Banter #429

There's something about me and lesbians. Since college, a lot of my closest girlfriends have been lesbians. Actually, gay boys too. Hm. Wonder why that is. Probably because there's a lot more openly gay people in socal? And probably because there's less catty female competition with the lesbians and less sexual tension with the gay boys, and once those things are out of the way it's easier to become close. Yes, that must be it. Random, I know, but just a thought that popped into my head.

So you know how people are always saying it's a good thing to go out there and meet new people? What about the current people you have now? I mean, I always feel so bad for not keeping in better touch with some of my friends. Some of them I'd like to see more, some of them I haven't talked to or seen in years. Yet, I know there's still that friendship there, or I hope there still is. Instead of going out and meeting MORE new people, shouldn't we be spending that time fostering old friendships? But then again, if that other person hasn't kept in touch with me much either, maybe they're just as busy as I am. Maybe they're just over me.

Got some books at the library today, really excited about them. I always get more than I can actually handle within the checkout date, but...oh well. You never know when you'll get bored with one. Oh yea, and the self checkout machines are AMAZING. You just put the books on the glass...and the titles just pop up automatically one at a time on the computer machine. Even when all the books are stacked on top of one another. Even if it is a scanner...the stacked books are covering the barcodes. Is it...magnetic? How does it do that? Amazing. Small selection, but amazing technology.

Wheeee!

With all this extra work going on, I've not been keeping up with the olympics. For some reason though, winter olympics never seem as interesting as the summer olympics. Anyone know what I've been missing? Something about a flamboyant male figure ice skater who has his own show on the sundance channel. Shaun white this or that. Plushenko vs the Russians. Something something. I get bits and pieces of information here and there, but I don't quite want to dig to figure it out. Meh.

Synergy. Today there was synergy downtown involving food trucks. Too tired to get into that now.

I just got home from the roller rink, and I have bits of the smell stuck in my nose. There is some hold up with freelance work, so I found myself with the night off, and C and I decided at the last minute to go roller skating. There is actually one really close to my new place. It reminded me of highschool. It was a lot of fun, but now I am pooped out. Going fast feels like flying, and my hair blowing in the wind feels like...well just really good. There were a few small kids there that could do the most amazing things. Must learn how to skate backwards. Or put one leg in front of the other without losing my balance...

Um...girls!

Did you watch the disney proposal link below? No thoughts?

Procrastination

It's hard to work...and then come home to more work. I've already let myself chill out for an hour...it's time to crack into it. Yet, here I am. Writing useless things.

Unless! I have some sort of great story to divulge, then it wouldn't be so useless. It'd be recording history...

Hm...nothing.

I'm really enjoying the italiano at work. He's a great kid. Plus he's always in a love affair or another, and I like to live vicariously through his stories. C and I ask him to speak italian to us so we can swoon. Except last week we went to get dim sum and I was ordering for us all and he was just as amazed by my abilities to speak as I am with his. Go fig.

Today I had some time to just chill with some coworkers and we got on the subject of highschool and sex ed and nostalgic things like...Remember ditto sheets? With that purple ink? And projectors where you listen along to a tape and when the tape beeps you advance the projection one frame? And cement glue? Ah...sweet sweet cement glue. I loved the smell of it. And brett with his charming self was just going on and on about silly and funny things. I laughed so hard my cheeks are sore...even now.

So for today, I'm grateful to still have a job with great people that make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Seriously it was some funny stuff.

Close Encounter

...of the stinky kind.

I walked out of the basement tonight only to find...A SKUNK! He was only a few feet away, and for some reason, he scared me, even though I was bigger than him. I HAD to walk by him in order to get back inside. I tried stomping really loud, knocking on the door, making some sort of noise to scare him away, but not TOO scared that he would release his awesomeness. But nothing. He was too busy digging the hole he was digging or whatever he was doing to mind me. So I turned off the lights and ran as fast as I could, though as quietly as I could, back inside. I made it in safely, but before I did so, I turned to see whether he had run away from hearing me. Nope. Skunk dood was still digging his hole. I wonder why he was so fascinated. Well in doing so I didn't want to risk the chance of struggling with locking the basement door, which I will do in the morning, but now I wonder if I closed it completely, and if not...will skunk dood crawl inside?

Also today, Joel demonstrated what a fist pump looked like. Although earlier I asked dan and james, and they didn't seem to be TOO completely clear either, so I didn't feel as lame as last night.

Hrm.

Random thought that just popped in my head: What exactly is a fist pump? I know what a fist bump is, but I'm not quite sure I know exactly what a fist PUMP is. I think i might know, but it doesn't quite make sense in my head, because I associate the word fist pump with a continual movement of the fists, like how one would churn butter....I need a demonstration tomorrow from a coworker or something. Just to make sure I know what I THINK I know.

Had a lovely afternoon with the Warrens today in between work madness. We went to travel town and rode the train, which was quite exciting. I always thought the train went around the whole entire park, but alas, it doesn't. But on our way home we saw another train in a different area of the park, and I wonder if that's the one the goes around the park? Is there even one that goes around the park? It was a lovely day out and on top of that a holiday, so all the kids and families were out.

Oh, did i mention, I love my place? Really, on days like these I can really appreciate my place even more, because even when stuck inside working, I can still see and feel the sunshine outside. It's lovely.

It's suppose to hit 80 tomorrow? Is it summer already??

For the girls

Wow, how glad am i that i didn't see this yesterday. Who does this?!?! Ok, so I teared up a little. But that doesn't make it ok for these magical things to happen out of no where! Hear me? Not O. K.

Da bears.

Love how I resort to blogging when procrastinating. Not that this working from home isn't great, it'll be nice extra cash. But it's hard to just sit in front of the computer for so long.

Oh dreaded Vday. I'm sure it's great for lovers everywhere. But I was never a huge fan. I wonder though if I'll feel differently if I'm ever with someone meaningful on Vday. I'm going to say not..but who knows, I'm open to change. I saw this guy walking across the street with a huge teddy bear in his arms earlier. And i was like, REALLY? You probably just spent $30 on this plushed animal, and it's just going to sit there. She's not going to know what to do with it after a week. But she can't throw it out cuz it was a gift. But it'll be taking up a huge corner in her bedroom, just collecting dust.

Do I sound bitter? I just think you can be a bit more practical. Not that all gifts have to be practical I guess. An itunes gift card would've been nicer than a giant stuffed bear. But then again, that is me, and I'm single, alone, and working on Valentine's night, so what do I know?

Absolutely nothing.

(Maybe there was an itunes gift card in the card portion of the gift? Maybe it's just a way to hide a bunch of mj and coke to sell under the guise of this love holiday because no one will doubt a cuddly bear and rip him open to check to see if there are drugs on a night like tonight? Maybe.)

Back to work!

Year of the Tiger

Wow the local news just reminded everyone that it's valentine's day. Thanks nbc.

In honor of this day, here's some reading. My, this holiday started a lot earlier than I thought!

But don't forget, it's also Chinese New Year. So who cares about Vday.

Stressful day of overwhelming things...for a saturday! Too tired to get into it now, will attempt to do another 3 hours of work before bed.

Time for some minty tea.

Hi-larity

There is this high school I drive by on the way to work. A couple mornings ago, I was stopped at the stop light and saw a class of students in the field behind a building doing gym things. In front of the building though, in a corner, was this boy and this girl, just hiding in the corner....and they were canoodling! Canoodling when they're suppose to be doing gym things! I guess they were still being physical, but instead of on the field, they were practicing on each other. And then the light turned green and I had to go, but it looked like they were about to get MORE physical. Now, my question is...how did they manage to get out of gym and hide in that corner? I don't think I know how to NOT follow the rules. My cover would be blown within seconds, but there they were, casually canoodling in the corner. As I drove away, I was about as intrigued and curious as I was jealous. Yes.

I nearly saw a guy naked tonight. No make that two. I went to see a show that one of my colleague's directed, and the show after that was one with these two guys. Funny guys. Good show. But the last part of their show, they both came out, one at a time, completely naked with only their hands holding their junk. Oooooooh I was so nervous for them. What if they tripped and fell? What if he had to sneeze? What if someone in the audience threw a ball at them and they had to catch it or be hit in the face with it? Luckily (for everyone involved), none of those scenarios came to fruition, and no one's business went on display. But, I thought they were brave little souls. (And here would be where I make a joke about having the balls to do such a thing...but, I'll leave the comedy to the professionals. And thank you.) UCB. Fun place. Sarah, you should check it out.

PS

Oh yeah, also, I love my red hoodie jacket.  I had some reservations before I got it, but I am so glad I did.  Why just today, I got two compliments on it from two complete strangers.  WIN!!  I feel like it's worth every penny, and is doing it's job perfectly.

This weather...I can't wait for the summer again when I can wear my pretty pretty dresses.  I've got dress fever!

And antsy legs. 

Working for the weekend?

The coming weekend is overwhelming me. I feel like there is so much going on, and have already overbooked with a maybe weekend gig. Funny how sometimes there is NOTHING going on, and other times, there's too much. Should be a fun weekend though.

Um, if i was going to have a low key weekend, I'd probably spend it self reflecting. There needs to be changes, pronto. However, all these changes will need to be compiled into a "need to do list" per sarah and my plan from a month ago. It's all swimming up in my head, i just need to focus and organize and write them down. Soon sarah, soon.

I think I just semi sat through an episode of Friends about facebook?

Just waiting for the laundry to be done then off to bed.

A box just fell down behind me, it freaked me out.

I need a new job....again. The job is great, don't get me wrong, but today I realized that I'm bored and comfortable there, which is probably not a good combination. It's steady, the hours are great, the people are great. It's just the work. I'm getting bored with the work, and I don't feel like I'm learning anything new or growing there. I'm stagnant and it's making me antsy.

I also need a new love life. Maybe I am really wasting away the best years of my life? Ok, not really. But it would be nice to have a plus 1 to help build some ikea furniture. Especially those tall ones. First though, I need to figure out what I am looking for in an ideal mate. Let me mull it over for a few weeks. Maybe a few months. I'll get back to ya.

Gonna check on the laundry, goodnite blog world!

Monday monday

Wow, how much do I love and WANT this dress? I know it's hard to see how fabulous they are since they're sitting down, but they're the best dresses to twirl around in from the looks of it. They seem simple enough to make, so maybe in a few years when I'm more handy with my sewing machine. This movie was good, but I could've done without a lot more of the singing and dancing. I know that's unheard of coming from me, but it was just a bit much and made things a bit silly. But the story was great! All twisted into each other. I'm surprised they haven't tried to remake this yet.

There is another dress I want from yet another movie, but I'm keeping that under wraps until the day I can make my own stuff, so it doesn't get leaked out to the general public.

It's amazing how great my phone is. I know I don't take care of it as much as I should, but I really do love it. Just yesterday, on the drive back home, I saw these signs that said "Congress created dust bowls." I remember seeing them on my last trip up a while ago, but never knew what they meant. And by the time I got home I completely forgot about it. This time, I was simply able to look it up on my phone. A-mazing.

Ugh...now all I want are pretty dresses.

Ah Sweet Internet...

Just got back from a great weekend up north with some dear old friends. I'm pooped. And a bit nauseous. I hate that I'm so sensitive to motion. Seriously, it's annoying.

Fortunately Andrew was surprised with the party, and my presence. Sharon put on an awesome casino themed party, complete with red carpet, craps table, poker, karaoke, rock band, booze, food, and cake. Ohhhhh the cakes. Three delicious ones that made it into my stomach (kinda wish I had more of it right now, I bet it's just sitting in their fridge as I type this). I ate way too much, laughed with friends old and new, kept the drinking at a very minimum, and stayed up way too late. Ah, I love A&S. This weekend made me really miss having them around. But it's nice to know that they're still in my life and we can still have great times like this weekend.

Also on Friday night, before I left, I found out my friend Gilbert had a heart attack earlier that day and was in the hospital. It freaked me out. He's only a few years older than me, it's crazy. Luckily he's fine now, out of the hospital. I went to visit him tonight at his parents' place and he was doing alright. He plans to move back home for a while which is just down the street from me now, which is great. It makes me realize that I need to take care of myself better. I need to eat better and exercise more. You just never know what can happen. He's fine, but he's going to have to monitor himself from now on. I'm just so glad he's ok.

Here's to a great week ahead!

Jibba Jabba

It's a slow news week when there's no grinch-like christmas burglary or maddening managers to report.  Really...slow.

Also this cable thing is very dangerous.  I've been finding myself staying up these past few nights to watch blueberry pancake cookoffs and salon contests and yes I admit, even the kardashians.  It all seems very relevant at the moment, but there is guilt and remorse as soon as I turn it off.  Really it's just such a waste of time and I end up feeling guilty about not doing something more productive with that sweet precious time.  It was alot easier to avoid tv when all I had was 5 channels.

Although watching the food network has made me want to cook more.  I made a batch of chicken tortilla soup a few days ago and I have to say, it turned out quite good. But...is it still considered cooking when the slowcooker is doing all the work?This slow cooker thing is great, I must find some new recipes.
AW if you're out there, I hear you have a great one for chili?

I've been a bit preoccupied and busy but next week! is the week I get back into gear. Hopefully I'll have the Internet by then too.

Olds

Still no Internet for the weekend. ATT screwed me over. Let's hope I
get it next week. In the mean time, I've discovered posting blogs
from email. It's great. I've known about it, just never had to use
it...until now. Here's a pic I've been meaning to post from two weeks
ago. The new office. It's fantabulous.

WTF?

Yawn

Waiting for the italiano to come pick me up so we can go give blood. It always makes me a bit nervous. Best to do with someone.

A good friend of mine got laid off yesterday at my old place of employment. Layoffs are always a bit of a downer, but I'm excited for her. I feel as though there will be bigger and better things for her out in the world. I just know it.

**********

Ok, so I just got back from lunch and giving blood. Bandages on both arms! The lady was poking around for a vein and couldn't get it. As soon as she started talking I had an idea that would happen. She tried to do my other arm but I think got nervous and had someone else come do it. Later I talked to some coworkers and the same thing happened to them with the same lady. Yikes. Now I'll have a huge bruise on my arm.

Getting sleepy now...

Pepe la pee-u!

Skunks. There's a lot of them in atwater apparently. One night I came home and from the time i stopped my car to the time I got out, it smelled like skunk already. This morning, I was woken by the smell of pungent skunk at 6am. The smell really hits a nerve in my nose or something because...boy, it's bad. Makes me kind of nauseous. I thought it was so cute and charming that there was a local bar called Stinkys and there were fake skunks dressed up as lumber jacks and skunk families inside. Um...not so cute and charming anymore.

It's great not having any immediate neighbors. Really, it's fantastic. No heavy boot foot man upstairs with his tiny dog (which wasn't even allowed), no mariachi music on one side, no loud running or tv on the other side, no garage door opening and closing sounds below me. I'm sleeping so much better these days. I can't tell if its from the lack of noise or the new (well old but new to me) comfy mattress. But really, it's all fantastic.

However I do hear these weird noises at night. Not ones that bother me like the noises listed above, just ones that scare me. I think its the skunks and the squirrels and the possums out and about, and sure I'm bigger than them, I've got nothing to be afraid of. But this having no immediate neighbor makes me wonder who will ever hear me if I have to scream for help?

First of all, I can't really scream. I just...can't. Don't know how. The closest I get to screaming is this sort of pathetic yell. "Hey...hey you!" And even though the neighbors in the main house aren't exactly far away, they're really just not close enough to hear my pathetic yell, if I ever have to break it out. Let's just hope I won't ever have to.

Meh.

Ok, week 2 and I think the excitement is starting to wear off.  Was bound to happen eventually.  It's not quite home yet as everything is still so new.  Maybe once I'm able to put everything away I can start settling in.  But for now, it's just nice.

Man, not having the Internet at home really makes a difference.  I do browse during the day at work, but I really try to save correspondances and heavy browsing and whatnot for home, and I just feel like I haven't been able to get anything done, or keep up and be on top of things.  Just a few more days.

And man, I thought I was missing out without cable, turns out I was wrong.  There is just so much crap on all those channels!  Granted I don't have the premium channels like hbo, but really, I can probably wait til those shows come out dvd.  Ugh so disappointing.  For tv, but not for me.  This leaves me more time for things like...blogging.

Old apt update: my last day is end of the month.  On Saturday I called her to schedule a walkthrough and she said she'd have to talk to her supervisor to schedule something and would call me back.  Well, it's almost Thursday and she hasn't called.  Big surprise.  Sigh.

Nothing else exciting to report that I can really talk about.  I'm a snooze and a half. 

Phoning it in...

Quite the productive weekend I'd have to say.  Even got myself a massage!

A week later, the new place is still AWESOME.  Still working out a few kinks here and there but the landlord has been really nice and helpful.  Already have had several visitors, it seems as though I'm closer to more friends now.  Still trying to find a place for everything, and doing some cleaning and throwing out as well.  

Today I went through the college box, where I've saved my essays and notebooks from classes long ago.  Couldn't throw away my essays, though I did get rid of a few math notebooks.  I look back on them now and am amazed at the foreign language staring back at me, in numbers and equations.  I liked some math, but contrary to popular belief, just because I'm asian doesn't mean I was good at math.  I wasn't bad either, just not great.  Advance calculas senior yr kicked my ass.  Very hard.  And I can't even remember the classes in college.  But today I saw that I was able to work out amazing equations.  Really, they were amazing.  You should see the tests I saved.

The thing with throwing out stuff...it's just so hard.  You know you haven't touched this stuff in years so technically you don't really need it, but there's so much memory attached to everything.  And then the thought that maybe if you're famous someday, or have kids, or die before your time, someone will have use for this math test you got a B- on one quarter in college, which they totally don't.  I know you know what i mean S, you've been there.  So I still saved some notebooks from college, mostly of the film and music and history classes I took, to someday read through them again and refresh my education that I'm still trying to pay off.

Also there was a box of memories from the days of the HS bf.  We've both moved on long ago, but it was nice to reread what a sweet guy he was to me (nothing like the jerks in my old age, that's another post altogether).  Must find another HS bf.  Perhaps I'll patrol the local school perimeters this week?

Watched a bit of the Haiti telethon on Friday.  For some reason I was looking forward to it, thinking celebrities and musicians would make a great program for a few hours while doing some good.  Boy was I wrong.  It was nicely done, some great performances (love that JT) but it was so depressing at the same time.  

Hopefully I'll be back in action once I get my Internet back this week.  Until then, tootaloo!  

Done!!

Well, not quite.  But at least all the stuff is moved in now.  Just have to figure out where things go.  

Had an anxiety filled morning/afternoon as the rain just kept coming down harder and harder.  The movers decided to take lunch hoping the rain would lighten up.  Thankfully, it did.  Though not as much as I would've liked.  A few wet boxes and very messy floors.  I haven't plugged all the electronics in just yet, I think I'll let them dry out for a bit, just in case.  Of course, right when the movers finished is when the rain decided to stop completely, and the sun came out.  Of.  Course.

Focusing in the positive stuff: I'm really loving this place so far.  The heat's not working so it's a bit cold, but I've got Harry the big spider in the bathroom to keep me company.  (Someone tell him he's Got to Go.) I think once I fully unpack it'll be quite lovely here.  Oh and just before I came to bed I decided to go through all my channels: discovery, history, CNN, it's all there!  Basic cable, wow.  How exciting.  Oh and the FOOD network!!!!  Yes friends, I'm going to like it here.

Outtie

It's a little weird that I can hear my upstairs neighbor peeing while I'm trying to drift off to sleep.. And then not flushing or washing hands.  Like the sound of him peeing pulled me out of whatever rem cycle i was about to head into.  Oh I can't wait to be out of here.  I hope it goes ok in the morning.  The rain doesn't want to stop.  Now all my stuff will get wet and dirty from the rain.  I'm also a bit worried about the new place, as no one has lived in it before, it may not be entirely rainproof.  I'm just thinking about leaving my new place to go to work and coming home to see my computer in a flood.  That's scary.
Ever since the burglary I haven't been able to stay out at night without being a little worried about coming home to SOMETHING.  For the past few days it's been thoughts that maybe the manager would retaliate against me being such a pain in her ass somehow while I was gone.  I wonder if I'll keep having these thoughts in the new place, thoughts about something going wrong while I'm gone.  I hope they go away.

Ho famé

It's the only thing I successfully retained from italian classes. Sad, but true. I used to be able to write paragraphs and sentences, but now, ho famé is the only thing left. Fortunately it is the most important.

My mom texted me last night to ask me if I was already sleeping and if not to call her. I promptly called her, welcoming her to the texting world. She replied that it's nothing new, she's been texting my brother for a while now. Years it sounded like. I am so behind on the times.

I'm avoiding packing the kitchen, because every time I look at it I'm reminded of all the glass to pack up. It's suppose to rain on monday, I'm kind of worried about that. If only the rain will wait until 2pm. Please rain, will you do that for me? Then you can rain as much as you want for the rest of the week. Oh wait, you're already going to be here ALL week. Just hold off til late Monday afternoon will ya?

I did manage to move into the new office at work, and it is fantastic. Aside from the weird awkwardness with D, it's been mostly excitement. Also I don't have to edit with headphones anymore. Headbands, welcome back to my life! Actually, you were never in my life much. Um...but maybe now you will be.

In the morning I will tackle 60+ cupcakes for S's big bash. I hope I win. And not the cupcakes. Cupcakes, packing, maybe taking down the curtains, party, sleep, MOVE! That's my next 48 hour outlook.

Immensities

In dealing with my own personal dramas yesterday, I missed out on the news of the world. I heard a bit here and there about the earthquake but did not realize the seriousness and the immensity of it all. Today I read all the updates on CNN and it made me want to cry. So many people, gone within minutes. And then you hear about all the people that are heading over and volunteering not only money but their time out of their lives to help these people, it just makes you think how amazing human beings are. When disaster strikes, people are so quick to want to help.

So why doesn't she want to help me? Why is she giving me such a hard time??? I just don't get it. I really don't. It's her building, why doesn't she want to see the footage herself?

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to extend my abilities to help others, and hope that it somehow comes back to me, through her. Not that I want anything from anyone else. Just her.

And yes, I know that's all very selfish despite all the other things that are going on in the world. I can't help it. She's made things very hard.

Sold the bed and slept on the blow up mattress last night, that was a bit tough to get used to, but woke up this morning feeling pretty ok. I am surprised at how well I am doing with this whole moving thing, and how quickly and efficiently I'm packing. Still waiting for the weekend to pack up the bulk of the stuff, but I think I'm ahead of my own game. It's funny how last time I moved I was so stressed over everything and had such a hard time, but this time I'm packing early and getting rid of stuff. Probably because I can't wait to get out of here. It's really too bad that I'm leaving on such a bad note, I've had some good times here.


See ya hollywood, don't ever want to be ya.

Say cheese!

Oh my gosh.

I've almost finished a whole entire box of mac n cheese by myself. By the time i finish this post, it will probably be gone. Damn you little yellow spiral noodles...damn you.

I'm trying to eat all my food in my pantry and fridge this week before I move. Ok, not ALL, but trying to finish up stuff rather than eating out.

I've decided that MLK day will be moving day. Still lots to do before then, but I think i did pretty good this weekend as I'm looking around at the piles.

Uh, so awkward moment at work today.

In the morning I discussed with boss man about me moving into the new office. Once we came to an agreement, he had said he would make an announcement about it (to the other two in the room). He didn't come in all day. By late afternoon, I was thinking that I'd have to tell D that I was moving out and into my own office myself...and soon. But got busy with work. Then S came in at the end of the day to say goodbye, and says, "oh hey heard you're moving into your new office!" I think by the surprised look on my face, and D's face, he realized he shouldn't have said anything. So D was totally surprised and caught off guard, and seemed a bit bummed that I get to move and he doesn't. And I mumbled something or the other. I don't know how S knew, maybe because my new office will be next to his, so word got around. And then later a tech guy came in and also said in front of everyone "oh so you're moving into your own office." But tech guy knew because there's been these emails going around to the tech guys about moving me. But D doesn't know that. So now it seems like I'm just telling everyone about this new office except for him. Sigh. Minor I guess. By Thursday I'll have my own office and by Monday I'll have a new apartment!!

It's OLDK!!

Don't think I mentioned this earlier, but the landlord was very eager to tell me about the 120 free cable channels I'll be getting. I tried to feign some excitement but...I kind of like not having access to cable. ABC, NBC, FOX, CW, and the occasional KCAL for People's Court has been all I really needed. More than enough to keep me busy. Plus I have about 100 years of movies to catch up on. Who has time for cable? It'll be nice I guess, I can maybe finally catch up on some antique's roadshow, and 100 other random shows.

Speaking of movies, I finished Play It Again Sam this weekend. It's hilarious. I know a lot of people aren't fans of Woody Allen, but if I was an older...jewish...man, I think I'd be the characters in his films. The really funny scenes of him dating different women aren't that far from real life...my life. Or maybe I find it funny only because I can relate? Oh. That seems kinda sad.

Oy...that mac and cheese is really expanding in my stomach right now. Guess I couldn't finish it all. But I was pretty dang close. Close enough to maybe keep working on it...

CYA. Nom nom nom.

Booooo

Uh oh, a cough.

So I want to rant about awful january movies. Especially those directed towards women.

First up: Leap Year. Type A tight ass meets good looking irish lad in foreign land and together they explore the land and discover their love for each other. Really Amy Adams, really? This is the direction you want to take your careers? And the story...going to ireland to propose to your fiancee? Really writers? Really? I keep seeing commercials for this movie, and I always get that song "Just say yes" in my head. Let's be a little less obvious with music choices, music supervisor, yes? Sigh. As dumb as this looks....it was shot in Ireland...I might have to watch this for research...you know, for travel purposes. But I'm not going to like it!

Next up: When in Rome. Just looks awful. I can't go on.

I know that January is always a bleak time for movies, but really, it doesn't even seem like they're trying anymore if this is what we have to look forward to.

Oh geez. And russell crow is going to play Robin Hood this summer. There is only ONE robin hood, and that is this sexy beast:

OCD

I think my neighbor has it.

Every morning, when she goes to work, I hear the door slam. And the running, but y'all know about that. So the door slams, and I'll hear all this shaking about. Sounds kind of like her keys jiggling in the door lock. Not that weird. But 8 times in succession? Kind of weird right?

Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle. Jiggle jiggle.

I've taken to counting it. It's 8 every time. Now I'm not sure if that's actually what she is doing, I can only hear it, I've never seen it in person. But I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

DONE!

Friends. Readers.

Today I received keys to the new place. And....cue trumpets and confetti...

I am now going to be a resident of Atwater! Exciting! Crowd cheers. More trumpets.

I took another look at the place today and as he was showing me around and how to use things, I got more and more excited. It's going to be great. Afterwards I drove around to check out the new neighborhood, and I love it already. Little shops and restaurants everywhere. Corporate coffee or indy coffee for me to choose from. Two really great bars so that I can walk home if I ever get TOO intoxicated, right. COSTCO!! Farmers market on the weekends in the el torito parking lot. Oh and also...Pho! I'll be fat and happy by the end of the month. Unless I decide to go running in the neighborhood, which I can totally do now without hacking on smog and tripping on uneven sidewalks.

Oh! A moment of silence for my shiny red bike, we were going to have such fun at the park now that I'm closer to the park. Maybe I'll get a replacement, but it'll never be anything like my first new bike. Wherever you are tonight, I hope you are being used to your potential, and not hacked up and sold as parts somewhere...strewn across Los Angeles.

Thank you.

Landlord says I can paint and make it comfortable. I'll have a new bed to sleep on. Overall it will be great. And I'm finally excited.

As I was driving home I decided to go down hollywood blvd since I never take that street. It's amazing how much it's changed, even in the time that I've been here. S, I saw the sign for your church, has that always been there? It looks great! Old stores, swanky restaurants, run down restaurants, hooker boots stores, theaters, hotels and lofts, Scientology, there's a lot going on there. One of these days I'll have to be a tourist and walk down that street and see everything on foot. Who's with me? Crickets.

I'm doing well with the packing. Tomorrow I tackle the kitchen.

It's on like donkey kong

I've been saying that alot. Pumping myself up for things. I want things to be on. But if they're on like donkey kong, well heck....game over!

Tomorrow I go sign the papers and hand over the deposit and whatnot. I'm kind of nervous. What if I show up and I don't like it as much anymore? It is a smaller place, what if I start feeling all cramped and stuck? What ifs what ifs. I guess I will just have to see.

This thing happened today that was kind of neat. I left work early cause I wasn't feeling well. When I get home I see this email from boss man, probably cause he couldn't find me. There's been three of us crammed into one office (one of which has been really sick these past two days, hacking, sniffling, nose blowing...and he would not go home!! I think the germs floated over to my side...) and we've complained about how hard it is to work with three, especially when others have to come in. Anyway, so I get an email from boss man that said we're getting another office, and since I'm senior editor in residence, I get to pick if I want to stay or move into the new bay. Um, excuse me, senior editor? I was not aware that I was. I'm not even sure when this happened, or if it legitimately happened. But I get to pick!! Awesome.

I just feel like I've climbed over a mountain, since when I first started, I felt like I had to fight for a seat to get into the boys club or to get any legitimacy or attention. But I proved myself by working hard and showing them what I'm capable of and suddenly I'm a senior without even knowing it.

The question now is, should I stay or should I go? The obvious choice would appear to be to move into my own office. But then D and the freelancer would be in the other office together, and I'd feel left out of the team. If there's a boys club anywhere, I always want in. Or at least close enough where I can hear about what's going on. I'd be way isolated and may miss out on key discussions that I may want to be in on if I were in my own office. I just hate missing out on things. Also, D may be bitter if he saw that I got my own office and he didn't. I don't think anyone is really aware that I'm a senior, they just see me as the go to gal.

Oh decisions decisions.

I got a chance to go to the cupcakery today, and what a great little place. They even had special packaging for my cupcake so that the frosting wouldn't get smooshed in the bag. How thoughtful. I thought it was a great idea, but I also felt guilty as it was kind of a waste of packaging for one cupcake. Cupcake paper, cupcake protector ring + holder, wax coated paper bag. For one cupcake! That I ate within 5 minutes of getting packaged. I didn't realize there was a cupcake protector ring + holder until I got home and opened the bag. If I had known, I would've walked around the block a couple of times, just to make sure I was getting the most use out of it. I had half of it earlier. I think I'll go work on the other half now. But for now, drool...

PSA

Was going to post as a comment for A, but thought I'd do a public service annoucement and tell all my readers about GrooveShark.

You can search for practically any song you want, and make a play list out of your favorites. This would be great for a party or weddings where your friends can request songs and all you have to do is add it to the playlist. No more djs! If you want to download a song they'll take you to itunes or something, but if you just want to listen some great tunes from your computer, you can do it for free! Hoorah!

So now you should all be able to check out Jason Mraz songs at your leisure. There's songs on there of his that I don't even have! Plus the acoustic versions too.

This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by me.

Need a punching bag.

That last post was just another exasperated comment directed at my apt manager. She gave me the cd of the surveillance footage tonight and said a bunch of things. One of which i think i caught was "we had to reset it" meaning everything was deleted, but they got the cd out. So I take it back to my apt and put it in the computer and guess what, it doesn't work. Big surprise.

I'll admit, I'm very annoyed. But I think I can't really do much now except just face the fact that I'll never get this footage, the detective is never going to call me back, I'll never get my stuff back. Would this be considered giving up? I don't want to be a quitter. Thing is, when do you fight for things and when do you know that it's time to move on? In this burglary and life in general? Thoughts people?

I need to focus on more positive things:

Things for the apartment are on the up and up.

Had a nice dinner with T tonight who I realized is another great gf to have. I know I said no more gfs, but I met her before the cutoff, so it's cool. I also made the mistake of visiting her new place, which was so huge it made my soon to be place look like a shed. That's ok though, it'll be what they call "cozy" and "quaint."

Also remembered to return my library book today, lucky for me the place we planned to meet was right across the street from the library. And A, I picked up the Antarctic book. I think I saw you on p. 85, in a tuxedo? Yea, thought so. Also picked up a few cookbooks. Y'know, for all that cooking I'm not going to do. The great thing about this library is that it's new, and so are most of the books. It's like shopping at the bookstore practically. The downside to this library...very small selection.

The place for dinner was better than I expected and we had great conversation and catch up time.

But the best part of everything is that I'm trying to wrangle myself into an interview with J. Macavoy tomorrow. The interview is for work, the me being there is for my pleasure. We've interviewed a few interesting people in the past but none as great as JM. I have many lovers. He is one of them. I just hope that Ben lets me come along, and that I don't embarrass him too much. I hope I can restrain myself around him. Hm...what does one wear to meet mr macavoy????

SERIOUSLY?????

This makes me happy.

No! Sleep! Til Brooklynnnnnnnn!

I've been laying in bed for an hour now and I still can't fall asleep.  Too many things to think sbout, including whether or not I should get out of bed for a snack since my stomach seems to be yelling for one.

I forgot to bring my library book to return at the library today.  Note to self to renew book again.  

Trying to divert my attention to productive thinking rather than useless thinking since I'm up.  Productive thinking like my goals for the new year.  S and I have to trade 5 things we want to accomplish this year with some sort of reward at the end of this year.  She's so on top of it, I've still yet to make my list.

When she took me out to dinner last week, this couple ended up sitting right next to us.  Very pretty young couple who had just gotten engaged.  It took me a while to register what he said, as I was lost deep inside his charming Russell Brand accent.  And then their giddiness for the rest of the night made me not so hungry anymore.  Seriously he called the waitress over to tell her how perfect the mashed potatoes were.  They were kissing every ten minutes.  And the two of them were just so so pretty and happy.  Her-blonde all american.  Him: blonde british lad with surfer dude tendencies.  I wanted to turn to them, flip over their table and say, Really?  Are you two for real?  They were for real alright.  Oh the days of being young and in love.

Ok see this is the useless type of thinking I shouldn't be doing.  But it is starting to make me sleepy...

    

Running out of thoughtful titles.

Tonight I came home to a police car on the corner with flashing lights on. And then my head turned to the other corner and I slowly read the word "CORONER" on a van. To which I unconsciously said outloud, "WTF!" And felt better about moving.

Speaking of which...the move is now more underway than it was when I last blogged. I gave my 30 day notice. I have an appointment to sign papers saturday. There is just one more issue of business to take care of which I hope I can get done before work tomorrow. Until then it is still an annoying lingering thought on my mind. But tonight I believe it is safe for me to pack just one box.

I hope S doesn't mind this part, but she is turning 30 in less than 2 weeks, and is having a most kick ass party ever. Blues band, DJ, awesome 50s dresses, donations to send kids in africa to school, singing, dancing. You can't beat that. I can't beat that. See, non competitive me. I'm now in search of a great 50s dress...hopefully authentic.

I always somehow seem to catch a few episodes of The Biggest Loser every season. I think I heard that it is the longest running reality show thus far. I don't say this about many reality shows (or any, for that matter) but it is actually a great show. It's so inspiring and lifting of the spirits. You see these people who are huge, who are so down on themselves lose double digit pounds every week and you really see them transform in front of your eyes. It makes me think that if they can do THAT, I can at least...I dunno, do a few days at the gym. If they can do THAT, they can do anything, and...and so can I. It's really an inspiring show. Except at the last finale, there were these two women that lost SOOOO much weight, that I didn't think they looked good anymore. They were both beautiful people even when they were big, and as they lost the weight they looked better and better. But when they came back for the finale...they did not look right. They looked sunken in, as though they OVER did it. They just didn't look like themselves anymore. The winner didn't look like his old self anymore, he looked great, he looked happy healthy and superfit. Anyway, just a good show.

Jersey Shore? That's a different story. I won't even touch that one.



Peas.

Commotion

It's in action.

I'm putting into action all the things I need to do to move. Have not signed anything yet but things are in motion. It's making me a nervous nelly. I don't know why. Maybe because I don't like change. It might be good change though. We'll see.

I'm pretty sure I'll get this place, the real question is whether I'll like it there or not. I'm downsizing a bit from the current place, though the rent didn't follow the downsize. Hopefully I can make it homey, though I have been told on several occasions that I'm missing a woman's touch. Sigh.

I rest my case!

Ok ok ok. This just in:

HS lauren just got back from paris where she lost her camera but gained...what else? An engagement ring!!!

Coworker dave just got back from his honeymoon in paris.

Apparently Paris and Hawaii around the holidays is where the magic happens.

I rest my case.

Da da da.

Jet blue wants me to celebrate 2010 by taking an exciting trip somewhere. I want to heed jet blue's orders but then realized that i may be spending a lot on moving expenses in the coming months. What a bummer. $100 to NYC!

Just read today that this restaurant called Comme Ca has these monday night chicken specials where you get a whole roasted chicken for 2 that can actually feed several people. You enjoy the chicken in the restaurant, and whatever you don't finish they pack up for you, along with a container of chopped carrots, onions, and celery, and a recipe for chicken stock to take home! What a great idea! I wish more restaurants did things like this. I'd love to know what kinds of dazzling meals I can make from my leftovers, wouldn't you?



Haven't played my violin in a while, I miss it. Maybe I'll break it out this weekend.

Had on an excellent outfit today to start off the week. Two pieces that I've never worn together and never really thought of wearing together until recently. And they fit so well together! I had to give myself a pat on the back. Forget the week, it was a great outfit to start off the year!

I'm currently staring at a penguin in a jar wishing me a merry christmas as I ponder on what other sorts of useless banterings to blog about. I do love penguins. Just not the penguin movie for some reason. Thanks S!

Other S and hubs hugged me the other day and said I smelled like me. Whew. Thank goodness I didn't just...smell. But that led me to wonder, what do I smell like? I certainly can't smell myself. Nor do I smell like roses or strawberries. The closest thing I can think of is the dove soap I use. I also didn't know I had a smell until the brit mentioned that I had one. I wonder if your own scent is something you can bottle up and spray on someone else. They can do wonders with scents these days. It's all so scientific.

Think I'm going to head to the library tomorrow during lunch. Anyone have any good book recommendations? Please send them my way before lunch time, thanks.

To move, or not to move?

Was suppose to be asleep hours ago but here I am, pondering if I should move or not.  Moving for me is such a big deal.  Saw a nice place with a good price today.  It's a bit smaller than I'd like, but it's a freestanding unit behind a house.  Which means no annoying neighbors.  Ugh, I can go on and on about the pros and cons of moving right now, but I won't bore you with such details (shall I?).  I just can't make up my mind.

Plus I've suddenly got this zit on the side of my nose and whenever I rub or scratch my nose, I'm reminded that I have a big zit on my nose.

The thing with living in la is that you have to take distances to things in consideration.  I was thinking how if I lived in NYC I wouldn't have this problem, I'd just hop on a subway.  Maybe someday.

Chatted w a friend of mine who is going with his gf to Paris in February.  How jaloux am I.  And they are going by themselves.  No friends.  You know what that means.  How much you want to bet that mr who comes back engaged.  Engaged!  Can you believe it S?  Ok ok, it's all assumption on my part for now.  But let me just wager a little, yea?

I can't help but feel behind.  This is what they were talking about.  All your friends start doing it and suddenly, it doesn't sound so bad anymore.  The house, the long term relationship, the engagements in France.  Caesar was telling me how great it is when you're singal.  "you party like crazy". Thing is, I'm not partying like crazy, I'm partying like doilies and tea parties.  Suddenly mr who is ahead of me and I can't help but feel behind.  

But I'm so happy for him, I truly am.  I'm actually quite proud of him, though I'm not sure I have the authority to feel so.  I feel like he's come such a long way since we've met.  That was such a long time ago.  

I wonder if eventually, everyone just succumbs to society and peer pressure.  That is, if the love thing doesn't come along and get in the way.  I wonder if I will?  Succumb to pressure that is.  Charlotte did, and look at her.  She's got her own sitting parlor where mr Collins will not bother her.  And she gets to dine with lady Catherine every once in a while.  And she was two years younger than I am. And...I don't know where I'm going with this.

So in conclusion, I need a vacation, stat.  Maybe it's time for my walkabout?            

New Year, New Banter.

Got back to the apt from another few days away. This time it was how I left it. I've been dreading putting my hand on the door all weekend, and I finally did it today and it was locked. And no one had broken in. And so a sigh of relief. Somewhat.

Made myself some brown rice porridge tonight, it tasted exactly how I wanted it to taste. It's not anything I can ever feed anyone with, it's pretty plain jane, but it is so comforting to me. Must be a childhood thing.

I'm about to write my rent check for the month of January. Ugh. I don't want to do it. I don't want to hand over any more money to that lady. But, here I go.

Last week I discovered that the LA Central library was closer to work than I had thought. Coworker B and I went to get food and I realized it was right across the street from these places that we go to get lunch, to my delight. OMG, did you know there are art galleries there? Could've spent hours there. They had an excellent music and dvd library as well. Guess who'll be going to the library more this year?

Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Could use another day or so cleaning the apartment. Doing new years stuff. Organizing, what not. But seeing how I'm so very lucky to still have a job to go to, off I will go.

Oh! Cupcakery across the street seems to have opened up over the weekend. Guess who'll be going there soon!

Welcome

Would like to welcome a new member to grace us with his blogsence. It'll be living amongst you, on the left hand side.

Wuthering Heights any good?

Just got home from my first night of babysitting...ever. It's amazing that I've never babysat alone, especially after all those Babysitters Club books during my tween years. Motherhood is tough. S, I don't know how you do it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it full time.

I want to create a drink and name it "Great Expectation". Not quite sure what ingredients it will have yet, but it will be fantastic. Maybe a little bit of something unexpected.

"She'll have a sex in the beach, I'll have a great expectation."

It would go something like that. Imagine the first sip, or better yet: the anticipation of the first sip of such a beverage.

Just saw a commercial for something called Hollywood cookie diet. Santa opened his robe and revealed his six pack. That's some diet. Would probably go great with a Great Expectation.

Speaking of Great Expectations...recently ran across these Penguin Classics designed by Coralie Bickford-Smith.



Aren't they gorgeous? Well they were when I saw them at the book store. Cloth covered designs. They felt so good in my hands. And make me so excited. I know they're geared towards females just like me, and, I'm falling for their ploys,dammit. Unfortunately though, the one that I really want to get, the one that most girls like me would want to get, the most popular title (in my opinion) does not have the most beautiful cover.



Right? I mean it's alright. But I sort of wished it had the Jane Eyre cover or Wuthering Heights...but nevertheless...I will probably buy this book just for the cover, because I really need my own copy so I can read it over and over. And I will love it...you guessed it...I will love it most ardently.

I think Sense and Sensibility is the prittiest of them all, and after that, Jane Eyre, but I didn't find those books worth rereading year after year.





So I might just get Wuthering Heights because I think it is the next most pritty of them all, and have never read it yet.



Anyone able to give me a review on Wuthering Heights and whether it is worth multiple reads?

Remnants.

Just got to my parents house.  Had a bit of a meltdown in the car thinking about it all.  I've been doing pretty good all week trying not to think about it too much but it finally caught up with me on the drive back.  

I'm afraid to leave my apartment.  Because leaving means I'll have to come back eventually and put my hand on the door knob that might be unlocked again.  I'll have to go through that same sense of panick I felt for that brief moment when you realize something is very wrong.  Constantly wondering if I've locked the door throughout the day even though I double checked it.  Preparing myself to come home to another mess.

Today I walked around the neighborhood and unconsciosly checked out every biker that passed me.  Wondering if I'd see some stranger riding my bike.  Wondering how I'd karate chop them after pushing them off my bike.  And then demanding to know where my drives are with my foot on their chest.

Ohhhh my drives.  That's the worst.  Driving back I started thinking about all my projects I don't have anymore.  I've really been putting this off, not wanting to really figure out what i have and dont have and can get back from others.  Music videos, very personal slide shows of fond memories, client projects that they may ask for someday.  My life's work.  Gone...gone. Nothing to show for what I've done all these years.  Thinking about it all makes me nauseous.  And a little hard to breathe.  And then really sad.  And my stomach hurts.

B says my work is not who I am.  While he's kind of right...it does show what I'm capable of.  All those late nights...all the blood sweat and tears.  It'll all be in the trash soon, if not already.

Ugh sorry this is such a downer.

Right now on the tv they're showing all the different ways people are celebrating new year's eve around the world.  Wherever you are tonight, I hope you're safe.  

Don't forget to lock up before going out.

Caesar

Just spent some time chatting with Caesar, the guy who changed my locks. He seems to be going through a rough time in his marriage. Actually sounds like as soon as the kids move out the marriage will be over. Which is kind of sad. What do you do when the other person doesn't trust or want to work on things? Abandon ship? Or keep trying and trying. He had some great stories though, one of which was the night he almost died.

The night Caesar almost died:
He went to visit a friend down in the bad area. This was 20 years ago when things in LA weren't as cleaned up as they are now. As he's going into his friend's apt, two big guys ask for his money. They said if you're coming into the barrio we have to take your money. Caesar said if you want it you'll have to take it off me. That's when one of them attacked, and he punched him back. Caesar goes up to his friend's apt. 20 min later, 40 guys show up, with guns and all. The friend that Caesar was visiting was friends with the leader of the gang. The leader was about to storm the apartment, break down the door. But Caesar came out before that happened. The man Caesar punched accused him of attacking with a knife, but Caesar had no knife and tried to convey that to the leader but the leader wouldn't believe him. So Caesar said, I'll show you how I did it, and the leader said ok. So the gang of 40 circled around Caesar, and they pushed the guy that Caesar punched into the circle as well. Caesar showed everyone how he punched the guy in the first place.....by punching the guy again. After seeing this, the leader shunned the guy, calling him a chicken. The gang then proceeded to buy 3 cases of bud light to share and party with Caesar, who was now free to come and go at his friend's place.

The end.

I wish I had a little animation to go with that.

I probably got way too personal with him, but he seemed like he wanted to talk, so heck. He seemed like a good guy.

Blargh.

Too tired for a bitch and moan sesh tonight. There's been enough bitching and moaning, am I right folks? Am I right?

But still...can't help wonder if all these events and incidents that keep happening are suppose to mean something. Am I suppose to extract some sort of lesson from it all? Is the universe trying to tell me something? I don't want to play the victim here but, really world, really?

Maybe this is the universe's way of fighting with me. Like play fighting, not arguing. I'm always talking about wanting to fight someone. But look, I meant that physically, not like...universally.

Or maybe it's a right of passage. After all, I never got a bah mitzvah or quinceanera or a debutant ball. I've yet to go on my walk about.

Or it could all just be a great big coincidence.

Ok ok ok, i'm bitching again.

Enough. Enough now.

I'm hungry.

...

Ok I realize no one needs minute by minute details but it's the only way to get my frustrations out.  She gave me exactly an hour and then said she had to put her kids to bed and that she would call me after that to let me know if the cd copying was working or not.  Guess what, that was an hour and a half ago.  Of course I'm not going to call her at 1:30am right now.  But if you say you're going to call and know that I've been eagerly waiting and have had an uncomfortable conversation with you already, why would you not call?  I bet she'll say she forgot or fell asleep.  She's not the only one busy, I have to work in the morning too, but I just wasted 2.5 hrs and still haven't gotten what I wanted.  Oy vey.  Really, too much to ask?  Am I just complaining? 

ARG

I am so frustrated, and getting my stuff taken is the least of my frustrations right now.

My building manager just made me cry. Luckily not while I was on the phone with her, but I hung up and was so frustrated with her that I admit, I cried.

We have security cameras in the building. They're in the office downstairs. But she's telling me that she won't be able to get to them until the 4th when she gets back from vacation. She is physically here until tomorrow afternoon, like down the hall from me. But she has "alot of other things to do and has already taken these days off." And if she looks at them at night, it's after her work hours, and she won't get any sleep having to go through all those tapes. I mentioned calling the property owners. She said she can't give me their number (unfortunately I don't have it in my lease, i can't find it on the internet anywhere) and all they would say is for me to call her. She said the detectives will understand. Have them call me, she said. I told her I would go through the tapes myself, but she says I'm not allowed in the office, no one is. I was so frustrated with her, she was not willing to help me out in any way...not until she gets back on the 4th. She kept asking me if I understood. Of course, but I asked her, if she was in my situation and her apt was burgled, wouldn't she want to get to those tapes as soon as possible? At the end I told her to please call me when she gets back. To which she replied, "don't worry, i'm not staying there, I'll be back." Do you understand what I mean? She is so.......not there. Of course I'm not worried that she's not coming back, I was just telling her to call me.

Great, so now she just called back to tell me that she talked to the property owners and even though they said she is still free to do it on her own time, that both she and I will have a better new year holiday if she does it before she leaves. Agreed. So we are meeting up tonight to go through tapes. But right now I don't really want to see her or have to talk to her at all. And will have to thank her and be gracious later for having her take time from her sleeping hours to go through tapes.

The finger print man just got here, must go now.

Waiting to Exhale.

But not as sexily as Whitney Houston. More like an upside down Juno.

So finger print man came and went. Nice old chap with a very friendly face. He was able to get a few fingerprints, though the situation doesn't look too good. He didn't seem too excited over any one print. More like...after the door (point of entry) didn't produce much evidence, he seemed like he was just taking prints to make me feel satisfied. Not to say he did a bad job, but I just got the feeling that at one point, he was just going through a process, letting me see he was really working so I feel better. Which is fine, I mean, it is my tax dollars going to work, what's a few more prints that might turn into something. I zoned out, thinking about how it's part of this guy's job to go through something he probably sees as pointless just to show someone he was doing his job. And how many more jobs like this there are out there. Not to say he won't come in handy in a real crime scene. I'm sure they're great at those. But in a small burglary? As he was finishing up, he said, "we'll take this back and try and catch this guy." Which, I thought was sweet of him to say since I think we both knew that most likely they won't.
Also, he smelled very nice.

I've since mopped the floors to get rid of all the powder but there's still powder around to clean up. Who knew this stuff was so hard to clean? I'm so very tired but still waiting for the manager to call so that we can go through tapes. Back to cleaning I guess.
It's going to be a long night.

**********************************

Just got back from an hour of tape watching with the manager. Gonna cut this story short in case this is ever googled. I don't want to go on and on about what I really think of everything since she gave me an hour, and I know she's genuinely trying to help, so I recognize that and appreciate greatly. But we're not done. Not even close. But at the end of the hour she realized that she could just copy everything and burn it on a cd. Which is what I'm waiting on now while she puts her kids to bed. I just hope it works.

Also, after fingerprint man left, I went to my neighbors to inform them to be careful. First up was Ms Running All Day Long. Who actually opened the door this time. I knew she had just got back from work so she was still milling about, probably putting groceries away or something. She seemed happy to see me. Like, Oh, hello! Instead of, Oh, You. And when I told her what happened the first thing she asked was if I was ok. Which I thought was totally sweet of her. And as I'm standing at her doorway telling her about what happened and how to use a swiffer pole as a door jam, I'm thinking, it's really a shame that I can't stand her running, because she seems like a really sweet person and we might get along as good neighbors if it weren't for the running and me moving out soon. She was grateful that I notified her and I was happy to be of service. And her place looked nice.

Next up was Mr. Accordian player on the other side. I hear his accordion playing from time to time when I pass by his door. I think it's kind of nice really, and I've never heard it from inside my apartment. He practices the accordion more than I do my violin. Tisk tisk. It's just his loud bassy mexican music early in the mornings I can't stand. It's one thing if I actually heard the music. But all I hear is a rhythmic bass beat, which is so annoying when you're trying to sleep. I've already gone over to him one morning to tell him to turn it down in the nicest way possible, but after that I didn't think he was a fan of me, and the music seems to have started back up lately. So I wasn't surprised that when I knocked on the door the first time, he didn't come to the door. He just softened his accordion playing. So I rang the door bell. He took a really long time to get to the door but he did finally come. Once I told him what had happened he softened up and was engaging in conversation and was also glad I informed him. He had a nice smile.

Time to moooooooove.

Bigger sigh.

I miss my bike already.

I'm afraid to do more looking around because I'm afraid I'll realize that more stuff is missing.

It's just all my work....I think I can get some of it back here and there but still...all of my work...

I think the shock has subsided and now sadness is moving in.  Also anger.  Fern offered to let me stay at his place for the night but part of me is just too too tired and the other part of me just doesn't want the burgler to win.  I don't want to give him the satisfaction of scaring me out of my own place.  Even though I am just s touch concerned because what if he left the door unlocked so that he could come back and get the rest of the stuff he missed, like my computer!  He wouldve just walked in and out the front door as though he was invited.

I'm so tired.  I'm oddly calm but I'm also afraid once I sleep on it I'll realize what's happened in the morning.  And also I'll have to deal with the untouchable mess outside my bedroom.  Who knows when the fingerprinters will show up.

I'm done with you 2009.  Done.

Sigh.

This has got to be one of the worst weeks ever.  

Here I am, blogging from my phone, waiting for the police to come.  It's been an hour and I've been told not to touch anything so I'm sitting on the floor, afraid to touch anything to see if anything else has been taken.  

They took all my portable hard drives.  All my work and the backup were on those.  And my expensive camera.  At least they left my computer.  They even went into my closet.  

I came home and found it odd that I didn't lock the deadbolt.  And then panicked when I thought I left the door unlocked as well.  I walked in and everything seemed fine.  Then I noticed the sliding door wide open.  It actually took me a while to figure out what happened.
Drives and camera I'll never get back, fine, whatever.  But all of my work?  Even the backups of my work.  And why aren't the police here yet they're only down the street.  I couldve walked there and back by now.  

It's just stuff, I know.  I still have my puter and my violin, thank goodness.  At least I think it's still there, I'm looking at the case right now but I'm afraid to pick it up to find it unusually light.
  
Now that he knows I have all this stuff now how do I know he won't come back for the rest?

I went to report it to the manager and her husband seemed to have no clue what to do.  She said she'd be back soon but she's not here, the cops aren't here.  

I just wanted to go to bed when I got home, not deal with this.

Let's play the at least game:
At least I still have my computer and violin
At least I wasn't here sleeping when he came (although that is still a possibility)
At least I have a roof over my head and I can go to bed tonight and start new tomorrow.
At least my car was only towed and not stolen.
At least I wasn't arrested
At least I can afford to move elsewhere
At least I still have a job to go to
At least I'm alive.

Let's end this with a funny story since the cops still aren't here yet.  So B had given me one of his hard drives to copy some stuff onto a few days ago.  He gave it to me in a large bag from the Pleasure Chest as a joke.  The drive Is now gone but they left the bag.  Shit I just realized they took my bike too.  This story isn't so funny anymore.

Goolingers

Seems like this was the year for confrontations.  Annoying next door neighbor, restaurants supposedly tipping themselves, arguments with a close friend about wrong doings...and yesterday, man who tried to cut in line.  

MWTTCIL was a big guy with a beard and long hair, kind of biker intimidating just by sheer looks alone.  There was probably three of me in him.   

So I see mwttcil talk to the group in front of us in line and thought maybe his group of three was with them. But then the man in front of us pointed to the back of the line and that's when I realized the three were not with them.  And they were not moving to the back, they just kind of lingered by us.

The thing that annoys me most was the sense of entitlement.  It doesn't matter that others had to come early to wait in line, they did not have to follow the rules.  There was just no consideration for others around them.

So when mwttcil turned to my brother and said with a chuckle, "you don't mind do you?" and my brother looked like he wasn't going to say anything, that really set me off.  Um you don't mind getting your ass to the back of the line do you?

That's when I told mr mwttcil, "actually, the line's back there."

I don't think he was expecting an answer for his rhetorical question.  He was just assuming we'd be fine with it.  Which, the idea of that pissed me off even more.
 
He then tried to get all slick and nicey nicey with me and said, "look you have your tickets already right?"
To which I answered, "yes, and the line is back there."
(The show was sold out and i was trying to cut down whatever excuse he was going to have.)  To which he said "well if you have your tickets and I have my tickets, we're all going to get in anyways right?" and then something about there's no need to be like that.  I rolled my eyes and told him again where the line was.  His group then somehow slithered behind us or we blocked him from trying to get in front of us or something, because he ended up behind us.  I still wanted him all the way to the back of the line but if the group behind us didn't care or weren't paying enough attention, then oh well for them.  Would this be considered chickening out and not following through?  

What I should've said to mr. mwttcil was, "if we're all going to get in anyway like you say, then you should have no problem going to the BACK of the line". That's what I should've said.

It would've been fun to fight him, I was ready.  More fun physically than verbally though a verbal fight is probably as far as it would have gotten.  I pictured myself jumping on his back and pulling his hair, like that scene in Princess Bride where Wesley jumps on Andre the giant's back.  A girl can dream.

But it didn't feel like it was worth it at the time to take it any further.  As long as he didn't cut in front of us then that's as far as I'll go.  I guess this is what they mean by pick and choose your battles, and lately I've been picking them all it feels like.  Even the battle with the friend that I probably should've just let go...but I just couldn't.
Looking back now, was it worth it?  If I didn't say anything I knew it would just eat away at me.  So maybe it was worth the strained relationship, who knows.

I might have one more battle to fight before the year's over:

Got my car towed last night and cost me $300 big ones.  Part of that was a $45 lockout fee, which they even admitted twice was for them to "break in" to put the emergency brakes down.  I never asked to have my car towed and I surely never asked to have my car broken into so that they can tow my car!!!!  Is that even legal?  If they can't tow my car due to their inability to tow said car without breaking in, isn't that just too bad for them?  Why am I paying a fee for them to 1)break into my car so that they can 2)charge me more to tow away my car?  Why?  Because they needed something to add up to $300 that's why.  It even looks like they changed the tow fee from $140 to  $160!!  Why?  To make all the fees add up to an even $300 thats why.  The 160 written down was clearly not the first number written down on the receipt.  Don't know if that one is worth fighting for though.  He could just say his hand slipped while writing.

So while I put my google fingers to work, if any one knows about the legality of breaking into a car to be towed, or know any lawyers that would know, please send it my way.  

If I could jump on the towing company's back while pulling their hair, I would.  But for now I've only got my google fingers.  Which I will now coin: "goolingers".

Square One

When I was younger I remember thinking that I would die at a young age.  Early 20s I was predicting, whether from sickness or some freak accident.  I don't know if that was just a thing you have as a kid, where you can't see far enough in the future so you just assumed death was looming around the corner, or if it was one of those sixth sense feelings I have every now and again that just never came to fruition.

In any case, I seem to have bypassed  that phase of my life and am now well into...well nearly 30, not in the greatest shape of my life but physically healthy for the most part.

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that I've made it this far.  Not that I worried too much about death when I was younger, I just figured if it happened it happened and if it didn't well it didn't.  But I guess I could've reassured my younger self about where I am now so that I could see further into the future.

Von asked me the other day where I see myself in five years and I panicked for a brief second because I didn't know and i still don't know.  

But one thing I realized today was that I don't see myself dead anymore when I think about my future.  I still can't quite picture or imagine my future but that dying young feeling has passed.  Which is good I guess.

But I still can't see myself 5 years from now.  Can you?  Even if you can't see yourself 5 years from now at least you have a pretty good idea about where you'd like to be in your life, right?  I don't think I can even say that.  

I need to do some thinking about this.  

As chris martin says:
The future's for discovering 
the space in which we're traveling.

Full speed ahead mr. zulu.    

What ho!

Been having lunches with italiano coworker F and we always learn so much from each other!

He was talking about being sick and not really knowing the protocol here with insurance and what not, and was surprised when the doctor's office told him to go into the office to see the doc. He brought up a good point: how do I get myself to the doctor's office when I can barely get out of bed? Makes sense right? So C and I asked how it's done in italy. Because we were really thinking, how else are you suppose to do it? That's just how it's done! He nonchalantly says that the doctor comes to your home. "HE DOES WHAT??" was our response. We were floored. But it totally makes sense! If you're sick and ailing why would you want to leave the house to pay for some guy to tell you to stay in bed?

And yea, I guess doctors DO make house calls here but the only ones I've ever seen are the ones on Private Practice on thursday nights. And they look expennnnnnsive. I mean come on, they have houses on the beach! But I guess if you want any doctor to make house calls, you want the good looking ones. Am I right? Am I right? Up top!

Also we got into a discussion of americans using the word "like" too freely and casually. It was interesting to see this very recently transplanted italiano use the word as much as we do. After a little research, we all learned that it stems from the beat culture in the 50s.

Also, there is a celebrated holiday in existence called, Epiphany.

I love europeans.

Which makes me think, I need to get out more. I need to be exposed to more odd holidays and language differences, foods and well...pretty much everything and anything.

2010 is the year to do so. It shall be done.

Go forth.

Happy Winter Solstice

Thank goodness today is the shortest day of the year. I'm looking to longer days ahead.

Not much to blog about lately. Mostly in a blog jam.

The opera went great. We had awesome seats, center orchestra. When it started I almost cried. It was all so exciting: great seats, the orchestra sounded fantastic, the costumes, the dancers. But then I lost the enthusiasm two hours in when act 1 finally ended and intermission was about to start. Boy people in the olden times were full of DRAMA...mmm...girrrrlfriend! Not only were they full of silly drama, they were full of repetitive silly drama. The whole thing was in italian, with subtitles at the very top on a screen. My brother was asking if their subtitles were done badly because it didn't subtitle a lot of lines and he felt like he missed stuff. Um...NOPE! I told him that the lines he didn't see subtitled on screen were the lines that they were repeating...and repeating as a duet, and repeating as a trio, and repeating as the whole chorus, and repeating again. I thought the direction was pretty good, as there were cool collapsable chair props, and lots of funny interpretations, and the actors even made fun of their own drama they were acting out. I love when things are self aware like that. Good job opera director. It was rather long, which was the only downside. I knew this would be the case, but I guess I forgot. There wasn't one in this particular opera, but from prior opera experiences, I feel like its all worth it in the end for that one really beautiful aria. Anyway, blah blah blopera.

Been sitting here now just looking around my apartment...thinking of something to write. But nothing comes to mind........nothing.

Post Party

So i didn't go with the ball gown, but went with the little black dress. It was dark inside anyways so no one really can see what's wearing who. I really debated hard core on whether to change at work or not. I brought stuff to change into, but then towards the end of the day decided maybe I shouldn't. On top of that, coworker C was sick at home today AND was not going to the party, so I had no one making me get dressed up. Not that I needed someone to make me, but there would've been no back and forth if C had been there. Finally I realized that I was wearing my holy jeans today and my change of clothes probably would look better than holy jeans. Although i do love my holy jeans. Anyway, I'm happy with the decision I made.

These past 2 weeks I've been throwing hissy fits and temper tantrums in my head. Like i try to visualize how i would physically have a temper tantrum if i had the freedom of a kid. With the arms flailing and legs kicking and all. And then the lying with my back on the ground stomping with my legs and pounding with my fists kind. I never did this as a kid of course, but it sure feels good to visualize about doing it as a grown adult. Y'all should try it. I'm sure it would've felt better if I had actually recreated my visualizations in the office. Let it all out for everyone to see. That would be very cathartic i'd imagine.

Instead I end up copping mini-attitudes to coworker B, who doesn't deserve it at all. Although tonight he said he was feeling the same way, and that I haven't been, so I don't feel so bad.

Not sure what's causing my moodiness. Mostly work I assume sprinkled with personal issues and maybe a dash of PMS? Maybe. I hate blaming everything on PMS though. They have feelings too. (Though usually the ugly kind.) But maybe I just need to do some hard workouts and get some stress and annoyance and anger out, because being sedentary for most of the day 5 days a week does nothing for stress relief.

I'm just saying.

Story of my life.

Just had a conversation with my sister discussing what to wear to the xmas party...and HOW to wear it. I suggested something and described it to her, to which she replied, "no way, don't do that, that'll be too granny looking."

Sigh.

It's starting again!

Rainy days in souther california are the best! It's so nice to fall asleep and wake up to the sound of rain. (Oh, yea except for the last two days when i've woken up to rhythmic thumping first, and THEN noticed the sound of rain being drowned out by the rhythmic thumping...she's at it again!!)

It's suppose to end tomorrow I think, but I wish it wouldn't. Rain IS our christmas here.

Note to self: return books by the 16th!

Had a chat with bff S earlier about me not having an accent really for someone who wasn't born in this country. It's because i learned the language at a young age, i guess. That made me wonder...since I learned english from My Little Ponies and Potato Head Kids and Gem...I wonder if I talk like them? That would be funny. Maybe I do have a great accent I've been after all along! The pony accent. I mean the idea is funny but it's kind of true. After the thanksgiving break, I found myself talking with a slight accent that I think I picked up from having spent so much time with my sister and her husband. But now it's gone. I wonder if I lived in France long enough that I can pick up a French accent. People make fun of madonna for her accent, but maybe you just pick it up naturally. I'd love to have an irish accent too...to go with me lucky charms. That'd be sweeeet.

Our office holiday party is Monday night, which is just the worst day to have a holiday party. Especially since we'll be busy with the year end show. The question is though...dress up to work, or don't bother? It'd be one thing if it was a weekend or a friday night...and if everyone had to go home first. But the venue is so close to work that I'm sure everyone will just go straight from work. I guess we're lucky that we're even having an offsite party. Most people these days don't even have a job to go to.

The rain is coming down pretty hard now. Time to hop in bed and enjoy before there's none left!

I feel like beige tastes.

It's too late to be blogging, but here I am.

My attempt each night to go to bed early ever since we moved has been weaker and weaker. Somehow I always find myself up PAST the time I actually should be asleep. But, c'est la vie.

The rain is finally here! I was waiting and waiting for it all day and right when I wasn't expecting it, it came. As with most things in life, I suppose. Similar to the movie I saw tonight with S...when he least expected it, plop! He went!

Nothing much to report really. I had this online fight today with a friend of mine. More like a disagreement between two opposing view points, but still, it got pretty heated and left me in such an off track state of mind. I just felt really bummed and defeated afterwards. Yes, I realize that one should never have major disagreement conversations online, but, I guess it couldn't be helped. Maybe I should've just left it alone and not rock the boat. But I didn't leave it alone, and the boat was rocked. And was it worth it? I don't know. I feel like at least I got to say some of what I wanted. But I sure don't feel better about us, I feel like there's still tension in the air. This might be boring to read now, but I hope that I can read back on this at a future date and say to myself, "wow, glad we're not still there. glad we have moved on from that awkwardness."

I'm taking my fam to the opera next week. I was surprised that my bro was on board, but I guess one should never turn down new experiences if one can help it. I think I got some pretty good seats too. The man on the phone though....he probably should not be selling tickets for the opera. (Wow, was there an earthquake just now?) Anyway, this man sounded so SOOO incredibly bored and monotone with me on the phone. It's like he was TRYING to be an opera stereotype. Really mr phone man? Really? But, I did call right when the box office opened so maybe he didn't have his coffee yet. So next week, Il Barbiere di Seviglia, center orchestra I think? Should be good.

Also, went back to the corner coffee shop this morning. Once again, Ramon made my latte. I couldn't tell if he recognized me from not tipping, from his manager telling my story, or not at all. I just really couldn't tell. But I tipped him anyways, and decided that it is really just too expensive of a latte for me to go back. Besides, we have milk at the office now. So next time I see Ramon will probably be across the street from the fancy cupcakery. Maybe they'll even have coffee there to go with my morning cupcake. I will drink to Ramon from across the street. Cin cin!

Run run reindeer...

Today was a weird day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I was just cranky and annoyed. And then little things here and there throughout the day made me MORE cranky and annoyed and frustrated. I was about to blow a gasket. (Or probably just break down crying in the bathroom. Over nothing. But I went home before that had a chance of happening.) Even coworker D looked worried when I told him I was going home for the day.

Maybe that's the problem. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I looked outside a window and saw the sunset over the LA skyline and that made me really sad for some reason. It was really pretty though.

Tonight i looked on craigslist for housing swaps in different cities for the holidays...no luck. I think my place would be ideal for someone from out of town based on the location it's in. Plus every day the cupcakery looks like it's going to open sooner and sooner. If i were me and looking to visit LA i'd think i hit the jack pot staying in my place. Too bad I actually live here, and am not a tourist.

If only I can find another me on the internet...on craigslist no less! How would you ever trust someone on craigslist? What if i showed up in Paris only to find that the place didn't really exist, and I just gave up my keys to complete strangers who are partying in my apt while I'm stranded on the street? But more importantly, the idea of complete strangers staying at my place would be kind of weird. I'd worry about them going through my stuff, spilling beer on my couch. My beloved couch. But I see all these amazing places on craigslist that people are trying to swap out, and their furniture is 10x nicer than mine! How do they do it??

And yes, S, I even looked up the Holidate casting page...I'd be willing to go on TV if they can take me somewhere nice. But the application looked too vague...I only have this one week window that I'd be willing to go on TV for, and i'm sure they tape that months in advance.

The search continues I guess. I'm thinking it's a little too late to go out of the country, as I would probably need to apply for visas and whatnot. Suggestions anyone? Where's the coolest city you've been to?

And now, I leave you this:

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH

I'm filled with annoyance and rage today. I just want to throw a tantrum right here in the middle of the office. I want to throw things and shout. I can't stand people today. I just want to leave.

And go far far away.

Mr Murch

Being a bit antisocial for lunch today, decided to sit at my desk. And then I got to watching this, the first 15 min are fascinating, but watch the rest if you have time.

Ugh, why is this so hard?

I need 200-4000 characters to express myself and tell people who I am. Been putting this off for weeks. Months even. Every time I come back to it I end up stalling, like now. I can write a whole entire post about how much I can't write about myself instead of writing about myself. And S, I know you've offered your services and I totally appreciate it but somehow I feel like that is cheating and false advertising somehow? Like people would not be happy if they found out. Like I should do this on my own somehow. But yet...I just can't find the words to start. I'm reminded of 6th grade when Mr. Fredstrom taught us how to write essays. He said to start with an "attention grabber." BOOBS. That's an attention grabber. But that is more visual and I need words. At least 200. This is like in college when I should've been writing my stupid essays but instead came here to blog and waste time. Except now, no one's grading my essays except me. Actually, YOU, my audience.

Ok, how about this. You guys start the first sentence for me. Y'know, like that game, where you start the first sentence of a story about SH, and she finishes it. It's a really fun game, I promise. But um...email it to me. This is embarrassing enough as it is.

Uh oh beef recall. I made some meat sauce yesterday. I hope what I used wasn't the recalled kind.

Today was a lovely day of rain, cold, and rainbows. Looking forward to the rest of this rainy week. Hope everyone stays dry and warm!