I slammed my boyfriend's head.

This morning, I slammed open the door of the building, eagerly awaiting the warm sunshine to hit me, only to hit something...hard. When I looked down I saw a pair of legs. I turned around to see my boyfriend, lying on the building steps, his upper body behind the door. He mumbled something after I said, "oh, sorry!"

I was really not expecting him to be there.

There's this homeless guy that stands by the garage door below my bedroom window EVERYDAY. I see him every morning at work when I go upstairs to get my coffee. Sometimes I think he sees me too. Coworker Dan has taken to calling him my boyfriend. "Hey your boyfriend's out there waiting for you."

Well today I slammed his head. I think it's safe to say it's over.

Do you guys drink Yakult? In taiwan, it's a kids drink, kinda like box juice, and I grew up drinking it like candy. It was a special treat. Like chocolate milk. To my surprise, it started being sold as some sort of healthy probiotic stomach regulator drink a few years ago in the states. I laughed. But man, they are the ones laughing now. This weekend I was in the grocery store, and I saw the package of yakult and suddenly had a craving. I went to pick it up only to see the price of 3.99, and then withdrew the hand. 3.99 for a package of like...6! Are you kidding me? Do you know how tiny they are? At the asian grocery stores you can get like 8 for .99. Something ridiculous like that. It's sad that my childhood treat has been hijacked.

So just a heads up, don't get it at the regular grocery stores if you're ever having a craving. Find it at your local asian grocer.
And...you're welcome.

OMG

This is probably old and fairly general knowledge, but did you know Alan Greenspan was somewhat a student of Ayn Rand's?? He was in her collective and everything. Crazy! But probably not that crazy. I need to wiki this relationship of theirs. But heard it on the radio today and couldn't even believe there was a connection.

In other news, I think I might have a cavity. Balls.

Ho Hum

I love Ewan McG. Even though he can't do an american accent, he is still so sexy to me. In fact it kind of makes him cuter. Maybe I watched too many Long Way Down episodes. Maybe I'm always getting him confused with Peter Saaaaaaarsgard and Jude Law. Who knows. But he was damn sexy in Moulin Rouge. And a bunch of other things. I bet his kids are super cute.

There is a new library opening up in a month! I can't wait to walk through it. I wonder if the books will be new in a new library, or if there will be used books from other libraries in the LAPL system. I'm sure it'll be a mixture of both...though I'm secretly hoping the books will be on the newer side. Sure old books and used books give libraries their flavor. But man, are they dirty. Or, I assume they are. I don't want to find out by conducting my own black light research. I've taken to wiping down all my library books when I get them home with some clorox wipes. I don't want any type of dirt or germs sitting in bed with me when I read myself to sleep. But even with the wiping down they still feel dirty...maybe I just need to do a double wipe.

I know this all sounds very bougie, and very against romantic library ideals. But i can't help it, i don't like dirty.

I also hope this new library will have a good and large selection. The ones by my place are a bit scant. And I don't want to haul my ass down to the main downtown library to find what I want. Though, i probably should go again soon.

And, as if you weren't already sick of everyone else saying it today: What's with the winds?? Our power went out 3 times at work, and I gave up trying to restart my computer after the 3rd time. Let's just hope autosave is my friend in the morning. Hopefully this windy episode will alert my landlord to cut down the trees in front of my window soon. Crossing fingers...

Oh my f**ing....

This day has long been coming. I can't believe i even did it, usually i would have chickened out. But i gathered up all my courage tonight to knock on my neighbor's door.

She is so loud in the mornings! She does these workouts (kathy smith i believe, cuz i can hear it) and i can hear all this rhythmic thumping through my closed bedroom door!! So that starts at 5:45am, (8am on saturdays) for about an hour, and then she gives me some quiet while i just lie awake in my bed, unable to go back to sleep. And then! And then just when i finally fall back to sleep again, it continues at 8am where she runs in circles in her apartment, yes, INSIDE her apartment with what sounds like flip flops, so that every morning i hear this constant flapping noise through the walls. She'll do a few laps in her apt before going out into the halls, up the CONCRETE stairs, across the upstairs halls, and back in before SLAMMING her door to go to work. Every morning. Flip flops. Flap flap flap flap flap x every morning x 30min= a very annoyed me. And her loud tv too. Ugh, so annoying.

So finally i had enough this morning. Actually, saturday morning. I got dressed to go talk to her, but then figured she probably wouldn't want to be seen all sweaty and whatnot. I've ran into her in the hallways before when she's throwing out her trash and she has all this stuff all over her face. Fair enough. No woman wants to be seen a mess. So i tried to go back to sleep. But this morning...oh it was just pissing me off. To the point that i vowed to talk to her tonight after work. When she was dressed and not sweaty and presentable. So i did. Or tried.

First i paced around my apartment. Then finally i made myself go over, during what was the 2nd commercial of a commercial break of whatever show she was watching (because, yes, i can hear her commercials through my walls) so that I'm not interrupting her show. I knocked two times on her door, waiting for a long time in between knocks. I can hear through her LOUD tv what sounded like her getting dressed? So ok, i give her some time. But after a while it was obvious she was not going to answer the door, and i felt like an idiot standing in front of her door. So i wrote a note. Tried to word it so that it didn't sound rude (which was what i was trying to avoid by talking to her face to face). Knocked again, waited again, and taped the note to her door.

And now i'm blogging because i have all this nervous energy from talking myself into this ordeal. But this girl runs EVERYWHERE!

She runs to her door when she comes home from work. She runs a few laps in the apt after running to the door when she comes home from work. She runs down to the laundry room. She runs laps in the laundry room. She runs the perimeter of the garage instead of the straight shot to the laundry room. She runs to the garbage shoot. She runs EVERYWHERE! I applaud her for wanting to stay in shape, but not at the cost of my sanity! Plus running in flip flops can't be good for her feet! Why not just put some running shoes on? At least those won't be so loud.

So, i just heard her throw her trash out, and take the note off her door. I kid you not, i can hear these things. Thin walls, loud movements. Let's see if she leaves me alone in the morning.

Need some opinions. Am I asking too much in wanting peace and quiet? Or is she just crazy!! I wonder if she heard me knocking and saw me at the door with the peephole and decided to ignore me. What if i needed medical aid? A cup of sugar? I'm always friendly when i see her. I always say hi. This is the first time since she's moved in that i've tried to say anything. Why did she ignore me???? What do i do next time i run into her? Be friendly of course, but ask about the note? Pretend it never happened?

Oh yea, also i signed it as "your neighbor" instead of my name, cuz i figured maybe i can keep it vague enough for her to think its her OTHER next door neighbor, to keep her guessing and keep it down. But now when i run into her it'll be awkward....oh what an awkward situation....


NEED YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE!

Today

Today, I woke up and could barely walk from my bed. Rewind: Monday I decided to do a Jillian Michaels workout video, and felt great afterwards. Yesterday I felt fine. Today though. TODAY. Sometime during the night my muscles decided to flip out on me and go bezerk and make me look like I have a stick stuck up my ass when I'm walking. It's the calves and the quads....oh...they burn.

This always happens to me. I exercise once; one video, one mile, one hip hop class, one climb. And then I'm hurting for the rest of the week. I know i probably need to work up to these sudden intensities, but I can't tell how intense I'm going until it's too late and I'm hurting a few days later. And then this throws my schedule off, and I'm out the whole week. I wish I could ask Jillian how to do this correctly and not hurt and keep going several times a week. I just want to be strong. I want arms that can punch you in the face if I have to. I want my legs to be calm and quiet after a day of sitting in a chair rather than buzzing and itching for me to take them out on a run. I want to be able to kick you in the nuts and run 5 miles away when you surprise attack me from behind. Suggestions on a good way to get into an exercise routine anyone? (And yes I warmed up.)

This pain won't fare well for Salsa class tomorrow. I may have to skip. The best thing last week was that the female instructor didn't remember me (likely), but the male one did! (surprising) We had a nice little chat while he whirled me around, like we were having coffee and scones to pass the time, instead of busting a move and working up a sweat. Because I am THAT good when I salsa with him. Sigh, too bad I might miss out tomorrow. I even practiced my hand moves, of the Sexy Hand Moves.

Not like the footsteps themselves aren't hard enough, but then they throw in these flourishes for the female arms. If you didn't know already, I have awkward arms. That's why I love pockets, they're practically a must have when I make a dress purchase. They just give that awkwardness a place to be, a home. But I digress...

Not only are these hand moves hard for me to refine, they have an element of sexiness to them that my awkward arms can't quite achieve. It's like when I tried hip hop and realized that my hips "just don't move that way." (Yknow, that "ahhhz...push it...push it good" kind of way. You know.) Arm-in-arm-out-past-shoulder-point-finger-slide-down. Too many things to think about to be sexy and slinky come hither arms. But...I'm working on it. It's just too embarrasing to work on in class, so I have to do it at home by myself, but then practicing isn't really practicing when you don't have a real partner getting in your way. Fiddle dee dee.

Today I had a great hair day. It was awesome.

Today I came home late from a long day at work, and still made myself dinner rather than just ordering take out. Yay me.

Today after pressing very few buttons to make an awesome edit, I realized that I am a sharp shooter. Fast too.

Today wasn't the greatest day that I've ever known, but it was way better than yesterday, so i'm grateful for that.

Come fly with me...

...or Falcon, either one.

Another day, another night of blogging from bed. I should really quit this bad habit.

Today I felt humiliated not once, but twice by technology. I really love you technology but the way we rely on you for the useless things in our lives just makes me feel really sad about the human race...and myself, for going along with the human race. Specifically, fb. There, I admitted it. I can't even spell it out by name. You know what I'm talking about, S. I'm going to hang my head in shame now, for even letting it get to me.

On the bright side of things...I'm getting my own show...on the web. I know you're thinking, who doesn't have their own show on the web these days? But since I work in tv, I'm hoping my show will stand out just a little more. At least I'm hoping. For now it's started out as a joke (actually has to do with my recent blog entry about the scary movie) but I'm hoping I can draw out this joke and make something out of it.
Actually I've always been quite serious about it but when I talk about it people end up finding it funny. And yes the haha kind of funny (no pun intended), instead of taking it seriously. Even though this will deviate from what i originally envisioned the show to be (since 7th grade), I really hope that it goes somewhere, does something, has a following. It's just up to me to figure it out what and how. But also I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't go anywhere and was merely a one time joke. I guess we'll see.

I miss the rain...it was like an old friend, popping in to say a quick hello. I was hoping it would have stayed the weekend. We could've had tea together...

A coworker has decided to take the next 2 months to travel, and boss man approved it. Which means he'll be coming back to a job, safe and secure. I AM SO JEALOUS. And yea sure, since he's doing it, I could probably request the same thing, it's like he opened the gates for all of us, but still...I can't and won't. His reasoning was that nothing was keeping him here; he recently broke up with the gf, he still doesn't have a ton of friends here, and now, work is allowing him to come back. He feels like he's still young, gotta go see the world before he has to settle down. I agree with him completely. But as much as I'd love to drop everything, it's just not my nature. I'm a terrible traveler: I get sick so easily (car, motion, viruses, food). Im a girlie girl in that I'd need my stuff with me. Also I'm not one to venture out on my own. As much as I want to believe that I'm an independent woman, traveling is not something I'd want to do alone. What good is seeing old ruins and eating fine foods if you can't share it with someone else? If i travelled alone, I'd probably spend the entire time blogging in my head to someone that didn't exist! I should have studied abroad back in college, but not like I could've afforded it back then! I'm just jealous that coworker is able to do something I'm too scared to do myself. But good for him, I'm happy for him, though it leaves us in a sucky situation at work.

Oh it's so great when you're ready to go to bed and the sheets are cold and there's the sound of rain outside!  Apparently everyone's been waiting for this rain for a while, people can't stop talking about it.  Yes, including me.

I saw An Education tonight which was really good.  Finally a movie that doesn't make me hang my head in shame!  It's got a cute girl obsessed with Paris and she wears cute outfits from the 50s.  My kind of flick!  Movies like this give me hope in doing what I do.

It also made me really miss British things.  I've never been an anglophile like an old coworker of mine who just wanted to move to London and marry an englishman while listening to Brit pop all the time.  I've always thought it was a bit ridiculous, to badmouth and give up your own culture because you were so mad about another.  

But tonight watching this movie made me miss British things that I got to experience for a short while.   Like the British accents of children and women that I always loved to hear, PG tips, the F word with gordan Ramsey, weird words we never use here, answering a question with a question, and antiques roadshow, the BBC version.  I hope I'm lucky enough to experience all this again in the future, but for now I'm just grateful I was even able to get a glimpse.  

There's been a few blasts from the pasts lately which make me wonder what people's true perceptions of me are after spending large quantities of time with me in one sitting.  I don't just mean a hang out here and there but I mean real quantities of time.  The kind where you find out what really makes a person tick or the deepest secrets you don't tell other people.  I always feel like I start off pretty strong but then lose steam somewhere along the way and become this boring person who has nothing interesting to give...

I have this fear of being too serious and boring.  It's not a fear really more like it's something that's followed me all my life.  And so I try extra hard to get rid of it only to find out that I can't because that's just the way I am.  And I guess the fear really just stems from feeling like I'll be stuck with this stigma for the rest of my life.  Hm...I'll try this another day, I don't know where this is going really.

I'm a SURVIVOR!

What?
I'm not gon' give up
What?
I'm not gon' stop
What?
I'm gon' work harder!!!


Yay!! I survived. I'm still alive, and had an ok 2nd night of sleep last night without TOO many nightmares. The first night I had major nightmares...where Brett was shoveling rats down his shirts and I could literally feel them crawling on my body in my sleep. Ugh. And also the movie just kept replaying and creeping into my thoughts during sleep. That is one sneaky movie. NEVER AGAIN.

Just got home from a night with a wonderful man, Mr. Mraz. He was lovely as usual, but I wasn't digging the new goatee. What I love about him is that aside from talent just poring out of his pores, he also has such a positive attitude and outlook on everything. He is all about saving the world, creating community, love, all that lovey dovey stuff. If i didn't love him so much I'd think he was faking it, but I don't think that kind of attitude is something you can fake for too long. There are moments when he is playing or singing so intensely that I have to look away from him...because it's unbearable. I just can't handle watching him when he gets all that intensity in him. It's just too beautiful to look at.

OMG. I'm starting to sound like Bella. Good lord. Moving on.

It's suppose to rain next week. I can't wait to try out my rubber boots! (Yes, to protect me from the long trek i have to make to work. You never know what kinds of puddles could be lurking about from here to...across....the...street...)

Ok, someone tell me who told Scarlett Johanssen she could sing. I mean, ALLOWED to sing. She is awful, and what is Pete doing anywhere near her? Just because she's pretty doesn't mean she should sing! Seriously. ScarJo, please, do us all a favor and just stick to what you do best: Marble Columns. I'll even allow porcelain fountains. This one or that one or this one or that one. BUT NOT SINGING. Thanks.

Must not...fall...asleep.......

So.  Night 2 of blogging from bed.  But tonight it's because I'm afraid of going to sleep.  The trouble with being single is that you go to bed alone- there's no boogieman protection.  I seriously need one tonight.

The trouble started earlier this week when an email at work went out about how good the movie "paranormal activities" was suppose to be.  And then Brett announced that he was going to a screening of it at the paramont lot.  I asked if I could come along since i havent been back on the lot in forever, and its always fun to catch a screening there, no matter how bad the movie is, and since this one was suppose to be good, i thought it would be fun.  But alas, he already had his +1.

Apparently it was my lucky (or maybe unlucky) day since Ellen bailed at the last minute and I ended up going with Brett.

We both knew it was a scary movie but we were both totally and utterly unprepared.  I don't know what we were thinking...

Actually I was thinking of a completely different movie.  Note to self for next time: watch actual trailer of scary movie before bugging someone to take you to a screening.  Actually no, new note: get your scary movie titles right!!!!

I thought we were going to watch some movie with milla jovovich that was suppose to be scary but would turn out to be laughably funny.  After an hour of the movie with no milla anywhere close in sight, I still thought to myself "wow, how are they going to introduce her this late in the game?". Uh...I am so stoopid.  

Towards the climax of the movie, yes the part where I was shitting in my pants and covering my eyes, I was thinking "wow this must be a weird new way of marketing films...to put milla in the trailer and not even use her?". Boy I am so stoopid.  

It wasn't until after the movie that I realized that I thought I was seeing a completely different movie.  Yes after Brett informed me, "uh...milla jovovich isn't in this movie.".    Oh.
  
Seriously people.  There is absolutely no need for people to see this movie.  Not to say it wasn't well done.  It was actually a really good scary movie.   (says the girl who is afraid to fall asleep).  Who likes scary movies anyways?  Unless you're the type of person that likes to torment themselves.

So now, I'm in bed, so very tired but afraid to sleep.  I've already watched my gossip girl DVDs, lived through blaire and chuck's little games for a few hours, caught the late night oprah (today it was about hoarders)...and I'm tired and want to sleep!!!

I wonder if brett's having any luck sleeping.  His gf isn't home for boogieman protection either so he said he was gonna go home and "watch the shit out of finding nemo."  I told him the only Disney movie I have at home was...Monsters Inc!!!!!   Agh.

So for now, I'm blogging and listening to Jason mraz.  Thinking of puppies and flowers and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

Speaking of MR. AZ, Hills and I will be seeing his lovely face Saturday night, at the bowl!  I'm so excited, we've been waiting for this concert for a really long time.  I know most guys can't stand his music but he is really just oh so talented and just so much better LIVE than on his lame poppy over-produced sellout albums.  Ok sorry I didn't mean that.  It's just that I know he is so much better than his albums... But I guess if you want to go world wide, you have to suck it up sometimes and make albums that sell.  And when you're famous people will pay to see your live shows and see how good you really are...?  Man I'm glad I'm not in the music biz.
Though I don't know how much better my industry is...but that introspective career blog shall be saved for another day when I'm not typing with my thumbs.

What else...

Oh my bff and hubs bought a house today.  What an adult thing to do.  Nevermind the fact that they've been married and have two kids-but they're REALLY adults now.  Maybe not just the house but the whole adult package with marriage and kids.  It's like picture day and picking how many pictures you want.  

They chose package A: the marriage the kids the house and ten 8x11's.  For now I seem to have chosen package D: five wallets, no boogieman protection, and years away from being adult enough to order package A.  
But yknow, I think I can only handle 5 wallets for now anyway.  And guess what S?  You're getting all 5 of them to put on the walls of your new place!  One for each room.  Yay!  
Congrats to you both, I couldn't be happier for you guys.  (do I get a room there too??)

Ok kids.  Enough of this silliness.  It's time for bed.  (who am i kidding, its really because my batteries are dying).

Wish me luck, I hope I make it through the night.

I really don't want to make a habit of blogging from my phone but it's just a hand thing to do when you don't have a laptop nor a tv in your bedroom and the phone is just so within reach.

I've been listening to a lot of Savage Love podcasts in bed since I've been sick.  It's a lot like loveline but he takes more time.  Also I think some of the questions are a deeper level of xxx than loveline, if that makes any sense.
It's pretty interesting to listen to, though I don't always agree with what dan has to say.  He's very much against monogamy. And although some part of me agrees with his logic, the other part of me wants to believe he's wrong.  Well ok, he's not AGAINST it, he just doesn't believe that humans are meant to be monogamous.

I know that the world is just too big for me to have only ONE "the one", and if I do meet "the one" it would be one of a handful, with the rest of the handful spread out all over the world.  But what if I'm only really compatible with 100 people in the world?  100 is a rather large number, I don't think I even know that many people, but in the scope of things...100 is merely an ant in the hay stack of our world of 2.5 billion!  And what if 50 of them are just milling about in say, Detroit, all clustered up together as ants like to do.  That cuts my chances of meeting that ONE by half!  (Because really, I'll never go to Detroit, who goes there for fun?)

I don't know what point I'm trying to make.  I guess it's just that I feel like, unless I'm constantly travelling the world and meeting new people everyday, it's not very likely that I'll meet my one in 100 just sitting here idle.  Idle as in living in one area.  But people do it everyday.  Dozens of people are hooking up in the greater Los Angeles area every day!  (or so says the slutty chick on those late night commercials.). And by hooking up I mean having meaningful relationships, THE ONE relationships.  So it must be possible.  But doing the numbers make it seem so improbable...

The trouble with staying home from work...

1. You end up watching TV shows on DVDs non stop, getting sucked into the lives of characters that you'd never hang out with (though secretly wish you did). A couple years ago this happened with Sex and the City, where I started to believe I was Carrie (ok fine, I still do). This year I'm living the upper east side life via Blair and Serena. The only thing is that this time, I know I'm not either of them, but I'm starting to believe I'm living life in the nyc. XOXO

2. You end up bored and paranoid, scouring the internet for swine flu information, only to find that you have all the symptoms. Ah, good old internet. What did we do before the internet days when we couldn't self diagnose our illnesses?

3. You miss hang outs and parties because you can't spend too much time on things that don't involve laying or sitting down.

4. You end up making lame lists on your blog.

5. You listen to way too many hours of the Savage Love podcast, which, isn't exactly trouble, but might be when you realize you can't quit it.

6. You see too much coverage of the Letterman extortion scandal.

That's all for now.

What the face?

Hello, 700th post. Welcome.

I was thinking yesterday how with the cooler weather, it's really starting to feel like fall, something in me was feeling something familiar, and it made me happy...Until I realized that I mistook that familiarity of the "warmth of fall" with the "ugh-ness of sickness". Well, here it is, the first sickness of fall. Thanks for visiting, but you weren't invited, so let's get on with it, eh?

The other day I was trying to explain something to B over the phone and couldn't quite get my point across. It's this cloud of thought sitting in my head that I can't seem to put into speech. And since I can't even think clearly right now, there's really no point of me bringing it up. Except to say that I'm horrible at speaking. Not speech making, but everyday speak. It's really hard a lot of times for my brain to send the proper messages to my lips to get the right words out. If you've met me, you will most likely have experienced this at some time during our interactions. I apologize for my blubbering on. Perhaps I just have to practice more. Or read more (which I've been trying to do). I just really wish I was eloquent in my speech. I use to blame this on the fact that I wasn't born in this country, and didn't spend the first 6 (and very FORMATIVE, mind you!!) years speaking English, but I think I've been here long enough to not be able to use that as an excuse anymore. Darn.

I need me a Henry Higgins. If only Henry Higgins came in a handy iphone app. I'm off to look for one, but in the meantime, I'm looking for book suggestions. Something along the lines of Time Traveler's Wife, Life of Pi, An Equal Music? No no, I take that back. Something more difficult, something where I can expand my speech abilities. Suggestions welcome, and thank you in advance.

Hairy Business

I had a kernel of panic earlier while I sat in the theater. I realized that if I had waited 2 more months to cut my hair, I could've had a rockin' costume for Halloween: Amy Winehouse. It would've been perfect, I have the outfit, the tats, the shoes, the whole shabang. And then i realized that I HAD the hair, which was key to the costume, and now it's gone. Gone. Just like that.

Sigh.

I tried to make myself feel better my telling myself that I don't do anything for Halloween anyways, the last time I dressed up was years ago.

But this year could've been the year that i had a rockin costume!!! Dang it. I jumped the gun, yet again.

I don't miss my hair all that much, other than the way it used to look. Now i feel like a tomboy. I hope it grows out quickly.

The thing about blogs...

Last night, in an attempt to be less secretive and more open about myself, I told a few coworkers over some delicious hipster sausages that I do indeed have a blog. This was after their rant about how blogs are narcissistic and really, who would want to read about what you have to say? "If you're my friend I"ll just talk to you, I don't need to read about it," I think was one of the arguments.

And yes, while I would have to agree that the whole notion of a blog is a bit self absorbed, at the same time, I'm wondering, What's wrong with being a bit self absorbed once in a while? It's not like you're shoveling it down people's throats. It's not a direct email or phone call to any one in particular. You get to talk about yourself as much as you want, and people can read it when they feel like it, at their "leisure." That's right, because reading my blog should be done at your leisure.

I brought up the blog NOT because they were vilifying blogs ("making fun of" was more like it), and I felt like I had to shut them up, or defend my blog. Like I said, they had some pretty valid points. I brought it up merely because I wanted to contribute to the conversation and what better way to do so than to admit that yes, I am an active participant.

It's always a bit awkward bringing up the blog. But whenever you do, the inevitable "what's your blog called" is asked. Let me just say, I bring it up to let people know that "this is something I do," and not necessarily to passive aggressively ask them to read it in a roundabout way. I really have no preference whether I want to let people read my blog or not. It's just that...I'd rather not know about you reading my blog. Once I know who my audience is, I start writing (and editing) according to the audience, and then I feel like I can't be myself and write all the things I want. You think I'm secretive now, wait til I get a real following! By that time, the blog will cease to exist.

Besides, it's the age of the internet. If people like said coworkers were really curious and wanted to read my blog, they could just do a simple search. You don't even have to be a stalker to know how to do that.

What I should have said to those naysaying blog bottom-dwellers was this:
My blog allows me to write my thoughts down, and how I'm feeling at any given time. It's as much for myself as it is for other people; it's a record of the little things that go on in my little life, and once in a while, I enjoy going back in time and remembering those little moments, because we take so much of it for granted. It also helps me to keep what little writing chops I have up, because I need to work on my other skills in order to keep my sanity during work.

I love my blog, and I'm glad I started it up all those years ago, despite even my own skepticism at the beginning. GO ME.

ME. ME. ME. ME. ME.

Because it's MY blog.

Thank you for reading.

Random Rants #473

Wow, I just came home to hear a loud noise at my window. I thought maybe it was thunder, another earthquake, someone throwing something against my window. But nope. I learned from the news that it was a sonic boom caused by the landing of a space shuttle in bakersfield. And suddenly I had this moment of amazement at the world. That i could hear such a loud sound from so far away, that something humans created could go faster than the speed of sound, that there's so many amazing things that go on in the world every minute that I have no clue about.

Multitasking. I recently read an article about a guy who decided to monotask (?) for a whole month. It was an interesting read, something I'm *thinking* about doing. I say this as I'm blogging with the news on loudly in the background. Can't concentrate...big changes in weekend weather...must focus on point. What was my point?

More later.

September Falls

I love how the taste of nectarines always remind me of summer. I had this thought today as i bit into one, and realized that it was already september, and that summer is over, and where did the last 9 months go?

And now fall is upon us (though you'd never guess it from the heat and all the fires). Time for back to school, warm beverages, and things to die. How...convenient.

I realized today that i am now at 10 inches. Finally, I can cut off my hair. But now that I'm at my goal, i'm having second thoughts. I mean, I'd love to have my short hair back, not to have to deal with shedding, less time shampooing, less time drying. But i feel like my 10 has been with me for some years now and parting will be tough. If only i can be sure that i'd get a great cut, but then again, i'm never happy with cuts. I need some time to mull it over.

I just watched gray gardens, the new hbo version, and it was great, and fascinating, and beautiful...but also very depressing. It was a very dark type of sad.

I need something different and new. Something to differentiate then and now. The perfect thing would be a fantastic new haircut, but the hair's not ready to be cut yet, it's still cooking in the oven. Too bad. I have big plans for this new hairdo of mine. Big plans. HUGE. I have to go shopping now.

No, I really do. Ok, no, i don't really. But i'm afraid that's what i'll end up doing in search of this something new. I'll just end up buying that something new. Maybe i'll draw a picture. Make a pretty painting.

Also, i'm really tired of being nice. Nice gets you nowhere in life.

Maybe i'll get a yogurt.

The Shop Around the Corner

Finally watched this tonight and realized that
1. Meg Ryan's adorableness in You've Got Mail is only a rehashed version of Margaret Sullivan's own adorable quirks. Down to the very minute details. Now does this make Meg Ryan a really good actress? Or is she just another Gucci knockoff from Canal St???
I'm not sure.

2. The way James Stewart speaks reminds me of a recent movie I saw with Nick Cage. Why I was even close to a nick cage movie, i don't know, must've been work related. Down to the very lip thing they both do! Ugh. Yet another Gucci knockoff? Except Nick's Gucci knockoff would be found in the final clearance bins of wal-mart. Take that cage!

Finally

I'm so so glad my friends and colleagues are finally home. It was so nice to see their homecoming, especially seeing euna reunited with her daughter. Her life has always amazed me, and now having gone through that it amazes me even more. I can't imagine being away from such a cute kid for so long. I'm not a sappy one, but just seeing her hold on to her daughter for dear life makes me tear up. It's just so weird to think that i know people on the breaking news...

She called in on speakerphone today and hearing her tired voice made me want to cry. It also made me want to give her a really big hug, but not let go for a while. And then I thought about all those other people who might want to give her a hug as well when she comes back and thinking how much more tired she'll be after that. She just looked so thin and pale and just...tired on tv.

And then, as hollywood would have it, all the news goes to paula abdul leaving AI. After all the emotions and intensities and happiness...all those feelings are followed by paula. I really don't know how to feel about that.

Thriller

The other day I was driving with my window down and suddenly heard a car pull up next to me, blasting MJ. Without even looking over, I half rolled my eyes, thinking, "It's been weeks since the funeral, people are still trying to make a statement by blasting it out of their cars?"

So I keep driving, and slowing down at the next stoplight, I heard the music faintly again...but this time I notice that the car next to me is...a ja-goo-ar. A jag, really? So i pull up some more to try and catch a glimpse of the punk behind the wheel, blasting that loud "Thriller" through open widows and was surprised to find...an old man. Like...OLD. LIke balding 80 year old-ish man.

Somehow that made me smile, and I gave him a mental a-ok for blasting music out of his car.

The beginnings of my 28th year has been an interesting one so far. Well, no exciting incidents, more like "mentally interesting." I don't know if it's my surroundings, the direction of my career, the people i'm with, or just......just....dare i say it? Has the countdown began?

Oh dear, I've said it.

This is what they say happens, the switch goes off, and...I think it's happening? Is my switch going off?

Lately I've just been wondering what it's all for. You work so hard and get so far and...for what? Money to buy yourself a lovely aqua dress with buttons and pockets? Yes, that's very nice. But then what?

Perhaps I'm just bored at work, bored with life, so I think about these things. I don't know that having a husband and kids would make me less bored. (probably more stressed than i want to be!)

I just want to be used to my full potential and I guess I don't know what that is. I feel the need to make and create and be really good at something.

I'll let you know when I figure it out. In the meantime, I'll continue to shuffle in diagonal I guess.

PS- HA! I just heard a car blasting MJ out my window. Maybe the old man heard me and decided to drive by my apartment!

Gee...

Hi there,
It's been a while. Lots has happened, the biggest one being MJ's death I suppose. I know it's all over the news now but still, after almost a week it's still so surreal. You can't drive anywhere without passing by a car blasting MJ hits with the windows down. Parties and concerts all pay some sort of tribute to him. I don't think I can say what I want to say without repeating what everyone else has said already. Perhaps I'll expand on my thoughts about MJ in a later post.

Too tired now. Will expand on thoughts at a later time. Just wanted to let you know I'm still around and still haven't forgotten about you. And no my thoughts haven't been elsewhere like Twitter or anything. Just been preoccupied with life. Say, don't we have an epic anniversary coming up? I'll treat you to something nice.

Band Wagon

OMG, why did the "cythia-nixon-is-a-lesbian-and-married" wagon never pick me up until a few days ago? And why, when i got on this wagon, was everyone else already sitting inside comfortably for years and wondering where I was all this time? WHY??

It really explains so much though.

Man alive!

Move Over Ira

Ok, don't move too far. Just scooch over a little bit, and make room for my newest unavailable crush, Steve Martin.

What can this man NOT do? He's funny. He's charming. He's an award winning actor. He's an eloquent writer, of both screen and songs. He's a banjo player. He's got lovely hair. He's quite the renaissance man!

I never think I'd want to meet any celebrities in person, for fear of having nothing to say to them, but I'd love to meet Mr. Martin. I'd ask about his inspiration for Shopgirl. I would've dated him in Roxanne, despite the nose sitch. I'd ask him to sing me an original song. And then I'd swoon...right into his arms.

Welcome Steve Martin. Congrats on becoming my latest man crush.

Close second? JJ Abrams.

Random Rants

I love shopping during lunch. Not that I even need to BUY anything, I just love the freedom of taking an hour during the school/work day to indulge in something that's only reserved for the weekends. And the best part? There's NO ONE TO STOP ME!!

There's no class to be absent to, no teacher who will call my mom, the boss (yes the one who replied to my email today saying he's gone for a swim at the ymca at 4:30pm) could care less. The hour (or maybe a bit more) is completely mine! It's such a thrill. Being an adult is rad.

Also, am planning to dress as Amy Winehouse to a party with the brit. After a trial run this weekend, I was a little disappointed, as I looked less like amy winehouse, and more like an asian whorehouse!! (you like that? i come up with these things ON THE SPOT people!) I'm even trying to hook up the tattoos. We'll see how that goes. Also trying to find the perfect winehouse outfit that has 60% personality accuracy, 20% comfort, 15% sexy, and 5% trashy. Just a pinch of trash, for accuracy reasons. But maybe that would fall under the 60%? Eh. I already gave up on the accent, as mine is so horrible its laughable. If anyone has any suggestions please sent them my way.

Ugh, i'm such an eeeediot.

Just got back from Trader Joes, where I almost got myself into a bad situation.

It went down like this:

I park and get out of my car, only to be approach by a fast talking man. Said something about being able to fix the dents on my car...his shop was just down the street. Already I knew this was a bad situation, and should just be on my way, but no. I let him talk. He said he did a job just like it a week ago and still had the same paint left. He could do it while i shopped. He'd do it for cheap. (um...how many warning signs do i need, really?) So i asked him how much, he said $50. Other people have quoted me much higher prices for the same job before, so I was kind of surprised. Still, let me remind you this was in the middle of the TJ parking lot.

So he explained that his shop was just down the street, he was in need of some cash so he would do it for cheap, he got this bottle of liquid and started wiping it on my dent, "see, just like that, it'll come off, i'll do it while you shop. if you don't like the job you don't have to pay me." On and on. Finally, i kinda just gave in and said ok. Here's the worst part: he said that i could just pop the trunk of my car and he'd get the dent out with his rubber mallot. And i was going to let him. I didn't feel comfortable about it, but for some reason I said ok. Ugh. Dumb dumb. As soon as i said ok (hesitantly) he went to his truck (parked in the middle of the parking lot lane) to get his tools. I stood there thinking.

And then! From across my car, i heard a "miss...miss!" This lady in a bmw was sticking her head out of the car, probably saw the whole thing, and she said in a low voice to me "don't do it miss. don't do it." That was all I needed.

Fast talking man (Tony) then came back to my car with his mallot and solutions, ready to get to work, and I said, sorry, but I'm not going to do it. He looked devastated. "What happened?" he said. "I just changed my mind, thanks though." And I started walking away. "How about $40? What changed your mind? What happened? I can do it while you shop!" I politely declined again, and then walked away and went into the store.

I was a bit shaken up by the whole event that i couldn't concentrate on shopping once i got inside TJs. If it weren't for that lady, i would've left my trunk open with a stranger in the parking lot and paid him money for doing who knows what. I don't know what I was thinking!!!

Ok, i know what i was thinking. I was thinking, the economy's shit, everyone's trying to make money anyway they can, he sounded kind of desperate, I'd help him out and let him work on my car for some cash. But...probably not the way to help someone. Everything about that incident made me uncomfortable, yet I almost did it. But my thinking is always, benefit of the doubt, which is probably stupid and naive....sigh.

I'm so glad that lady was there to intercept. Lots of other people probably witness the situation, but kept on minding their own business. I probably would have too. But good thing she was there to talk me out of it. THANK YOU BLOND BMW LADY! Thank you for saving me from my own idiocy.

Swine?

Yesterday started out fine until I was in the car driving. I thought my blazer was maybe too tight so i took it off. Turns out it wasn't my blazer, my shoulders were just aching on their own. That's when I knew...I was sick. It's weird to have your body being attacked and you completely aware of it. Waking up this morning wasn't any better, I ended up sleeping the day away. What a waste of a perfectly good sunday! One minute you're fine, the next minute a whole sunday's gone. The brit was kind enough to inform me of a deadly flu going around in mexico, one that i had no idea was happening. I thought nothing of it, until I woke up and watched the 5pm world news. It was everywhere: Swine Flu!

Ok, What are the chances of me getting sick out of no where the same weekend that a killer epidemic is going around? Paranoid me then goes to stop the Brit's promised visit, one that would've brought me some needed necessities (aka ice cream?). Despite dreams of ice cream, i didn't want to pass on whatever I had. He also assured me i didn't have the swine flu, but...

I'm sorry Ms. Montana, I am fo reeeeal

Geez, I just can't get away from Hannah Montana these days. I come home after a long day, and turn on my TV to see her on American Idol.

Now, i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she's a poppy disney product. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have talent, right? Wrong. I know, i know. Everyone could've told me that. But still....I gave her the benefit of the doubt. After seeing her sing live on AI just now...her nasally annoying manly voice...it's awful. Yes, i've realized the error of my ways.

Nothing left to do now except to shuffle away in diagonal...

Banter #428

Sometimes i don't get myself. I don't get why i'm so lacking in girlieness, yet at the same time can't stay away from it.

I was assigned to edit the review of the Hannah Montana movie at work this week, I think mostly because the other two male editors would've gone crazy. Thing is...I didn't protest too much. I even had the chance to go watch the movie and expense it but sadly...I knew no one would even consider going with me. I thought about kidnapping some kids so I didn't look like the weird adult going to a showing of Hannah Montana at 10:30pm. Too bad S's kids are too young. (Or are they? Is Abs too young for HM? Is she? Is she?) I ran out of time this weekend anyway, but I'm embarrassed that i was trying to even plan it on Friday.

Seriously! How old am I? And I still watch HM and/or followed by The Suite Life of Zack and Cody?? (Only on saturdays, when I somehow can't find the remote.) And I don't even have a kid to blame it on.

Not to say I'm a tom boy or anything. I love my dresses and skirts and pretty pretty princesses. But everyone who has been to my place always comments on the lack of "a woman's touch." Or how about the fact that I have about a dozen skirts in my closet right now but always end up with jeans and my tennies. It's like i really try to be a girly girl, but comfort always overpowers the effort. Sigh.

Also, this is more for S, but...I'm knee deep in Twilight, thoroughly enjoying it...but....it kinda freaks me out when I read it right before bed. After i turn out the lights I end up suffocating myself in my blankets, only because I'm afraid that someone is watching me. The same thing happened when I was listening to Coast to Coast before bed, (thinking aliens would know that i'm on to them by listening to the program so they'd come after me first) and I finally had to give that up. I'm eager to read it tonight, though the brightly colored Cosmo magazine next to me seems like an option as well. Definitely wouldn't be more mind stimulating (who cares about 50 fun things to do bare-assed), but would create less anxiety in bed. What to do what to do. **Side note, I saw a vampire on People's Court yesterday during lunch. Seriously. He was pretending to be a property owner being sued by some lame renter. Judge Marilyn didn't seem to notice...but he's not foolin me. Nope.

PS

There has been no major decisions made on the name change. It probably won't happen unless I move far away anyways. However, I have been toying with the idea of "VIOLET" in case that day does come. My favorite color, a flower, and just a pretty name in general. I probably don't look like one...but play around with it...let it sink into your head while you look at me next time. Oh, and plus it has the letter V, which is missing from my current name, with its collection of odd letters towards the back of the alphabet. I dunno...plus you can make lots of scrabble words out of it, which you really can't with my current name (flash back to 3rd or 4th grade activity where you're suppose to make as many words out of your name....I couldn't come up with many and the teacher agreed. THE TEACHER AGREED!!! How many times does the teacher agree with a 3rd/4th grader? Yea...)

QUEUE

You know it's been a while since you've posted if blogger asks you to sign in...

It's been a busy jungle out there. That's all i have to say about that.

I do have to say though, that fellow reader, Mrs Warren, has got me hooked on Twilight. Yup, Twilight. I even took it to work with me today for those long render times i sometimes have to wait for. In fact...i'm wondering why i'm spending time blogging now instead of reading...hm....

I'm torn though, because thanks to a tip from Mr/Ms Anonymous, I have now come into my possession: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which a fellow male coworker was happy to let me borrow. The best thing about this book? Illustrations! They're pretty rad. The issue at hand though, is whether to read this book in conjunction with the next book in the Twilight series, New Moon? Or breakup the vampire romance series in favor of zombies romance.

Vampires or zombies....vampires or zombies....hmmm....it's a toss up.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT! I still have my lovely Golden Gate book that was really good too, which i've since put aside for the coming of Twilight.

My netflix queue is feeling a bit neglected as well. I've got Australia coming next, but first i've got to watch these other two i have. And, i'm behind on LOST and 30Rock.

Not enough time in the day I tell ya...

Case of the elephants.

Boy, i haven't had time to do anything lately. The apartment's a mess, the tulips have died, my clothes are strewn about, i can barely find this keyboard i'm typing on. I can't wait til the day when i have nothing to do. When i can just sleep all day and wake up and eat and then go sleep some more.

But in all this busy-ness, i have had time to think. And this thought randomly popped into my head yesterday as i was driving into topanga canyon:

Carrie Bradshaw loves designer labels. But her wedding dress...the dress she ended up marrying Mr. Big in, was purposely a no name label. It just doesn't make sense! Or maybe it made some writer sense, something like, "when it comes to love you don't need labels." And I just couldn't get this thought out of my head at that moment. Why would the writers do that. They must've had a reason. Did they talk about it in the movie? Was it in the dvd commentary? I can't remember now, and I couldn't remember yesterday either. And i didn't know who to call to find out because I don't know anyone who loves the show as much as I do, who would care enough to know what the answer to that was in order to give me the answer and not think it was silly. Because i need to know, dammit.

Or i should just rent the movie again. I never need an excuse to watch a little carrie. (Which, btw, they stopped showing at midnight on the cw...without notice. This made me sad and a little angry.)

Omg omg

This huge thing just happened at work, but i can't talk about it. Or better yet, I shouldn't. But, OMG. I hope my friend is ok.

That which we call a rose...

Every once in a while, i seek out the opinions and advice of my readers. Things like, what color klean kanteen should I get? But today, dear readers, i come to you with an important matter.

My mom sent me an email recently about changing my name. I just now got stuck in a long conversation on the phone with her in best buy. She seems to think that I should have an aka name, one that i introduce myself as. Usually i shrug off her crazy ideas, but this time it's not so crazy.

"Hell, nice to meet you, I'm Sam."

(Think less of Who's the Boss, and more of Country Bear Jamboree)


Now before you think this is a crazy idea as well, try to put yourself in my shoes. I've often felt like people (teachers, employers, new acquaintances, hot crushes) have passed me off because they couldn't pronounce, remember, read my name correctly. And to save themselves the embarrassment of getting my name wrong, it's just easier to ignore me altogether. I've been through enough of these to know the signs. And sometimes it makes me a little self conscious. This hurt me a lot as a first grader at the local library in new jersey, when I should've gotten a prize for a reading program and instead went to my sister...long story.

Anyway, the idea of changing my name is not so crazy, because well, people just don't seem to get it sometimes, and often I'm one of those people too. Which is why whenever someone has an unusual name, I try to make it a point to remember.

But! The counterpoints.
When people do take the time to get to know me, they often love my name. It's unsual, it's unique (but it's very hard to spell...don't forget the dash). I wrote my college essay all about sticking true to my name, and to change it now would seem like i'm going backwards...like my college is going to evoke my diploma or something. And all the important people already know me as my current name, to change it now would be to change into a completely different person! It'd be easy if i was moving across the country, starting a new life. Changing a name wouldn't be so bad. But i'm not. And i'm probably going to stick around here a while...

Sure, it's easy to say, screw the ignorant people who can't remember you. Who say your name wrong even after you've said it for them 3 times already. Why do I have to change something about me to suit the rest of the world? Sure, it's easy to say that. I wish I was strong enough to carry it out. But when you actually live it it's a different story.

The funny thing about this is that my mom thinks my current name is too androgynous. It's too vague on a resume whether i'm a guy or a girl. I told her it works to my advantage...if people think i'm a guy and i get called for an interview because of it then even better, right? She didn't seem to agree. Little does she know that the name sam is pretty androgynous as well...but let's not bring that up.

Maybe I just don't make good first impressions. Maybe if i had a more memorable personality it wouldn't matter that my name isn't so memorable...

What do you think dear readers? If I were to do this it wouldn't be an overnight thing...it'd probably be pretty gradual...but still i wouldn't know how that would work. My first inclination is to dismiss it, and carry out my life spelling my name for everyone. But again...my mom does have some good points that I agree with.

Good think i'm having this identity crisis now, as opposed to later when i'm having my midlife crisis. One at a time, right?

Work is killing me.

I'm exhausted, and I can't seem to catch up on the weekends. I miss long deep sweet sleep. Last night I went to bed thinking about the horrors that awaited me this week, and had a mini nervous breakdown. I then ended up dreaming about working the whole night, and couldn't get into deep sleep all night. I woke up exhausted. I feel like an old woman. I feel like I LOOK like an old woman. Withered and weathered. I'm in a frump slump. Even today in my nice bow tie sweater I felt frumpy. I need to go to the gym, and some new clothes. Maybe some heels. But even the mere thought of heels exhausts me right now. Oh no...this is not good. I can't afford to be an old woman at my age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much needed post...

It's way past the time I want to be in bed but...I had some things to post about...three...from what I remember.

1. I started reading this new book from my used collection, and realized it had an inscription in it! I was so excited! It wasn't the most exciting of inscriptions though, but at least the book is good. The inscription says:

August 1991
Kathy - (the bestest drama coach)
Something to remember SF by. Congratulations on your show. Wishing you lifelong success.
Love, Jennifer

My question is, why would you ever sell a book that someone wrote an inscription to you...in? How is Kathy ever going to remember SF without this book? Lucky for her that SF is pretty unforgettable. But still. I'd always keep inscribed books. At least ones to me. I wonder if Kathy even read the book...

2. I saw my favorite character from my favorite show at coffee bean during my lunch break on friday, further proving the fact that this show and I have it in the stars...together. Whatever that means. Favorite character other than Rob of course, but he is new, and she is permanent. I saw her right away when i walked in, and turned around and gave steve my "omg" eyes, which he didn't catch on to and just gave me a weird look back. So I turned to gawk at her again, not really sure if it was her because she looked a little different, but then the barista called "Lucy" and she picked it up, and that validated my suspicions. I love star gazing at the grove! Of course...no one around knew who she was. Heck, at my age, I shouldn't really know who she is. But still, I love her character on the show.

3. How did daylight savings time get past me this year? It totally crept up unbeknownst to me until this morning, when a friend who was suppose to come over at 10am called me at 9am, already parking her car outside. Technology is so tricky...our cell phones were way ahead of the game and had adjusted the time for me, as well as her. She had no idea it was day light savings either! There was a long minute of confusion after I hung up with her, looked at my clock radio, looked at my phone, back at the clock radio, wondered if power had gone out in the middle of the night for an hour, back at the phone, then out the window, back at the clock radio....you get the idea. I was a confused and groggy bear this morning.

And then I turned into an angry bear after realizing I just lost an hour and didn't even have time to prepare for it!

And that, dear readers, are your three things I needed to post today. Thanks for reading.

Where does the time go?

Apparently yesterday was mardi gras, and I had no clue. Even after seeing that ellen at work made beignets and went to town with the decorations in her office, I figured she must be celebrating early for some odd reason. Not once did i think that it was actually mardi gras. In my head i was certain that the actual Mardi Gras wasn't til march, but i must've been getting that mixed up with leprechaun day...even though in my head i was really thinking of brazilian-naked-dancing-bootay-shaking-til-you-drop Day, which is the same as mardi gras...

Apparently, mardi gras is also Pancake day, as the brit informed me. Since I am never one to argue with days that celebrate food, I complied to this bit of information, even though it was way too late to be eating. So we made pancakes, flipped them, then ate them.

Work is still full speed ahead, and everyday i have mini heart attacks when i think about what's to be done before next thursday when the show airs. There's not much time. Suddenly i'm transported back in time to 2005, a time when the idea of someone "ruling a remote" was the least of my worries, but at the same time, killing me softly, and very slowly. This now isn't half as bad as that time was, but every once in a while, something will spark a memory, which leads me to shudder in my seat.

And now i'm tired, so i bid thee adieu.

Midnight train of thought to Georgia

Ok, this "back in action" thing has been keeping me pretty busy. So far it's a good kind of busy, although last friday i was so close to losing my mind at work that all i wanted to do was yell at people and tell them how stupid they are. But my strategy instead was to avoid interaction, so i went home and made myself a sandwich for lunch, and watched I love lucy, which calmed me down a bit.

Part of it I think had to do with PMS. The thing with PMS, i think i'm pretty good with it, as in, i don't go all psycho crazy even though sometimes that's what it feels like in my head. But I hate not being in control of my emotions. Like right this minute i have an incredibly strong attraction to wolverine...but then again, he IS the sexiest man of the year so i guess that's not that strange. And yes, rob is still in the picture. In fact, i randomly found this on youtube on friday, and it brought a smile to my face during my inner moment of rage and fury. But, rob is a boy...wolverine is a MAN (and part wolf! grrrrrr)!

Ok, now i've completely lost track of what i came to blog about.

Basically, life is pretty good for me right now. All i'm missing is a personal creative project, something that i can get so excited about that i'd want to work on it when i get home from work. My creative juices are currently clogged, and that's a bit frustrating. But other than that, i really don't have much to complain about.

Privileged

Man, how much do i love this show. SO MUCH. Every week it just gets better and better. This week's episode was good by itself, and then they had to throw robbie in the mix. I knew he was coming, i just didn't know it was happening so soon. Sure, he's actually wearing clothes this time...but i see a breakup on the horizon, which means he'll soon be taking his shirt off as the new lead boy. I know it looks silly, but there are some complex and intricate plot points in this show! And tonight, i saw really good, serious acting! I wish you all knew how great this show was...

Meh

It's amazing how people can over look 1 number out of 7, and dial the wrong number. I have people calling me with reservations, thinking I'm the Jazz club down the street. I have this guy calling me once in a while, to tell the bus driver not to pick him up tomorrow for whatever reason. V day is coming up soon, I wonder how many will call to make reservations...and then...do I call them back again, like last year?

Also, if he hasn't asked to be your facebook friend, does that mean he's just not that into you? Ok, silly question, I know.

And, I know that movie production sometimes takes a while, but for a pretty low key movie like He's Just Not That Into You, which should be finished in a few months, definitely less than a year, you'd think they'd be up to speed on what's cool in social networking sites. That line, "Myspace is the new bootay call?" Um...yea, maybe that's why she hasn't heard from her man. Because he's ditched myspace and is chasing down girls on facebook. Just saying...

Lastly, some BOYS are stupid. Not all, I'm just saying some. The nerve of them some times! Really, so childish. Ugh.

An Odd Occurrence

An old man flipped me off yesterday....

I was about to make a right turn onto fountain. I looked both ways and saw the man crossing the street towards me. So I was going to wait til he crossed fully before making my turn. So he walks towards my car. Closer and closer. I figured he was going to walk in front of my car, or behind it. NOPE. He just stood there. Right next to my car. Yes, i was probably out into the street way more than i should've been but i couldn't have backed up, there was another car behind me. If he had crossed in front of my car he would've been fine. But he didn't. He was just standing in the middle of the street next to my car for a really long time! So then I decided to make my turn, and get out of his way. So I turned. And as i turned, I saw him in my side view mirror, clearly flipping me off. No words were exchanged, no anger. Just a stillness in his stance next to my car, and a silent but strong flip of the finger....

Also, has anyone noticed that when you cook up Trader Joes ground beef or turkey, they always look like poop pellets? I wonder why this is.

Work Fail

Had an unexpected breakdown tonight after fallout from the day.

One of the things I'm working on this year is confidence. Today was a combination of being over confident and lack of it, one of which led to the other but I can't tell which one came first, and I fell apart while on the phone with B. He happened to know what I was going to tell him, due to a mutual acquaintance that was involved, and the fact that he was completely aware of my fail before I even told him set me off the edge, and I just couldn't hold it together anymore. Kinda like when your pearl necklace breaks and all the little pearls go flying everywhere on the ground. But really, who breaks their pearl necklace anyways?

Two separate fails happened today, and though they didn't have anything to do with each other, the fact that they both landed on the same day ended up affecting each other. And I learned something from these incidents today, one of which being: don't judge someone based on first impressions. Yes, sometimes you can just tell what a person is like based on your first impressions of them, but sometimes, Sometimes, that person may just be having an off day. I know that the person I talked to today received a terrible first impression of me, and I know I could've made a better one. (Thats confidence speaking) But then again, maybe if I had a chance for a do-over, I'd end up doing the same thing, making a worse impression for the second time. (Thats the lack-of speaking) I don't know.

In any case, today was a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be better.

Pee-ew

Skunk. My nose is filled with skunk. Skunk in my car, skunk in my nose. I slept through skunk not knowing it was skunk. Even after a thorough shower i still smelled it. It's not very pleasant. Funny thing was, B and I were talking and he suddenly said, you smell good. I'm like, thanks, but that's the skunk. He said, no it must be your lotion or something. I said, no, i don't have any girly lotion on, all i have on is the skunk in my nose and my car. And then he said maybe its my shampoo. So i agreed but then realized later that i didn't wash my hair today, which means, it's still the skunk. I now know what to get him for christmas!

I had a nice exchange in the bathroom a few hours ago with this woman who held the door open for me. There were two stalls open, so we each went into one until she said, "I want that one" to the one I was heading in. I was all ready to give it up to her since she was so nice to open the door for me and all, but she said "just kidding" when she saw that I was ready to give it over. And then proceeded to talk about being pee-shy so I'd have to go first, and even just the mention of that made me pee-shy so then I told her she'd have to go first.

And um....this story was much funnier in person than in blog now that I think about it, I won't even go on.

So thanks to the random lady at cat and the fiddle for making me laugh while i was trying to pee. It's much appreciated.

I need a camera phone.

Threatening note posted at the starbuck's pickup counter:

Children left playing unattended at the bar will be given espresso and a puppy.

Loved it. Wish I had a photo to back it up. Like say...a photo taken on my iphone that I can then instantly upload to various online outlets, networks, and blogs which would then generate "lol"-like comments and or starbucks haters buzz through the internet wires.

But until then, I will just write a little post about it on my little blog, and wait for the androgynous anonymous to make a comment about it.




Annnnnnnnnnd go.

Oh dear...

The thing about being home is that i end up watching the news. The news that tells me everyday that unemployment is at an all time high....since wwii?? I wish i could quit the news...but it is my source to the outside world. Le sigh.

I have this big tree in front of my window. It blocks my light, and I kind of hate it. But i can't help but look outside every now and then and thinking what a great tree it would be for a tree lounge. Not a tree house, after all, we are in desperate economic times, and I assume the housing crisis would apply to trees. But a nice little lounge with pillows and candles would be nice. An extension to my patio that i never use.

Let's get ready to rumble!

Oh no...they just keep coming. There's been a slew of small earthquakes in socal lately. Lately as in within the past two or three months. A couple here, a couple there. Never anything big. Always out there in the boonies or the 909. It just worries me of what's to come. It's like the earth is slowly sneaking up on us...vewy vewy swowy.

AND THEN BOOM!

It'll take us by surprise.

Best news of the day!

Came across this article today...

My new favorite show and hottie, together....what can get better?

Seriously, this is a good show. It's been my secret guilty pleasure since the new fall lineup. If I had to pick between this and gossip girl, it would be this show. It's my gilmore girl replacement. Something about this show...the characters are great, the story lines are great, just a very likeable show. You all know how much i love rob, but i've never talked about how much i love this show, and now that they'll be together....well shoot...nuff said.

Trouble on the horizon...

The idleness...it's settling in.

This...not wanting to do anything but needing to do everything.
This...Will from About a Boy who breaks up the day into units of time.
This...having lunch at 4pm because going to the gym took up lunch's unit of time, and the bowl of cereal after gym took up another nameless unit of time.
This...love of freedom but wanting to be useful.
This...itch to be and do too many things at once that results in a netflix movie.


It's all seeping in slowly...and it's only day 1. Sigh. Things are not looking good.

On the upside, tomorrow is a new day. So I'm going to "keep calm and carry on."

Happy New Years Eve

Been listening to adele all day. I think i've gone through the cd 4 times already today. It's too bad her show at the wiltern is already sold out. With James Morrison no less! Would've been a great show. Sigh...

I made a coffee cake for tonight. I messed up on the crumb topping this time for some reason...because instead of crumbly goodness, it looks like little pieces of poop. Poop. What a shame.

I also just finished making some stuffed mushrooms...don't know how those are going to turn out. Not a good day for cooking it seems.

Boy, cooking is tiring!

I hope you all have a fantabulous new year's eve, and a wonderful year to come!

Ugh

I hate when I think I'm just going to run out for a few quick errands looking like crap, but its ok, its only for a few quick things here and there, and they turn out to be long ordeals through lines and traffic, and I run into MULTIPLE people I wished I had looked fabulous for.

And then I hate when I'm looking fabulous for no good reason, and I'm out and about, but my errands only take me 10 minutes, and I don't run into anyone that I can show off my fabulousness to.

Life is sneaky like that.

My hair is starting to do a funky thing that is not agreeable to me. Makes me want to cut it right off, and start the new year with a fabulous new do. But alas, its not time yet. Instead I'm hiding it under a few lame hats I have, not trying to be hat trendy, just trying to hide the weirdness.

The jury is in...

Got the final word from the actual source:


Hi.
I am doing a film now.
But I'm afraid your mom must mistake me with someone else.
I never do anything acting in China yet.
:p



yesssssssssss.

The latest on my $50

Decided to take things into my own hands....I just looked up the model, sent her a message via facebook. I hope she writes back soon. $50, here you come!!

Luigi Pizza Pasta

I was just going through some of my old posts, and I'd have to say, some of them are pretty darn good. Or, are they just good because I'm reading about my own life, and laughing at my own lame jokes? But I'm allowed to do that.

I hope you readers know that I try very very hard to write a good title. Something clever that sums up the post, or foreshadows a theme in the post, etc. Sometimes, i have to admit, they're not so good, especially if i'm in a hurry. But usually I take the time after a hearty post to come up with something good, for you, dear reader.

I'm finally back in LA from the OC. It's good to be back, amongst my own things. Besides, the OC gave me a zit for christmas, so, I was ready to quit it. Also had a lovely chat with my mother, who continues to remind me that I need to have babies. Because I am a...baby machine? Must've lost that memo. I can only handle one bump at a time, and right now, I need to handle this bumpy zit on ma face, ace.

Things on my mind this morning...

*Does Yoyo Ma ever get tired of people asking him to play the bach cello suites? I'm guessing no, because it's so pretty that he probably enjoys playing it over and over.

*It's amazing that my eyes can focus on foreground and background, whenever I tell it to. In focus, out of focus. In focus, out of focus. Now you're blurry, now you're not. I tried doing it without thinking too much about it, but soon realized that ultimately, my brain is the boss of me.

*When will I get to collect on my $50 from my mom? We are both 99% sure of ourselves, but still have not been able to find out for sure. Perhaps monday.

*What kind of person would I be today had I stayed in taiwan and grew up there instead? Would i be blogging in chinese? Or if i had grew up in france? I would definitely not be the person I am today. Or would I? It'd be nice if I could visit another version of this world and find out.

SH needs a new pair of shoes!

Somehow, i've entered into a bet with my own mother. One that involves money. She swears this actress on a chinese soap drama is one person, while i swear that it's not. I then asked if she cared to put $20 down. She raised to $40. I raised to $50. And there you have it. She tried to do some research on the internet and couldn't find anything to back it up. I think we're waiting til tomorrow when the show is back on to check during the credits. This is what boredom has come to. At least i'll make some money off of it.

Mind if i rub up on ya?

Merry Christmas y'all.

Today I came across two great pieces of information.

First, I found out that some dear friends are having a baby soon. Finding this out nearly moved me to tears. The first babies of a young couple are always exciting, for the couple who have always wanted to have kids. But I was always under the impression that they weren't planning to have kids, so I had tucked that little piece of information away in my head. And then to find this out was so...surprising and unexpected. But in such a good way. I think it really gives me hope, not necessarily for them or for me, but for the unknown. You just never know what's going to happen, as much as you plan, or don't plan for things. But things just happen, and sometimes they're shitty, and sometimes they're wonderful, like babies. (Babies who might share my birthday!) So here's to the new year and to the dozens of unknowns that come with it. I'll bear and grin through a few shitty things, if it means that i'll get a few wonderful things out of it.

Then, I found out that another dear friend spent a wonderful holiday with both her family and significant other. That's, TOGETHER, under one roof. That might not sound like anything out of the ordinary for some, but for me, to have people i love and care about get along and like each other is very important. There's also deeper points to this story for her and I that I won't get into here, but let's just say I was living vicariously through her for this event, and I'm so glad to hear that it turned out not just well, but stellar. Again, it gives me hope. Hope for good things to come.

I figure, if great things are happening to those around me, the excess will surely rub off on me, right? Let's just hope they appreciate all that rubbing up I'll be doing on them.

The British are coming, the British are coming!

And boy, they sure use some funny language. There's no meat in their mince pies, and blood pudding is a tasty treat for breakfast. Hm...yea.

And why is it that my british accent sounds so good in my head, but once transferred through my mouth into reality, it sounds like crap?

Scrooge McDuck

Something's been bothering me lately. I get that it's christmas time and all the charities are out and about, saving christmas for all the little poor kids. But it seems like everywhere i go, everyone wants you to donate toys.

"Give a kid a christmas this year, donate a toy."
"Get into the christmas spirit this year and donate a toy."
"Thanks to your generous toy donations, little boys and girls everywhere will have a christmas."

What are we teaching kids these days? That christmas=toys? These charities seem to be telling me that if kids don't get toys, then christmas is completely ruined! Whatever happened to just spending time with family, having a meal that's not boot soup? Maybe i don't really get this holiday at all. I totally get that gift giving is a large part of this holiday, and of course parents want to give their kids toys for christmas, I don't see anything wrong with that. What annoys me is when people want you to think that the holiday is completely ruined if kids don't get toys.

Someone who celebrates this holiday more than I do, please tell me: are toys really that important in making christmas?

What about the other kids who don't celebrate christmas?

Mmmmminty

Mint seems to be the official flavor of Christmas. I love that during christmas time, all the chocolates in stores have a minty cousin that visits. And there's peppermint mochas and mint flavored whip cream and well...I've yet to have some peppermint schnapps. I rhetorically asked myself why this was, but apparently did so aloud, because someone said, "Because mint is cool and reminds people of winter." Made sense to me!

Note to self: Addedum

Renew those damn library books!! No more fines on your card!! You just missed the due date by 35 minutes. DAMMIT.

Note to self:

I just need to chill out sometimes and be at peace with awkwardness in life. Awkwardness in my actions, Awkwardness with people interactions, Awkwardness in general.

Embrace it, know it exists, and move on. Breathe, and let go.

Just call me S-Lo

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it...

I'm still known as Ms. Lopez at the grocery store. Must...update...rewards...card!

I feel so CSI when they call me Ms. Lopez...like i'm living someone else's life, in order to figure out what happened to them. And yes, there is a Mr. Lopez in the picture. It's kinda nice to be faux married. I pretend like I'm going home to Mr. Lopez, to make him some Lean Cuisine, or some other type of dinner that sinGALs eat. (Wow, I just coined a term. Single gal=sinGAL. You heard it here first, ladies and gents.) On second thought though, my sinGAL grocery purchases might give my identity away!

After we finish our frozen meals, he's going to go smoke his pipe while smoothing his mustache by the window (Mr. Lopez just sounds like he would have a mustache), while I go off to my corner and stitch. And we'll make small talk about our day. He'll tell me about business things that I won't care for, but I'll smile politely about. And I'll tell him about the neighborly ladies that came and sat with me today, and relay the gossip of the neighborhood. He'll roll his eyes and disapprove, as Mr. Lopez does not care much for gossip. I'll then ask him whether he thinks my dress is smart enough for dinner at the Westerly's next week.

Ok, i need to stop reading books altogether. Or any books that make the voices inside my head read with an english accent.

Jolly good.

I'm cheating on you...

Yes, it's true. I recently bought myself a new journal, and began journaling, like I did before blogs were invented. At around the same time, I happened to find this book at the library by Anais Nin, called Henry and June. Basically her diary during the time of meeting these two people. So, i've been reading other people's diaries, and writing my own. Some things are just too personal for blogs. Maybe someday when I die, someone will find my journals, and publish them as well. Although I do have to say, they're not as insightful as Ms. Nin's. It's more of an exercise for me to organize my thoughts and remember what's happened in the past so I can learn from them in the future. The latest lesson? Articulate and Communicate. I'm still working on that one.

The other day I was at the store, and Christmas Time Is Here was playing over the loudspeakers. I thought everyone loved that song. I hear it and immediately think of my good pal Charlie Brown, and gives me warm feelings of Christmas. But not everyone seems to think so. As i was paying, the cashier sighed in annoyance.

"I hate this song," she said. But why, I asked. Everyone loves this song! "It's so depressing. And they're awful singers." She then mimicks the high pitched singing. "It's just horrible." I laughed, and went on my way. And as I listen to this song now, while I blog...she's right, it is quite somber and depressing. But I guess thats Charlie Brown. That's his schtick, and why I love him.

I watched SNL this weekend, and on one of their skits, someone mentioned that, in these harsh economic times, flirting is free. Why yes, yes it is. Although it might be more like credit, as in: flirt now, pay later. Depends on how you roll I guess. And that got me thinking...in these tough times, what else is free that you can give?

Hugs and Kisses
Genuine Compliments
Sing/hum/whistle a song
Friendship
Shadow puppet show
A great blog post
A firm handshake

What else?

Care to jump?

Today i discussed "jumping" with vonne over lunch. Jumping as in, screw the fears and doubts, and just jump in to what I really want to be doing. Always easier said than done. And then later, in the car, i started going over all the other times i've jumped in the past. And I realized that I've always landed pretty firmly.

In college i started as an econ major. That's ECONOMICS, yes you heard me. Even then i knew it didn't feel right (and yes, that was before I got the C in Intro to Economics...I can admit it now, but was horrified back then). It just seemed like something safe. And yes, having rob in my classes wasn't so bad either. **Nod wink poke....slobberrrr....** But thanks to a screening of Toy Story 2 at a small theater on campus, I finally figured out what I had to do. Jumping into the arts then was so daunting, full of what ifs and thoughts of "but i don't want to wear black all the time." Turns out it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I can't imagine being an accountant right now. No offense to accountants, I could never do what you guys do.

Lookey me now. I'm living quite comfortably and not out on the streets. It's been done before and I can do it again.

But still...for some reason that jump back then seems alot easier than the jump i'm about to embark on. It's easy to jump away from econ and the professor that i never respected. And not that what i'm about to do is such a jump anyways. More like a firm hop. But it still seems scarier than back then.

Still working through it all, but all's I have in my head right now is:

"...if you want more...More...MORE...JUMP!
For my love...JUMP IN! And feel my touch.
Jump, if you want to taste my kisses in the night then
Jump, jump, for my love."

Thanks pointer sisters. I do want to taste kisses in the night, so I will jump. Or, hop. Whatever.

Who's with me???

Prince Namor, The Sub-Mariner

It makes me sad that i'm using up all my superhero stamps on mailing my unemployment claims. Seems like such a waste. These stamps should be used on important, urgent notes, letters with messages of hope or loss, greeting cards for the unexpecting recipient, packages full of goodies. Instead they're going to some stuffy office that you can't even get through on the phone. These claims may even be opened by machine. Oh dread. Which means no one even gets to appreciate the superhero i've carefully plucked out and placed. I'm hoping that someone somewhere in that unemployment office notices mr. Sub-mariner, and that it brings joy to their day. Here's to hoping!

Christmas time is here...

It's amazing how we're already 9 days into December. I feel like thanksgiving was just last week. December's half over and I still can't get into the holiday spirit. I can't remember previous years, maybe I've just been a scrooge all this time. For records and archival purposes, I'll have to list myself as Scrooge for '08. Even after Charlie Brown tonight...he's usually pretty good at getting me into the holiday spirit: valentines, halloween...christmas. But this year it doesn't feel like the holidays at all, even though i see decorations all around me.

Breakups are tough, especially during the holidays. If only you could plan for them...but I've learned they just happen on their own. I've been doing a lot of thinking about things, especially being unemployed, I've got lots of time to do so. I guess i've just jumped ahead of the holiday season, and landed in new year mode, with all the self reflecting i've been doing. But they don't seem to be getting me anywhere.

Goings On

Lately I seem to get sick when I'm not working. And it always starts on a Tuesday for some reason...odd. This last one started with a scratchy throat, and turned into this THING. Now i'm spraying myself with nasty green colored chloraseptic every 2 hours. I have not spoken at all today except for a quick 5 minute phone call. And now i wonder if my voice exists at all....

Whew, its still there.

Today I was able to fill up my car for $20. Not too shabby. I feel like i'm back in college again. Ah, the good old days.

Last night, netflix informed me that i can watch movies on my mac. Oh what wondrous news. Another fabulous reason for me to become a hermit.

The last of my turkey sammich is calling me, i must depart.

Ouchy

I stubbed my toe in the shower this morning, and now, hours later, it won't stop throbbing. There's just a pulsating beat on the tip of my toe.

It hurts, but at least I know i'm still alive.

Rob Update

So, the show that got him famous was cancelled, now what?

Don't worry, we can catch with Heather Locklear on Flirting with 40. Oh rob...must you always be naked?

The Hills Are Alive...

With fire. Fire everywhere. I just called up a friend to see if they were ok after seeing fire in their new neighborhood on the news. Turns out he had no idea, since he doesn't have TV. Crazy. What's even crazier is the fire itself. It's quite mesmerizing. And it sure moves fast.

So today I tried an alternative to the usual sick movie. Goodbye: You've Got Mail, Hello: Sound of Music. But I stepped it up a notch more by watching the audio commentary version with Robert Wise and orchestral only version. It was quite interesting. And listening to the music without the singing was a bit annoying, cuz once you hear the music, you automatically expect singing with it. But still, enjoying the music only wasn't so bad either.

What happened with YGM you ask? Well, i started replaying the scenes in my head while i was still considering which sick movie to watch, and remembered that, oh yea, tom hanks basically ends up lying to meg ryan for 3/4 of the movie and puts her through the ringer with his "project" and all she has to say at the end was...."i wanted it to be you." C'mon girl. We all wanted it to be him too, OR, did he just set us up too, to make us believe that? Yea, something to think about.

Well, lipstick jungle is cancelled. Can't say i'm surprised. Hopefully we'll see rob in something else soon.

This morning I realized I only had one earring in one ear, and not the other one. So i scoured my apartment for this other missing earring: i looked in my bed, in my hat i was wearing, in my old clothes, in all the corners...and nothing. Nothing.
I tried to remember when I had last taken a look at myself to try to gauge when I had lost it. Nothing. I even called the dentist to report a missing earring, in case it was there. Nothing.

Hours later, i opened up a drawer, and saw the earring in there. How the heck? I can't even remember how that happened or when. But at least I found it.

Went to the dentist earlier this week (right before my benefits ran out! whew) and I'm happy to report I have no cavities. The dentist said: "Good for you, bad for me." I thought it was funny.

It's been a long tumultuous week, despite how little work i've actually done. And it's bound to get more interesting. Stay tuned.

Hit Again

The Layoff Bandit strikes again! The bandit was last seen taking my job, and replacing it with the flu. Sigh...that's all the energy I can devote to that right now.

Yesterday a friend of mine told me he was buying a house, and it just went through. On top of that, his gf is moving in with him. On top of that, the gf, who the parents didn't approve of, was now approved thanks to some psychics. On top of that, he had just come out of a review at work, where they gave him a higher than expected raise. And then he said he was going to propose. I couldn't be happier for him. I mean, what a great string of events to occur to one person, right?

What happened to stuff??

Why can't things be made like the good old days? I mean, ok, I know WHY. But...why??

I buy things. Things break. They design and engineer things to purposely break, I get it. But why oh why?

Lately all my electronics have been dying on me. First it was the paper shredder. Then it was the speakers. Then the stereo. One minute the stereo was playing, the next minute it wasn't. It literally stopped playing mid track. And it's only a little over a year old!! Same with the paper shredder. I can find use for the basket part ...but I'd hate to throw this big chunk of shredding metal material just into the trash. Same with the stereo. What a waste of material!! Good decent plastic and metal and wires and who knows what else. There was nothing wrong with either one of them. If I can keep them for 30 years more I would. But I wasn't even offered that chance.

I'm aware of what's going on. I've watched The Story of Stuff. But still...it sucks. I just want my stuff to work!

So i went to staples to get another paper shredder. When I tried to purchase it, the first thing the cashier lady asked me was, "Return?" I said no, i'd like to purchase. She said, "oh." OH?? I inquired after her odd response. She said "oh, its just that everyone comes in wanting to return paper shredders." Great. But i shrug it off, and decided to buy the in store warranty. Turns out, there's an in-store warranty for STUFF, and then there's a whole separate price for PAPER SHREDDER warranties. They have a whole warranty of their own! SIGH. I bought it anyways, but I'm not happy about the plight of "stuff" being made in the world today.

Gone are the days of ten cent ice creams at the drug store, and when purchasing a paper shredder was a big deal, because sure you paid more for it but at least you knew it was going to last for another 10 years. I can only relive those days now through I Love Lucy....days when hats were made by measuring your head and picking out your styles and materials and bringing it home to Ricky only to have him make you return it because it's too expensive and you had to put his name down for credit at the store because you couldn't pay for it yourself with the $5 a week allowance he gives you....wahhh

Uh, yup, those were the days...

Retraction of Retardedness

I hearby retract my previous post, as situations have changed.

I didn't know that you had to register first BEFORE filling out the absentee ballot application. I thought the absentee ballot application WAS registering. After checking to see i wasn't on the registered list, i called the voting people and after waiting 20 minutes, they tell me i am not listed, another person is listed under my address. And then after much impatient "duh" tone in her voice and choice words from the very rude lady, I realized I had to register first, which I already missed the deadline on. So I panicked thinking I missed out on voting.

But then I realized I'm still registered at my parents place and after a quick call placed to mother, mother informed me that she has indeed seen my ballot at the house. So now all I have to do is apply for an absentee ballot with my home address, which I just did, so now i'm all set.

Fingers crossed.

I'm a retard.

Try, try again...

I was admonished for my lack of blogs earlier this week by a fellow blogger...so here I am. Though you all should know by now...I go through cycles...periods of plentiful blogs, and periods where nothing comes to me. My ability to blog is not always with me...and then it feels like pulling teeth. But once I start I do get the knack back, so bare with me.

Yup...nothing.

Nothing of substance anyways. My apartment is a mess, I need to clean it and get rid of STUFF.

Yknow, it's great working across the street and all, I know I have it good, but some days, its suffocating. I go from one building directly to another, no commute time, no morning-wake-up-in-the-car-listen-to-bad-talk-radio time...no zoning out time. That time has now been compounded into morning shower time. And sometimes, when I work late as I did tonight, there isn't much time to go out and decompress before bedtime. Sometimes, it makes me want to scream and throw a tantrum.

Speaking of which...please excuse me...

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times...

The worst: when there is only one stall in the girls bathroom.

The best: when no one walks in while you're doing the doo.

The worst: when you walk in and it already smells and all you want to do is just pee the last cup of coffee from 10min ago.

The best: when you do the above and can walk out without anyone walking in on you.

The worst: when you're washing your hands, someone else walks in, thinking the smell is from you when you innocently walked in on it as well.

The worst: when you think you've got off scott free, walk out of the restroom a free woman, only to have your arch nemesis waiting just outside the door to go in...knowing she's going to walk in and think you're responsible for the smell.

The best? When you're arch nemesis is no longer your arch nemesis, because enough sunshine eventually melts the ice to reveal...a much squishier byproduct.


Based on a true story.


Hi heather c! Thanks for being a fan.

I'm back...

Took a small hiatus to shoot a music video...still in the middle of it all, but am taking this small window of opportunity to say hello.

Went to get peruvian takeout tonight. I had forgotten that the waitress there (I think they only have one) doesn't speak a word of english. Except for maybe "Thank You." I tried to communicate "TO GO" to her...but to no avail. She just didn't understand (even with my lame hand gestures and pointing to the door...uh, duh! Pointing outside means to go. It's so obvious...and yes i'm being sarcastic) and responded with spanish that I didn't understand. Which then made my head go into foreign language mode, and for some reason my limited spanish vocabulary (me gusta, por supuesto!, no esta aqui) didn't kick into gear, instead my french popped into my head.

"Pour allez?" thought my brain...even though that didn't sound right either. After she finally understood "to go" with the help of a fellow diner, I sat and waited. Waited and thought about how I was going to ask her to include their delicious bread with green sauce.

Pain...s'il vous plait...no, por favor! What's bread in spanish? Pain. No. Oui. No, si, SI! Vert. Vert? Vert sauce? Merci. No no, gracias. Gracias! My brain was on fire! On fire with french though...but in a city like this, what good is it for, except... eavesdropping on french mothers at the grocery store, and mostly tourists at The Grove? Luckily, she included the bread and sauce without me having to ask, and we parted on a "thank you"- her, "gracias!" - a happy me. A gracias that i practiced in my head over and over while i waited. Not merci, gracias. Gracias!

How do you say "take out" or "to go" in spanish?

And yes, the lomo saltado is still delicious to go.

A Real Nail Biter

A chunk of my fingernail has been snagged, and if i lift it up just ever so slightly, i can see the skin under my nail. I am trying to buff it so it doesn't snag on anything else...and hoping that it doesn't come off. I'm not ready to lose part of my fingernail nor see the skin under my nail.

The culprit? My old computer. It tried to bite me when i was taking out its insides, and rightly so i guess. It must've known that I was about to hand it over to a new owner, and was retaliating against me. I tried not to talk about the separation in front of it, but it must've had super sensitive hearing if it heard me whispering. Then again, it was a super sensitive computer. You know what they say....like owner, like computer. (Yes, they do say that.)

I didn't think i would get so attached to my old computer, but i guess i was wrong. And even as i type on this new computer, i don't feel any attachment to it...but i know we'll have lots of adventures and fights and malfunctions and