Hey...no fair. If you're going to post a comment, you can't post as "anonymous." Whatever! If you're going to do something, do it right. Names people! Come on now.

So i had my class last night. It didn't go as well as i had hoped. When i showed up, most everyone was already there, so I had to just find a place to sit down. The one thing i noticed immediately: 80% of the class was over 50. Interesting, i thought. I sit down next to this girl sitting by herself, who also happened to be my age. She asked how old i was, and i asked how old she was. She whispered back and either said, 13, or 30, i could not for the life of me figure it out. You'd think one would be able to tell a 13 yr old from a 30 yr. old....but nope, i couldn't. I didn't want to insult her either way so i tried to ask her more questions. I've deduced that she is 30. Or, almost 30.

Anyway, so one bad thing happens after the next. First we tune up, and i realize that my violin has rusted. Well, not literally, but my pegs were stuck and i couldn't turn them to tune. So by the time everyone was well into the first piece, i was the only one still tuning. After a while, i just gave up, because i couldn't hear myself over everyone else playing, so i kinda just sat there, listening to everyone else. During pauses i would quietly try to tune, and i was able to somehow finally tune up. It wasn't perfect, but it was close. So i try to play but i haven't played in forever and a year, so my fingers were rusty too, and they weren't doing what my eyes were telling my brain to tell my fingers to do. I end up faking half of it.

THEN. During the break, the conductor guy comes up to me and says he hasn't seen me before (apparently he knows everyone else there, no one else is new?) and starts asking me some questions. How long have i been playing? How did i hear about this class? Where else have i played? Do i go to this school? What was the last orchestra i played with. Last orchestra? You mean i had to have played in a real orchestra??? "Um...highschool?" was my stupid reply to that last question. His face then turned doubtful. He said, since he doesn't know me, he has to hear me play to know where to place me (I had sat myself down in the first violin section. Thats just where i'm used to sitting!). He asked me to play a few measures of a piece. So then i panicked. I tried. It sounded horrible. And it was break time so the room was pretty quiet with people just milling about. I wanted to tell him, my violin's on crack and it doesn't want to tune right! I haven't played in years! This is my first time looking at the music! All these excuses were running in my head, but he didn't seem to have heard me mutter them. So i played once. Mess up. Played again. Mess up. After that i was determined to play the best messed up measures EVER. And i did. Boy, it was horrible. I think even people stopped practicing to themselves just to hear me, because all of a sudden it got really quiet. And that made me more nervous. So finally he stopped me and said, well, based on your experience (i think he meant LACK of it), you should really be sitting with the 2nd violins. And sign these forms, and yadda yadda. Ok, fair enough. I didn't mind sitting with the second violins. I just wished i had played better in front of him. Now he's going to think that i'm some ammateur-straight-out-of-HS-violin-player. Well, even though i am. But, i just wished i was able to fake my inabilities more so i could impress him. Oh well.

Since i had started with the first violins, i decided to stay there (even though he had already told me i should be with the 2nd violins). I didn't feel like moving, and i didn't know where to get 2nd violin music. And really, it'll probably be my last time ever in the 1st violin section after my horrible 2 minute audition. So then we tune up again, and OF COURSE, when i put my violin away during the break, it had untuned itself again, and once again, i was sitting there trying to adjust my pegs while everyone started playing. This time, i couldn't tune it as close as i did the first time, so i just said screw it, and played. For those of you who don't know, you can still play the right notes if your violin isn't tuned 100%. You just have to shift your positions a little. So thats what i attempted to do. ATTEMPTED. I mean, it was ok, it didn't sound completely right, but it wasn't completely off either. Once in a while i would hit the wrong note. So, i'm sure the conductor could hear me playing out of tune. I just wish i could've told him that my violin was out of tune, and i KNEW i was playing out of tune, i'm not tone deaf. Well, not completely. ;-) I played about 30% of the music, and faked the rest.

And then, when the whole thing was over, i went up to the conductor to ask if there was anything else i should do. He emphasized again that i should be getting 2nd violin music. It might be just me and my paranoia, but i just got the feeling that he wasn't too happy that i was there. He didn't seem entirely welcoming to a girl who just wants to play her damn violin. But then again, what was i expecting? A red carpet welcome?

Now i can't back out. He said he'll call people if they don't show up. Plus i took a copy of the music home with me, so i'd have to return it eventually. I've got nowhere to hide. Ok, so first day of school didn't go too well, and i'm feeling a little dejected. But i'm determined to just brush it off and just keep going.

Cut to: SH in a light blue sweat suit combo gear with worn in new balance running shoes, a sweatband on both head and wrists, running in place. She then turns to face the sun, so all you see is her dark silhouette...She runs off towards the morning sun - images reminiscent of Rocky 1, 4, and 5. V.O is heard offscreen: Just shake it off SH, shake it off. A soft "Eye of the Tiger" fades up in the background. Dun! Dun dun dun.... Dissolve to:

But ok really. To tell you the truth, a part of me wants to go just to spite the conductor. Y'know, cramp his style. Make him a little nervous about me ruining his precious orchestra. Maybe after some practice and rehearsals i'll be back up to speed again, and i can prove him wrong. Boy, I love to prove people wrong. Maybe a little too much. So, it's not exactly the greatest reason to want to go back, but hey, its a reason right?

So now i'm Risin' up, back on the street...