Swine?

Yesterday started out fine until I was in the car driving. I thought my blazer was maybe too tight so i took it off. Turns out it wasn't my blazer, my shoulders were just aching on their own. That's when I knew...I was sick. It's weird to have your body being attacked and you completely aware of it. Waking up this morning wasn't any better, I ended up sleeping the day away. What a waste of a perfectly good sunday! One minute you're fine, the next minute a whole sunday's gone. The brit was kind enough to inform me of a deadly flu going around in mexico, one that i had no idea was happening. I thought nothing of it, until I woke up and watched the 5pm world news. It was everywhere: Swine Flu!

Ok, What are the chances of me getting sick out of no where the same weekend that a killer epidemic is going around? Paranoid me then goes to stop the Brit's promised visit, one that would've brought me some needed necessities (aka ice cream?). Despite dreams of ice cream, i didn't want to pass on whatever I had. He also assured me i didn't have the swine flu, but...

I'm sorry Ms. Montana, I am fo reeeeal

Geez, I just can't get away from Hannah Montana these days. I come home after a long day, and turn on my TV to see her on American Idol.

Now, i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she's a poppy disney product. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have talent, right? Wrong. I know, i know. Everyone could've told me that. But still....I gave her the benefit of the doubt. After seeing her sing live on AI just now...her nasally annoying manly voice...it's awful. Yes, i've realized the error of my ways.

Nothing left to do now except to shuffle away in diagonal...

Banter #428

Sometimes i don't get myself. I don't get why i'm so lacking in girlieness, yet at the same time can't stay away from it.

I was assigned to edit the review of the Hannah Montana movie at work this week, I think mostly because the other two male editors would've gone crazy. Thing is...I didn't protest too much. I even had the chance to go watch the movie and expense it but sadly...I knew no one would even consider going with me. I thought about kidnapping some kids so I didn't look like the weird adult going to a showing of Hannah Montana at 10:30pm. Too bad S's kids are too young. (Or are they? Is Abs too young for HM? Is she? Is she?) I ran out of time this weekend anyway, but I'm embarrassed that i was trying to even plan it on Friday.

Seriously! How old am I? And I still watch HM and/or followed by The Suite Life of Zack and Cody?? (Only on saturdays, when I somehow can't find the remote.) And I don't even have a kid to blame it on.

Not to say I'm a tom boy or anything. I love my dresses and skirts and pretty pretty princesses. But everyone who has been to my place always comments on the lack of "a woman's touch." Or how about the fact that I have about a dozen skirts in my closet right now but always end up with jeans and my tennies. It's like i really try to be a girly girl, but comfort always overpowers the effort. Sigh.

Also, this is more for S, but...I'm knee deep in Twilight, thoroughly enjoying it...but....it kinda freaks me out when I read it right before bed. After i turn out the lights I end up suffocating myself in my blankets, only because I'm afraid that someone is watching me. The same thing happened when I was listening to Coast to Coast before bed, (thinking aliens would know that i'm on to them by listening to the program so they'd come after me first) and I finally had to give that up. I'm eager to read it tonight, though the brightly colored Cosmo magazine next to me seems like an option as well. Definitely wouldn't be more mind stimulating (who cares about 50 fun things to do bare-assed), but would create less anxiety in bed. What to do what to do. **Side note, I saw a vampire on People's Court yesterday during lunch. Seriously. He was pretending to be a property owner being sued by some lame renter. Judge Marilyn didn't seem to notice...but he's not foolin me. Nope.

PS

There has been no major decisions made on the name change. It probably won't happen unless I move far away anyways. However, I have been toying with the idea of "VIOLET" in case that day does come. My favorite color, a flower, and just a pretty name in general. I probably don't look like one...but play around with it...let it sink into your head while you look at me next time. Oh, and plus it has the letter V, which is missing from my current name, with its collection of odd letters towards the back of the alphabet. I dunno...plus you can make lots of scrabble words out of it, which you really can't with my current name (flash back to 3rd or 4th grade activity where you're suppose to make as many words out of your name....I couldn't come up with many and the teacher agreed. THE TEACHER AGREED!!! How many times does the teacher agree with a 3rd/4th grader? Yea...)

QUEUE

You know it's been a while since you've posted if blogger asks you to sign in...

It's been a busy jungle out there. That's all i have to say about that.

I do have to say though, that fellow reader, Mrs Warren, has got me hooked on Twilight. Yup, Twilight. I even took it to work with me today for those long render times i sometimes have to wait for. In fact...i'm wondering why i'm spending time blogging now instead of reading...hm....

I'm torn though, because thanks to a tip from Mr/Ms Anonymous, I have now come into my possession: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which a fellow male coworker was happy to let me borrow. The best thing about this book? Illustrations! They're pretty rad. The issue at hand though, is whether to read this book in conjunction with the next book in the Twilight series, New Moon? Or breakup the vampire romance series in favor of zombies romance.

Vampires or zombies....vampires or zombies....hmmm....it's a toss up.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT! I still have my lovely Golden Gate book that was really good too, which i've since put aside for the coming of Twilight.

My netflix queue is feeling a bit neglected as well. I've got Australia coming next, but first i've got to watch these other two i have. And, i'm behind on LOST and 30Rock.

Not enough time in the day I tell ya...

Case of the elephants.

Boy, i haven't had time to do anything lately. The apartment's a mess, the tulips have died, my clothes are strewn about, i can barely find this keyboard i'm typing on. I can't wait til the day when i have nothing to do. When i can just sleep all day and wake up and eat and then go sleep some more.

But in all this busy-ness, i have had time to think. And this thought randomly popped into my head yesterday as i was driving into topanga canyon:

Carrie Bradshaw loves designer labels. But her wedding dress...the dress she ended up marrying Mr. Big in, was purposely a no name label. It just doesn't make sense! Or maybe it made some writer sense, something like, "when it comes to love you don't need labels." And I just couldn't get this thought out of my head at that moment. Why would the writers do that. They must've had a reason. Did they talk about it in the movie? Was it in the dvd commentary? I can't remember now, and I couldn't remember yesterday either. And i didn't know who to call to find out because I don't know anyone who loves the show as much as I do, who would care enough to know what the answer to that was in order to give me the answer and not think it was silly. Because i need to know, dammit.

Or i should just rent the movie again. I never need an excuse to watch a little carrie. (Which, btw, they stopped showing at midnight on the cw...without notice. This made me sad and a little angry.)

Omg omg

This huge thing just happened at work, but i can't talk about it. Or better yet, I shouldn't. But, OMG. I hope my friend is ok.

That which we call a rose...

Every once in a while, i seek out the opinions and advice of my readers. Things like, what color klean kanteen should I get? But today, dear readers, i come to you with an important matter.

My mom sent me an email recently about changing my name. I just now got stuck in a long conversation on the phone with her in best buy. She seems to think that I should have an aka name, one that i introduce myself as. Usually i shrug off her crazy ideas, but this time it's not so crazy.

"Hell, nice to meet you, I'm Sam."

(Think less of Who's the Boss, and more of Country Bear Jamboree)


Now before you think this is a crazy idea as well, try to put yourself in my shoes. I've often felt like people (teachers, employers, new acquaintances, hot crushes) have passed me off because they couldn't pronounce, remember, read my name correctly. And to save themselves the embarrassment of getting my name wrong, it's just easier to ignore me altogether. I've been through enough of these to know the signs. And sometimes it makes me a little self conscious. This hurt me a lot as a first grader at the local library in new jersey, when I should've gotten a prize for a reading program and instead went to my sister...long story.

Anyway, the idea of changing my name is not so crazy, because well, people just don't seem to get it sometimes, and often I'm one of those people too. Which is why whenever someone has an unusual name, I try to make it a point to remember.

But! The counterpoints.
When people do take the time to get to know me, they often love my name. It's unsual, it's unique (but it's very hard to spell...don't forget the dash). I wrote my college essay all about sticking true to my name, and to change it now would seem like i'm going backwards...like my college is going to evoke my diploma or something. And all the important people already know me as my current name, to change it now would be to change into a completely different person! It'd be easy if i was moving across the country, starting a new life. Changing a name wouldn't be so bad. But i'm not. And i'm probably going to stick around here a while...

Sure, it's easy to say, screw the ignorant people who can't remember you. Who say your name wrong even after you've said it for them 3 times already. Why do I have to change something about me to suit the rest of the world? Sure, it's easy to say that. I wish I was strong enough to carry it out. But when you actually live it it's a different story.

The funny thing about this is that my mom thinks my current name is too androgynous. It's too vague on a resume whether i'm a guy or a girl. I told her it works to my advantage...if people think i'm a guy and i get called for an interview because of it then even better, right? She didn't seem to agree. Little does she know that the name sam is pretty androgynous as well...but let's not bring that up.

Maybe I just don't make good first impressions. Maybe if i had a more memorable personality it wouldn't matter that my name isn't so memorable...

What do you think dear readers? If I were to do this it wouldn't be an overnight thing...it'd probably be pretty gradual...but still i wouldn't know how that would work. My first inclination is to dismiss it, and carry out my life spelling my name for everyone. But again...my mom does have some good points that I agree with.

Good think i'm having this identity crisis now, as opposed to later when i'm having my midlife crisis. One at a time, right?

Work is killing me.

I'm exhausted, and I can't seem to catch up on the weekends. I miss long deep sweet sleep. Last night I went to bed thinking about the horrors that awaited me this week, and had a mini nervous breakdown. I then ended up dreaming about working the whole night, and couldn't get into deep sleep all night. I woke up exhausted. I feel like an old woman. I feel like I LOOK like an old woman. Withered and weathered. I'm in a frump slump. Even today in my nice bow tie sweater I felt frumpy. I need to go to the gym, and some new clothes. Maybe some heels. But even the mere thought of heels exhausts me right now. Oh no...this is not good. I can't afford to be an old woman at my age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much needed post...

It's way past the time I want to be in bed but...I had some things to post about...three...from what I remember.

1. I started reading this new book from my used collection, and realized it had an inscription in it! I was so excited! It wasn't the most exciting of inscriptions though, but at least the book is good. The inscription says:

August 1991
Kathy - (the bestest drama coach)
Something to remember SF by. Congratulations on your show. Wishing you lifelong success.
Love, Jennifer

My question is, why would you ever sell a book that someone wrote an inscription to you...in? How is Kathy ever going to remember SF without this book? Lucky for her that SF is pretty unforgettable. But still. I'd always keep inscribed books. At least ones to me. I wonder if Kathy even read the book...

2. I saw my favorite character from my favorite show at coffee bean during my lunch break on friday, further proving the fact that this show and I have it in the stars...together. Whatever that means. Favorite character other than Rob of course, but he is new, and she is permanent. I saw her right away when i walked in, and turned around and gave steve my "omg" eyes, which he didn't catch on to and just gave me a weird look back. So I turned to gawk at her again, not really sure if it was her because she looked a little different, but then the barista called "Lucy" and she picked it up, and that validated my suspicions. I love star gazing at the grove! Of course...no one around knew who she was. Heck, at my age, I shouldn't really know who she is. But still, I love her character on the show.

3. How did daylight savings time get past me this year? It totally crept up unbeknownst to me until this morning, when a friend who was suppose to come over at 10am called me at 9am, already parking her car outside. Technology is so tricky...our cell phones were way ahead of the game and had adjusted the time for me, as well as her. She had no idea it was day light savings either! There was a long minute of confusion after I hung up with her, looked at my clock radio, looked at my phone, back at the clock radio, wondered if power had gone out in the middle of the night for an hour, back at the phone, then out the window, back at the clock radio....you get the idea. I was a confused and groggy bear this morning.

And then I turned into an angry bear after realizing I just lost an hour and didn't even have time to prepare for it!

And that, dear readers, are your three things I needed to post today. Thanks for reading.

Where does the time go?

Apparently yesterday was mardi gras, and I had no clue. Even after seeing that ellen at work made beignets and went to town with the decorations in her office, I figured she must be celebrating early for some odd reason. Not once did i think that it was actually mardi gras. In my head i was certain that the actual Mardi Gras wasn't til march, but i must've been getting that mixed up with leprechaun day...even though in my head i was really thinking of brazilian-naked-dancing-bootay-shaking-til-you-drop Day, which is the same as mardi gras...

Apparently, mardi gras is also Pancake day, as the brit informed me. Since I am never one to argue with days that celebrate food, I complied to this bit of information, even though it was way too late to be eating. So we made pancakes, flipped them, then ate them.

Work is still full speed ahead, and everyday i have mini heart attacks when i think about what's to be done before next thursday when the show airs. There's not much time. Suddenly i'm transported back in time to 2005, a time when the idea of someone "ruling a remote" was the least of my worries, but at the same time, killing me softly, and very slowly. This now isn't half as bad as that time was, but every once in a while, something will spark a memory, which leads me to shudder in my seat.

And now i'm tired, so i bid thee adieu.

Midnight train of thought to Georgia

Ok, this "back in action" thing has been keeping me pretty busy. So far it's a good kind of busy, although last friday i was so close to losing my mind at work that all i wanted to do was yell at people and tell them how stupid they are. But my strategy instead was to avoid interaction, so i went home and made myself a sandwich for lunch, and watched I love lucy, which calmed me down a bit.

Part of it I think had to do with PMS. The thing with PMS, i think i'm pretty good with it, as in, i don't go all psycho crazy even though sometimes that's what it feels like in my head. But I hate not being in control of my emotions. Like right this minute i have an incredibly strong attraction to wolverine...but then again, he IS the sexiest man of the year so i guess that's not that strange. And yes, rob is still in the picture. In fact, i randomly found this on youtube on friday, and it brought a smile to my face during my inner moment of rage and fury. But, rob is a boy...wolverine is a MAN (and part wolf! grrrrrr)!

Ok, now i've completely lost track of what i came to blog about.

Basically, life is pretty good for me right now. All i'm missing is a personal creative project, something that i can get so excited about that i'd want to work on it when i get home from work. My creative juices are currently clogged, and that's a bit frustrating. But other than that, i really don't have much to complain about.

Privileged

Man, how much do i love this show. SO MUCH. Every week it just gets better and better. This week's episode was good by itself, and then they had to throw robbie in the mix. I knew he was coming, i just didn't know it was happening so soon. Sure, he's actually wearing clothes this time...but i see a breakup on the horizon, which means he'll soon be taking his shirt off as the new lead boy. I know it looks silly, but there are some complex and intricate plot points in this show! And tonight, i saw really good, serious acting! I wish you all knew how great this show was...

Meh

It's amazing how people can over look 1 number out of 7, and dial the wrong number. I have people calling me with reservations, thinking I'm the Jazz club down the street. I have this guy calling me once in a while, to tell the bus driver not to pick him up tomorrow for whatever reason. V day is coming up soon, I wonder how many will call to make reservations...and then...do I call them back again, like last year?

Also, if he hasn't asked to be your facebook friend, does that mean he's just not that into you? Ok, silly question, I know.

And, I know that movie production sometimes takes a while, but for a pretty low key movie like He's Just Not That Into You, which should be finished in a few months, definitely less than a year, you'd think they'd be up to speed on what's cool in social networking sites. That line, "Myspace is the new bootay call?" Um...yea, maybe that's why she hasn't heard from her man. Because he's ditched myspace and is chasing down girls on facebook. Just saying...

Lastly, some BOYS are stupid. Not all, I'm just saying some. The nerve of them some times! Really, so childish. Ugh.

An Odd Occurrence

An old man flipped me off yesterday....

I was about to make a right turn onto fountain. I looked both ways and saw the man crossing the street towards me. So I was going to wait til he crossed fully before making my turn. So he walks towards my car. Closer and closer. I figured he was going to walk in front of my car, or behind it. NOPE. He just stood there. Right next to my car. Yes, i was probably out into the street way more than i should've been but i couldn't have backed up, there was another car behind me. If he had crossed in front of my car he would've been fine. But he didn't. He was just standing in the middle of the street next to my car for a really long time! So then I decided to make my turn, and get out of his way. So I turned. And as i turned, I saw him in my side view mirror, clearly flipping me off. No words were exchanged, no anger. Just a stillness in his stance next to my car, and a silent but strong flip of the finger....

Also, has anyone noticed that when you cook up Trader Joes ground beef or turkey, they always look like poop pellets? I wonder why this is.

Work Fail

Had an unexpected breakdown tonight after fallout from the day.

One of the things I'm working on this year is confidence. Today was a combination of being over confident and lack of it, one of which led to the other but I can't tell which one came first, and I fell apart while on the phone with B. He happened to know what I was going to tell him, due to a mutual acquaintance that was involved, and the fact that he was completely aware of my fail before I even told him set me off the edge, and I just couldn't hold it together anymore. Kinda like when your pearl necklace breaks and all the little pearls go flying everywhere on the ground. But really, who breaks their pearl necklace anyways?

Two separate fails happened today, and though they didn't have anything to do with each other, the fact that they both landed on the same day ended up affecting each other. And I learned something from these incidents today, one of which being: don't judge someone based on first impressions. Yes, sometimes you can just tell what a person is like based on your first impressions of them, but sometimes, Sometimes, that person may just be having an off day. I know that the person I talked to today received a terrible first impression of me, and I know I could've made a better one. (Thats confidence speaking) But then again, maybe if I had a chance for a do-over, I'd end up doing the same thing, making a worse impression for the second time. (Thats the lack-of speaking) I don't know.

In any case, today was a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be better.

Pee-ew

Skunk. My nose is filled with skunk. Skunk in my car, skunk in my nose. I slept through skunk not knowing it was skunk. Even after a thorough shower i still smelled it. It's not very pleasant. Funny thing was, B and I were talking and he suddenly said, you smell good. I'm like, thanks, but that's the skunk. He said, no it must be your lotion or something. I said, no, i don't have any girly lotion on, all i have on is the skunk in my nose and my car. And then he said maybe its my shampoo. So i agreed but then realized later that i didn't wash my hair today, which means, it's still the skunk. I now know what to get him for christmas!

I had a nice exchange in the bathroom a few hours ago with this woman who held the door open for me. There were two stalls open, so we each went into one until she said, "I want that one" to the one I was heading in. I was all ready to give it up to her since she was so nice to open the door for me and all, but she said "just kidding" when she saw that I was ready to give it over. And then proceeded to talk about being pee-shy so I'd have to go first, and even just the mention of that made me pee-shy so then I told her she'd have to go first.

And um....this story was much funnier in person than in blog now that I think about it, I won't even go on.

So thanks to the random lady at cat and the fiddle for making me laugh while i was trying to pee. It's much appreciated.

I need a camera phone.

Threatening note posted at the starbuck's pickup counter:

Children left playing unattended at the bar will be given espresso and a puppy.

Loved it. Wish I had a photo to back it up. Like say...a photo taken on my iphone that I can then instantly upload to various online outlets, networks, and blogs which would then generate "lol"-like comments and or starbucks haters buzz through the internet wires.

But until then, I will just write a little post about it on my little blog, and wait for the androgynous anonymous to make a comment about it.




Annnnnnnnnnd go.

Oh dear...

The thing about being home is that i end up watching the news. The news that tells me everyday that unemployment is at an all time high....since wwii?? I wish i could quit the news...but it is my source to the outside world. Le sigh.

I have this big tree in front of my window. It blocks my light, and I kind of hate it. But i can't help but look outside every now and then and thinking what a great tree it would be for a tree lounge. Not a tree house, after all, we are in desperate economic times, and I assume the housing crisis would apply to trees. But a nice little lounge with pillows and candles would be nice. An extension to my patio that i never use.

Let's get ready to rumble!

Oh no...they just keep coming. There's been a slew of small earthquakes in socal lately. Lately as in within the past two or three months. A couple here, a couple there. Never anything big. Always out there in the boonies or the 909. It just worries me of what's to come. It's like the earth is slowly sneaking up on us...vewy vewy swowy.

AND THEN BOOM!

It'll take us by surprise.