Square One

When I was younger I remember thinking that I would die at a young age.  Early 20s I was predicting, whether from sickness or some freak accident.  I don't know if that was just a thing you have as a kid, where you can't see far enough in the future so you just assumed death was looming around the corner, or if it was one of those sixth sense feelings I have every now and again that just never came to fruition.

In any case, I seem to have bypassed  that phase of my life and am now well into...well nearly 30, not in the greatest shape of my life but physically healthy for the most part.

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that I've made it this far.  Not that I worried too much about death when I was younger, I just figured if it happened it happened and if it didn't well it didn't.  But I guess I could've reassured my younger self about where I am now so that I could see further into the future.

Von asked me the other day where I see myself in five years and I panicked for a brief second because I didn't know and i still don't know.  

But one thing I realized today was that I don't see myself dead anymore when I think about my future.  I still can't quite picture or imagine my future but that dying young feeling has passed.  Which is good I guess.

But I still can't see myself 5 years from now.  Can you?  Even if you can't see yourself 5 years from now at least you have a pretty good idea about where you'd like to be in your life, right?  I don't think I can even say that.  

I need to do some thinking about this.  

As chris martin says:
The future's for discovering 
the space in which we're traveling.

Full speed ahead mr. zulu.