunday so maybe the assistant had the day off. OR! Maybe Al just runs his own errands? After all, he is human, and humans shop at Target. Not knowing very much about him, he SEEMS like the low maintenance type....the type to run their own errands. But, I can also see him having someone do his errands for him, to avoid crowd commotions and whatnot. I mean, can you imagine? If one day at the bank the man in front of you who turns around to borrow your pen turns out to be Al Pacino? Boy, that'd be awesome.

So, who knows. Who knows if it was really him. It could've been a look alike who loves that type of attention so he dresses more like Al, and lets his hair and facial hair grow out like Al. Or, maybe it was really AL. I guess we'll never know.



Hair update: 5 inches!!! Halfway there!! Ok, maybe 4 if I want to avoid a boy-bob. But...there is progress.

So, after dropping Fern off after a great night of salsa, I passed by the Burbank Kwik E Mart to see if i can get a peek. After all, it was 1:30 in the morning, and who would be there right? WRONG. So wrong. There was a line out the door and around the corner! To get into the Kwik E Mart! Geesh. I guess everyone had the same idea I did. It's too late to have any duff beer right now anyways.

And...I feel silly for saying this.........................but I kinda want to go to the Justin Timberlake concert. Is that wrong?

The gym is what happens when you breakup with the chiropractor. Breakups really shouldn't be this hard.

So I very very very recently joined a gym. Today, I decided to go for the first time, and took a class. Boy, was it an hour of comedy. Forget Everyone Loves Raymod. A full hour of watching me in this class would've been enough laughs for 2 full episodes of that show. But..at least I can admit that right? I feel like i get myself in these situations A LOT. Situations where I'm not completely comfortable, look incredibly dorky while being uncomfortable, and feel like I'm 30 years older than my real age, while standing next to a blonde bubbly younger Tiffany with very...incredibly pliable legs. Ugh. Seriously. Maybe her name was Jane, who knows, but she was very blonde, (the cute curly kind...OF COURSE!) and was doing very well in class. How is it that these girls can keep their hair down when they know they're going to be working up a sweat!
At least I was moving...(so I keep telling myself).

AND! Only in the Wood can men look 50 times better doing what I can barely do. We had to break off into men and women groups, and OMG, all the guys were so incredible. Will I take this class again? Most likely. But I think I need to work up to it first. Though, I don't think I can ever get up to the level of these boys. Neh-vahhh...

AND! Walking through the gym was like a treasure trove of blogs. Every corner I turned, every man or woman that walked by me, was a blog waiting to be written. So, yes, I was a little bit (ok, ALOT bit) intimidated today in the gym. But I'll make this blog my motivator. If ever I'm low on blogs, I'll tell myself that posts upon posts are waiting for me at the gym, and that I MUST go to the gym, no excuses, as I cannot let down my readers. Yes. That's it! Bada bing!

Food and I have not been on friendly terms lately. For some reason, I get this odd feeling that food wants to....wants to kill me? I can't imagine food doing such a thing, as we have been lifetime buddies. It's been with me through the good times, and the bad. And when bad times do roll, with food around, its really not that bad! But in the past 2 or 3 weeks, we've had a falling out, and I can't imagine what I did to make food angry with me. It makes me very sad. I miss food. I miss lots of food. I hope we kiss and make up soon. Hopefully over a good hearty meal.

As for being tagged, well, I feel as though I've been tagged before. In fact, I know I have. In fact fact, I don't even think i fulfilled my last tag...as I couldn't think of a last thing. But I think this one is a bit different, so once again, here they are, 8 things you don't know about me (and hopefully they're not repeats of the last tag!):

1. I've never broken a bone. Knock on wood. I just did.
2. I think carrots are evil. You laugh, but they are.
3. I'm afraid of butterflies. (But i think everyone knows that by now.)
4. I can sing the greek alphabet fowards, and say the latin alphabet backwards, up to M, and then it kinda slows down to a halt.
5. I mistakenly put a North Carolina quarter in the South Carolina hole on my quarter map, and now I can't get it out.
6. I wouldn't be able to tell you where all 50 states are if given a blank map. (...thus my quarter map)
7. Ok, I just lied, I have a quarter map because I just like to collect those nifty state quarters. I STILL wouldn't be able to tell you where the states are.
8. I once went to a John Tesh concert, and then shook his hand.

The End.

Tagging....(gosh, who still reads this blog?)
Miss Parker? The Warrens? Pen and M? E? Jenn? Missy? (oh missy, you're such a tease.)

The Lake House is actually a pretty good movie. I know I made fun of it in a previous post, and I even thought about that as I watched it. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm not saying you're great, but I'm saying you were, hey, not bad. Things didn't quite make sense, but hey, I went along with the whole thing, and it was actually pretty good.

Summer is here, where did the time go?

Missy...!!! You don't even know how happy i am to hear from you! And then to read a new post! Holy cow, that was a real treat. Its funny, because I've been thinking about you lately, and what you're up to and how you're doing. You know the poster you got for me in spain? The old moulin rouge one with the couple dancing? I got a frame for it at ikea a while ago, and it fit perfectly. (I guess they have standards for these things, but i'm always amazed when things fit perfectly.) It's in my room and I see it every day. And i always think, what a perfect poster missy got me. It is so me. I love it SO MUCH.

Get this: At my last apartment i was in for 2 years, that was the only thing i hung on the wall. So much wall space...just one framed poster. And now, in my new apartment...hm...ok, so I have 1 other thing up in the living room, my painting from college, and your poster sitting in its perfect ikea frame sitting on my dresser in my bedroom. I actually just finished decorating my bedroom this weekend. It was my mission to decorate this time around, and so far I've only been able to complete the bedroom. A friend came over before I decided to decorate, and apparently, he said I lack a woman's touch. I know! Whack, right? Right. But really, I'm like a man when it comes to decorating. Which means, not at all. Actually that's not true. I think most guys can decorate better than I can.

So congratulations on your adulthood. I hope to be joining you sometime...in the near future? Eh...just the future.

I'm glad to see you're back on the blog wagon. And for those of you who thought I have fallen off...I know i keep saying i'll come back, but dang, they sure make it hard! Everytime i try to sign on i have to reset my password. What a pain. But whatevs. I can't use that as an excuse forever now can I? INBD.

Miss, my email's still the same...holla back.

Utter disgust and horror.

So from time to time, I've been giving my readers an update on my boy Milo. In recent days, I was abhorred to find that he is now the male lead in Fergie's latest music video. After I finished retching in my mouth, I tried to compose myself enough to finish watching the rest of the video. They're on the bed making out, nearly naked. Really Milo, really? He's got ugly tats all over himself. Necessary Milo? Really? The lyrics to the song is horrible. What were you thinking Milo, and who is your agent? Cuz Imma gone kick his ass. "And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"? Seriously Milo? More like, I'm gonna miss you like I miss you in Gilmore Girls. Or, I'm gonna miss you like I miss Beverly Hills 90210, the highschool years.

And ok, somebody's gotta tell him, the bad boy image is getting OLD. Really, isn't it the goal of an actor to get as many diverse roles as possible? Wouldn't that make one TRULY a great actor, being able to chameleon yourself into different personae? Rather than always playing the same old boy with teen angst. Really milo, you're not a teenager anymore...

If you're reading this Milo, I still love you. I just wish you would make better choices. Heroes? That was a great move (though i've yet to see you on that show, i hope when the dvds come out you don't disappoint me like you did in this video). Gilmore Girls? That was a good stepping stone for you. A music video with FERGIE? Nuh-uh. Back up. Back waaaaaay up, and re-evaluate.

I've cringed so many times watching this video that I'm devloping premature wrinkles. You know how many times I deal with this video a day at work? Ugh, you don't want to know.

I hope you read this. You can do so much better. I know you can. Do it for me.

Thanks.

I don't know where i've been lately. Out in la-la land I suppose. And since i now live in la-la land, it makes sense, no? I can't really say i've gone on hiatus to do some deep soul searching, or self help, though there have been some of that in the past months. I guess i'll just say i left on hiatus, and leave it at that.

Only a few weeks left before the Sound of Music sing along! Going with the fam this year, and i just can't wait. The last time i went, it was such a magical experience that i thought i'd take the fam this time. For those of you who haven't been, its fantastic, and I highly recommend it. If you love the movie Sound of Music, if you love singing outloud in the shower, car, or public, if you love talking to movies as though the characters can actually hear you if you yell at them enough, if you love the whole experience of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then you will love this. That's my 30 second ad. Go to hollywoodbowl.com to learn more.

Friends. I miss my friends that moved away. It's good to hear they're doing well though. Today I read this:
"When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absense, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

So true...so true. But then again, the reasons I loved them was clear before they even moved away...so what of that? Who knows.


On to more significant matters: my hair.

ha.

my hair, oh my hair. I don't know if it will last to 10+ inches. But it must! But it won't. But it must! Oh, i'm torn. I need motivation. Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Something that will stop me from randomly cutting it on a hot summers day in august, like a drunk dialing his ex at 3am in the morning...because inevitably, I will wake up with regret's nasty morning breath in my face. sigh. 3 inches down...7 more to go. Ok, who am i kidding, its really only at 2 right now. Damn. Damn that lady who even repeated my request: "just a trim, right?" A trim my ass. I could be on my way to 6 right now...instead i'm back at 8. 8 more to go. LE SIGH.

Tuesday night- note to self: I will not be Prufrock. I will be better than HE.

So it's true what they say about asparagus and pee.

Ok ok ok.

I know I've been absent. If this blog was my job I'd be very unemployed by now. But professors can take a hiatus, so why can't I, right? Granted, I'm not off vacationing in the tropics or writing an important paper that would change lives...I've just been busy. With stuff.

Between being sick alot, moving to the city, going to Vegas, taxes, rock and rolling with the band, car troubles, birthdays, and of course, work, I haven't had much time or energy to stop and write it all down. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the swing of things very soon.

Stay tuned though, for the next post: Life after Burbank; A tale of the big city.

Fantasy #24

Magritte and I are great friends. How we became friends in the first place is a bit unclear to both of us, since we are of completely different social circles. Him being an artist would never think twice to hang out with the likes of me. But he finds in me: a connection, an understanding of his ideas. I find in him: pure brillance. Thus, our friendship.

We are in Paris, sipping on our caffés. He normally doesn't like to come to Paris, he finds the city too bougie. But at my insistence, he agrees. He rings me at my flat which overlooks the city, and wonders to himself how I could ever live in such a city. He shakes his head in pity.

As we sit and sip, he tells me about his latest painting. I tell him he's used the umbrella too many times, though the apple looked delicious enough to eat. He smiles, taking in my criticism, and I smile in return, knowing he will do what he wants. We spend the next hour discussing different possibilities on the perfect title for another painting. I tell him about the latest song I am writing, and he gives me suggestions for lyrics. All the while, a gentle breeze blows across a perfect spring afternoon. Before we know it, the day is over, and it is time for us to part, with promises of meeting up again real soon.

The End.

Tonight I said goodbye to a dear dear friend of mine that is moving away. He is moving up first to start a new job while she stays and looks for a job, sell their home, etc. So there was no finality. No grand goodbyes. He'll be back soon to move them both up, a party will be had, and so on and so forth. It's not really the end End. Unless we keep telling each other that to make ourselves feel better...

So we went and had dinner, went back to their place, then I said goodbye as I do everytime I'm at their home, and when I left, it almost felt like a typical night out with them. Until a few steps later, when it hit me again, and tears welled up as I quickly walked to my car. Sure I'll see him again. And she'll still be here for a while. And they won't be TOO far away. But I just know it won't be the same. My dear friends, my married couple of fun, strength, love and friendship, will soon be gone, and our relationship - though it will still be there, won't be the same. I guess proximity does really bring people together. These are the changes I don't look forward to. 3 Extra weeks of daylight savings time? Yes. Good friends moving away? No.

I want to be a LION, but most times I am a mouse. And I don't even like cheese. I want to be strong, ferocious, fearless, QUEEN of the jungle....instead, I fret and eat my pointless cheese. Today I realized I fret too much. Ok, that's a lie. I KNOW I fret too much. I've known. I'm what they call a worrywart, whoever they are. I hate them.

Today I almost signed myself up for a year of who knows what. I was <-> that close to putting money down for an apt. But at the last minute...more like half hour ago, I backed out. It just didn't feel right, as much as I wanted it. I went back and forth all day about whether my hesitation was due to fear of change. Though it makes me uncomfortable, I am welcoming change right now, I'm open to being open. So if it wasn't that stopping me, and since I couldn't quite point my finger on what was, I opted out. The whole day I fretted back and forth. Yes or no. No then yes. Yes and no. Now I feel better. Plus, it was as if my yahoo horoscope knew what I was going through! It said not to rush into a decision today. Of all days I could've gotten that message. But it was delivered today. What would I do without yahoo horoscopes to tell me how to live my life??

Changes are coming. People moving hither and thither. The weather. The daylight. Lots more to come, I feel it.

Hello Friends!

No, I have not disappeared. I've just been tag teaming 2 jobs for the last week or so. But I'm back. Slowly but surely.

So I'm not an Oprah fan. I know shes done great things, and has come really far, and is a powerful woman and so on and so forth. Everyone knows that. I just never knew why people in her audiences...all these middle aged women, LOVE her SO MUCH. She's not really funny. Not that she's NOT funny, she's just not particularly funny, like say, an Ellen Degenerous. She's seems really into herself..she's always checking to see how she looks in the monitors. She cuts off her guests...sometimes kind of rudely. And she made her live studio audience (and anyone who tuned in to this particular episode - of which I am particularly guilty of) endure a 20 min segment on her getting her ears pierced. Now just having gotten my ears pierced for the first time myself recently, I know it can be pretty exciting. But dozens of millions of women have gotten their ears pierced, its nothing new. It's not like she was building the Atom bomb or baking a secret recipe chocolate cake from scratch. NO, she was just having her ears pierced. Big whoop.

Anyways, I"m getting off track. Like I said. I'm no Oprah fan. But tonight I caught her one hour prime time special on that all girls school she built in Africa, and suddenly, I have this new found respect for her. Sure, the special was a bit self promoting. But if one woman who builds a school in a third world country that helps hundreds of little girls in said country wants to promote herself and how great she is, ON TOP OF what an awesome thing she did for those girls, then go ahead, Oprah. Be my guest!

I'm sure there's lots of negative controversy surrounding this school that I don't know about, and I still have to think more about what the repercussions and consequences- good or bad- are, but on the surface, it seems like an awesome thing that she did. And she genuinely (and genuine is the keyword here, often times I really don't find her to be genuine) sounds like building this school has been an incredible dream come true for her. I mean, wouldn't it be for anyone? To have that much power to change so many lives, for the better? One can only dream to have such a dream.

I was on the verge of tears watching this special. These girls have gone through so much, and here I am, living in LA, working in entertainment, complaining about my commute. I'm so lucky I have it so good. And I really do try not to forget that.

Sometimes I wonder if I should move away somewhere and help little children, or the very poor. But in reality, I wouldn't be able to hack it. I'm too spoiled in my life with running water and flushing toilets.

But enough complaining. I know what I've done and what I have yet to do to further myself, my neighbors, my planet. Are you able to say the same for yourself?

V day is almost upon us, and I simply refuse to even acknowledge its existence, other than in the form of 2 v-day cupcakes that the lady at starbucks forced me to pre-order by smiling politely and telling me that both flavors are yummy. But i figure, pretty cupcakes are sustenance for the body, and I simply can't get through the non existent holiday without sustenance, thus, picking up these vday related cupcakes do not in any way reflect my acknowledgement of the day, I simply need it for survival purposes.

Now that we've gotten that straightened out...

Ok ok, i realize my readers don't like it when i make large generalizations when they clearly know i'm implying a specific story that I'd rather not share. But you have to understand...sometimes i simply cannot share. "Then don't blog about it!" you say? But but...blogging is my one way of venting to the internet void, so please let me have just that, and for a few posts every couple weeks or so, just live in ambiguity whilst you read my blog? Pretty please? Only after I vent can I then get on with more random and pointless stories, as so many people tell me my stories are.

So now, a story for you, in the form of a letter to the culprit who left me very disgruntled this weekend:

Hey JERK!!!

To the bastard who stole my wallet out of my purse saturday night, have you no decency? You could've easily taken just the cash, bought yourself a nice drink and some smokes, but no, you had to take everything out of the wallet. I hope this hangs in your conscious for the rest of your life, but seeing how you could even go into a girl's purse in the first place and steal her wallet just shows that maybe you have no conscious at all. If you're reading this, congratulations for even knowing how to use the computer, next time use your head and think about what you're doing. Yea, I'm also stupid for leaving my stuff unattended, so thanks but no thanks for teaching me a lesson. But still, that was a shitty thing to do to someone who was just looking to have a good time, SAME REASON why you were there that night. I hope you're reading this because I have one word for you: KARMA.

Randomness

My oh my. My readers are getting testy...that is troubling. Do you want that I put a cork in it? Or do want that I offer my readers some metaphorical dope? Please be less vague next time, I am at a loss for how to proceed. And what's with all the commentators with no real names?

In any case, I feel like I haven't mentioned my boy Milo in a while. Just because I don't talk about him doesn't mean I don't think about him. Yes, yes, I realize he's on a hit show now. A hit show that I have not been able to catch...perhaps in DVD form somewhere down the line. But I am so very happy for him. It must get frustrating for him to be on show after cancelled show, so I'm glad he's found a permanent home now. At least for a few seasons more right? Keep up the good work Milo V.

I went to catch a show in silverlake on Tuesday night and realized that, if ever I decide to move there, I'd need to have lots of hair to fit in. More than I have now. I mean lots. In the form of a full on beard. Like the kind that connects to my Dylan McKay sideburns. Or I'd need to be half my size and wear skinny jeans all the time. That seems like too much work, so I'm gonna have to go with the full on beard- I wouldn't have to do anything to it except let it be. Hipsters are always trying to be cool by being anti-cool, so if I'm anti-hipsters, does that make me anti-anti-cool, therefore, making me cool by being myself? Awesome. Actually, I love you hipsters, I really do. I'm just jealous I can't look like you.

Speaking of skinny jeans...who the heck came up with them? Don't they know that only a certain type of girl (and boy) can wear them, thereby leaving out the other 90% that can't? Really now. This is something that John Stossel would be outraged about. At least, he should be. For the sake of us, the 90%.

In conclusion, NPR and PBS are in trouble. You can do your share and save them HERE.

Thank yee kindlee.

Despite my very best efforts to be the smart, sophisticated, modern, PC, cosmopolitan girl of the 21st century, I still fall short sometimes. Everyone does, I'm sure. But I don't want to be like everyone. Most of the time I know better NOT to do something, but I do it anyways, thinking that it won't affect me, but it usually does. Why do we go against our better judgement? Because it's enticing, that's why. Oh...the joys of being human, and not a robot.

I bet if I was a robot, I'd do a killer lock n' pop. Being merely human, I won't even attempt it.