Life

This is so amazing. All day there has been news of the miners in Chile. I'm suppose to be asleep, but I fell upon this abc news special of the miners. I've been looking for something like this, to go behind the scenes, from the beginning, into detail, to the end, and everything in between. Perfect.

It's so inspiring. Births. Marriage proposals. A miner's wife doesn't show up, but his mistress does. So much sadness and hapiness, all the range of emotions. It's really amazing. It just seems like these stories usually end in tragedy, but this time, all 33 men are alive. So much camaraderie. So much happiness x 33.

Sometimes you really have to see outside of the box you live in. The world is just so much bigger than you think.

I haven't been blogging lately due to the fact that every time I've started to, it always came out as something negative. And I just get tired of bitching and complaining. So might as well not do it at all, right? But the amazing story of the miners inspired me to blog.

I've fallen under the weather these past few days. I always feel like I look and sound fine when I get sick, nothing nasally or snotty or coughy. It's just that my body always aches. And it's really hard for me to focus and think. It takes me twice as long and hard to concentrate at work. But because I look and sound fine, people will think I'm fine, and wonder why I'm so slow to respond or get a sentence out. Or they think I'm lying when I have to turn down a freelance gig on the side because they think I just don't want to do it, when in reality, all I want to do is just be in bed with the covers over me. "I can't...I'm sick..." Listening to it coming out of my mouth even sounded so fake. And wimpy. Oh boo hoo, you're sick, wah wah wah.

So.

Haven't blogged in a while, thought I'd give it a go.

So.

I'm kind of hating my job right now.

But I love my neighborhood. Still. Tonight I walked out to the main street to meet H for dinner and there were so many things going on. The grill cheese truck, people doing yoga, people doing arts and crafts, a magician across the street. I hope people don't start finding out about my neighborhood.

I'm stuck in the quicksands of time. I think that's a lyric somewhere. I'm like those melting clocks. Melting and ticking. And sleepy.

This was a poor go, I'll do better next post.

Autumn

I couldn't get out of the shower just now. It was so warm and the water felt so nice that I just wanted to sleep in the shower. But alas, I got out, and thought, it's bath season! It's starting to get cold enough where I can take baths again. Ok, well, probably not for another month or so. But the weather's been tricky this year, so who knows. As soon as I take out my winter clothes I'm sure it'll be over 90 degrees again.

I get these heart palpitations from time to time. It really just comes and goes but the past three days or so it's been lingering. I wonder what's changed. I've also not been sleeping well. I keep waking up in the dark, thinking people are going to get me. Ghosts and what not. I wonder if my garage is haunted. But usually I wake up because I have to go to the bathroom. I think it's an old age thing too. Huh, funny, I just had this thought. You know how people are always losing sleep when they have kids because babies need to feed at all hours and wake up early? And I find that people sleep less or have insomnia the older they get. Maybe by the time I have kids, I'll be so old that I won't need to sleep very much. HA! Take that young parents. Take. THAT.

Ok, yea, I don't know.

French toast. A la mode. Sounds good, no? Hm.

Randoms

Wow, seems like everyone's slowly falling off the blog wagon.

It's just that...there's not much to blog about.

My show ended this week. And the way it ended really made me mad. Politics, policies, and other shit. I said goodbye to a few people who have been at the company longer than I. It was a sad and stressful and weird week.

Been doing the online dating thing lately, which, isn't going so well. Actually, it's not quite going at all. I feel as though I make things more difficult than it has to be. If things seem too simple, I will find a way to make it difficult. The whole thing with online dating feels like you're going shopping. Easy right? You take some tomatoes off aisle 1, some peanut butter off aisle 2. The only difference is, at the store, you pay for things and you take them home. With online dating, people say no to you. GASP. Anyway, to get to all the intricacies and annoyances of online dating will require me writing a handbook, which I'm in no mood for right now.

I tried today to buy a copy of the 2nd book to The Hunger Games, but they were out! The nerve. I'm #63 of like...152 on hold at the library. So while I wait, I decided to pick up some other books. Short stories by Road Dahl (I love this guy), Howl and other poems, About A Boy, and Life of Pi. I'm sure I won't get to them all, but I like to have choices. Also I can keep one in the car, one at home, one in my purse, etc. That way I always have reading material around. Lately I've been thinking about getting a kindle, as they seem to be more affordable these days. But 1)I'd kind of feel like a traitor to all books if I did, 2)I don't want another gadget around, 3)I really have no need for one. So the possession of a kindle may be a few years away. But the idea is slowly seeping into my head...like a tea bag, dipped in hot water.

OK.

My next big project is to get rid of my box of "stuff" that I've had since the last apartment. This box of stuff are things I don't really need but can't quite give away. So I've decided to sell them. Which might be a bigger hassle than just giving it away, but really, some of this stuff I can't imagine good will wanting. This project has been a project for the last...oh...3 years I'd say. (I wrote 4 years, but went back to change it to 3 because 4 just seemed too long to have a project in the queue. And embarrassing too.)

Tally ho.

UGH

UGH. What a day. One thing after the other.

My show was cancelled last Thursday. But it's moving to another show as a smaller segment. So they've asked me to stay on, and continue working on the segment, along with some other new things. Which is great. I still have my job. Wonderful. Awesome.
Except I'm not really into it. On Friday a friend semi offered me a month's worth of work while he's gone on vacation. When he gets back we'd switch off maybe, but technically after that I'd be out on my own, freelancing. All weekend I've thought about taking it, about the possibility of leaving a cushy job that I'm bored at to get out there in the jungle. And really, it's about time. I should've done it years ago.

So a sequence of events occured today that made me want to leave my job and take the new one more and more. So finally I get a text out to said friend, make some lunch plans for tomorrow, and follow it by telling him I'm seriously thinking about taking him up on his offer if he is. He texts back and said he offered it to someone else now. Ugh.

But then he also follows up with send me your reel and resume.

So I get home early in order to update my resume and reel which only has minor updates so shouldn't be too big of a project. WRONG. It's 1:30am, and I'm panicking that I won't have what I need by morning. This reminds me of when you stay up all night during school to finish a project and you're still working as the birds are chirping and the sun is coming out.

Ugh.

It shouldn't have been this difficult. Stupid technology. As much as technology is suppose to help people and speed things up, I'm still amazed by how much it fails me all the time. Seriously. An application that used to work, no longer works the way its suppose to. What's changed? I don't know. My internet connection? The worst it's ever been. I don't know if it's the company or if it has something to do with my apartment. I can't even make a phone call properly from my place. UGH.

I'm so annoyed right now. And sleepy. And stressed. UGH.

Must. Not. Scratch.

i have 5 min while i wait for a file to copy so i thought i'd blog.

i have these three large bug bites along my right arm/shoulder, and they're driving me crazy with their itchiness. i think i got them from being out on a ranch on sat. night. they blew up so big by sunday that it looked like i had a second elbow on my one arm. i'm trying hard not to scratch. its like having chicken pox all over. i must've gotten an allergic reaction to them, because they puffed up and still feel kinda hot. i've put some calamine on it but it still itches like crazy. instead of scratching, i'm slapping them real hard. this is what i did as a kid with chicken pox that couldn't be scratched. you slap them and it doesn't feel as good as a scratch but at least it relieves the itch some what and doesn't puncture the skin. i walked into coworker D's office and he said i smelled good. like vanilla. i told him that it must be my itch cream, which contains oatmeal supposedly. he gave me a funny look. for the bug bites, i said. yup. sexy.

SKIN

I've just discovered something on my own body, and I can't believe it's taken me this long.

Between my neck and my chest, I have a large patch of skin discoloration that looks similar to the UK. For some reason I've never realized this before. I always thought it was a bit darker there, and since sweat tends to collect in that area, maybe it was just a dirty patch and that maybe I just needed to scrub harder. Even when Cole made a comment about the skin discoloration a few years ago I never made the connection. Until today.

Must be all that sun I'm getting this summer. The darker I get, the more noticeable it is. I mean, it's fairly faint, which is why I never thought much about it. But I just saw myself in the mirror and must be the light or something, but it's definitely there! And its rather large too.

It's not a huge deal or anything, and it's not as obvious as the kinds I've seen on other people. But it definitely makes me a bit more self conscious about low cut clothing that shows that part of my body. I just can't believe I've never had this realization before until just now!

California Dreamin'

I've been having a lot of dreams about vacation. People from vacation, going on more vacation. Vacation seems to have had quite the affect on me.

I listen to this podcast called: Stuff Mom Never Told You as I go to bed. It's usually about 20-30 minutes, but I never seem to last through the whole thing. So I end up listening to them over and over and over. They're pretty interesting and informative, I think you all should check it out. Even you, A. Even though they focus on a lot of female centric topics, I think if I was a guy, I'd be interested in it all still.

Also, last night was the first night I tried to manipulate my dreams, ala Inception. I tried to setup the environment that I'd be dreaming in and made a mental note to be conscious should I find myself in a dream, but....since I couldn't even stay awake for the whole podcast, needless to say, I FAILED in my manipulations, and was in deep sleep by the time I got to the middle of my dreams. There were only two that I remembered: the one about taking another week of vacation, and the other about being obviously and awkwardly ignored by D, this guy I dated many moons ago. It's odd how in dreams, your brain still sets up awkward situations for you. Thanks a lot brain. I'm putting you on the list next to weak arms.

Despite the willy nilly-ness of the last post...

The skin on my face is perfect today! Score! Take that, 29!

29

I've been having mini freak outs about being 29 lately. I know, I'm still young. But still. 29. Where did the time go? I used to be youngest of the bunch, and now...now I'm going to a 26 year old's bday party and wishing it was mine.

Relating to an earlier discussion about age, CK sent me an article about how 29 is the year for big ideas. The article then listed a bunch of people and the things they accomplished at 29. That sent me into a deeper spiral.

Before that conversation, I had just read an article about Angelina Jolie and how she like to be the matriarch of this family she is building. Kind of like an empire. And that sounded kinda neat.

And then on the way home from work today, I was stuck behind a bus. Plastered all over the bus was this huge picture of Dudamel. And then I thought, man, how cool (or embarrassing) would it be to have your face plastered all over busses around town? I remembered he was fairly young so I looked it up, and guess what? He is 29!!! His face is plastered all over town while mine is...well, glued to a computer screen most days.

And then tonight H reminded me that I have 6 good years left. And while that wasn't exactly "news," I just haven't thought about it in a while, so it alarmed me a bit to be reminded again.

I haven't been feeling all that attractive lately, and the fact that I go out with girls who get more attention from the boys than I doesn't help either. It's been proven that showing more skin helps, but then again, I don't feel comfortable compromising myself for a boy. Because then it feels like false advertising. Like those butt pads that some girls wear. To give themselves more of a booty. What happens when you actually get a man with that fake booty and he's expecting a full booty and all there is is just padding? Booty fail is what.

I know I know. I'm still young and have it a lot better than some people. I don't have a disability, I have all my limbs and senses, I'm fairly normal. I should count my blessings. This isn't a pity party. I just need to repeat the mantra of 2004: thirty and flirty and thriving...thirty and flirty and thriving.

(which was a cute movie, except when they all started doing the thriller. Because not everyone knows thriller well enough to just randomly bust it out at a party. I'm just sayin...)

Fūd.

Nothing of news to post about lately. Jumped back into work after vacation, which pretty much sums up my weekend.

I did, however, find CAFE BUSTELO today at the supermarket. Oh joy! I was introduced to this little gem by natalie on the trip. It just tastes so good! I thought maybe it was an east coast thing, but apparently, it's an everywhere thing. I'm very much looking forward to making my first cup tomorrow. I also bought some condensed milk to make some vietnamese coffee.

OH ALSO! Trader Joes has this frozen chocolate croissant thing in the freezer section. You take the tiny thing out the night before, and in the morning, it has grown into a full blown croissant! You stick it in the oven for 20 min while you get ready in the morning, and voila! Warm chocolate croissant.

Needless to say, I'm very excited about breakfast tomorrow.

AND, I bought five boxes of cereal today. When cereal goes on sale, I stock up. By the time I'm done eating all the boxes, they go on sale again. It's a nice cycle.

Food food food. I love food.

2:57pm

Oh, so in reference to the title from a previous post, and the mysterious news that i couldn't share a month ago, I can now say that a friend of mine is engaged! Me and my violin was suppose to be in on the engagement process but I guess that didn't work out and it happened while I was away on vacay. But hooray! I'm so happy for her. Especially in light of yesterday's events in california.

I still feel like I'm in vacation mode. All i want to do is be at home and watch movies in my bathing suit. I got quite used to living out of my bathing suits. They allow you to be flexible, and you can sweat in them as much as you want. I'm thinking about running in my bathing suit, and I'm wondering why people don't do it. Although, a whole week of inactivity on the beach has my body upset with me. I went for a workout last night but it still wants more.

Ok, so now that vacation is over, I really need to get back in gear and focus on the career. It's time for a life makeover. Annnnnd go.

Vacation!

Prologue:
My neighbors DO have sex after all. This was confirmed when I went to pick up my mail from them and realized she was pregnant! She said 8 months, but it didn't look at all like 8 months so I'm thinking maybe she meant 8 weeks. But it looks more like 4 months. And no, I didn't ask when she was due, which I should have. In any case, the likely hood that they conceived baby #2 during my residence there is very high, which perplexes me even MORE that they don't have curtains up in their bedroom. Or maybe they just enjoy the thrill of me or any one of my guests possibly catching them in action. But they don't seem like the type. OMG, JUST GET SOME CURTAINS ALREADY!


My vacation was AWESOME. I think my best vacation yet. But seeing how I don't take many, it doesn't really say much. There was lots of beach time. Lots of laziness. Lots of game playing. A little bit of drinking on my end, which is practically nothing for everyone else. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, except that I had a great time with some great people on the beach.

Now to find the cable for the camera...

Oh also I was noticing some looks in my direction. I was in a very white area of arlington, VA, and the beaches of NC. One guy on the beach even had a confederate flag beach towel, ha. But I just noticed that people were looking at me more than I am used to. And by used to I mean, NOT AT ALL. And not looking in a bad way, or staring really, but just...looks. I guess I'm so used to living in socal where I am the norm. I really need to get out more. I asked the other asian guy in our group if I was imagining things. He said I probably wasn't, but that he's used to it being a rare asian from denver.

That's all about my trip for now. Maybe more later.

Good morning!

Two broke bitches in love

It's 2:30am here and I am about to go to bed to the sound of the ocean.

We got to NC tonight around 11p.  It's a bit hot and sticky here but sitting outside just now I was able to cool down a bit.  My room was too hot so I've moved into another room with the nice ocean breeze.  I've kinda intruded in another's room, but there are two beds here and I'm too hot to care much.  

So far it's been great.  Lots of activity and walking around was done in dc.  All very interesting and fun, but I'm ready to just kick it for a few days.  If the weather persists like this, I'll most likely be living out of my bathing suit for the rest of the trip.  I'm sweaty and sticky and my hair...goodness my hair.  Ive put the bangs away in this weather, but the rest of the hair is doing it's own thing.  I'm trying to live by my own rules of: if I can't see it, it doesn't exist, but once in a while I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shake my head in shame.  The beach life ain't glamourous, but hell, it'll be beachy!!

I'm here!

Ok ok, I just go there. Trying to fit in a blog while waiting to be
picked up, and before my phone dies!

Outside, it is 113. Ai papi! I got a taste of it walking off the
plane. And then was greeted with blasting ac.

The people here in the airport are interesting so far. Lots of waspy
looking families. Is waspy a bad word? (as I ask my all white
readers). East coast boys with their short shorts. Makes me smile.
Blonde put together ladies with a sweater tied around their necks, and
they're not even being ironic about it!

I know, I know. This is the world, people are different in diff
areas. I really need to get out of my bubble more.

Landing was a bit rough. I need something to calm my stomach.
Stomach, be still! Be still I say.

I went to the bathroom to take off my pants in preparation of walking
outside. I don't know how the suits do it, I really don't.

Stay tuned.

Back in action.

Leave it to me to blog at the airport. You'll probably hear a lot
more from me on this trip than the past two weeks! I seem to have a
lot of thoughts on trips.

I'm sitting here looking out the window watching this guy transport
luggage on to the plane- one piece at a time. Oy vey. This can't be
how it's done. Oh! I just looked up and he has disappeared.

This morning as I was brushing my hair, I had the thought that I
looked a lot like Ramona. Of Ramona and Beezus. In that I have this
baby dress on and the haircut of a five year old. Nevermind that I
just turned 29, no. From far away I could be mistaken for a tall five
year old.

The birthday went well this year. Tried all day to not talk about it
at work but I've since found that friends get offended when they find
out you haven't told them it's your birthday. So in an attempt to not
offend anyone, I started casually telling people and dropping it into
the conversation.
"It's my birthday today and yes I'll have that cut by 4pm"
Ok not really.

So there was a cake at 430pm and an attempt at a surprise in the
conference room, along with coworker Dan, whose bday was a few days
before mine. And I say attempt because You kinda always know when
someone unexpectedly wants to see you about "something".

In any case, it was nice and I had this feeling of embarrasemnet, as
did D, but mine was more of, wow all of you are taking the time to
sing and have cake with lil o me?

Also in the attempt to not offend, I decided that morning to have some
drinks with people, because C was so adament about getting drinks for
my birthday and I couldn't bear to let her down. So then I invited
some people. And if I invite this person then I have to invite that
person, and it turned into an affair. The very same affair I tried to
avoid.

It actually turned out quite nice though, I got to spent some time
with everyone that showed up, and had myself a good time. And some
tacos. Along with mojito!

Time to fly, bbl.

So awkward

So I've had this one task I had to do before I left and I kept putting it off and finally just did it.

I had to go ask the front house to take my mail in for me while I'm gone for the week. And normally I wouldn't have, because I don't get THAT much mail, but B's mail is getting fwded here while HE's on vacation so it's double the mail for me. And I didn't want the mail clogging up the one box we share.

So when I got home just now, they weren't home. Kind of a bummer, so I write up this note. And by the time I'm done writing and take it back outside to put on their door, they were home. Thing is, when I pass by their windows, I can see them through the sheer curtains they have. And of course, they could probably see me too. And rather than knock on the kitchen back door, which is closer to my door, which is where I see them and where they probably saw me, I thought it'd be more polite to go to the front. So I knock on their front door, not wanting to ring the door bell and wake up the kid. And, also, I could see from my walk-by that the guy didn't have his shirt on, like always. So I give it some time after my knock, knowing that he'd probably be putting a shirt on. Or the girl would be wanting to put something more appropriate on, since she looked like she was in her pjs as well. But I waited a long time and nothing. So I had to knock again. And this time he came to the door with a shirt on, so he WAS putting on his shirt. So I give him the whole schpiel from my now useless note, he's ok sure ok-ing me. And, its all fine and good.

But just kinda awkward.

All this pretense. All this formality. All for 2 minutes of information.

Maybe this is what being neighborly is. Maybe I'm just not used to it. I just wish it wasn't so awkward with them. But how do I get to know them when we barely see each other outside? I know when they're home, I smell the food they're cooking, I know he walks around without a shirt on, heck they don't have curtains in their bedroom. I feel like they're somewhat in my life, but on the very very very peripheral edge.

Maybe I should bring some baked goods over?

Dammit.

I missed national ice cream day again!

16 candles

Why is it always that the week you're about to leave for vacation, there is always too much to get done and not enough time to get them done by?

I'm not one to bring up birthdays, and my family is not one to remember them most of the time, so tonight was a rather rare occasion in which a fuss (dinner and cake) was made.  My sister and grandparents also happened to be in town, which made the fuss a little louder.  My sister took us to all you can eat shabu shabu, which I realized after our food came, that I've never had before.  I always thought shabu shabu was the same as a hot pot but they're a bit different, and I felt a bit silly when the food came and I had no idea what to do with it.  I felt like I dropped the Asian ball (which I seem to do a lot but that's what happens when you grow up here).  Everyone loved the food, we stuffed ourselves silly, and then came back to my place to have cake.  I'm not that used to being center of attention but tonight it wasn't bad. I've been feeling like some of my friends could care less about me lately (present company excluded), so a little attention was actually quite nice. I had myself a really good time.  But things like this always make me dread the idea of a wedding, where I'd be the center of attention for a WHOLE day, which is maybe why I can never picture what my wedding would look like or whether I would even get married.

But I digress, I had myself a good time tonight and will just focus on that.  No need to stress over nonexistent future events right?

I wouldn't mind being 24 again, for some reason that sticks out as a good year to me.  Oh if I had know the things then that I do now! 

Do you guys remember a particularly good year?  Can you?